Racing through the stairwell, panting and gasping for air, Yoon Min slammed the door open and reached the rooftop of the hospital. Footsteps moving swiftly across the deck, she caught a glance of the big H sign written in red and stood in the middle of the roof.

There was only one thought echoing in her head.

I shouldn't live. I shouldn't live. I shouldn't live.

The cold air slapped her body, finally found the oxygen she needed. The sky looked mad and angry, throwing snowflakes gracelessly and the clouds seemed upset with her. The world should be upset at her for her poor choice. She just told the doctor to kill her baby.

She had this weird, unfamiliar desire inside her. An emotion rarely so grave and serious. The need to die, the need to let go. To escape from a situation that seemed impossible to deal with, to get relief from really bad thoughts. To jump off the roof with nothing holding her back.

The baby was her only reason to live. She was selfish by thinking this baby was a part of her dead beloved husband and he's a fragment of his father. The baby was a fake scenario that he was still alive and beside her. Now that the baby was gone and killed, what was there left for her?

Yoon Min could finally understand what Seokjin meant in his suicide letter. The terrible need to die. She didn't want to die as much as she wanted to escape from what was going on. And at that particular moment, dying seemed like the only way out. He must've felt the same back then.

Slowly, step by step, she walked to the edge of the roof and stepped on the ledge. She almost gasped at the fact how high she was from the ground, considering the building was ten stories. The cars, the trees, the people looked so tiny and blurry. The houses became works of art, with their beautiful undisturbed snowy roofs. The air was too cold to stand properly but she had to. She was gonna jump anyway.

They say you remember flashbacks of your entire life once you're face to face with your death. That's half true. She could only see a face. His handsome eyes, his pink plump lips, his smooth skin. She could hear the faint sound of his voice, the soft hummings while cooking, the heartfelt laughters. He was all she could see, hear or feel. Maybe because he was her whole life. Her life began with him.

The flashbacks morphed into the thought of his baby. A boy that could've looked like him. A boy that could've changed her life. She killed that little boy who didn't even get to see the world. She couldn't even meet him for a second. God, she committed a crime.

She didn't deserve to live. Actually she didn't deserve to live since a long time ago. The day her husband committed suicide because of her was the day she should've ignored his words and kill herself. She didn't have a single right to live while he died. And now she killed the baby. Why did people keep dying because of her?

She closed her eyes and tightened her fists. Tears were rolling down slowly, cold and frozen against her skin. She never thought she would jump to her death. She thought no matter what challenge life would throw at her, she will overcome every single one of them with confidence, bravery and hope. If she ever knew this life would be so cruel towards her, she would've killed herself in the orphanage some day.

"I-I'm sorry..." She let out with a sob. "I'm sorry I can't do this. I wanted to make you proud. I thought I could do it...live without you. But it's too difficult and painful. I-I can't..."

She somehow wished he could hear her last words. She was failing to keep his request alive.

"I tried...I really tried. I tried to be happy, I tried not to cry...I tried to forget you and build a new purpose. I tried my best not to let you down." She cried as fat tears dropped.

"But my h-heart...my heart can't take it anymore. All this pain, grief and regret...this is too much for me. I'm scared and alone without you, I can't think straight, I can't find a way. I-I can't live like this anymore--"

Even at the verge of her death, no one listened to her. Not even one person cared to stop her. See, her existence didn't matter in Earth. So she wiped her eyes and took a deep breath, ready to let go, ready to fall down, ready to die.

Until...

"Don't do this, Song Yoon Min."

She opened her wet eyes and gasped a little. She stopped herself from walking ahead. Suddenly, she was scared as hell. She wanted to die so badly but there was a little part of her mind that stopped her after all. Even though all parts of her body wanted to let go, that one little part still wanted her to hold on.

Little did she knew...it wasn't just a little part of her.

Seokjin licked his bottom lip and furrowed his eyebrows. He didn't know much about this human. He just knew she lost her husband months ago and continued to have little thoughts about suicide every hour. She loved him too much that she couldn't live without him, thus resulting the want to die frequently. So he's been her guardian all this time, guiding her away from suicide and making her focus on living.

The baby was a great help. Apparently her husband had cheated on her and made another woman pregnant. This human found comfort in the baby and wanted to live for him. Her suicidal feelings were decreasing and almost gone.

Until today, he found his watch beeping and found her trying to kill herself. Unfortunately, the baby died. Poor thing.

He wondered why this woman was blaming herself for everything. It was her husband who was a jerk. He caused all of this to happen. He cheated, died and left her alone. That bastard, who was he anyway?

Shaking his thoughts away, he concentrated on her. "Dear Soul, I know this is a really hard time. You've gone through a lot. You've lost your loved ones to death. But I can assure you, none of it is your fault. You did nothing wrong to stand there and think of dying."

He was standing behind her, watching her shoulders relaxing a little hearing his voice. She was thinking his voice as a part of herself, as if her mind was forbidding herself to die.

"Life is challenging, difficult; in fact living life is like slow death. Life isn't supposed to go your way. Similarly, you'll find yourself in positions where you may think you're at fault. You may be or may not be. However if you keep blaming yourself, you will lose. You're not supposed to do that. Everything doesn't have to be your fault."

She fought back her tears and the deadly desire. Everything doesn't have to be her fault.

"You think you can't live without him. You think you'll never be able to do that. That's not true. You'll move on. It might take years, decades but one day, you won't remember him. That's the rule of life. You think you can't make it, but life goes on. You'll manage to live every day for the rest of your life."

"So come down right now. It's alright. You don't have to kill yourself when you have done nothing wrong."

Yoon Min didn't know a part of her could make her realize these deep things. However, she wasn't convinced enough.

"H-He died...because I hurt him."

Seokjin was silent after hearing her.

"He got so hurt, so unimaginably hurt when I told him I hate him. Just thinking of this makes me so sick. I can't imagine how depressed and alone he must've felt back then. "

She added, sniffling, "My baby died an unfortunate death. He didn't even get to look at the world. He didn't even get to cry for the first time. He had a right to live and I destroyed that."

"So, I have done possibly everything wrong. I don't deserve to l-live. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I don't even know myself!" Choking a sob, she added, "All I know is I can't do this anymore, not without him..."

Seokjin didn't know what to say after that. He had been with her for a long time now. He had seen humans with depression, remorse, no way out, suicidal feelings. But he had saved all of them. He never had to think twice in their cases.

But this particular human was different. She was the first human who was giving him second thoughts about her choice to die. Staying by her side made him realize how much she loved her husband. The absence of him shattered her body and crushed her heart, as if he was her entire life.

Even after he cheated, even after he broke the mutual trust between them, she was still madly in love with him. She couldn't bring herself to hate him since his suicide was enough to kill her. Maybe she hated herself for loving him too much.

He also knew her life wasn't gonna be the same after today. If she survives this suicide, she would repeatedly try to hurt herself in order to die. She wouldn't stop and at one point, she would become insane and would be admitted to an asylum. She would hurt others when she will not be able to kill herself, she would be traumatised by the events of her past and the heavily guilt will never leave her heart. He knew she won't be happy in Earth if she survives.

No matter how difficult any case was, Seokjin always wanted to save every suicidal human. He strongly believed death is never the solution and death won't get them anywhere. But for the first time, he didn't want to save her. He wanted from the bottom of his heart for her to be happy. But he was certain she wouldn't be happy here anymore. Life in Earth would become so torturing for her if she lives.

"I-I'm so sick of getting hurt...I'm so sick of everything!" She cried out, voice louder and filled with grief.

He shouldn't save her. Saving her will be killing her. She'll be alone, unhappy, traumatised, sick and suicidal for the rest of her life. She wasn't stuck between wanting to save herself and wanting to end herself. She was all into wanting to end her life. He considered himself lucky that he couldn't feel her neverending grief.

Guardians have the right to choose if a human should live or commit suicide. He wanted to use this right to save her. He wanted her to commit suicide. Because he believed afterlife would be a better place for her rather than this sickening world. She would be happy if she didn't live.

So Seokjin gave up on her. He wasn't entirely confident if his decision was correct, but he believed he was doing the best for her. She had gone through hell and all the way back since her birth. Every unpleasant memory fought the good ones away, leaving her in the darkness. It wasn't like she didn't deserve to live.

She didn't deserve to get hurt anymore.

He was feeling sympathy for the human, also an unknown gulit for unable to save her, for unable to give her hopes of a happy life ahead. He was never this helpless before. He hoped he was doing the best decision for her.

Yoon Min imagined a life, a life so beautiful and dreamy than any other miracle. She imagined she was carrying a little baby in her arms, and being back-hugged by her precious husband against the soft rays of sunlight. The baby had his lips and her eyes, and that was adorable. He pressed a kiss beside her forehead and touched the baby's tiny hand before whispering a thank you. She smiled in return.

Imagining that made her eyes bawl out tears more in the cold season as her heart shivered against the wind. A happy ending she wished for so much, and yet was given a tragic sad ending. Everything she ever loved was taken away from her. Her life was meaningless and lost now.

And then she finally gave up; as a tear ran down her cheek, she closed her eyes and walked forward in the air. One step and she was gone, falling and falling and falling.

He did nothing when she let herself go. Nothing.

She didn’t dare to open her eyes. But she could feel herself falling from the sky in a fast speed. No one to witness her suicide, no one to stop her, no one to miss her. But she will surely miss waking up in the morning. She will miss the generous sunlight, the beautiful moonlight, the twinkling stars and the soft rains. The incredible snow, the deliciousness of foods and the peace of reading books. She will remember the warmth of people’s hugs, the fun in living, and the awakening eagerness to grow old. The Earth is certainly too beautiful for anyone to realise until the last second of their death.

Goodbye, world. Thank you for the memories and scars.

Vision darkening, bones cracking, sound dissolving, pain rushing, heartbeat stopping...

Life was taken away leaving another untold story dying unchanged.

Till death do us apart...

YEAR: 2026
╚»★«╝

Yoon Min jolted her eyes open and let out a breaking wail. Clutching the left side of her chest, right above the heart, she screamed in agony and her lungs started to burn. Every inch of her body trembled as her shoulders shook violently. She was gasping for air to breathe.

Aereum stood up from her seat and rushed to her. Noticing her discomfort and pain, she placed her hand over her shoulder, asked, “Guardian Yoon Min? What's wrong? Are you alright?”

She couldn't speak. Words were stuck in her throat, choking her. The air suffocated her as every vision, every memory, every emotion was coming back to her. Gulping down the withering memories and the bittersweet emotions she could still feel lingering around her, she slowly began to fit the puzzles. Her vision was still blurry by her tears of a lifetime, but she was wide awake and reminded of her past.

The flashbacks rolled one by one, like the scenes of a movie, building up the storyline of her past. And she figured out everything finally.

Kim Seok Jin. She died for him. Just like he died for her.

He was her beloved husband. Just like she was his precious wife.

He loved her no less than she loved him.

“Guardian Yoon Min? Can you hear me?”

She lost control of her senses as tears began streaming down her face, the very familiar feeling of her dead heart once again aching for him, this time the pain was unstoppable. Crying for everything she went through her life, she met the princess's face and realized she was back in Love Universe.

So she did commit suicide. But that wasn’t important right now.

“Princess Aereum...” She tried to get up on her feet but lost her balance since she was in a sort of deep sleep. “Seokjin...Where is he?”

Aereum stared at her, “I told you he's missing. Don't you remember? He vanished from the universe and there's no sign of him.”

Oh no...

Yoon Min covered her mouth with her hand, “I need to find him!”

She was about to move but the princess caught her arm. “No, Guardian Yoon Min. You just woke up from a five-day-sleep which included decades of your life years. You aren't strong eno--”

The other pulled her hand back, “I need to see him now!”

Saying that, she ran out of the office, slamming the door open. Her bones felt rusty and inactive but she had to make them work again. She had to run. That's all she was thinking. Run and find him. She was running so fast but she almost tripped when someone caught her wrist in a strong hold. She was about bash on that person when she turned around to look, but her eyes widened.

Choi Beomgyu.

“Yoon Min!” He looked shocked as he was about to wrap her arms around her. But she didn’t let him. She snatched her wrist away from his grip and ran, ignoring his calls and leaving him despite her heart felt bad. But Seokjin was her first priority now.

When she arrived in the hallway, she was out of breath and scanned for him. She ignored all the whispers and stares she received from the other guardians and fairies. She just wanted to find him. Making her way through the hallway, she searched the whole department and the school campus, no sign of him. She searched his room, his office, the library. But still no him.

She was going mad so she started calling his name continuously, in hope he would answer her at one point. She was outside the department, out in the fields when she came across the magnificent sky with crystal stars and stardusts. She ran again, tears in her eyes, calling his name like a mad man. Where the heck did he go?

“Seokjin! Seokjin, where are you? Please...” She ran as much as her legs could take her, she yelled his name as much as her voice could endure.

After all the running and calling, there was still no sign of him anywhere. As if he really just disappeared.

Yoon Min had to give up and fell on her knees, crying and wailing his name miserably. She could envision the emotional disaster that was soon to fall on her because the pain in her heart was only growing, hurting her like torture. She clutched the left side of her chest in attempt to slower the pain somehow.

She needed to find Seokjin. She needed to tell him she remembered him. She needed to tell him there was no need to be guilty for her because she wasn’t mad at him. Not anymore, not again. She forgave him way back when she was alive. She needed to tell him she still loved each and every piece of him.

“Come back, Jin...I finally remember who we used to be.”

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Thank you each and every reader for staying with me till its 99th chapter, for not giving up, for not losing patience, for wishing to see what's next. 💜

Please stay with me for the upcoming chapters. It will not be that long.

You, reading this book means the happiest blessing to me. Once again, thank you.

Take care of yourselves!