It had rained the whole day.

It started in the morning and ended just after dusk. Now it was drizzling lightly, the soft touches of raindrops felt like kisses from heaven. The smell of rain resided mostly in the public park. Grasses and tree leaves drenched and danced slightly against the light, wet breeze. The sun was missing from a long time ago, it was hard to know whether it was gone or not.

The sky was tar-black and the large clouds were moving slowly. In this dark weather, she was sitting on a seat in the park, reading a book. She's been sitting there for hours now, she hasn’t moved her gaze or head or anything. Sometimes, she was seen taking deep, long breaths. And she closed her eyes often when the sky erupted in low thunders.

During an after-rain twilight, most people stay at home and do nothing. None comes outside to smell the scent of rain especially with a book to read. But she wasn’t scared to be here. Of course, because she knew she wasn’t alone in the park.

She had known all along he was quietly standing somewhere, just for her.

It was bothersome, but it was also pitiful.

Seokjin didn’t know what was going on inside his wife's head. Why was she here out in this weather? The sun was almost gone and the rain just came to an end. Why did she have to come here and read a book? She could've done that in the hotel. It's truly weird.

He was having a hard time waiting for her to go back. It’s been hours already. So he quietly tiptoed his way towards a bench that was right behind her. She seemed too focused on her book so he assumed she didn’t figure out someone was behind her. He sat there and waited patiently. He couldn’t leave her alone in a time like this.

Little did he know, she knew what he was doing.

Yoon Min stood up from the seat out of the blue and turned around to glare at him. He got startled by her sudden movement and pressed a hand over his left chest.

“Stop following me.” She sounded strict.

Seokjin blinked his eyes blankly and stood up with her. His heart started pounding because it's been so long she stared into his eyes. The night she was drunk and came to their home was days ago. They had no sort of interaction since then. Well now, it was happening.

He finally got a chance to talk to her and he didn’t want to waste it. “Yoon Min--”

But she cut him off too soon. “I don't want to have any conversation with you so please leave.”

Shaking his head in confusion, he replied, “But we need to. We need to have some conversation.”

Yoon Min was frozen by his answer. He didn’t force her in anything so far, so she realized he really needed to have a talk. It was understandable, she was running away from him for more than a month, leaving him with no idea of what to do. They needed to talk.

So she relaxed her shoulders down, breathing softly. Which gave him relief that she was willing to talk.

He started taking steps towards her but immediately stopped when he saw her holding a palm to stop him. She wanted distance from him.

Nodding, he decided to talk from where he was.

“I don't even know where I should start...” He glanced at her face, more relieved to see she wasn’t reacting. “I just want you to know in this world, I've never felt anything like what I feel for you.”

She didn’t answer. In fact, she was surprised he took another route. She thought he was going to apologize again.

“What I feel for you can't be written down by any words of literature because it's just unexplainable. I love you for a million reasons and I've never loved or will never love anyone as much as I love you. I can swear this on your life.”

He continued, “So what I did that night, wasn’t because I don't love you. I did that because of my wicked desires, I did it because I was drunk. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

Yoon Min was taken aback by his words. She really didn’t expect him to justify something she said days ago. He was trying to correct her idea of blaming herself for everything.

“And you said you aren't pretty, smart or powerful. No, that's not true. You're more beautiful than any star in the sky, you've a big heart and you're forgiving, also nice to people. Despite going through a difficult childhood, you grew up to be a good woman. You're perfect in my eyes so whatever happened wasn’t because you lacked something.”

Seokjin licked his lower lip and confessed with certainty, “Everything is my fault. I did it because of my selfish, sinful cravings and what I did is unforgivable. I'm the one who brought this disaster upon us. And I'm sorry. I can't believe how much I've hurt you. I can't even ask you to forgive me because...I know what I have done and I shouldn’t be forgiven. I don't know what to do anymore, Yoon Min.”

He lowered his gaze as soon as he was finished and it seemed like he was trying his best not to break into sobs.

She didn’t say anything. She just stared at him oddly. The lump in her throat was growing.

“Hurt?”

Hearing her voice, his eyes met with hers and they were full of agony.

“You didn’t hurt me, Jin.” She slightly mocked the word with a bitter chuckle. “You know it doesn’t even hurt, okay? Hurt is a little, cute word that sounds like nothing compared to what you did to me.”

He stared at her eyes innocently, lips trembling.

“You destroyed me. You shattered my already weak heart into million tiny pieces that I'm scared nothing will be able to mend them back. You demolished my entire faith in you. You even demoralized me completely!”

The anger and hatred spilled out of her mouth.

“Have you ever imagined yourself in my shoes? How I felt when I stepped inside our home and found out you slept with your ex? Did you ever think how insecure, inferior and betrayed I felt?! After everything we've gone through to be with each other, how could you do that to us, Kim Seok Jin?!”

She took a huge breath, unable to believe the anger came out of her like a wave. Her heart broke when she saw the look in his face, so scared, so broken, so empty. But the deep grudge her insides burned for him was more.

With a tear falling down, she spit at him, “I wanted to die! All these time I prayed to Almighty to take my life. I can't live with this fact that you; out of every people in this word, you had to push me like this! I feel so small and betrayed...I feel like I can't trust no one ever again, not even myself.”

Seokjin couldn’t think of speaking a word. He was shocked how she was reacting and truth to be told, she should react like this. He just didn’t think she was this mad.

“I-I just...I'm just very tired, you know? I-I still can't believe it. It still feels like a scary nightmare and I'm trying so hard to wake up. But you know what? Even after waking up, I was back in the same shit. Because it’s the truth. Because the truth is you had sex with another woman! You destroyed this marriage and ruined my life.” She finally started wailing as her anger and hatred molded into sadness.

Unable to look into his eyes, she spun around and tried to pull herself together.

She couldn’t let herself be hurt again. It was all too much. She barely survived whatever she went through in the past, bullied and unacknowledged by everyone and now his betrayal was just slapping her non-stop. Her tears didn’t stop falling as she cried loudly this time.

Her head felt so lightheaded that she wanted to fall down. But then she felt him coming closer to her, also sobbing soundlessly.

“Y-Yoon Min...” He sobbed, trying to thrust his arms forward to reach her.

But she stepped away from him and shakily said, “No! Don't come near me!” It was more of a frightened shout.

“P-Please--”

“No, you bastard! You're just a piece of shit. You're cruel and heartless and foolish. I don't want to look at you, I don't even want to talk to you. You disgust me, you make me feel so sick. You're nothing but some pathetic jerk. What did I ever do to you?” She marched towards him and pushed his chest with her hands, causing him to strumble a little.

“Answer me, what did I ever do to you? Why did you hurt me like this? What was my fault, Jin! H-How could you steal my heart and damage it like an animal!? Why?! Why did you have to--” She ended up crying louder and sadder.

Seokjin's body was aching to have her in his arms, to caress her and console her, to whisper sweet words and to wipe her pitiful tears away. He couldn’t tolerate it when he saw her crying so miserably right now. And how she was begging for an answer. His heart clenched when he heard she wanted to die. Because of him.

“Go away, Kim Seok Jin! Get the hell away from my sight! I hate you! You're a monster. You think you're the only one who regrets marrying me? No! I regret as well. If I could, I would go back in time and do everything to stop myself from falling for you. I hate you goddamn so much! Do me a favor and just die. Go kill yourself! Get out of my life please!”

Yoon Min was at a shock at her own reaction. She didn’t mean to sound like that, she didn’t mean to call him those, to make him feel that pathetic. But right now, hurting him seemed like the perfect satisfaction. She thought hurting him would make her feel better and avenged.

It didn’t work. She felt more guilty.

Her head was so dizzy from all the stress and crying that she fell to her knees and cried, covering her face in her hands. She didn’t know how she felt at this point. Her insides boiled in madly anger when she thought of what he did. But her heart pierced when she saw how he hadn’t slept for weeks and trying his all to bring her back to him. What was she supposed to do? She couldn’t go back to him. But she couldn’t forgive him either.

While she sobbed for a while, she felt him kneeling in front of her and taking her hands in his. Her tearful eyes saw his red, ashamed ones that weren’t looking at hers. Her heart broke for the thousand time when she saw him fighting his tears and his lips quivering helplessly. He was desperate like her.

Without any word, he pulled her head to rest on his shoulder as a sign of consolation. She felt him kissing her hair and his tears falling on her body. His lips pressed against her head for a long time and for a second, she felt like he wasn’t only consoling her, but fulfilling the voids without her in his heart. She didn’t protest and let herself cry in his embrace.

Seokjin heard her breathing softly, “Now I'm trying to convince my heart to forget everything and accept you again. But unfortunately, the pain and wounds you caused made my heart deaf. I can't go back anymore. Knowing you broke my trust so easily, I-I just can't. I'm so tired...” she let out a sharp exhale and closed her eyes.

He didn’t answer anything. He remained silent, only repeated his kiss a few times and dropped heavy, guilty tears. He placed a gentle hand over her back and caressed her. She didn’t know what was going on inside his head. She didn’t bother knowing. She was done caring for him.

After a while, he finally spoke up, “I-I understand.” It was a shaky reply with a cracked voice.

He pulled himself away from her and didn’t even glance at her for a second. He stood up on his feet and suddenly walked away from her. She was confused at first, unable to find the reason behind his sudden change in behaviour. Then she realized it was for the best. It was better if he left.

Walking away made Seokjin realize he wasn’t leaving Yoon Min alone. He was leaving his heart and their memories with her. He felt that his heart was fully ripped out of his chest and burning. He realized after what he had done, there was no point of apologizing and wanting to fix everything. Because he lost the chance the night he decided to destroy his happy marriage. He caused immense pain to his innocent wife who didn’t deserve it. He did a heinous, terrible crime and he should be punished.

Death seemed like a pretty good option.

-------------

Seokjin never came back.

The day they had a huge fight in the park was almost five days ago. He never came back after that day. He never even followed her around or assigned people to check on her.

Instead of being relieved, Yoon Min was anxious for some reason. The chills still got into her whenever she thought of him. She didn’t see him for days and she was starting to feel a little restless.

She was laying flat on her bed inside her hotel room aimlessly. Her chest had been feeling weird since she woke up. She wasn’t sick but she felt like she was suffering. She felt like her heart was injured and bleeding, along with her headache increasing. She wasn’t feeling well so she thought to get some sleep.

That's when, there was the sound of her doorbell.

Immediately having a feeling that it was him, she hopped onto the the floor and went to open the door. If he thought appearing after so many days could make her feel very anxious, then he was right. He still had a huge effect on her.

She opened the door with a grumpy mood to show him she was annoyed. But her eyes widened when she found unexpected guests in front of her door.

The police.

“Maam, are you Song Yoon Min?” The chief police asked, scanning her face.

She didn’t forget to notice the other residents of the hotel stopping and staring at them with their unwanted gossips. She grew scared and opened the door more widely.

“Yes...”

“You're Mr. Kim Seok Jin's wife?”

Thud. Her heart stopped beating. Why were they taking his name?

She slowly nodded her head, the sick feeling spread out everywhere.

The chief police glanced at his fellow mate for a sec and looked back at her. He seemed devasted and grieving. He was hesitating to speak but it seemed like it was extremely important for him to say that.

Oh no...

“You need to come with us immediately. We received a report that your husband has committed suicide.”