It's been a few days since it all happened. Weeks perhaps. He didn’t know. He lost track of time the moment he lost her in the rain. Speaking of rain, it's been raining almost every day now. Maybe because it was the rainy season. It was quite strange; how the nature seemed to feel the way his heart was broken.

Once again, Yoon Min was gone.

But, this time he knew where she was.

She was staying at his hotel. Many staff people recognized her when they saw her. They wondered why the wife of their CEO suddenly wanted to stay at this hotel when they had a mansion of their own. One of them leaked the information to Seokjin and that's how he found her location.

Since then, he visited the hotel every day. He would sit on a couch in the lobby and wait till every night. Just to see a glimpse of her face, just to see if she was doing okay. The staff people started rumours not long after. Some were dangerously close to the truth.

But Yoon Min never came out of her room. This worried him to death. So he instructed the receptionist to check on her. She didn’t pick up when the receptionist called her from the landline, she didn’t answer when a staff knocked on her door, she didn’t call for any room service. The signs weren’t positive and the result was same for a week. There was no sign of her at all. As if she was a ghost and she didn’t need anything.

Then he realized she was heartbroken. She was grieving. She locked herself away from the world and she was starving herself. Because the pain he caused her drove her crazy. Her mind was too corrupted to even think of herself. She was drowning in her own world of pain and she didn’t want to be saved. This time, she wanted to die.

And it made him sick. So sick and mad at himself. Seokjin was so mad for letting her slip away from his life. Even more mad at himself for betraying her. He messed everything up when he couldn’t control his lust, his sinful desires. He was the reason she was acting recklessly and he was scared if she might do something horrible to herself.

Most importantly, he couldn’t do anything for her. There was no point of calling her several times and sending her hundreds of apology texts. It did him no good when he took the courage to knock on her door himself and call her name desperately, requested her to at least eat something. Silence was all he received.

Heck, he knew it was his fault. It was all his fault and he hurt her and she had enough of his shit. And seeing her starving herself made him madder. How long would she go on like this? Until she died out of hunger?

Just like that, when almost two weeks passed without any sign of her leaving the room, Seokjin was done waiting. He knew something was wrong and he needed to do something immediately. So he ordered the staff to give him the spare key-card of her room. He opened the door and he was greeted with nothing but darkness. He coughed a little and entered the room quietly.

The windows were covered by curtains, allowing no light of joy to come inside and illuminate her room. When he turned the lights on, his heart skipped a beat upon looking at her laying on the bed unconsciously. He gasped in shock and an unintentional sob left his mouth. She was looking so weak, so pale, so thin. As if she forgot to be healthy and turned into a stick.

Without wasting time, he took her to the hospital and yelled at the doctors to treat her immediately. The doctors took a full check-up on her and gave her a bed in the emergency room, also assigned nurses to give her salines every hour. Then one of the doctors took him to a different place and informed,

“She looked malnourished and sick. She hasn't eaten anything since the last two weeks but she managed to stay dehydrated. We also found out she took a number of sleeping pills every day in order to get sleep. It's a good thing she was brought here before it was too late. Five more days and she would've been dead considering the amount of pills she took. At this point, we have to assume she was trying to kill herself.”

Seokjin lost words to speak and couldn’t answer the doctor. It was driving him crazy, driving him very mad. The fact she was trying to die and it was all because of him just shot his heart. He couldn’t stand properly as he gripped onto something and shut his eyes. Her head was full of suicide attempts and grief, grudge, pain. If he wasn’t there by her side now, how would he protect her?

Heart crumbled again and tears formed in his eyes. That's when, a nurse came out of her room and told the doctor,

“She's conscious now, doctor.”

“That was quick. It's been only an hour.” It wasn’t sure whether the doctor was playing around or not.

Seokjin's eyes lit up in hope and joy as he attempted to enter inside her room. But the nurse grabbed his arm and stopped him.

“Whoa, whoa, Sir. Are you her husband?”

It took him three seconds to nod his head. Husband...he shouldn’t be called that. He lost that title a long time ago.

She sighed, “The patient doesn't want to see you.”

Again...another bullet pierced through his heart. He blinked once just in surprise.

“She just told me not to let you meet her. Did you guys have a fight?” The nurse tried to chuckle.

He should've known she would want this. Isolating herself, starving herself, taking too many pills were all the reasons to forget him. Of course, how didn’t he realize that? Did he think it was too easy?

Letting out a bitter chuckle that was as soft and painful to hear, he glanced at the closed door one more time, imagining her laying on the bed and fighting against her tears. Thinking that made him feel a tiny bit better.

Still he didn’t give up. He promised to God that he won't stop fighting for her no matter what. Maybe not now, but one day she'll open the door for a conversation. And when that day comes, he would beg to her in front of the world if needed.

Home was the last place he wanted to go now. Because every corner reminded him of her. Flashes of memories came rushing in; memories of her in the kitchen, living room, bedroom, everywhere. She was there in his life as far as he could remember and suddenly, her absence took a troll on him. He didn’t want to be here, but at the same time, he couldn’t leave their dream home.

And it was his time to cry. He crawled into a fetal position on their shared bed, the same bed they used to sleep in each others' arms; and cried. He never cried this much in his life. He just wanted her back though he knew there was no possibility of that. He needed her to stay but she was gone. Yoon Min was in the hospital, weak and numb; but he could do nothing for her. He couldn't even see her. He didn’t have the chance or permission.

All those things she did and gave, they all led her to crying. He remembered how she never held him back, how she always gave her full support for him, how she never wanted anything in return. He remembered she only wanted one thing from him. Maintain our love and trust. Her voice rung in his head like an alarm, banging his body with a hammer.

At the end, he just went on fulfilling his desires. He made her cry and look where it took him, to his own grieving maze.

“I'm so sorry, Yoon Min...” He sobbed, staring at the ceiling. Just how did he make everything this worse?