You were in the diner, in your uniform, with Bill inside your waiter hat, and you had just served a customer their coffee.

"Here you go, sir." You said, and then walked over to a table with five new customers seated at it.

"Hello, what would you like to ord-" You started, until you realized who they were.

Stanford, Stanley, Soos, Dipper and Mabel.

Bill started swearing in your head, he was so shocked.

They were all sat there, staring at you, confused at why you suddenly stopped speaking.

You quickly waved it off as hiccups.

"-er. Sorry, I have hiccups..." You said with an apologetic laugh, secretly dying on the inside.

What kind of lame excuse was that? Bill said, having calmed down. 

Well it's not every day that you're suddenly met with people you've only seen on a device! You shot back.

"Five plates of pancakes." Stan said, turning away, seemingly not caring. However, Ford squinted his eyes when he spotted your hat.

Immediately realizing that Bill was visible on your hat, you panicked.

"Okay, coming right up!" You said quickly, sprinting away to the counter.

Did he see you? You asked Bill while telling Lazy Susan there was an order for five plates of pancakes.

He was looking right at me! How could he have not seen me?! Bill yelled in your mind, just as panicked as you were.

Oh crud- Were the only two words you could muster as a few minutes later you grabbed the tray of pancakes and headed over to the table.

As you set the tray down, Stan handed you a few bucks, but Ford asked you a question.

"Are you new around here? Haven't seen you before." He said. You felt like your throat was squeezing.

"Yeah! You seem like someone pretty memorable. Pretty sure I'd have recognized you." Mabel said. The fact Mabel called you memorable warmed your heart enough for you to speak.

"Oh, yeah, I just moved here." You said, your thoughts going a million miles per hour. "Anyway, lotta orders I gotta take care of, so see ya!"

And then before they could say anything, you walked to the next table.

We're screwed, Bill thought. You couldn't agree more.

+.*.+

After you received your paycheck in the afternoon, you headed back home to change.

However, you bumped into Dipper and Mabel.

Why world why, You thought to yourself. As if I didn't have enough stress this morning...

Don't worry about Shooting Star, she's not likely to find out, Bill said. But Pine Tree, on the other hand...

Couldn't you have made your pattern small or something? You responded.

I don't control what's put on the clothing, alright? Bill said. Now how's about you actually focus?!

You still felt a little grumpy, but you obliged because you knew he was right...

"Oh, hi! You're that waiter person from earlier!" Mabel said.

You didn't really get a good look at the twins earlier, but you could see they were taller (probably the work of puberty) and they looked older. They were probably thirteen. Dipper was wearing his signature pine tree hat again, so he must have traded for it back with Wendy.

"Yeah, I am. I just finished my shift, so..." You said.

"Your waiter hat has a weird pattern on it..." Dipper pointed out. You wanted to fall into the ground right then and there.

"U-Um, yeah, it does..." You said with a nervous laugh. "I have no idea why, though..."

You're not doing a very good job, Bill said blatantly.

Well, I'm trying! I'm not good under pressure! You replied.

"One second." Dipper said, and then pulled Mabel aside to whisper with her.

You were seriously considering just bailing out of there. But before you could, Dipper and Mabel turned to you again.

"You haven't, uh, shaken hands with someone, have you?" Mabel asked.

"Uh... nope...?" You lied, slowly inching backwards.

"You okay? You're looking a little pale..." Mabel said.

"Well... you see... the thing about that is..." You immediately booked it and ran. "RUUUNNNN!!"

"Hey! Get back here!" Dipper yelled. You glanced behind you to see the twins were chasing after you.

Guess I'm the 'monster of the week' now- You thought to yourself as you tried to vault over a dumpster and miserably failed.

"Ack! Ow!" You groaned.

You're terrible at this, huh? Bill said.

Well I don't see you doing anything! You shot back, quickly getting from the ground and resuming your sprint.

That's because I can't! Bill retorted. You grunted because you knew that was true.

Dipper and Mabel were gaining on you, so you decided to run down an alley - only to discover it was a dead end.

When you turned back around to leave, however, the mystery twins blocked your path.

"It's over Bill! Get out of this person's body!" Dipper yelled.

You blinked.

"What? I'm not possessed." You said. "Wouldn't my eyes look different if I was?"

"Aha! So you do know Bill!" Mabel said.

Way to go, Reader! You got us cornered by two kids! Bill said.

Well your passive-aggressiveness isn't helping here! You shot back.

"Well... uh... you see, I can explain..." You stuttered.

"You better!" Mabel said.

You started explaining to the twins about everything that had happened, from when you found the statue to the present.

"Why the heck did you free Bill?!" Dipper asked. "And your whole 'TV Show' thing is ridiculous!"

"And this whole 'soul-bound' stuff sounds like the start of a romantic fanfiction or something!" Mabel said.

Your cheeks went red as you got flustered.

"Wha - I - look, if you don't believe me, then that's your choice. But it's the truth, ridiculous as it is!" You said. "Bill didn't believe it at first either."

"You're avoiding my question." Dipper said.

"Because I don't have an answer for it!" You said.

"Does that mean you're lying and trying to think of an answer?" Mabel asked.

"No, it means I just don't know why!" You said, crossing your arms.

"Then prove your soul-bound part at least. Where's Bill?" Dipper asked. "If you fell down the Bottomless Pit and Bill was dragged down with you, then he can't be in a different place from you."

"I thought the answer to this was obvious." You said. "He's in my hat."

"Okay, well can he come out, then?" Dipper asked.

You sighed. "Bill?"

"Fine, I'm coming out." Bill said. With a flash of light, he appeared, the chain around your wrists visible.

Dipper and Mabel took a step back with a defensive stance.

"Relax, Pine Tree and Shooting Star, I don't have any abilities like during Weirdmageddon. The only powers I have are the powers I had before I destroyed the rift." Bill said.

"And you can clearly see the chain on our wrists." You said, holding up your hand to show them.

Dipper and Mabel's shoulders relaxed a bit, but being in the presence of Bill still made them apprehensive.

"I'm still not sure about this whole 'we're from a TV show' thing..." Dipper said.

"If it's actually true, I bet I'm the main character!" Mabel said.

I blinked.

"I mean... you're a main character..." You said.

"I still don't believe this TV show exists unless you prove it to us." Dipper said.

So, you took out your phone and showed a few episodes to them.

This is getting old, You thought, as you put your phone away.

Dipper and Mabel just stared open-mouthed at you, as if not expecting your words to actually be true.

"Wha - but - how?!" Dipper said. He took out a blue notebook with a pine tree symbol on the cover, along with a pen, and began furiously scribbling stuff down. You recognized the notebook from the Lost Legends comics.

Mabel was ecstatic. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE ON A TV SHOW!!"

"This is why you shouldn't have told them..." Bill said, pinching his eyelid like a human would pinch their brow in frustration.

"To be honest I think I'm regretting that decision as well." You replied, staring at how shocked and frantic the two were, but both in different ways.

"Okay, TV show stuff aside, we need to get you guys to the Mystery Shack." Dipper said, closing the book and putting it away. Mabel nodded, as her excitement had (mostly) subsided.

Bill immediately refused.

"Nope! Not happening!" Bill said. "I'm going nowhere near Sixer and Fez!"

He tugged at the chain between us. "Come on Reader, we're leaving!"

"Woah - hey-" You said, being dragged by the chain. Dipper and Mabel got in Bill's way.

"Not so fast, Bill!" Mabel said.

"Unless you want us to defeat you for a fourth time?" Dipper said, Mabel holding her grappling hook threateningly.

Bill tensed up. (Not sure how that looks but work with me here-)

"Woah, woah!" You stepped in. "Guys, guys!"

Dipper and Mabel turned to you (although they still stole glances at Bill from time to time to make sure he wasn't doing anything fishy).

"You do remember that killing Bill would kill me, right?" You said.

Dipper looking at the floor, his hand to his chin. "True..."

"Which is exactly why we need Great Uncle Ford to look at you two, so he can figure out what's going on!" Mabel said. "Maybe he can find a way to break the chain?"

Bill rolled his eye.

"I doubt it. A soul bind is almost unbreakable. The only tool that can break a soul bind needs to made from an extremely rare material called 'Life Steel'." Bill said. "The only way to obtain it is by sacrificing someone's life. Hence the name. And I doubt Reader would be up for that, as fun as that sounds."

He gave a glance at you before turning back to the twins.

Well I mean... maybe Gideon...? You thought. Actually wait, nevermind. As loathsome as he is, he's technically still a ten year old. If only he were older...

"Yeah, no death would be preferrable." You said. "But still, maybe Ford could find another way? Besides, you've made it very clear that you see me as deadweight."

After a few moments of thought, Bill sighed.

"Fine." Bill said reluctantly. He got into your hat again, the chain disappearing.

"But first, I need to change out of this uniform." You said.