Trigger Warning

Andy wakes up at around 8am and sees that Remington is still holding him. He has a horrible headache and his chest hurts to breathe, probably from crying so hard at the park and then crying himself to sleep. He also only slept for about 3 or 4 hours, making everything hurt even worse- physically and emotionally.

He feels so alone and empty inside. He hates himself more than he has in a long time. He really thought that Ashley loved him. He begins to think of all the things wrong with him and reasons why Ashley doesn't love him.

Not skinny enough.
Not pretty enough.
Too many scars.
Not ready for sex.
Too depressed.
Too anxious.
A burden.
Too broken.

As these thoughts run through his mind, Andy finds himself crying again. He tries to calm himself down, but he can't. He feels completely broken; like nothing will ever be okay again. While he's crying, he starts so feel a familiar itch in his wrists. This hasn't happened in so long. He tries so hard to ignore it, but it gets too strong. He knows he needs to do something.

Andy carefully untangles himself from Remington's arms and gets out of bed. He grabs his phone off the dresser and one of Remington's hoodies from his closet. He walks out of the room and down the hall to the bathroom. He shuts the door behind him, making sure to lock it.

By now, the itch is so strong that it's making it nearly impossible to think of anything else.

He takes off his phone case and pulls out a blade, something he kept in there for emergencies. When Ashley found out about Andy's cutting, he made Andy give him all his razor blades. Andy never told him about the one in his phone case, and right now, he couldn't be more thankful that Ashley never found it.

Andy looks down at his wrist as the urge overpowers him, causing him to drag the blade across his skin. He finally feels something other than the pain of Ashley cheating on him, and he doesn't want it to end. Before he can think, he's made at least 20 cuts on his arm. He watched the blood drip for a few minutes as reality sets in and he realizes what he's done. He shoves the blade back into his phone case and presses toilet paper to his arm to stop the bleeding. Once the bleeding stops, he flushed the bloody toilet paper down the toilet, pulls on Remington's hoodie, and leaves the bathroom.

He doesn't want to go back to bed with Remington because he doesn't want to be a burden on him. He's already done so much for him and he doesn't want to bother him anymore. Instead, Andy goes downstairs and curls up on the couch, putting Batman on to distract his mind from the awful thoughts.

He has no idea how long he's been watching Batman for, not that he was even paying attention to it, but the next thing he knows is that Remington is sitting on the couch looking at him with so much concern that it makes him want to jump into his arms and cry his eyes out while telling him everything.

"Andy, there's blood in the bathroom sink. Are you okay? Did something happen?" Remington asks, his voice filled with worry.

Andy feels his heart race and all color drains from his face. His eyes fill with tears and he knows there's nothing he can do to stop them, so he just lets them fall. He feels so stupid for not checking the bathroom for any blood. God, he's such a fuck up.

"Andy, whatever it is, you can tell me. I'm here for you and I want to help you." Remington says as he grabs Andy's hands and looks him in the eyes.

"I can't. You'll hate me." Andy whispers.

His voice breaks and he knows he's gonna cry again, and there's nothing he can do to stop it. He feels so weak for crying so much. In his mind, he should be able to handle the pain he's in without crying every 10 minutes. All he wants to do is crawl into a hole and die.

Remington's heart breaks and he pulls Andy into a hug, holding him tightly. The second Andy feels Remington's arms around him, he breaks down sobbing even harder than he did at the park, making the pain in his head and chest even worse.

"I-I'm s-sorry Rem. I-I'm sorry." Andy sobs, clinging to Remington as if his life depends on it.

"Shh shh, it's alright Andy. I got you." Remington whispers as he pulls Andy into his lap and holds him the same way he did at the park. He tries everything he can think of to get Andy to calm down, but nothing works.

Andy feels like he's completely falling apart. He's sobbing so fucking hard that he can't breathe, his heart feels like it's going to jump out of his chest, his head hurts from how hard and how much he's been crying, his chest feels like someone is stabbing him, his eyes feel like they're on fire from all the tears, and his whole body is shaking violently.

Remington is scared. He's never seen anyone cry this hard. He's worried that Andy's gonna make himself sick or pass out. He wants to help Andy and calm him down, but he doesn't know what to do other than holding him. He holds him for a few more minutes until Andy suddenly jumps out of his arms and runs into the bathroom before throwing up.

Remington gets up and follows him into the bathroom. He sits behind Andy and rubs his back until he's done throwing up. Once he's done, he's still crying but not as hard. He's in so much pain physically and emotionally, and all he wants to do is die.

"I wanna die, Rem. I just wanna die." Andy whispers, crying more as he wraps his arms around himself.

Remington feels tears in his eyes as he leans against the wall behind him and pulls Andy onto his lap again so he can hold him.

"Andy, please don't say that. I know it hurts like hell right now, but I promise you it will get better. I'm going to help you through this. Everything is going to be okay, I promise." He whispers and he hugs Andy as tight as he can.

Andy cries into Remington until he can't cry anymore. He's so worn out and exhausted from crying, and his body hurts so bad that he can hardly move.

"Remi my head hurts. And my chest." Andy whispers, hiding his face in Remington's shoulder.

"Do you want some pain killers?" Remington asks as he rubs Andy's back. Andy nods, but regrets it right after since the pain gets even worse after, making him whimper in pain.

Remington picks Andy up and carries him to the couch, laying him down carefully before going into the kitchen. He gets a glass of water and 2 pain killers to bring to Andy. He gives Andy the medicine and the water. Andy takes the medicine and drinks some of the water before handing the glass to Remington, who puts it on the coffee table.

"Are your eyes itchy? I have some drops I can give you." Remington says, noticing how Andy's rubbing his eyes a lot.

"They burn." Andy says and continues to rub his eyes.

"Don't rub them. It'll make it worse. I'll go get the drops." Remington says before leaving the room.

He goes into the bathroom and grabs the eye drops from the cabinet. He hands them to Andy and he puts the drops in his eyes before handing the bottle back to Remington.

"Feel better?" Remington asks as he sits on the couch with Andy, rubbing his chest softly to try and ease the pain.

He still wants to know where the blood in the bathroom came from, but seeing how Andy reacted the last time he asked, he decides to leave it alone for now. He has an idea of what it is, but he really hopes he's wrong.

"Yea I guess. I'm sorry for crying so much." Andy whispers.

"It's okay, Andy. Don't apologize. You're hurting right now. It's better to cry and let it out than hold it in." Remington says as he pulls Andy into another hug.

"Thanks, Rem. For everything." Andy whispers as he cuddles into Remington.

"Anything for you, Ands." Remington whispers and rubs Andy's back again, soothing him into a deep, much needed sleep.