'You must marry all five of my sons!' she had directed.

All five of them.

The noises that were prevalent in the palace didn't affect her remotely. It were her own words that impaled her being.

All five! , her clear voice resounded as if they were making a prophecy.

And truly enough, hadn't they prophesised the direction of her life? Hadn't they moulded her image in people's eyes?

Weren't those the very words the reason why a figment of her own past had called her a whore?

Oh Draupadi!- , Kuntidevi called out, as if she were summoning a Goddess whose wrath she had invited on herself.

-Why did you not deny? Why did you not oppose? Why did you relent?

-Why did you choose to be directed by my will?

-Why?

Of course, when she had said those words, she had known full well, that it was not some mere prize her sons were talking of. Nor was her instruction etched in stone that it couldn't be denied.

It is but a necessity, a grave necessity to preserve their unity, she had reasoned with herself while framing Draupadi's destiny.

And tonight, those very words held her in guilt for Draupadi's plight.

Unity?!, her own conscience scoffed at her.

Did her sons have that meagre self-worth? To let discord corrode their bond, because one of their brothers had married that beatific Princess, desired by many.

Then of what worth was she? What place did those ideals hold, that she had instilled in her sons.

Didn't they have the minimum amount of rationale that would dissuade them from coveting their brother's wife? Could Yudhishthir not allow his fascination to fade away? Could Bheem not allow his infatuation to mellow down? Were Nakul and Sahadev of such ignoble values that they wouldn't stop desiring their brother's wife, of a stature akin to that of her own?

Did she not trust her own upbringing?

Or, was Yudhishthir's glance at her so intense that she had to act so desperately to keep her sons united?

Gandhari's sons were inseparably bonded. To them, Duryodhan's word was law.

The devotion of Yudhishthir's younger brothers to him was of no small magnitude either.

But one glance of an affection gone wrong, and Kunti had acted as such.

She could feel Yudhishthir's pulse, as strongly as she'd felt Arjun's reluctance.

But Arjun hadn't voiced a single word of protest to shield his wife from being married to the other four of his brothers.

Instead, he had very subtly stepped away from her.

Even today, he had said nothing, when Karna had openly labelled her to be promiscuous.

Karna! , she whispered, as if shielding her whisper from the very air that she breathed.

Karna, sired by Surya before her wedding.

Karna, of the innate armour and earrings.

Karna, who she'd floated away, chopping away a part of her soul forever.

Karna, who hated them.

Somehow, when she began piecing all the pieces together, they all fell into place, forming another maze, which was beyond her to solve.

This was only a culmination of consequences.

***

'Shiva!' she breathed.

The dark mound of the Linga stared at her, the destroyer's third eye, fixed on her as if examining her devotion to him.

Even with the blindfold on her eyes, that had once been aglow, Gandhari had never needed the necessity of sight to gauge the happenings in her environs.

Even today, though her corporeal presence wasn't there when Draupadi had thrashed about to free herself from Dushyasan's grip of steel, the renunciation of sight hadn't impaired the scream she had let out while being dragged, to tear her into countless pieces. Nor had her heart escaped from the pang of guilt that had seared through her.

Gandhari had surely forgotten and forgiven a lot more than she could remember.

For, she had forgotten what light felt like, forgiven those who had ravaged her land. The voices of her kin never came to trepidate or comfort her. The crimson land of Gandhara never showed itself to her as a relic of her past.

For she was now a Kuru Queen. No longer was she a Princess of Gandhara.

But this, those screams that had issued themselves from Draupadi's persecution, mocked the stature of the Queen that she was.

More so, they castigated the mother that she was, the sister that she was -

-The very woman that she was.

Could she not have left the side of the Linga?

Could she not have slapped her son right across his cheek, for touching his brothers' wife?

Could she not have held that woman to her heart and absolve her of all injustice?

Could she not have condemned her own brother, for letting his animosity corrode the being of her own son?

Gandhari kept deliberating of all what could have been.

Her heart went out to Draupadi.

And it was, perchance, the first time in her life, that she felt that this couldn't afford the privilege of being forgiven and forgotten. She had forgotten Duryodhan's deed of trying to poison Bheem when they were young, thinking that silencing any discussions would dissuade him from any such vehement actions. But she had been grievously wronged when they had plotted to kill them by sending them away to the Lakshagriha.

Even that, she had forgiven, after her nephews had escaped unscathed.

Never had she thought, that her son's hatred was only gathering venom, that made him immune to anything that detracted him from such animosity.

She didn't know what to feel for her son. His avarice for kingship was becoming a detriment to the person that he was.

She didn't know what feelings she would harbour for Shakuni, whose thirst for retribution had long devoured the brother she had known.

Shiva's third eye glared at her unsympathetically.

That eye had a lot to unleash. After all, it was not just some petty war that her son had won by deceit.

A lot of consequences were awaited.

***

Ruminations, regret and reflections laced the night. Parashvi was exhausted. Though her exertions had been far from physical.

The sedative had got Bhanumati through the night. But Parashvi was in no condition to have been administered by one.

For now, slumber would not be as easy to come as it used to be. Now, it would require a lot of effort and exertion to muster the privilege of slumber.

It were these thoughts that the sedative and Bhanumati's frailty had prevented her from being disturbed.

Parashvi cast a glance at the casement. The sky seemed to be reluctantly shedding its gloom.

'Jiji!-' , she heard a murmur. Parashvi directed her glance to face Bhanumati.

'Jiji!'-, she called out. Even in such a state of delirium, her beauty hadn't taken leave of her. The sight of that murmuring rose, further drove the onlooker to pity.

Those very thoughts that had been prevented entry by that sedative. Now that its effects were wearing off, those thoughts had leached their way into her.

Delirium was not a very apt host for such musings, Parashvi concluded. They needed an outlet to vent themselves to.

'Bhanu,'- she called her very softly. -'Are you all right, dear?' she said as she gently shook her.

A pair of brown orbs fluttered open, as her lips still held on to that bleak murmur.

'Ma...'- she uttered, -'Jiji?' Bhanumati called some phantom fragment of Draupadi, as if searching for her.

'She's in Indraprastha.'

Even normalcy was becoming a task, Parashvi thought, while she helped that frail girl sit up, while reclining on the bedstead.

'Vasudev rescued her.' Bhanumati was informed.

'Was Kaanha here last night?' she asked.

'No.'- Parashvi breathed. -' He wasn't here in person. Draupadi had summoned him while-'

That didn't need to be spoken aloud. Both women felt their breath getting trapped in their lungs.

The stillness that followed was strange, yet, oddly unburdening. The fact that Draupadi had been rescued brought upon them, a strange yet, settling relief.

Parashvi volunteered to deflect the stillness by preparing another medicine for Bhanumati, one that the Vaidya had instructed her to take after she had her rest.

'Lochini'- Bhanumati called her handmaiden, who had stayed the night with Parashvi, in her care. -'Please instruct a messenger to send word to Pragjyotisha.'

Parashvi's hand stopped.

'Pragjyotisha?' - her brows crinkled.

Was she thinking of returning to her father?

'Ma'- Bhanumati began, answering the question that had arisen in Parashvi's gesture, -'I wouldn't want my children to be brought up here, after last night.'

She wasn't being unreasonable, Parashvi knew. But children of the heir apparent being under someone else's care, and that too begotten from the Prince's only wife, was unheard of.

But, there were a lot of things that had been unheard of, till last night. But somehow, convolutions in various codes condoned them.

And, this was something no maneuver in any law would sanction. A woman belonged to her husband after her wedding, like she were an inseparable attachment to his being.

Inseparable yet detachable at his convenience.

Lochini got up, uncertainty fraught in every move she made.

'Am I unclear in any manner?' Bhanumati spoke, a formidable firmness characterizing her still weak tone.

'The Crown Prince is still outside.' Lochini mumbled.

'He hasn't left since last night.' Parashvi finished. 'He has been very perturbed by your-'

-'If you're asking me to meet him,'- Bhanumati broke in, mid-sentence, -'he's the last person I would want to come anywhere near me.'

She was speaking as if Duryodhan's presence was an abomination.

'He has been worried.' Parashvi spoke.

'His concern is not a privilege, Ma.' Bhanumati clarified.

How badly had she been hurt. The man she'd loved unconditionally, was now denied even a customary presence while she was convalescing.

'You cannot stay away from him, Bhanu.' Parashvi tried to reason with her. 'He wouldn't allow it.'

'Do you think his consideration would matter anymore, to me?' came her protest.

'Bhanu!'- Parashvi put hand on her shoulder.

No one could understand the state she was in. Her acrimony towards her beloved, was more than just a consequence of Draupadi's disrobing. The faith that she had on him was her pride.

Betrayal was tolerable, but her Kshatriya upbringing couldn't take the burden of her wounded pride.

He was Shankarshana's favourite disciple, did that hold no importance to his conduct?

He called himself a warrior. Was this how warriors avenged their detriment?

He had insulted every decoration to his being.

He had slain her trust and slaughtered her pride.

How could she forgive him?

How?

'I've been a fool, Ma.' her voice quivered. 'How could I not see past him?!'

She let out a faint sob.

'Trust is not folly, my child.'- Parashvi consoled her -'Trust is sacred. But people undermine its worth.' she concluded, in a manner of regret.

Had Draupadi not trusted Yudhishthir? How had he repaid her?

'I cannot stay with him.' she spoke, grievously, yet with a definite note of finality ringing in her voice.

'You don't have to.' Parashvi said. 'You could choose to stay with me.'

Bhanumati looked at her with gratitude.

'But,'- she continued, -'Our comforts shall be very frugal, compared to what you're accustomed to, and-'

'Peace is never frugal, Ma.' she interrupted.

Both of smiled. They had reached some state of reconciliation within themselves.

Even though it wasn't exactly relief. Yet it was good enough.

Relief was only an aspiration.

An inaccessible aspiration.

***

Notes: 

1. This is purely a work of fiction. And I've tried to remain true to the characters to the maximum possible extent. Any flaws in their depiction are open to be pointed out, because that would only benefit the story. :)

2. SumitBasak I sincerely hope this addresses the point you'd raised, about certain representations in the story. I hope this is capable enough to address any loose ends that would have remained. And THANK YOU, for coming across! 

3. The super ugly picspam above as you might have already known has been made by:

ME!!!!!!!!! :DDD

So, you could holler at me here, or where this is drafted, which is:

heyifinallyhaveablog.tumblr.com

and/or

likhaavatein.tumblr.com

4. Sugarcandy6 TAKE A COLOSSAL BOW FOR THE SEXY NEW COVER, AND FOR BEING MY SAVING GRACE FROM BEING AN OTP PROTOCOL BREAKER. The fact that it is almost faceless, saves me from being that, and getting a SUPER COVER AS WELL, And an advance birthday present! SO:

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SO here, again it is!!!!!!!! Before I go off to sleep!!!!! Another nifty of an update!!!!!!!! Please, try allowing us the privilege of your sight, and if you find us worthy, do give us a gold star on our homework!!!!!!!!!!! And if you find us worthy of even the slightest consideration of a place on your dashboard, we'll be honoured. Do comment, criticise, shout, scream, and do whatever you please here!!!!!!!!!!

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*sends glitter and hearts*