'Still here?' someone asked him.

He had been waiting outside his chamber for the whole night. From what he'd heard, she would possibly regain her consciousness in the morning.

And it was the morning that he'd been waiting for.

Duryodhan had somehow got himself through the night. Of course, he in his tenure as Crown Prince, had had a lot of sleepless nights, a considerable portion of which was not remotely attributed to his cousins. He had far more exhausting exertions to occupy him.

But last night was distinctly different.

The weight of a weary mind, and a niggling conscience far outweighed the strain that a heavy mace could put on him. Though his posture was still erect, yet an invisible force seemed to sag his shoulders, for every moment that passed without seeing her.

Vasusen looked like he had aged a decade in a night. He too had a distinct frailty to his apparently erect constitution.

Duryodhan nodded in the affirmative.

'How is she?' Vasusen asked.

Duryodhan's breath hitched.

How is she supposed to be?, he asked himself.

Her meek health was not the sole cause of his concern. There were reasons of a considerably higher weightage that stood towering over him.

Those conclusions didn't need to be explicitly stated.

'She had to know.' Vasusen said. 'How long could we have kept this from her?'

Even his throat tightened. He felt that faint stench of Panchali's blood lying in a rusty shade, mingled with a distinct lotus fragrance wander into his nostrils.

That ghost of that bangle came back.

His own words impaled him, worse than the most poisonous of arrows. No, he could full well bear the incisions they made on him, for his armour never let them cause the minutest trace of an injury to his hardened frame. Those tactics of warfare, that he had garnered from the Rama of the Ax, himself, made him impregnable to the most perilous of attacks.

But none of those preternatural attributes made his conscience immune to the gash that guilt left on him.

Duryodhan wasn't having a time that was any easier. Bhanumati's absence, caused him to be unnaturally disturbed.

Just one glimpse of her, he kept wishing.

He would explain how necessary it was. How none of it meant anything. How fate had compulsed him to act thus.

She would understand, wouldn't she?

That was a faint reconciliation that he tried to soothe himself with. But he seriously doubted its validity.

Bhanumati's handmaiden exited the chamber, to run an errand for the Princess.

'How is she?'- Duryodhan rushed to her, panting, as he tried to get past the door, that momentarily opened.

Lochini gulped.

'The Princess is recovering, Your Highness.' she said, almost blocking the entrance.

Duryodhan glared at her. To vent his rising temper on a maid was the last thing he wanted.

'Move away!' he growled, his voice hid no trace of the threat that was meant for her to consider.

'Let's not rush into things.' Vasusen, alarmingly put his hand on his shoulder to control his fuming anger. Now was just not the time for such excesses.

'That'- he growled once more, thunder rumbling in his voice, -'is my wife!'

How dare she deny me!, he thought.

Lochini stood unmoving. Truly, this was far more than her obeisance to her mistress. It was far more than pity for that poor woman who she had seen convulsing in her delirium.

It was the empathy that found its way from one woman to another, when another of her own clan was grieved.

'Let him in.' Someone said, clearly, yet weakly.

***

It took her the rest of her solidarity to let him face her.

That benighted monster of a man.

That despicable loathsome creature, who was an insult to their highly illustrious clan.

That demonic being, who she loved.

That trait of love being unreasonable, incomprehensible, and indispensable, was such a curse, when its blissful enchantment was lifted.

When its very foundation was wrecked to pieces.

And those shrapnels showed no mercy to the heart that had housed such a futile affection. They kept thrusting themselves anew, every moment that the corporeal being inhaled and exhaled. The abrasions they caused weren't tangible to be healed.

And the source of the catastrophe stood towering in front of her.

One who had torn her heart asunder.

He stood in front of her, his frame towering over her convalescing one, as she reclined on the bed stead.

She might have been infirm, yet her eyes were at their strongest.

And clearest in what they conveyed.

It was surprising that those very dove-like eyes, that warmed him to comfort. The exact same pair of eyes, that healed him of all his exertions, now stood scathing him with the same magnitude of might as the softness they'd once borne.

Yet, she hadn't posed a single question. Not one that he was expecting.

This was the first time that he flawed in his reading of her.

The absence of her questions was bothering him.

'I would have told you.'- he began, unsure of where this attempt would head to.

She didn't answer him.

Her silent protest was really difficult for him to avert.

Parashvi had left the moment Duryodhan had entered. Bhanumati was alone with him.

She didn't want any explanations from him. All she wanted to know was,-

-How did he hold himself.

'Say something, Bhanu!'- he roughly blurted.

'What do you want me to say?' she spoke at last.

' They had to know their place. And war was no way.'-

-'A likely excuse.' Duryodhan thought he'd heard her snort in contempt.

-'You do not understand. War is not child's play. It is not as convenient as you might think.'-

-'If you'd cared for what we'd thought,'- she calmly began, -'you would have stayed away from them.'

He fell silent.

'So you're implying,'- he began, yet again, -'that I should have relinquished my right to my land?!'

'It was yours once, Prince.'- she spoke, softly and strongly, -'yet you did nothing to cement your claim on it.'-

Aware of the fact that she was incensing him further, she spoke-

-'It was only after they prospered it, by dint of their own merit, that it caught your attention.'

He clenched his fist.

How dare she?, he soliloquised.

'They humiliated me!'- he spoke, his voice a growl, -'Those wretched pieces of vermin'-

-'You earned your humiliation by virtue of your own envy. Your own pride earned you your humiliation.'

He had begun marvelling himself at how he was keeping his anger at bay. Had it been anyone else, he would have had his own methods to deal with these arguments.

'Did you expect me to take everything lying down?' he asked.

'You still do not understand, do you?'- Bhanumati was calmly interjecting his rising defiance, -'you had your share of inheritance, you own kingdom, and they had their share. No one had to forgo anything-'

-'I had to forgo a part of my land, to those who do not have any rights whatsoever! ' he contested.

'And now,'- she spoke relentlessly, -'you've forgone the remnants of your honour.'

Duryodhan smirked arrogantly, as if her statement was expected.

'So,' he said, -'my beloved Queen, do you think I'm solely responsible?'

No-, she whispered to herself, -but you're equally responsible as the one who pledged her.

'Tell me, love'- Duryodhan began questioning her, -'Is my saintly cousin blameless? '

'Blaming him doesn't dilute your responsibility.' Bhanumati answered. -'Nor does it condone the silence of the others, while she questioned her position in court.'

'Very fair,'- he said, -'then you shouldn't expect me to explain myself.'

That severe lack of remorse in his gait was what pricked her, yet again.

Is it that trivial for them?, she thought, -a woman of their own family being molested in court stood nowhere when it came to their adherence, both egotistical and ethical?

'What have you thought, Bhanu?' Duryodhan calmly asked her, -'I know you despise me. And now there's probably no way in which your hatred towards me can be waned-'

-'Call it my infirmity, Arya'- her voice was heavy, -'but I'm incapable of harbouring that degree of animosity towards you, despite all my misgivings.'

She didn't hate him still, he repeated the words to himself.

He found it to be oddly reassuring.

'And now,'- her weary voice interrupted his thoughts, -my love for you is tainted.'

Tainted?!, it surprised him mildly. He was expecting her to castigate him, and a silent allusion of a strong opposition was all he had received.

Did she not love him anymore?

Somehow, she still couldn't harbour the spite that she would have wanted to feel for him.

'It can always go back to what it was'- he seated himself, on the bed, facing her, -'None of this is of your concern, not even in the slightest.'

'What involves your conscience, is my concern, Arya.'

A drop of a tear rose in her eyes. Duryodhan's hand involuntarily found its way to her cheek, to wipe it away before it stained her skin.

She moved away, averting his touch.

Tainted indeed, he thought.

She couldn't love him like she'd loved him before.

That was difficult to bear. This distance from her was not something he was used to.

He kept looking at her averted eyes for a long time. There was a long moment of a silence again. A silence that spoke of the pain she'd been subjected to.

This wasn't a silence that would go away that easily. This was no barrier that his mighty thews could shatter.

She was best left to her own devices.

'Take rest, my love.' he said softly, before he got up to leave.

His footfalls neared the colossal door of the chamber. Her sobs began gathering their tears to vent them once he exited.

She heard a deep breath release itself, as a pair of dark, brooding eyes, devoid of any malice, and remorse cast a long glance at her, as if willing her eyes to meet those eyes, just once.

She couldn't allow those eyes to weaken her resolve of separation. Her conscience wouldn't allow that.

Not so soon.

Not now.

'Take care of yourself, Bhanu.' his voice spoke, while his eyes goaded her to look at him once.

But she was stronger than that.

She wasn't the naïve girl he had married. Not anymore.

Her tears flowed freely when their chamber was devoid of his presence.

Those tears would strengthen her further, for the years to come.

***

Notes: 

1. This is entirely a work of fiction based on the author's perception. I have tried my best to remain true to all the characters. Please feel free to point out any flaws this might have. :)

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