"Woo ....... Ummm ........ Karan " after wearing her clothes Alisha came out of the room and dared to talk with him . Her gaze was on the floor , she was scared and guilty but still satisfied with whatever she had done .

"Just get out " he was quite angry and she flinched at his tone . It was first time he showed anger.

"Just listen to me once" she again tried her luck .

"Get outtt " this time Nandini also flinched at his tone , she never saw him this much angry even she never saw him getting angry. Having no other option Alisha left from there , she will talk with him later .

"Karan what happened in the past? ..... Why u said those things to him " Nandini followed him behind when he went to homebar in the living room .

"Nandini, not now ....... I am literally a mess " he tried not to sound irritated with her .

"So I am ...... And now u have already dragged me in ur family matter then I want to know whole truth " she understood his situation but she is also messed up with everything still she hold her pain back to know the truth.

"Karan" she asked timidly when he didn't replied . She also sat on the chair beside him.

"U want drink?" He asked sliding a glass towards her .

"At least one of us should be sane today " she pushed that glass back.

"We three were the siblings ..... We had parents .... We had money and all other luxurious things but we never had a normal family ...... My father nd mother used to fight every now and then, but still they were in limit ...... Father always had issues with Manik , idk why but he was always different with Manik ..... He used to scold him or punished him for very small small things and Manik was rebellious , he used to get angry and to vent out that anger he used to do the things which any sane child won't do"

"When in the childhood father taught me swimming I was very scared but Manik used to be so excited ...... Though father never taught him but eventually he learnt and became better swimmer for his age ...... Miya she was cute, little devil , and she always wanted to do the things which Manik will do ...... Father always tried to keep her away from Manik but she is used get bored with me , because I was reserved nd scared kid ..... She always used to find ways to be with her Manik bhai ...... She also learnt swimming at the age of 4 ..... She was better than me but she wasn't best in swimming like Manik "

"They both used to love water bodies and that time we were enjoying holidays on our beach house ...... So she forced Manik to take her to beach , he denied but finally accepted her request ...... I don't know what exactly happened there , no one knows except Manik ...... But he returned home alone , that day it was raining and she got lost in the deep ocean...... Father went mad and in anger he hitted Manik with his belt and he just screamed and screamed loudly for help but none helped him ..... Literally blood came out of his small body and father stopped ..... We all were in our grief so no one cared for him ...... Father was cabinet minister that time so he covered the case..... After that mom nd dad started fighting on daily basis ...... I used to get scared and Manik went in depression he never came out of his room after that day ..... My father filled my ears saying Manik will hurt me too nd I got scared ..... He sent me away to my aunt's house in New York ...... And exactly after a year on Miya's death anniversary I was informed that my mother died in fire and Manik was blamed for that ...... He was on every news channel , he was labelled as murderer and psycho child who killed his mother and stab knife in his father's abdomen in anger ..... He wasn't 18 so police sent him to remand home ..... This time father didn't saved Manik but covered the case by blaming him otherwise police must have taken him in custody for the enquiry of incident" he gulped down whole beer bottle at once.

"What actually happened there ? " Nandini asked , whatever he told was so much for her to take but still she was hoping on him not to be murderer .

"My father never allowed me to come to India not even for my mother's funeral ..... In fact no one was there to perform last rituals for her , Manik was sent to remand home , father was admitted in hospital and I was in New York ..... So police did that "

"Last year I came here in India , I went to Punjab at my own house ...... Father was their he treated me with love and care , whenever I used to ask him about Manik , he always told me that Manik never came home , he doesn't want to be with us and he is murderer so I should stay away from him ....... I tried finding him in Punjab but I couldn't ....... So after few months at one night I came to home and saw my father enjoying with a woman she must be 30 ...... This scene wasn't new for me but still I felt disgusted ..... My father was cabinet minister but after mother died he became chief minister in next election , he gain immense sympathy nd to maintain his good image he never married and told people he is their servent , he don't want distraction in his services and that worked on people too ,they started praising him...... When that women asked how many days I will stay with him to which he replied few days or months , and then she suddenly asked 'U have another son too , where is he now?' after hearing that question he went silent and I also stood there hiding myself from them . He was drunk so he spoke the truth.

"Last time I heard that little bastard is in Mumbai ..... U know when he turned 18 and remand home was about to release him that day media was very much active because he was my son ...... So before that I went there secretly and told him to leave punjab and never show his face to us ..... He was very silent he just gave me one silent look nd said nothing ...... Obviously he was angry and hurt as his mother died , that was accident because we were fighting nd I pushed her in fire and in defence she shoved knife in my stomach but I putted all the blame on him ...... I was cabinet minister and already I lost my family so I didn't want to lose my name nd fame ..... So I played the victim role and he was sent to prison ..... Even he deserved that because of him my daughter died , because of him my son was sent away and because of him we had fight nd his mother died ....... That filthy piece of shit is the reason why my family screwed up " he was drunk so he accepted all his sin and he was having proud smile on his face because he made Manik suffer.

"Then I jumped into the matter he was shocked after seeing me there because he thought I am out with my friends . We both argued so much and eventually I lost my father too , not practically but I lost the all respect for that man. I break all the ties with him and came here to find Manik ..... I found him in a month but he was completely different Manik , he pushed me away and never let me in ..... But I tried hard because I wanted to mend the mistakes which I haven't committed , I wanted my brother back but he grew so distant that he didn't cared at all ...... I was so persistent that he gave me chance to be his p.a. ..... Though he treated me like a stranger and never accepted me as his brother in front of others but I was happy to be with him ...... We are each other's only family so I wanted us to survive and stay together ...... He never discussed anything about our past , he behaved as if nothing happened and when I tried....... Nd now I lost that brother too " karan cried at the end and even she had tears in her eyes. All the past and recent happenings made him lose control over his emotions.

"It's okay ..... Shh" she gave him friendly hug. No matter how strong anyone behaves but at the end everyone has their weak point and for both the brothers their broken family was their weak point.

"I am sorry Nandini , I dragged u in our family matter ..... But I did this for my mother and sister ...... U lost ur job , I am sry ...... I am ready to take responsibility of it " he accepted his faults and said sry after breaking the hug .

"U don't need to ..... I know I am at fault too , so let it be ..... I will find a way ...... In fact I felt sorry for you ,everyone from ur family suffered and not because of Manik but because of ur parents ..... And ur father is real monster in Manik's life , now I know how much broken that child must be " pain was reflecting from her eyes when she spoke about Manik.

"He never felt loved and wanted " he said that to himself but she heard it and couldn't say anything to him. His phone beeped with a msg . It was msg from Alisha she asked him to meet her, at least for once let her explain , he agreed to that because he thought they need closure . He offered a ride to Nandini because Manik went away taking his car.

......................||

"Diyaa " as soon as Diya opened the door Nandini three herself on Diya ,and cried her heart out . Diya didn't knew what happened but she let her cry and kept caressing her back . After few minutes Nandini calmed down and told everything to Diya.

Diya just let her speak whatever she was feeling , she didn't judged her feelings, she just comforted Nandini because that was a need of situation. And friends are the place where u can share anything without fear of being judged.

After two hours they had their lunch in Diya's room and Nandini was sleeping by keeping her head on Diya's lap , her head was aching due to all the happenings in her life and Diya was giving her massage. Then Nandini's phone rang .

"Hello Nandini .....What happened to Manik ? " Sandesh asked in fear dripping voice over the call .

"What do u mean ?" She got panicked and asked rapidly .

"He just reached home ...... Bonet of his car is harshly smashed and he is highly drunk ..... He was driving irrationally and even his steps were fumbling ..... He didn't let us come near him " whatever he described that scared her and she got up from bed hurriedly .

"He must have taken drugs or something .... Because he never gets drunk easily " she said instantly and started grabbing her things , while Diya stopped her by holding her hand.

"But what happened to him suddenly ? ...... He was okay in the morning, even he looked little bit happy " this question once again stabbed her heart , she also remembered small playful smile on his face in the morning.

"It's not time to explain ..... Just keep an eye on him " she said and disconnected the call immediately . She started going out of the room .

"What ? ..... Where ? " Diya stopped her by holding her purse.

"Sandesh called me ...... Manik is in very bad condition , his car is broken too " Diya just gawked at her , how this girl forgot her pain within a second .

"How u can be like this ? ...... Just now , some time back u were crying ..... U was hurt nd now ready to go back to the person who is the reason behind ur pain ?" she questioned her .

"Let's just say my pain doesn't need pampering ..... I don't have time to mourn over it and entirely blame him for everything " she just said the truth .

"No need of going ..... Call his brother or p.a. ...... They are there to care for him ..... U r not his driver anymore" Diya didn't liked the idea of Nandini going there.

She called Abhimanyu first but he didn't picked her call then she called Karan but when he received it , he was totally out of senses and was highly drunk , she assumed something might have happened between him nd Alisha.

"Sorry Diya I have to go " this angered Diya more , she always used to dislike Manik strongly and after she saw how Nandini was crying hysterically in the afternoon it broke her heart too . She don't want Nandini to get more hurt .

"Nandini u don't need to ..... Think about urself too , how many times u r going to hurt urself ?" grabbing her shoulders Diya asked calmly but Nandini was determined .

"I don't think so love exists for a person who doesn't see beyond his / her own self ..... Self love is good but loving someone more than own self is not crime" Nandini replied .

"And when nothing and no one mattered other than that lover then it's a blind love " Diya said whatever she was feeling.

"He doesn't deserve you ..... U r way far from him ...... Why can't you get it ? ...... He is troublemaker ..... He makes everyone suffer for his mistakes " she added further in same pleading yet frustrated tone .

"Really? ...... How easily u can blame him for whatever happened ? ..... Don't ur heart pains for him....... All the time , if he do something or others do something , he is the one who gets to be blamed .... Why? " Her eyes got filled with tears and she gulped her saliva .

"Because he does the things which makes him siner " Diya said.

"Tell me why everyone is blaming him today ? ...... I agree me nd Karan , we both did that with good intentions but none of us ever tried to understand him or his view on it ....... For god's sake they both were his families too , he was tagged as their murderer that too at very early age and even he was punished for that ..... Don't u think he might have some reasons for not doing that since ages , may be it scares him or it can be anything...... But we just assumed it's better for him ....... And about his sleeping with Alisha then also he is not only person to be blamed ...... In fact he was always like this but she , Alisha was Karan's girlfriend ..... Wasn't she supposed to love Karan that much to not cheat on him ..... She always wanted Manik but everyone blamed him nd only him , why? ...... And he is the one who don't pretend things..... Whatever he is , he is real to us " she cried again in between her talks .

"How u can defend him ? ....... Ur love for him is becoming toxic for u " again she pointed finger at her love.

"I am stating the fact , Diya ....... He is a siner I accept that but others are also not saints ...... And how my love can be toxic ? ...... When love is not bounded by anything then how it can be toxic ...... It's not needed to be labelled with such names ...... Love is love .... Selfish nd selfless at a times ....... Pure and untouched with dirt ...... Don't spoil it by giving names ..... Love is not toxic but people are ...... Love doesn't needs to be judged ..... I love him and yes my heart breaks zillions time when I see him in pain ..... When I see him struggling to trust others ..... When I see him finding pain motivating to a live a life" she became advocate of her love.

"Nandini ur love is pure but he doesn't deserve that " again she tried to make her understand and here Nandini is having hard time to make her understand .

"He is not product and I am not customer to buy him after knowing his features...... My love is my personal problem and not his ..... It's one sided ...... I don't know what he deserves or what he does ...... But let me be loyal to my love ..... I don't know how people can see their loved ones in pain .....Sry but I don't have strength to see him vulnerable nd broken " she protected her love from being judged.

"So u r going to hurt urself every fucking time , whenever he is vulnerable?" Diya was also worried for Nandini.

"I have fallen in love with his vulnerability yrs ago ...... The moment I have seen him being weak and helpless at that moment I have cared for his life more than mine ..... And that was the first time I have ever felt for someone ...... His doings hurts me , disgusts me but I never regretted loving him ...... Something in him holds my love " she also remembered the day when she fell in love with him .

"U r talking bullshit ..... U r sounding like u r his devotee and u don't have self respect at all ..... Where is feminist in you?" Now Nandini understood , Diya is stuck on this feminism part , which is stopping her from understanding Nandini's view .

"U know that how self respect is important to me ...... Loving someone senselessly, it doesn't makes me less of a girl ...... And what is feminism ? , To never put anyone ahead of u ? ...... Never love anyone other than ur own self ? ...... Sleeping with others just because he is doing that nd to show others that I am strong woman ...... Doing all the things which men can do ...... But I ask what is the need of feminism or menism ?...... At the first we all are humans ..... Can't we live like that ? .... Why can't one person respects nd treats other person equally for their choices irrespective of any gender ?...... What's the need of doing things to prove ourselves ? ..... Can't we do whatever we feel like doing then be it anything ...... And why to do everything which men can do , just to prove we are not less ? ...... God has made women's to do the things which men can't do , can't we cherish those special abilities of us ? ...... Can't we treat person differently, and with respect for his or her real character ? ...... Come out of such things which seperates human from men or women ...... I support humanity and I know at which extent he can go so let me go , at least for the sake of humanity ?" For the last time very clearly and sternly she pleaded .

"I can never stop you " she uttered those words and Nandini left her house but not before giving her quick hug.

In the world of selfish people she loved him selflessly .

.......................||

As soon as drizzling of rain turned into heavy downpour Sahil and Sandesh went into their shelter outside the mansion . And inside the mansion Manik managed to climbed stairs all by himself and also took three bottles of alcohol with him .

He poured the alcohol on the floor of his room and dropped the lightning lighter on the floor.

"Dad please don't harm my mom" little Manik jumped into their fight and held his father's legs , stopping him from hitting Neyonika because he was very angry .

"U little bastard " he hit Manik's head with the buckle of belt, metal hit his head and he became unconscious , he didn't completely lost his senses but lost his ability to fight against his father .

"What are you doing Neyonika ? ..... Stop it " when he looked at Neyonika she was pouring Kerosene all over her body , he don't know where she found kerosene . She was tired of this life where her marriage is toxic, her husband is monster and she can't take divorce too because he is bloody politician who will not let her spoil his image.

"I am sick of u and ur tortures " he pulled her out of the kitchen ignoring her protest. He never wanted her to die.

"Even I am done with u ..... But don't die , u r my wife ..... I have done so much for next election don't spoil it for me " he warned her but today she was tired of everything . She pushed him and grab knife from dinning table.

"U have ruined all my life " she screamed and moved back from him .

"U have ruined mine too by ur lies and games .... Because of u I am like this " he too accused her .

"I haven't lied to you about anything and u know that too " she screamed and cried .

"Still my life is wasted ..... Even my own kids are not with me and reason is ur devil son ..... He snatched their happiness " he said in agony .

"He didn't but ur indifference with him did that ..... U didn't even cared he was just a mere child , u beat him till he was bleeding ..... U r monster " she moved back and when she realised she can't die leaving her Manik behind alone with this bastard that was the time he pushed her back in the anger , her leg hit the Havan Kund and in reflex she shoved knife in his abdomen . She was already drenched with kerosene so fire engulfed her within seconds , her scream got unbearable and painful .

Shrikant with wound on his stomach came to her and even Manik somehow managed to reach her , he can't see his mother dieing .

"Mommmm" Manik was crying he ran towards her , the intensity of fire was increasing which scared Shrikant nd he moved back.

"Mom ..... Mom " he was trying hard to save her but his little hands got burnt and Shrikant did nothing.

She was rolling on the floor with unbearable pain . Her wailing became louder and louder , she pleaded for her death so she won't feel the pain and after few minutes her voice stopped . She left the world leaving her son behind.

"Mom ..... Mom " Manik looked around but he didn't find his mother but only the fire which he has created . He wasn't scared of it today because he was determined to finish that fear forever with him. Today he was alone in that fire .

....................||

"Where is he ? " She came running to the mansion . Whole city was getting drenched in the rainwater but that doesn't stopped her . After paying to autorickshaw driver she came inside the mansion . In the morning she parked her car here only so she has to take auto .

"Inside the mansion " Sahil replied and she ran inside they too followed her .

Her heartbeats were going crazy with the darkness around whole mansion , there wasn't a single source of light in whole mansion . With a heavy heart she came upstairs .

The warmth of fire literally burnt her heart when she saw his room lit with a fire and he was inside the washroom . Door of washroom was opened , the streams of water was coming out of it which scared her more and fear engulfed her heart .

"Bhai see today it's raining " she liked rain nd all other water bodies . Both brother and sister were fond of water.

"Miya don't go far .... Play from here , u r small ..... Come to me " Manik scolded her but she showed him tongue and ran .

"U little devil ..... Come here " he said softly.

"Princess I will show u real unicorn if u stop there .... Now " she was quite far away from him , still she stopped after hearing his deal .

"Pinky promise ?" She asked innocently and he nodded his head .

He ran towards her , she happily jumped and even she started running into his arms but before that a strong wave of sea captured her .

"Bhaiii " was the last word he heard from her . The wave was so powerful and heightened that within seconds she disappeared from his eyes . The depth of sea was more for him too still he searched for her in that water . But found nothing other than lifetime guilt and immense pain .

"Miyaaa"

"Manikkkkk" Nandini came inside in the washroom only to see his attempt of drowning himself in the water . He was laying inside the bathtub water was cascading down from the bathtub due overflow as Manik didn't turned off the tap .

He was scared of water too and he never used his bathtubs but today he wanted to finish every fear of him including darkness nd fire too . He also wanted to get vanish from the earth. He was very high on emotions as well as on drug and alcohol that he was out of senses .

"Manik come out of it " she ran towards bathtub and tried to bring him out. He heard her voice but didn't make a move . She closed all the taps and shower to stop running water. Outside the washroom Sahil and Sandesh were using fire extinguisher to stop the fire , otherwise whole mansion can turn into ashes . With their help she could make it up to washroom during that time ,the area near her waist also got burnt but she didn't paid attention to that.

Even after applying all her force he didn't moved a bit then she climbed inside the bathtub and removed drain stopper so that water would flow into drainage.

"Why u r here Nandini ? " His voice was so lost and low as if he doesn't have stamina to even talk and he is tired of life.

"For u " she also settled herself in that tub. Their arrangement was uncomfortable but she adjusted herself in that small space. He was still laying and she settled between his legs in very small space .

"Don't care for me too much ...... I don't deserve it " he said looking in her longing eyes.

"U can't decide that for me " she smiled through her tears and he tilted his body towards her.

"Don't be stupid ..... Leave or else I will hurt u " he said and wiped her tears she held his hands back .

"U have already given me pain and so much of grief that it hurts me beyond my limits of bearing ..... Still everytime I see u in pain or struggling to live or fighting with ur inner demons it gets hard for me to leave nd not embrace u in me and comfort you till the time it's gone" holding his hand over her cheeks she cried and cried helplessly .

"Why?" He again asked being perplexed .

" I don't know why , but this web of feelings is fucking my life as well as my heart " her answer made him numb.

"The more depth ur feelings will explore u will get drowned into it and it's like a deep ocean which will consume u ..... All of u in a way u will loose ur life in that depth of sea " .

"I am a swimmer Manik ".

"Sometimes divers too lost their lives in sea".

"Be it ..... I am not leaving u till the time u reach at shore from where u will be saved, to live a life" this time she cupped his face and looking into his eyes she spoke.

"I don't deserve to live ...... Leave me and let me finish this unwanted , life consuming pain at once " he pushed her hands away and looked around to see the bathtub is getting empty . He again turned on the tap .

"Go Nandini before u lose ur life because of me ...... U r the only person in my life whom I don't want to hurt "

"Then don't hurt me ..... Seeing u hopeless about life hurts me ...... So Let me save you "

"This life of mine is never ending dark night and there won't be any morning to this life "

"Then I will be ur morning ..... Let me be "

"U don't wish to save a monster who will make u regret the moment u chose to save him"

"Then I will live with a regret but can't live in a guilt of not saving u "

"What u want Nandini ? ...... Go away ...... U r not for me, don't spoil ur life ..... Go away ..... Go away " he cried loudly. For the first time in her life she saw him crying and even he cried after years.

She sat on her knees and engulfed him in her , he cried in her embrace and she too shared his tears . He snuggled more and more into her stomach trying to find comfort and she let him feel protected though his touch on her burning wound was hurting her more than anything.

"Nandini I didn't killed them ..... I haven't ...... I am not a murderer , Nandini ...... I am not " he sniffed on her stomach, she bent down a little more and breaking the hug she made him face her.

"U r not " she pressed her lips on his forehead. For the first time someone comforted him about those deaths .

She felt him losing his control and his eyelids started closing because of the drugs nd alcohol . He was feeling dizzy .

"Come we will go outside " she made him walk out of washroom and brought him near bed . She made him sleep on it , when she was inside both Sahil nd Sandesh left because they knew she will handle him . His bed wasn't in good condition still it was better for sleeping .

"Don't leave me like everyone ...... I know because of my bad fate almighty always snatches the people for whom I care " he said holding her hands and she sat beside him .

"Shhh ...... Nothing is going to happen ..... U sleep " he pulled her beside him . She also layed down next to him and caressed his head . They both were wet but none of them was in sane mindset to think rationally , they were lost in his darkness.

"Please fight with my fate because I don't want live alone anymore " these were his last words he mumbled on her neck and slept.

................End ...............||

If you found any mistake let me know .

How was the chapter?

................ Aish ❣️..................