It was one of those nights again and it happened on our honeymoon. Over the years, I've been going through treatments to hopefully stop my insomnia with some luck. Some nights I can't sleep and am left to suffer a sleepless night. The hotel room Hanji and I are sleeping in had a view of the ocean. A dark, inky blackness like obsidian corrupted what was a beautiful, sparkling sapphire-blue sea. 

With a heavy sigh, I leaned over the balcony, tasting the sea salt in the wind, and felt the coolness of the night. Hanji's soft snores filled the silence, and I ignored them. The days after marriage didn't feel any different than our dating life. Well, we were planning on moving into a house. An argument erupted when we wrote down where we would like to settle down and raise some kids. Hanji wanted to be close to the city for better job opportunities and I wanted to be closer to the countryside so I could start a small tea farm. Hanji argued that our children deserved to be more social with other kids and not be raised to be tea farmers. Despite living and working at a coffee shop there, I was not too fond of the idea of the city. 

"What am I going to do?"

That's a question that echoed in my head. Whenever I'm not thinking about anything, that question comes into reality. It bothered me. I never loved anyone more than Hanji. The fact I'm here says a lot about me. I looked at the metal band on my ring finger, twisting it with my opposite hand. When it came to marriage, it wasn't a dream of mine to marry a woman of my dreams. My only dream was owning a tea shop and stocking it with the highest quality tea leaves. 

"Is this the right thing?"

I asked myself aloud, hoping someone would answer me, but no one came. 

After a few deep breaths, I don't think I found my peace of mind. However, I think, no, I know our two different dreams will come together. For now, I want Hanji's life to be full of life and happiness. That is what we vowed on our wedding day. The whispers in my head said the same thing: keep her happy. If I see another tear running down her face, and it's not a sad movie, I hope I can wipe her tears away and mend her broken heart with my love.

My dream can wait. I want to have kids to raise. They are monsters, but I can train them. Hanji wants them the most. She wants to be the mother of her dreams. Endless games and teaching moments. How fitting of her. I can see our children asking her questions, and Hanji answering them with proud, gleaming eyes. Our children do not necessarily need to be geniuses, but they have to be curious about the world. At least, that's what Hanji wants.

What kind of kids do I want?

Ones that can clean up after them. Ones that can listen to me and are respectful to others. But that sort of thing can be trained and taught. You can't teach children to be geniuses, but you can teach them to be informational. That's good enough for me.

I paced around in our hotel room, making myself tea and sitting on the balcony. Since this is one of my sleepless nights, I wanted to spend the rest of this night watching the sun rising above the sea. For hours, I waited, feeling content about my married life. The quietness of this night filled the air, and I felt at peace. I'm sure this won't last until I get my tea farm. But I do need to get a new job. I think I'll work at a business. I'll learn how to manage one before creating a new one myself. Hopefully, it'll be enough. 

"Levi...?" I heard Hanji's grunts and groans as she woke up. "What are you doing this early?"

"Just watching the sunrise."

"Oh... I'll come and join you."

"Hey... Hanji...?"

"Yeah?"

I smiled, leaning back in my chair. "Let's move closer to the city. I know, I won't get my tea farm. But that can wait. Right now, let's do our best to create a better life for our kids. I know we're not expecting any soon unless you have something to say. But... let's do it. Hanji... I want to be a father."

"Well..." Hanji chuckled as I heard footsteps slowly making their way toward me. "We can make that arrangement, right?"