Chapter 32- This is the New Year

A great big world

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Being in a plane with Shawn next to me felt like a deja-vu.

In the last few days I got really nostalgic about things. I cried a lot, when Shawn wasn't there. I was still so scared to tell him. I knew he would understand, but I feel like this is a really bad timing for him to have a baby.

With a tour coming next year and so many exciting changes it would just hold him back.

"Hey", Shawn woke up next to me and grabbed my hand.

He had fallen asleep immediately when he sat down in the plane seat while boarding. According to Brian and his band members it always happened like that. So I was surprised to see him awake.

I pulled my headphones off my head and looked at him: "What were you thinking about?", he asked me and laid his head on my shoulder.

"Just how excited I am to spend new years in New York with you.", I smiled at him. Now that I told Karen it was easier for me. Mentally. It was easier for me to smile now, because I knew that Karen was fine with it.

I gently kissed Shawns hair, when a young girl suddenly approached us.

"Hi. Can I have an autograph please?", Shawn raised his head and started signing something when suddenly the girl leaned over to me.

"You want me to sign this?", I asked her confused but took the paper and the pen.

"Sure. You're a star now. I have a fanpage for you."

I was absolutely speechless. I signed the paper for her and thanked her for... well, I didn't quite know. Caring about me maybe?

"Well, that was sweet.", Shawn said after she walked back to her seat and he laid down to put his head in my lap.

Instead of cuddling into my stomach though, he frowned and got up again to look at me.

"Did you work out a lot recently?", he asked, looking at my belly and my heart started racing.

I shook my head, unable to speak and he seemed to buy it. He shrugged and laid back down.

Phew, that was close.




"Don't forget your jacket. It's freezing.", I said. I was waiting on the hotel couch for him for like 10 minutes now. He has such an insane 'beauty ritual', it took him like 1 hour to get ready. He had about 20 hair products and he moisturized more than me. But, I mean, as long as he looked like that, I didn't mind at all.

It took me 30 minutes in the bathroom, including showering and blow-drying my hair. I mean, my hair was cut in a shoulder length bob and was very easy to handle.

I wore a thick coat, because it was freezing in New York. And I bought him a matching one, cause I thought it was cute.

"Alright, I'm done.", He said stepping out of the bathroom. He looked hot as ever. He was wearing a black turtleneck, and black pants with his boots. His hair was curly, but slicked back.

He looked so hot, I seriously considered cancelling our plans and just spend new years eve making out. Maybe I was hormonal, but it took me huge effort to not rip my clothes off and throw myself on him.

"Then lets go.", I walked towards him, put a black scarf around his neck and with that pulled him down for a deep kiss.

His hands immediately went down my back and stayed on my ass. He gently squeezed it as he slid his tongue into my mouth, I was gently playing with the hair in the back of his neck- something I knew he loved.

He moaned a little, but gently pushed me away, before anything could go too far.

"We have a reservation.", he said, heavy breathing and when I looked into his eyes I saw that his pupils were dilated and his cheeks were red.

"We should go.", I agreed but as I tried to step away from hin he pulled me into a kiss once more, this time very soft and very sweet, making my heart flutter.

"Alright, lets go.", he grabbed his coat and his hat and we left the apartment.




"Wow, this really is a VIP party.", I said after we arrived at the party and Shawn just introduced me to Rita Ora and Dua Lipa and now we were making our way to the bar, where Taylor Swift talked with Camila Cabello.

They both looked amazing and when they saw Shawn they left the bar for a second to walk towards us and hug him.

"Hey guys. This is my girlfriend.", he said as they turned to me.

"Ahh, Nathalie right? Shawn told me so much about you.", Camila said and hugged me tight. I immediately liked her.

"Yah, he can't stop talking about you. You really turned his head.", Taylor said as well and hugged me.

"Hi, it's so nice to meet you guys. Shawn talks a lot about you too. Especially about how you help him with his music."

"Hey, I'm sure Shawn has some people he still has to say hello to. Why don't you join us at the bar?", Camila said and grabbed my hand to pull me away from Shawn.

"Hey, wait.", he said but I shrugged and started laughing, as both girls pulled me through the crowd to the bar.

"Finally, some girl time. So, Nathalie, where are you from?", Taylor asked after she ordered herself a cocktail.

"I'm from Germany. I originally came to America to go to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts to study dance, but they threw me out, so now I'm working in Toronto in a dance studio."

"Wow, sounds cool. What do you do in your job.", Camila asked and sipped on her Pina Colada.

"I choreograph music videos and live performances."

"Right, you were in the Falling all in you music video, right?", Camila said excitedly.

"Oh my god, that was you? This performance was amazing. Who thought anyone could teach Shawn dance?", Taylor laughed and threw her perfectly curled blonde hair over her shoulder, just to have it bounce back around her face.

"Well,..."

"Do you want anything to drink madam?", the bartender asked me and I declined.




Midnight got closer and our view from the 10th floor of the building opposite of times square was perfect. Taylor and Camila both temporarily left to perform, but then quickly came back to join me again.

Shawn often tried to spend some time with me, but Camila and Taylor always sent him away, which was really funny.

But now that there were only 7 minutes left and the girls left to be with their closer friends, Shawn finally approached me and hugged me tight from behind.

Again he frowned and turned me towards him: "Okay, so either you gained weight or you worked out. Because something definitely changed."

"Champagne for everyone, on the house!", the bartender said at the same time.

"I told you, everything is the same. Maybe you just haven't touched me like this in a while."

"Well, thing is, I have noticed this for a while actually. But, well, whatever. I like your body, no matter what. Just want you to know that.", he kissed my nose and then grabbed two glasses from the champagne tray.

"There you go.", he tried to give me a glass, but I shook my head: "No thanks"

"Come on, I know you don't drink, but it's new years eve."

"You don't get it. I can't drink.", I knew it was time to tell him. If it all ended tonight, then so may be it. I'd start the new year as a new person.

He looked at me with a questioning look. I think he knew what was going on, because he was grabbing his glass so tight, I thought it might burst.

"What do you mean?", his voice was shaking and he was really tense.

I looked down, couldn't look him in the eyes when I whispered: "I'm pregnant."

Silence.

And suddenly Shawn dropped the glasses, that shattered on the floor and got everyones attention, and ran past me out of the door. And I stood there in shock, not knowing what to do.


It took me a while to get out of shock and run after him, into the elevator and out of the building. There he stood. At the side of the building, watching the people on Times Square prepare themselves for the new year.

"Shawn.", I said as I carefully got closer, afraid of scaring him away.

But he didn't turn around.

"Since when do you know.", he asked me, his voice almost unrecognizable.

"Since christmas"

"Christmas...", he whispered, his hands stroking over his face.

"Does anyone else know?"

"Karen", I whispered and he took a heavy breath.

Suddenly the people started screaming: 10-9-8...

"Shawn, what should I do?"

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. I didn't ask for this!"

7-6-5...

"Do you want me to get an abortion? Because I'd do it. I can't raise a child without you. I can barely take care of myself."

Abruptly he turned around, grabbed me and pressed his lips on mine. In a surprise though I pushed him back slightly to look at him.

His eyes were glistening with tears and there was a smile on his face.

"I promise, I will take care of you and out child- forever. I love you so much."

3-2-1...

And we kissed again, sincere, both crying as the fireworks went off above our heads. He lifted me up in his arms and I slung my leg around his torso, to have him as close as possible.

Maybe it would be alright after all, I thought to myself when Shawn put me down, wiped the tears from both of our faces and pulled me closer to him to watch the fireworks, celebrating the beginning of something new.

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That was a really long chapter. I hope you liked it.

By the way, I'd really like to get to know my readers, so why don't you just leave a comment or text me in private, cause I'm really curious.

Have a great day/evening/night.

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