CH29 :If I lost you...

[Adrien's POV]

I haven't been able to look Marinette in the eye since Alya's Halloween party. It's really awkward considering we are still partners for our architecture research assignment. I've just been emailing her all of my work. It's not like I don't want to be her friend anymore—actually, I really miss her—but I just don't know how to go about things. I don't want to lead her on and I don't know whether I should talk to her about what happened or just pretend it never did. I find myself avoiding her in an effort to procrastinate dealing with the problem. I know that she probably feels the same way. We were both just caught up in the heat of the moment. Marinette would no doubt want to forget about it as well. But I still have this uncomfortable feeling that makes me want to distance myself from her...The feeling that I won't be able to forget it.

"H-Hey...Adrien?" Says a small voice.

I turn to see Marinette looking up at me timidly. As soon as I look into those large blue eyes, images from the Halloween party flash before me. I shift uneasily and avert my gaze elsewhere.

"We've gathered a lot of information for our project and I've started putting it all together." Marinette continues. "I was wondering if you maybe wanted to go to the library this lunch break to work on it?"

"Uh, no, sorry." I answer. "I've...got stuff to do."

Ah man, that sounded harsh. I didn't mean it to be, I just said it before even thinking about it. Looks like I'm still not ready to talk to Marinette.

My eyes slowly linger back to Marinette. I know I shouldn't. I beg myself not to. Of course, as soon as she is in my sight a wave of guilt surges through me. Marinette tightens her grip on her books and hangs her head unconfidently. Her bright blue eyes are now dim with sorrow. My heart aches with remorse. I've done this to her. Marinette, the bubbly, optimistic girl whose happiness is never wavered. I have put her down.

"That's okay..." Marinette says, pain stinging her voice.

I want to comfort her. I want to apologise...But I'm frozen in place. My throat closes up. I can do nothing but reach out pathetically as Marinette turns and walks away with her head down.

My heart sinks as I watch Marinette disappear into the library. I sigh in defeat and turn to walk away when all of a sudden I hear a loud cackle. I turn towards the sound to see Ms Mendeleiev, the science teacher, dressed in her usual laboratory attire. She takes out a large conical flask full of clear liquid and pours some into a separate beaker before hiding away the flask in her lab coat. The clear liquid in the beaker fizzes and bubbles as it turns a neon green.

"I'm not getting paid nearly enough to put up with you brats. I hate this school!" Ms Mendeleiev shrieks.

She splashes the green liquid on everything around her. Everything the toxin touches instantly begins corroding and melting away. Ms Mendeleiev cackles as she runs through the school, destroying everything she passes with her poison.

"Students please evacuate, the school is unstable!" Ms Bustier urges.

My feet push off the ground and go sprinting against the current of the crowd.

Marinette! If Marinette is unsafe...and the last thing I said to her... How could I?

I push through the panicking students and run into the library. A few of the bookshelves have collapsed, there are piles of books everywhere. My heart is pounding. What if Marinette is buried somewhere in here?

"Marinette?" I call out. "Marinette! Mari, the school is unstable—"

"Adrien!" Screams a voice.

Before I can turn around, I am pushed aside by a forceful weight. I go flying to the ground with a thud.

CRASH!

I look back to see a bookshelf fallen right where I was standing. My eyes widen. Sprawled under the heavy shelf is Marinette.

"Marinette!" I shout, scrambling forward.

I throw aside the books, lift up the shelf and push it off of her. Marinette's body is limp. Her eyes are screwed shut in a pained way. That...That can't be her dying expression. The look of sorrow that I bestowed upon her. She should have a smile on her face. Her beautiful eyes should be alive and happy. What have I done to her? My hands are shaking.

"C-Calm down...calm down...." I mutter to myself.

I reach out my hands and cradle Marinette into my arms. Concern floods my lungs making it almost impossible to breath. I pull Marinette closer into my chest and rest my head on her.

Thudum....Thudum...

I slowly exhale a shaky breath. I can hear her heartbeat. The slow thumps relax my own racing heart until the two are beating in harmony.

The walls around me give an uneasy groan. I should probably be moving. But I don't want to. Ladybug is probably fighting without Cat Noir right now...but I want to stay by Marinette's side.

"Please don't be hurt..." I whisper. "Please don't be hurt because of me..."

I hear a soft groan. Marinette's body stirs. I lift my head to see her eyes fluttering open. Her beautiful blue eyes... they're alive again. She smiles weakly.

"Marinette, why—a-are you hurt?" I stammer. "Of course you're hurt. I'm such an idiot! Let's get you some medical attention—"

"Adrien." Marinette interrupts. "I'm fine. Just a few bruises."

I look down at Marinette worriedly. She smiles warmly, melting away my fears.

But...how can she look at me so kindly after how cold I've been towards her.

"Why..." I start. "You could have just...called out to me or something."

"You wouldn't have moved in time." Marinette says as she sits up.

"But..." I trail off.

I can't make any sense of it. Marinette is so caring and selfless. She always there for me no matter what. I value her friendship more than anything...how could I possibly find the words to thank her for all that she's done for me? To apologise for all that I've done to her?

Marinette notices the pained look on my face. "Adrien, it's fine—"

Without a second thought, I lunge forward and wrap my arms around her.

"Adrien...?"

I tighten my grip around Marinette and nuzzle my face into the crook of her neck. She feels so tender and loving...she smells like a toasty bakery... What would I do without this warmth in my life?

So many things are swirling in my head. So many things I want to say. But I can't seem to form them together. They aren't enough to express how much I... how grateful I am to know her.

Finally, I choke out some words. I whispered them almost too softly to hear, but I know that Marinette heard them because I could almost sense her smiling as she lifted her arms to return my embrace.

"I don't deserve you..."    

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