Monday morning I woke up not feeling very refreshed. I felt stupid for telling Vonté about what Ryan said. I laid in bed not wanting to move, I couldn't help but stare at the wooden ceiling that laid above me. I wish I could sleep all day and erase the fact that I'm Vonté's girlfriend. I don't know what made me say yes or what made me tell Vonté about Ryan but I just did.

I reluctantly rolled to the edge of the bed placing my feet on the cold, hardwood floor. I set on the bed for a few minutes until I could force myself to walk to the bathroom. Reaching the bathroom I stripped all of my clothes off throwing them into the hamper. I brushed my teeth, then washed my face, after finishing I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Walking slowly to the shower, I turned it on feeling the water on my hand testing its hotness. I jumped in and just stood under the shower head what felt like eternity. I washed my body slowly then rinsing off the soap. Turning off the water, finally wrapping a towel around myself and stepping back into my bedroom.

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•One Hour later•

First I parked in my regular parking space, turned my engine off, stared out the front window, closed my eyes and shook my head. I really don't want to be here, I want to drive back home and lay in bed but I can't. I looked down at what I was wearing and shook my head again. Today, due to my depressed state, I wore an oversized navy jogging suit and black Nike mesh gym shoes.

Hopefully I don't get in trouble for uniform but it really wouldn't matter. Reaching for my bag in the backseat and grabbing my phone, I started to get out of the car. Before fully getting out, my ponytail hit the car ceiling. Overdramatizing the situation, I had a little temper tantrum, I began hitting the horn repeatedly, hitting it as hard as I could. I feel like I'm losing myself. Taking a few deep breaths before fully removing myself from my car.

I can't wait to get school over with, I ran to the front entrance and ran as fast as I could to my first hour. I don't want to talk to anyone or even see anyone for that matter. Placing the weekend's homework in the 'homework' bin, I quickly made my way to my seat in the back of the room while scooting lower in my chair.

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•End of Third Hour•

Today it seemed like time was going as slow as possible. I pushed my way through the double doors on the third floor. As I was walking down the hall to English, I looked down for a split second. When I looked back up, I immediately ran into someone's strong, muscular chest. I looked up and came in contact with those bright colored eyes, I didn't know what to say so I moved around him and continued walking. Ryan lightly wrapped his large hand around my arm, pulling me back toward him. I turned around looking him in his eyes again. He stared at me for a moment taking in my appearance, he must think I look ugly.

"What's wrong?" Ryan finally spoke, bending down so we were eye to eye.

"I think I'm coming down with a cold." I lied, while faking a cough. He made a sad face then stood at his normal height.

"I wanted to talk to you about Saturday.." He said looking away from me, then looking back at me. Like he was thinking about something.

"It's all in the past, we both said stuff we really shouldn't have." I responded looking down at the floor, I didn't feel like talking about it at all.

"Yeah you're right, you know I was thinking...maybe we should be friends, ya know talk and shit." Ryan spoke with extreme seriousness in this voice. Which didn't help me at all, I could feel myself getting nervous.

"Yeah, I mean....that would be cool." He reached out and took hold of my small hands. The more the conversation went on, the more it seemed he didn't want to make eye contact with me.

"Like I said I was thinking this weekend....and uhh." He dropped my hands to scratch his head, then hurriedly grasped my hands again.

"I wanted to tell you that....ugh....I feel this connection with you. Like, I'm really attracted to you and I don't know if you feel the same but....I feel something for you."

I opened my mouth but nothing came out, I felt myself blink over a million times and my palms get sweaty..I couldn't say anything. I stared at the floor, then felt my lips going into a smile. Finally looking back up, Ryan's eyes seemed to scan my entire face trying to get a response. He bit the side of his bottom lip waiting for me to speak.

"Ryan....I fee-"

"Why the fuck you touchin my girl?!" A deep voice broke into our moment. I followed the voice and realized it was Vonté, though I knew he would be mad I couldn't help but clench onto Ryan harder. Ryan turned his attention toward Vonté completely confused.

"Who's your girl?" Ryan asked while still holding my hands.

"Mackenzie! The girl hands you holdin! This dumb motherfucka!" Vonté yelled, throwing his hands in the air. By this time, it seemed everyone stopped in their place to figure out what was going on.

"Mackenzie? You must be talking about a different Mackenzie." By this time, Ryan let go of my hands to focus on Vonté.

"This bone head nigga really is stupid. MACKENZIE. WRIGHT. THE. GIRL. YOU. WERE. JUST. TALKING. TO." He said slowly like Ryan really was stupid.

"You know what nigga?! I was trying to be cool but you need to not call me out my motherfuckin name!" Ryan yelled back at Vonté. I felt like crying in a corner, why does everything have to be drama filled?

"Who the fuck you think you talkin to boy?!" Vonté moved closer.

"You motherfucka! What?! Now yo hot breath ass can't understand English! Need me to speak a different language for yo thick skull havin ass?!" Everyone laughed at Ryan's comment, which seemed to anger Vonté more.

I looked around to see if anyone would get a teacher or security guard but I guess everyone was too focused on what was going to happen next. I went to get a teacher but a large group of students formed a circle around Vonté and Ryan, causing me to not find a way out.

"Nigga you must not know who you talkin to!"

"Dude, I know exactly who I'm talkin to! A weak, bitch ass nigga! That's who the fuck I'm talkin to!"

"Can't y'all stop this?!" I yelled trying to get their attention.

"Let the men handle this!" Vonté yelled at me.

"You tried acting like I was stupid but you saying the dumbest shit." Ryan said to Vonté.

Vonté rushed Ryan, sending Ryan to the floor. Students seemed to pull out their phones at the same time trying to catch everything on video. Vonté tried to punch Ryan in the face but missed, Ryan pushed Vonté off of him roughly, then quickly jumped on top of him. Ryan punched Vonté in the jaw, Vonté tried his best to push Ryan off of him but couldn't. Ryan repeatedly hit Vonté in the face. I could see the blood starting to run from his nose. I tried to intervene but someone pushed me out of the way before I could, a group of boys picked up Ryan and slammed him to the floor. I could recognize some of their faces from the basketball team, the boys held Ryan down while Vonté got up and sat on Ryan. Vonté then punched Ryan in the mouth, then continued to hit his face.

The boys soon let Ryan go, while Vonté sat on top of Ryan beating him. I couldn't stand the sight, I wasn't angry when Ryan was hitting Vonté because he deserved it, but watching Ryan get hit hurt me. I ran to Vonté and tried to push him off of Ryan, pushing as hard as I could but he didn't move. Vonté swung his arm around and pushed me roughly to the floor. I hit the floor landing on my back and hitting my head. Ryan looked at me when I hit the floor and his facial expression changed, he somehow got Vonté off of him and began beating him to a pulp. He stood up and started stomping and kicking him, it scared me seeing him like that. The boys on the basketball team went to grab him but he started swinging on them too, hitting anyone and everyone around him, I could see he was losing control. Soon Ryan was fighting boys from the basketball team and they were trying to jump him.

Security guards came busting through the crowd of students and grabbed Ryan. Of course, he fought back hitting any and everyone that touched him. Three guards held onto him, trying to get control but he wouldn't stop fighting. He screamed and shouted. He started kicking and that's when two more guards came and grabbed him by his legs. They held onto him while he continued fighting them, I stood there watching. I couldn't help feel like the cause for all of this.

***********************
After the fight, the office continued to call my name over the PA. I didn't feel like dealing with the Principal so for the rest of the day I skipped in an empty classroom. I skipped lunch and sat in the dark classroom for the remainder of the day.

At 3:00, I wanted to get closer to the first floor without anyone seeing me. I walked downstairs to the second floor, trying to reach the bathroom. When I opened the doors, I saw Ryan walking towards the lockers. He seemed to not notice me at all, so I speed walked up to him and tapped his shoulder. Ryan turned to look at me. When he saw my face he instantly continued walking.

"Ryan?"

"Don't talk to me." He simply said, as he continued walking.

"Are you ok? I wanted to text you but I didn't want them to see it." I said following behind him.

"Don't talk to me!" He yelled at me, finally stopping to look at me. I could see the anger in his eyes and I could feel my eyes getting moist.

"Why?" I asked in a low tone.

"Because! You go with Vonté and had me looking stupid!"

"But Ryan....I was going to tell you." I tried touching his arm but he moved away from me.

"Yeah, sure! I expressed my feelings to you and you didn't even say shit!"

"I was going to Ryan! I feel it, I feel the connection. I want you just as much as you want me." I said, trying to convince him. I closed the space between us, grabbing his hands. I looked up to him, forcing him to look into my eyes.

I thought he would believe me but he didn't, Ryan removed his hands from mine.

"Don't talk to me about anything aside from chemistry or that damn packet! If you continue to bring this up, I won't have a problem asking for someone else to help me!"

"But...but I wa-want you." I whispered in a low voice.

"I don't want you." He responded coldly while turning his back to me and walking away.

I felt pain in my chest and couldn't help the stream of tears that ran down my face. Why was he being so mean? I said exactly what he wanted and he didn't even care. I rushed to the bathroom to make sure he wouldn't see me crying. I looked in the mirror while whipping my tears. I can't catch a break with anyone. Vonté always popping up and Ryan changes his mind about me every 5 seconds.