Chapter Twenty-Seven: Maggie

The sunlight struck my eyes as if it wanted to blind me as soon as I opened them.

Squinting, I covered myself with the blanket that was draped over me, wondering why the hell the room is so bright considering I always make it a habit to close the curtains where not even a slither of light could peek through the gaps before I go to sleep.

Opting to stand up and close them, I halted in my tracks once I realized that the mattress I was lying on... isn't my mattress.

Instead of a queen-sized bed with white blankets and a white comforter, I was instead greeted with a dark blue blanket and a dark blue comforter, which is ridiculously more plushy than mine - indicating that this could be a new purchase. Not only that, but the bed is also significantly bigger than mine at my father's house.

I try to process the predicament that I'm in, how foreign the environment feels, but... safe, nonetheless. It doesn't feel threatening, as if I'm in a territory I know I'm in detriment. The atmosphere feels cozy, relaxing even, and not to mention, the scent here is divine.

I inhaled the scent of the room and I almost wanted to melt. It was a rich aroma of Sandalwood infused with Peppermint, and it smelled clean but still pungent as if the smell wanted to stick itself onto you. It lingered everywhere, from the sheets to the air, and although it was strong, it wasn't overwhelming.

I wanted to indulge in it some more. But once I've gotten over my stupor, however, it dawned on me that this wasn't the scent of my room, and when my head began to feel a lot less hazy, I also realized that I should be staying in a hotel room right now, and I'm pretty sure this isn't the hotel I've been staying in for the past few days.

I tried to sit up, but found myself immediately flinching when a dull ache panged at the back of my head, making me rub it in pain, wondering what the hell could have caused-

Flashes from the night prior came rushing back into my memory like a tidal wave, and the only coherent event I could remember before passing out was that of strong arms engulfing me into a careful embrace as if it wanted to shield me from any forthcoming danger that lay ahead.

I swallowed, speculations already forming inside my head but not wanting to endorse them in fear I'll have no choice but to accept my fate, I just forced myself to stand up and greet the reality of the situation and how bad it could be.

Seeing my shoes already placed neatly by the foot of the bed, I was hit by a sense of familiarity seeing this type of consideration, and how I've only ever witnessed it from one other person if not my mother.

Heat shot through my body at the thought, putting them on as I inspected the room with sharp curiosity. There wasn't much furniture, the space was minimalistic and well-maintained, only further proving my theory that everything in here could be purchased recently.

There was a black mahogany desk at the right side of the room, as well as a laptop that was closed and a black lampshade. There was a portrait of a gloomy landscape that complimented the interior of the room hanging above the bed, as well as a tall, white closet that was about three meters in width, a fuzzy gray carpet that covered a huge portion of the floor that appeared to be of hardwood, and blinds that were still pulled right up to the top of the window, allowing the sunlight to loom through in white and orange streaks.

I opened the door slowly, stepping into what I presume was the living room, considering the spaces were adjoining and there wasn't necessarily a hallway to go through, like most apartments in NYC.

There was a small mirror hanging on the wall beside the entrance of the bedroom, and when I took a look at myself fearing for the worse, I was pleasantly surprised when I appeared... Well, not good, but not bad either. I looked like I was taken care of, and not like I had drunk myself stupid the night before, and my makeup is... gone.

There weren't any traces of it and my shoes were removed before I was settled in bed, meaning whoever tucked me in was well acquainted with me enough to cross certain boundaries. My throat went dry at the thought because I don't have that many close friends here in NYC.

The aroma of sizzling bacon permeated the air, and when I took a waft of it some more, there was also the smell of eggs. I walked further into the space, and the sight that greeted me made my head short circuit.

Because in front of me, in all of his newly awoken glory, is Evan.

Clad in a simple blue shirt and a pair of gray sweatpants that hang loosely around his slim hips, my mouth went dry at the view as he nonchalantly made breakfast with his back turned to me.

His hair was tousled, signifying that he had just woken up, and I couldn't help myself as I gawked at him. Despite the scene being so normal, watching Evan in an environment that isn't on the NYU campus seems so vague because it makes his return to my life all the more... real.

As if him being here in the city feels like a fever dream, which it does. Until now, I still can't register the fact that Evan is here in New York. That he isn't completely absolved from my life, and that the time we spent together when we were young wasn't just limited, that he wasn't just temporary.

This may sound stupid, but when you've had a person you cared about suddenly disappear from your life, seeing them again feels like seeing an apparition, a figment of your imagination that the universe cultivated in order to play some twisted game on you until you realize that they're here.

That they weren't just a one-time thing, a phase you had to leave behind because you've fooled yourself into thinking that you deserved better or you have something better waiting for you that was destined for you instead. That they were just an obstacle you needed to overcome.

But I didn't view Evan that way. He meant so much more to me and his company seemed so promising that at one point, I really thought fate and destiny joined together to bring him to me, which may sound cheesy, and be it the naivety your adolescence confers to you-

But when I left Evan all those years ago, it was so goddamn difficult to accept that was the end of it. That our story ended there, and that was the last time I'll ever see him.

So seeing him now, after all those agonizing years that I tried to convince myself what's done is done, and that I wasn't going to see him again, it feels... surreal. As if at any moment, he'll vanish.

That he'll slip past my fingers like dust, flying further and further away much like those cars that drove past me when I left him in that park, each one appearing smaller until I could no longer see them.

Until I could no longer see him.

I felt my chest ache at the memory, my fingers twitching at my sides as I flicked my eyes up to stare at him while he finished what he was cooking. A desperate need to reach out to him coiling inside of me, thrashing violently, despite him only being a few feet away.

How could someone so close still feel so far?

I must've looked crazy because when he turned around, his eyes widened when he saw me "Maggie," he greeted, setting down the frying pan he was holding and I took the initiative to wipe at the corners of my eyes while he wasn't looking. God fucking dammit, you just woke up.

He wiped his hands hastily on his sweatpants, clearing his throat before he looked up at me again "You're awake," he said as I still stood on my spot, maintaining some sort of distance as I offered him a smile.

"I am," I replied, my voice meek while I stayed glued at the entrance of his bedroom, using it as some sort of support. "Although the conditions where I woke up were very... shocking."

He blinked at that "Was the bed uncomfortable? Did it smell bad? I know I should've changed the sheets-"

"No! No! No! It's not that, trust me, your bed smells amazing." It wasn't until the words left my mouth was when I realized what the fuck I just said "I-I mean-"

I stuttered, feeling hot as Evan stared at me in subtle amusement. There was always a twinkle in his eyes whenever he found a situation funny "That's good to hear, then." he quipped.

I shook my head, wanting the ground to swallow me whole. "W-what I meant to say is that I was shocked when I found myself here," I clarified "In your house, specifically."

Recognition washed over his face. "Oh." he said, laughing awkwardly as he scratched the nape of his neck "I forgot that I brought you here last night without your knowledge."

"What exactly happened?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow "You don't remember what happened?"

I pondered for a minute before shaking my head "Bits of it, I guess. But I kinda just passed out after that, all I know is that some asshole was feeling me up before everything went blank."

"Yeah, I took care of that," he said in a firm tone as I was taken aback. "I would've done a lot more but I'm pretty sure the bouncer already did that for me."

"Wait, wait, wait, stop." I told him, holding a hand up in confusion "Can we retract because I'm lost."

He looked at me in earnest before gesturing to the small dining table beside the kitchen counter "How about we eat breakfast first? So you can clear your head before I tell you everything."

I was about to protest, thinking that I didn't want to prolong my stay here any longer than I should, but he probably sensed that I was about to refuse because he shot me a pointed look before I could open my mouth to decline "It's just breakfast, you haven't eaten anything aside from the shots of vodka you drunk last night and I'm pretty sure you're going to deteriorate if you don't eat something healthy, so please, sit down while I get our food ready."

I bit down on my tongue, if this had happened years ago I would've gotten the confidence to fight back whenever he uses that tone with me, but considering we hadn't seen each other in forever and the old sense of familiarity isn't there anymore, I had no choice but to succumb to his wishes.

With that, I walked towards the table and sat down, fidgeting in my chair considering the dress I wore rode up to my thighs and it just felt tight and restrictive "Are you okay?" he asked, concerned.

I sighed "Nothing, it's just my dress. Not really a pajama set by any means."

He bit the side of his cheek and held up a finger, telling me to wait as he ran to his bedroom for a few seconds as I made my plate - okay, things may have changed between us but he was the one who brought me here, to begin with. Might as well feel at home while I'm at it.

As I was gathering eggs and bacon he came out of his bedroom holding a gray flannel, offering it to me as I reluctantly took it from his hand, his fingers grazing the side of my palm as I felt a chill run up my spine due to the contact "Just so that you wouldn't feel uncomfortable."

I smiled up at him in appreciation, thinking that despite the condition I was in, feeling violated by him is the last thing on my mind, but I appreciate the gesture nonetheless as I put the flannel on. It was drastically big on me, the sleeves engulfing my arms to the point they weren't visible anymore.

It reached down to my thighs, it was practically longer than my dress, however, it did offer a semblance of security, despite not needing it around Evan but it'll prove to be useful once I get out into the street "Thank you," I muttered coyly, diverting my attention to my plate "You didn't have to."

"I don't want you to feel uneasy when you're in my home, your well-being always comes first," he said so nonchalantly despite the underlying affection it suggested, not wanting to think too much of it despite how easy it is for him to say such things.

"Speaking of my well-being..." I began "Mind elaborating how I ended up here?"

That instantly caught him off guard, as he sat down across from me and focused on his meal "Thought we'd get down on the scramble eggs first, but whatever floats your boat."

"Evan," I sighed, exasperated as he finally took pity on me.

"Okay fine," he surrendered. "I brought you here to my place because you told me not to bring you back to your father's," Oh right "But considering I didn't know where else to bring you, I settled here in my apartment instead. You didn't really give me a lot of options."

"My bad," I said, forking the crisp surface of the bacon. "I should've been more specific instead of making myself a liability."

He chuckled humorlessly, shaking his head "You're not-" he paused, struggling to put his thoughts into words "You're not... a liability. You were clearly having a hard time and I just so happened to be there, don't look at yourself that way, we all go through it, and don't think that for one second that I... view you that way."

I softened at his declaration, he didn't have to alleviate my insecurity, didn't have to tiptoe around my feelings considering he's not obligated to be considerate with them, but I guess some habits don't really die that hard.

"I was just going through a lot last night, and I wanted to forget about my problems even just for a little while but I didn't think I'd end up making such.... stupid decisions," I confessed, the shame in my voice not being able to suppress itself as I refused to meet Evan's eye.

"That's understandable," he told me, and typically when people try to empathize with me by saying they understand I'm inclined to roll my eyes, but I know Evan well enough that when he says that he understands me, is that it's coming from a place of honesty, so the gesture is much appreciated "But I hope you don't mind me asking..."

I was compelled to meet his eye this time as his voice suddenly became solemn "Why didn't you want me to bring you back to your father? You don't have to say it, of course, you're not obligated to tell me about the personal things happening in your life, but it's clearly affecting you, and if you want to unload or just vent... I'm not here to judge. You know that."

Of course, I do.

I still contemplated the offer, just because I don't doubt his sincerity, his willingness to listen, and for him to sympathize with me. My father is still a sensitive subject that I don't think I have the willpower to talk about with him.

But when I saw the eagerness in his eyes, I knew it'd be futile to back down now, because what else am I supposed to hide? He's been exposed to the travesties in my life long enough to not be swayed by any of the misfortunes I'll bestow upon him, so what's the point in being secretive about it now?

So I told him. Down to the very last detail about how Levi lost his trust when he caught the both of us arguing, how we started to drift away afterward and how that probably led him to snitch on me to my father about our reunion, to put it simply.

Evan was shocked. Not about how Levi doesn't trust me and all, there's always going to be a part of him that isn't completely contented with Levi's character, he's always had his reservations about him, and it's one of the many things that alleviates my guilt about not trusting Levi's motives as well because at least I know the wariness isn't lost in him either. Instead, he was shocked that Levi committed something so deceitful, to begin with. Sure, he's had his doubts about our relationship, and I can tell even if he doesn't say it to me, but I didn't miss the contempt in his gaze when I told him about Levi's scheme.

"Why would he fucking do that? I get that he's always been," I could just tell he wanted to say the word insecure but was too reluctant to go through with it, and resorted with "irrational, but you're his girlfriend. You guys have been together for so long."

I snorted at that against my better judgment "You know how our relationship is, it may look sturdy but that doesn't make it any less susceptible to outside forces that could just as quickly destroy it." I conceded.

I was expecting condescension on his behalf, due to my attempts to make my relationship look perfect, this was the moment of truth he's been waiting for, a declaration of honesty. A told you so moment.

... But there wasn't any of that, all I was met with was an air of sympathy radiating from him as if he was distraught to see me experiencing all of this. As if he despised the thought that I had to go through this, and somehow, that just makes it all the easier for me to let all of it out.

The pain, the anguish, and the struggling I've dealt with these past few weeks where I just felt so... alone. As if I didn't have anyone who could truly understand me. I had my friends, of course, but the idea of letting them see my relationship which they've witnessed fail time and time again was just something that my pride couldn't handle. Not that there's much left anyways.

But with Evan, there was no need to feel ashamed. I had as much reason to be discreet about it but for some reason, I have no impulse to act out on it, because I know if I tell him about it, what I'll get out of him won't come from a place of superiority, but rather a place of compassion.

He doesn't point out the mishaps because he anticipates them, he points them out because I know he'd rather see me without them than suffer because of them.

He always worries, and that's something that won't ever be lost on me.

He can tell the discussion went stale when I brought up Levi, so he immediately changes the topic by asking "So where are you staying then? Now that you aren't talking to your father or Levi."

I swallowed "At a hotel."

His face twitched at the revelation "At a what?"

"The room service is really good-"

"Maggie," there it is again, the same authoritative tone he uses when he knows I'm trying to avoid the issue at hand "You can't stay at a hotel."

I glowered at him "I'm pretty sure I can."

"You can if you want to cause a dent in your bank account," he sighed, the agitation slowly dispersing off him as he stared at me with worried eyes "It's expensive, let's start with that. You're still in college and I don't think wasting your money like this is wise. You need a space where you don't need to worry about paying for expenses that are only going to add up the more you stay there."

He deliberated on what he was about to say next, jaw ticking and eyes fixated on his hand which he clenched and unclenched, afterward puffing out a deep breath before looking at me again.

"Stay with me," he suggested as my eyes became wide as saucers "I know it may seem like a lot, and I'm not expecting you to find the offer ethical."

"Far from it actually," I mused, despite the shock I was in.

It's safe to say he wasn't amused by my sarcasm as he stared at me blankly before adding "But I don't want you to go through such great lengths for shelter just because your dad is being a dick. I hate how you're pushed to the extreme when all you do is be careful. Be careful because of them when we both know you don't need to. This is your life, Maggie."

I gulped at this conviction but found it endearing nonetheless "Evan, I don't know..."

"Think about it," he said, a tinge of desperation in his voice "I wouldn't say this if I didn't worry about you."

My heart pounded erratically at his profession. I knew he carried some form of regard when it comes to me, the same way I do with him. We always linger in each other's minds no matter how much we try to fight it, but it doesn't come less as a shock when he's so bold about it.

I badly wanted to decline, not because I wanted to but because it just seems the most logical. But when he's sitting here looking at me as if my answer is of great importance and that his life is on the line if I choose to say no, I couldn't help it as I found myself leaning more towards sentimentality than objectivity.

The heart can be such an impulsive little thing...

"Okay," I said, the words quickly leaving my mouth before I got to register my answer, and a glimmer of victory shone in Evan's eyes at my response.

"Really?" he asked, and my mind desperately pleaded no, take it back, take it back.

"Sure," I replied instead, smiling "It won't be that long anyway."

"Of course, for as long as it's appropriate." he beamed to the point that I couldn't have it in me to dim away his light

... And mine's the most impulsive of them all.