Chapter Six: Evan

Throughout my post-breakup meltdown when I excessively hooked up with multiple women for almost half a year, I didn't make the effort of keeping in touch with any of them.

Mainly because I viewed them as nothing more than what they actually were, which were pathetic ways to distract myself from dwelling with what I've lost by relentlessly looking for people to fill the empty void inside of me.

Even if it were just for a while.

Evidently, some of them worked only for as long as 24 hours, and as soon that time frame ended it was back to feeling like I was one beer bottle away from completely falling apart.

I tried to justify the one-night-stands, I really did. But there are only so many meaningless flings you can keep indulging yourself in before you realize that this wasn't gonna fix what I was dealing with on the inside.

And so I went on meaningless escapades but never maintained actual contact with any of them, for the satisfaction they provided was equivalent to what the toxins of alcohol and cigarettes could offer you - a sensory pleasure that leaves a bitter aftertaste on the mouth.

Plus I didn't wanna bother with the tedious process of getting to know them because what good would it do? Deceiving myself with the idea that if I get to know them any better, I'd move on with someone new in no time? Plus I wasn't in the right headspace to provide any of the women I slept with what they wanted.

Some of them were only in it for the same reasons that I did and some of them were willing to explore the possibilities after the nights we spent.

But given the reasons as to why I got involved with them in the first place which was sex and sex only, I found it hard to keep in touch with them afterward because the relationship already got tainted before it even started.

So I thought to myself if I ever planned to move on with someone new, I was gonna do it when I knew I had something to give which wasn't just sex.

I needed to start with something that was initiated by an actual connection and what the other person and I have in common, instead of what we can just do with our bodies.

And as I nervously fidget here in my seat while glancing over at the girl seated beside me, I try to search for ways how I can introduce myself because so far, with her brief introduction a while ago, it was already enough to pull me in.

But then I thought, if something were to happen now with either this girl or any other girl that I'll meet in the future, it'd be best if I just let nature take its course and let the conversation happen naturally.

Considering I know better than to force myself onto a girl for the sake of getting with her even when it's obvious we have nothing in common.

So I decided if the opportunity to start a conversation with her presents itself, I'll take it, and if it just doesn't work, then I'll leave her alone-

"Is that the new Nintendo Switch Pro?"

Blinking, I turn to my seat companion as she marvels at the Nintendo Switch that I brought with me as it sat untouched on the tray table that was slightly covered by my satchel, but the vibrant red color of the game console was making it hard for her not to notice.

I grinned as I shook my head "Ah, no. It's actually the one released back in 2019, I don't think the newest one is out yet. The Pro one." I clarified as she nodded her head, intrigued.

"Figured. I guess you might say I'm a bit of a collector of these bad boys and brought one myself, but then I forgot to take it out when I was handing my luggage at the aircraft hold so..." she pouted and slumped back to her seat "I'm deprived of my usual entertainment, unfortunately."

I chuckled, biting my lower lip as I glanced back at my Nintendo Switch before pushing it towards her "You can borrow mine if you want."

She blinked at that, shaking her head even though her gaze was still ogling at the Nintendo "No, I can't just borrow what's yours without even getting to know you first. I haven't even gotten your name yet." with that, she suddenly extended her hand forward "I'm Alyssa, by the way."

Alyssa? Cute.

I smiled, returning her handshake as I replied with "I'm Evan." afterward gesturing back to the Nintendo Switch before saying "Now that introductions have been made, you can borrow my game console if you'd like."

"Oh no, I can't possibly..." but as her eyes trail a little bit longer on the Switch, it wasn't long before the mask fell and she snatched it before she could even let herself refuse "Okay since you offered so nicely, how can I say no?"

Laughing once more, I couldn't help but find her eagerness and boisterous behavior endearing as she proceeded to ask if I brought any games which I sarcastically replied by saying "How would I use it if I didn't bring any?" to which she simply rolled her eyes, a grin on her face.

I took the cartridges out and gave them to her as her eyes glinted at my selections "Damn, we have about the same taste in games. Breath of Wild? Mario Kart? Super Smash Bros?" she whistled "I got lucky sitting next to you."

"Good to know." I laughed as she proceeded to ogle at the Switch in her hands before she diverted her attention back to me.

"Talk about first impressions, huh? Sorry if I came on too strong and violated your personal space like that, a lot of people in the past have told me that I tend to be a little bit intrusive for my own good. Scared a lot of strangers in the past as well." she said sheepishly to which I waved her off, offering her a smile of my own.

"It's okay, I actually appreciate how easy you made me comfortable in your presence, I was hesitating to introduce myself but you beat me to it."

Her eyes gleamed upon hearing my confession "Oh, did you now?"

Nodding, I scratched the nape of my neck out of embarrassment "Yeah, I'm heading to New York for college, and I was nervous thinking about how I'm gonna be making friends in a completely different city, and considering you seemed like a friendly face, I thought I'd introduce myself to you to see if I'll be able to do it. Make friends, that is. Or to at least start a conversation."

"Ah," she nodded in amusement with a sly smirk on her lips "So you basically used me as your practice dummy?"

Shocked at her insinuation, I waved my hands around defensively to deny her statement, to which she couldn't resist chuckling seeing my flustered reaction.

"I'm just messing with you! You saw how easily I overstepped my boundaries a while ago, you might as well get used to the fact that I just act like a dumbass, in general." she teased "But I understand, and you don't have to worry about the idea of not making friends once you arrive in New York, because you already made one right now."

Blinking, I couldn't help but feel astonished looking at this girl act as if we've been best friends for years when in reality, it hasn't even been 30 minutes since we first spoke and she's already out here treating me like we'll be the best of friends in the days preceding after we get off our flight.

It's alienating, for sure, something I'm not really used to as it's been a while since I've last tried to befriend someone outside of my friend group.

But at the same time... it's refreshing. Because if this is what stepping out of LA and facing a new chapter out of my life has to offer, whether it be better opportunities and new faces that'll cloud the ones from my past in order to make way for a bigger and brighter light ahead...

Then it's safe to say the horizons are looking pretty great right now.

*  *  *

It has already been two hours since I initiated a conversation with Alyssa.

So far I already know where she previously lived in LA before she decided to move to New York for college, what course she's planning to take, and how she got accepted in Columbia University, which was a major revelation to me but she just waved it off like it was nothing.

She also applied for an internship in Runway Magazine a couple of months back considering she is deeply passionate about Fashion and wanted to combine that with Editorial Writing and is planning to be a journalist.

Needless to say, she's an open book.

"How about you? What are you majoring in?" she asked after basically spilling her entire life's story to me, but it was entertaining considering she is an interesting person.

She almost made me feel quite dull when I compared my own background to hers "Eh, it's nothing to gush about really, I'm not as interesting as you are."

"Hey, don't say that, everyone has a story to tell regardless of where they came from and where they've been in life, and I believe that each person's story deserves to be heard. You don't have to be a multimillionaire playboy who secretly fights bad guys during the night for me to be invested in you," she reassured as I chuckled at her choice of words "So come on, tell me. I always love hearing about what makes other people different from me."

I hesitated for a while until eventually, I surrendered, thinking if I was gonna rope her in and be friends with her, I at least have to reciprocate her energy.

"Well, not to come off too strong but I came from a pretty well-off family. My parents own this big shot company that I have to inherit once they retire, that's why I'm taking business as my major and even though it sucked coming to terms with the fact that I have no choice but to succumb to their wishes, it was either their way or the highway."

"That's not to say I was completely submissive to what my parents wanted, quite frankly I was even a tad bit rebellious during my teenage years and I refused to cater to their every demand and I'd be lying if I said it didn't get on their damn nerves."

"But I was an only child so they had no other choice, then again it wasn't like they didn't have any ulterior motives of their own to try and put me in my place, they always tried and some tactics worked," I hesitated for a moment if I wanted to further elaborate on that piece of information, but then I retracted, thinking maybe if I said it all now, I'd be oversharing too much.

Plus I don't really know if this newly developed friendship with Alyssa is even gonna continue once we land in New York, so it'd be better if I hold back on saying things about my life that are a tad bit too personal. For all I know, despite her easy-going personality, I might scare her away.

"I felt guilty that I've put them through so much, they provided me with everything I've wanted, and yet here I was taking advantage of that. Although I value my sense of independence and fought tooth and nail to even be able to get on this plane despite how our family business is located in LA and they were so against my demands, I thought I might as well give them this." Once I finished I glanced back at Alyssa, the awestruck look in her eyes visible.

"I can't believe you had the audacity to tell me that your life isn't as interesting as mine when in reality, I'm no match when it comes to you. You're going to inherit your own company? I'd probably end up writing about you on the paper once I become a journalist."

I snorted at her exclamation "It's not all that, it's actually quite draining to think about even at a young age, knowing that I'd have to handle my own business, and I know that's very privileged of me to say and I should just shut the fuck up, but at the same time... I wonder what it would be like if the burden of my family's legacy wasn't shackled on me since the day I was born."

Alyssa's gaze softened, her once lively demeanor gone as she now stared at me sympathetically, making me mentally scold myself about not wanting to come off too strong and overwhelm her.

"... For what it's worth though, here you are now claiming your freedom, that's a step forward to living your life and stepping out of those shackles, you could at least praise yourself for that," she told me as I took my time to process her words, afterward letting a smile linger on my lips.

"And I could only imagine what it must feel like to have that sort of pressure dropped down on you, and the fact you were able to have a life outside of what your parents wanted despite all odds, means you're tough as nails, man." she proclaimed as I couldn't help but laugh at her implication.

"It's a step forward, at least." she added "You just have to focus on what you can control, and the millions of other possibilities that are waiting outside of what's already laid out for you. You can at least anticipate that, right?"

Her eyes drifted behind me and to the window of the plane, motioning her chin forward for me to look as well and I turned around to see the distant sight of New York City.

"There's so much waiting for you at your doorstep, so stop mourning at what you've already unpacked and instead look forward to the things that are just about to unravel, and who knows... maybe you'll end up liking what you'll get."

I discreetly let the ends of my lips curl up at that, thinking how I've already received one of those possibilities waiting for me and so far... I am.

I am liking what I've gotten so far.