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xiv. CHAPTER FOURTEEN

LORCAN'S LETTER.
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              Sirius Black awoke the next morning, surprisingly early. He'd kept an eye out all evening for Briar, but he hadn't spotted her anywhere. Even Lily admitted that Briar hadn't come to the library as usual to study. He tried to ignore the twisting feeling in his gut, but it was difficult. After spending the evening twitching whenever he saw a girl walk by with a platinum blonde plait, he realized that he had to admit something to himself.

             He was worried about her.

           It was odd. He felt restless, and Remus had commented on his inability to sit down in one place for a few minutes. Sirius wondered what Briar was doing. Had her father been furious? Was she hurt? An image of her locking herself into her dormitory, crying, crossed his mind. He pushed it away instantly. He didn't need pictures like that in his head.

            "-But it's awful, what will I do? What if he fails me? Oh no, James, what if he fails me? I've worked so hard for this class, I need to get an O..."

           Sirius entered the common room and saw Lily Evans, fully dressed in her school uniform, looking distraught. Her head was in her hands, and James was sitting beside her. His friend seemed both helpless and bewildered, but he patted the red-head's back gently.

         "Lily, it's all right, he won't fail you-"

        "But he will! He'll be so disappointed, I'm supposed to be his best student!"

          Sirius shot James a curious look, and his friend sighed before responding.

        "Lily, erm, forgot about the Potions assignment Slughorn set us. She hasn't done it, and Potions is first period today."

         "Oh, don't worry Lily," Sirius told her casually, sitting down opposite them. "I haven't done it either."

        Lily lifted her head up, and glared at Sirius. "I'm not surprised. Black. The day I start comparing my homework assignments with yours is the day I lose all respect for myself."

        "You realize you said that same thing about dating James?"

         Lily shook her head, frowning. "What am I going to do? How can I possibly go to class and show Professor Slughorn my face when I haven't done the assignment?"

          Sirius shrugged. "What if you don't go to class?"

        Lily sighed. "I'm not skipping class, Black. That'll only make things worse."

        "All right, let me put it this way. What if you couldn't go to class?"

☁️🥀✨

           Briar half jogged down the stairs as she made her way to Potions. She was late, and she could only hope that Professor Slughorn would excuse her this once. By the time she'd woken up, she'd had 15 minutes for class, and that wasn't nearly enough time to get ready.

      "Merlin..." she mumbled, as she turned the corridor and saw it packed with students. Professor McGonagall was standing near the entrance to the Potions classroom, ordering students to go back. Most people looked confused, and many had large smiles on their faces. "What's going on?"

          Briar looked around, and saw a familiar face. Lily Evans was standing nearby, staring at the Potions classroom looking as though she wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. "Lily! What's happened?"

         Lily turned around and saw Briar. "Oh, there you are. Erm.. well, apparently somebody's set off a set of Dr. Filibuster's fireworks in the Potions classroom. They reacted with the ingredients in the supply closet, and-" Lily paused, as a huge rumbling noise came from behind the closed door of the Potions classroom. Briar stared at it in horror. "Well, that happened."

          "Class is cancelled!" Professor Slughorn yelled out, and Briar smiled. She could imagine who would be behind this sort of a prank.

        "Well, shall we go, then?"

The two girls turned around and headed back down the corridor. Lily gave Briar a curious look.

"So, erm... where were you yesterday? You never came to the library, and Sirius was looking for you. He said something about your father coming into school," Lily said casually. Briar nodded.

         "Yes he had some work with Professor Dumbledore," Briar began lightly, but then she paused. She was lying. Why was she lying to Lily? Why shouldn't she simply tell her friend the truth? "Actually, no. He came because Lucius told him that there was something going on between Black and me."

          Lily raised an eyebrow. "Oh. I take it he wasn't happy, then?"

         Briar laughed drily. "Happy? He was furious. He threatened to send me to Beauxbatons if I ever spoke to Black again."

         Lily nodded, looking thoughtful. There was silence for a moment, and Briar looked at her curiously.

         "What's on your mind?"

         "Can I ask you something, Briar?" Lily said quietly. "I'm... assuming that your father doesn't know that, erm, you and I are friends."

           Briar froze, but she slowly shook her head. "No, he doesn't."

          "Does anyone know? I mean, I never noticed it until recently, but the only time we spend together is either in the library or during Prefect duties, when nobody else is around. I thought... I mean, I never wanted to say anything. But would our friendship get you in any sort of trouble?"

           Briar stared at Lily. She'd expected that her friend would be angry that she'd never told anyone of their friendship. After all, the subtle sneaking around had always made Briar feel ashamed, more so recently than ever. But Lily didn't seem upset about that..

           "To be honest, my parents would be furious. Their... beliefs are different, and I'm not saying that's an excuse, but-"

"It's okay. You can't help what they think. And I'll admit that I was upset when I first realized that you were trying to keep our friendship secret from the rest of your housemates. But I think I understand your reasons now."

Briar shook her head. "Lily, I'm sorry. I don't know what I can do except for apologize. I'm ashamed, and I regret doing many things...but being friends with you is not one of them."

Lily smiled up at her. "Don't worry about it. Briar, you're the only Slytherin I know that would never discriminate against me for being a Muggleborn. And I'd be a rather useless friend if I was angry with you for your parents' beliefs."

"Why did we used hate eachother so much?" Briar laughed.

Lily bit her lip. "To tell the truth, I've always wanted to be your friend, when I first saw during our first year, and you made the boil cure potion perfectly.I was dying to be your friend but you always seemed so cold and distant so I did the same thing so if you ever tried to talk to me I'd be the one doing the the rejecting."

Briar felt her mouth dry up, and her entire body felt overwhelmed with guilt. "Lily, I had no idea... I guess I do never try," she confessed. "But I never saw the need to, because as soon as we leave Hogwarts, everyone goes their own ways and it was just a way to prevent any pain. But trust me, being your friend is the best decision I ever made."

Both Lily and Briar stood in silence, both of them digesting each others words, a feeling of comfort fell between the teenagers, the feeling of finally having a true friend. The sudden feeling unknowingly making the envelope each other in a long tight hug, a grin making it's way on the girls' faces.

Lily soon after grabbed Briar's hand. "Now come on; something tells me that a certain group of mischief-makers are feeling rather pleased with themselves. I've got a bone to pick with them."

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Briar had to admit, watching Lily scold James and Sirius for almost blowing up the Potions classroom was rather enjoyable. She was still smiling to herself when she entered her dormitory during lunch, to grab a few books. An owl was sitting beside her owls cage, waiting for Briar with a letter tied to its foot.

Briar instantly recognized her brother's owl. She was surprised. Lorcan very rarely ever wrote to her. While her brother was a very jovial and carefree character in person, he could never gather enough patience to sit down and write a letter. She untied it, and opened the letter slowly.

Rose,

I thought you should know that things are in rather bad shape at home. Father came home yesterday, and Mother was furious that he'd gone to Hogwarts to talk to you. She thinks he over-reacted and she's refused to speak to him until he admits that he was wrong. They're both being rather stubborn, but I think Father's going to give in soon (he always does when it comes to mother).

He's very worried about you. Lucius' letter shocked him, and I think he was a little hurt at the idea that you would do something like that. He's coming to his senses slowly, however. He regrets not listening to you, and he realizes that he was harsh. You know how people gossip, Rose. Father was afraid that someone would say something rude to you and you'd be upset. He's very protective of you. He would never have the heart to send his daughter all the way to France, he'd miss you too much.

There are some things going on, Rose, things you wouldn't quite understand. Father's been distracted lately, and he took it out on you. Don't be too angry with him.

I suppose things will calm down soon enough. Do me a favor and tell Lucius to keep that big mouth of his shut. I don't even know where he would get such absurd ideas from. My little sister would never associate with filth like the blood traitor Black. I'm really getting rather tired of our cousin. He keeps writing to me about all kinds of absurd things. As if I have nothing better to do, must've got it from his father.

Love,

Lorcan

Briar stared at the letter for a few seconds, bewildered. Could Lorcan be telling the truth? Did her Father really regret what he'd said to her the previous day? Briar had to admit that he hadn't quite been himself. She should have suspected that there was something wrong. Her father would have never behaved that way unless there was something on his mind.

Things you wouldn't quite understand. That was the part of Lorcan's letter that bothered her the most. What was this mysterious thing that her entire family seemed to be hinting at, yet nobody would tell her? Was it anything to do with whatever Lucius was going through? Briar wondered what he'd been writing to her brother about. It seemed unlike Lucius to bother Lorcan unnecessarily knowing well enough that Lorcan didn't like him.

Briar quickly folded the letter, and grabbed her books before heading out of the dormitory. She'd just entered the Slytherin common room when she almost banged into two people that were standing near the entrance to the girls dorms.

"I'm sorry!" Briar muttered, quickly putting a hand on the wall to stabilize herself. She glanced up and saw that it was Rabastan Lestrange she'd almost banged into. He was standing along with a vaguely familiar-looking girl. "Um, Rabastan?"

"Briar," he greeted her. His smile seemed almost smug, and Briar merely stared at him, confused. "Have you met my girlfriend, Freya Hazelwood? She's in the year below ours. Freya, this is Briar. She's Lucius' cousin."

Briar smiled politely at Freya. She was pretty, with large blue eyes and a wide smile. "Hello Freya. It's nice to meet you."

"Oh, it's wonderful to meet you too!" Freya gushed, clutching onto Rabastan's arm. Her nails were almost the same length as her fingers, and Briar winced as she watched them pierce into poor Rabastan's skin. "It's always nice to get to know Rabastan's friends!"

Briar forced a smile and wondered when exactly she and Rabastan had become friends. She'd always considered them more... acquaintances? Briar wasn't sure. She forced another smile at both Rabastan and Freya, before hitching her bag up on her shoulder. "Well, I should get to class. Have a nice day, both of you."

They both smiled at her, and Briar quickly pushed past them to the exit. She could still hear Rabastan laughing with Freya as the door to the dungeons closed behind her. Briar resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

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Sirius muttered softly under his breath, as he searched the Marauders Map under the light of his wand. Most of the portraits around him were dozing off, and he was glad that James had lent him the Invisibility Cloak for this particular nighttime adventure.

"All right, where'd she go?" he asked himself softly. He'd seen D'Alessio on the third floor corridor a few moments ago, but the little dot with her name on it had disappeared. He scanned the surrounding corridors, until he found her dot heading towards the Astronomy Tower. Smiling, he followed it silently.

When he spotted Briar, she was sitting on a window ledge, halfway up the tower. She was reading another book, and Sirius frowned to himself. Didn't she ever do anything else? He pulled the cloak off, and walked up to her.

"Well. Not culinary again, I hope?"

Briar yelped in surprise. Her eyes widened, and she looked up at him, furious. "Did you have to scare me like that? I didn't hear you come up!"

Sirius shrugged, bundling the cloak under his arm. Briar gave it a disapproving look.

"Is that an Invisibility Cloak?"

"Maybe. Why?"

Briar shook her head, resisting a smile. "Nothing. It just explains how you and your friends manage to get around without being caught. Clever trick."

Sirius grinned. "Thank you, it is. Mind if I join you up here?"

"I don't suppose you'll listen to me if I tell you to get back to your dormitory right now or I'll give you detention? Never really seems to stop you lot anyway."

Sirius frowned. "Is that a yes or a no?"

"If you must."

He sat beside her on the window ledge, hoisting himself up. Leaning over slightly, he peeked into her book. It was another novel, but this one didn't seem to have a fake cover.

"You shouldn't read so much," Sirius advised her, with a grin. "Your eyes will go bad, and you'll end up needing glasses like James. The look wouldn't really suit you."

Briar smiled at him. It was another genuine smile, and Sirius found himself noticing her small dimples again, the way he had yesterday. "Don't worry about me, Black. The Healers told me that I will probably never need glasses. My eyes are perfect."

"They are," Sirius said quietly, and smiled when she turned a light shade of pink. She turned away from him, looking back down at her book. "What's so fascinating about those books anyway? I never see anyone else reading them."

"That's because there's a rather poor selection of wizarding fiction," Briar replied. "But Muggle novels...I didn't expect much when I tried the first one, but it's fascinating. The emotions and the feelings go unbelievably deep. It's amazing how Muggle have no magic but they lead equally comfortable lives. I've started to respect them much more."

Sirius looked at her, still smiling. "That's a rather dangerous viewpoint to have. I take it that you don't go gushing about Muggle novels to Malfoy."

Briar laughed. "I don't go gushing about anything to anyone. And I don't need to hide such things from you. If my views are dangerous, then yours are far worse, Black."

Sirius shrugged lightly, not responding. Briar sat in silence for a few minutes, watching him. He seemed rather comfortable, leaning back against the window with his legs crossed in front of him. She frowned.

"What?" he asked, noticing her expression. "Must I keep my back straight in your presence, My Lady?"

"I doubt you would, even if I asked you to," Briar replied simply. "What are you even doing out here? I find it difficult to believe that discussing Muggle novels with me is more important to you than your sleep."

"I thought I'd ask you what happened yesterday. With your dad, that is."

Briar frowned. She wasn't sure she wanted to discuss the event with Black, mainly because she was so confused about it herself. And she didn't want to insult her father in front of him. "It was all right. He told me that I needed to stay away from you and your friends."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Or?"

"What do you mean, or?"

Trust me, there's always an or."

"Or he'd send me to France. Beauxbatons, to be precise. But I don't think he meant it."

Sirius grinned at the thought of Beauxbatons. "The girls school? I hear there are a lot of Veela there..."

Briar almost laughed at the gleeful expression on his face. "Well, perhaps my father would be better off sending you there. You'd certainly enjoy it more than I would."

"Probably."

Briar shrugged. "It's just odd, isn't it? If about a year ago, my Father had heard from Lucius that I was, erm, spending time with you, I think he'd have been extremely proud of me. My mother would have congratulated me for finding someone from such a pure bloodline and everyone would have been happy. Yet the same thing happens now and they're ready to ship me off to another school to prevent it from happening."

Sirius grinned. "That's life. My mother would have loved to have you as her daughter-in-law."

Briar eyes widened in horror. "Oh Merlin, never! I think I'd hang myself if I had to be her daughter-in-law. Perhaps that's one good thing that came out of it all."

"What, being married to me wouldn't have made up for her?"

"All the gold in the world wouldn't make up for Walburga Black."

Sirius laughed, and they both looked at each other for a moment. Briar found herself staring into his grey eyes. She'd never seen eyes quite that color before. She tore her gaze away quickly.

"What was it like?" she asked him, her voice suddenly growing softer.

Sirius was confused. "What was what like?"

"Leaving home. What was it like?"

Sirius wondered if she was mocking him, but one glance at her face told him that she was perfectly serious. There was something more than curiosity in her eyes. It was a sort of helplessness, a plea for comfort. Sirius wasn't sure whether he could give it to her.

"It was like a breath of fresh air," he said, after a few moments of thought. "It was like... I was sitting there and breathing some rotten smell all my life. And I was too scared to come out, because I was afraid that it would be worse outside. But once I gathered the courage to do it and I took in the fresh air, I only wished that I'd done it sooner."

Briar looked at him, frowning. "You've never had any regrets?"

Sirius sighed. "Honestly? There is one thing that I wish I'd done differently. I should have taken my wall posters along with me. It's not like I can go back and get them."

Briar rolled her eyes, but she couldn't resist a smile. "Unbelievable."

"I know! I can't believe I just forgot them, it wasn't until I reached James' house that I realized-"

Briar laughed, slapping Sirius on the arm playfully. He reached out and pulled her hand into his, making her smile drop. She swallowed, and watched the emotion in his grey eyes as he intertwined their fingers together, his hand warming hers up instantly. Her fingers were limp for a moment, before they gripped his in return.

"Why would you ask me that?"

"Wh-what?" Briar asked, having a difficult time turning her attention away from their clasped hands.

"Why would you ask me what it was like to leave home, unless you've been having similar thoughts yourself?" Sirius asked her. "You certainly weren't just making idle conversation."

Briar looked up at him. "I'm not thinking about running away."

"You can't tell me that the thought has never crossed your mind."

"It hasn't. I love my family, Black. I don't judge you for what you did, I think I understand now. But you can't expect me to do the same thing. I could never leave my parents and my brother that way. They'd never be able to handle it."

Briar watched as Sirius's eyes clouded over. She could only describe the expression on his face as anger. He frowned at her, his grip on her hand tightening. "Why do you do this to yourself?"

"Why do I do what?" She asked, confused. His eyes were staring into hers, almost as if he was trying to read her mind. She felt uncomfortable, and turned her face from his, but he quickly turned it back. The hand that wasn't clasping hers held her face gently, making her look at him.

"Why do you convince yourself that you owe them something? Listen to me, Briar, you owe them nothing. They've done nothing but feed you lies and turn you into the perfect little daughter. But you weren't meant to be that. You can be so much more. Why should you let them hold you back? Why should you hold yourself back?"

Briar swallowed, trying to turn her face away from his, again. But has hand was gripping her chin firmly. "I'm not holding back-"

"Don't lie to yourself. You can lie to other people, we all do it. But you're lying to yourself."

"Let me go," Briar muttered. She tried to twist her face out of his grip. "Black, I'm done with this, let me go. Please."

Sirius let go of her chin, and Briar turned her face away from him, angrily. Who did he think he was, telling her what she felt? She wasn't lying to herself. She knew exactly what she was doing. She ripped her hand out of his grasp and jumped down from the window ledge, grabbing her book. She was about to head down the stairs when she heard a voice.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

Eyes widening as she recognized the voice, Briar turned back to look at Sirius. "That's Ferns, he's a seventh-year prefect!"

Sirius raised an eyebrow at her. "So? Tell him you're patrolling."

"But it's not my duty tonight! I'm breaking rules as much as you are!"

Sirius jumped down from the window-seat as well, quickly shaking out the Cloak. He gestured for Briar to get closer, and he quickly threw it over both of them just as footsteps could be heard on the stairs to the Astronomy Tower. Briar hunched her shoulders together, trying to fit under the cloak while at the same time not touching Black.

"Our feet aren't hidden!" Sirius muttered, noticing that Briar was standing too far away from him. The Cloak was riding up and their feet were clearly showing. He grabbed her by the shoulder, pulling her so that she was standing just in front of him, her back against his chest. He kept his hands on her upper arms to hold her in place, and then bent his knees slightly so that the Cloak touched the ground.

"Anyone here? It's past curfew, you shouldn't be out!" Ferns yelled, his footsteps getting louder. He appeared on the stairs, the large, blonde seventh-year Ravenclaw looking confused. "I swear, I heard voices..."

Ferns continued up the stairs and the platinum blonde backed away quickly, horrified that he would brush past her. Sirius stumbled and his back hit the wall. He was pressed between it and Briar, who couldn't take a step forward for fear of brushing against Ferns. The prefect glanced around once, still unconvinced, before slowly heading back down the stairs.

Once he was gone, Briar realized that she was pressing Sirius back against the wall. She pulled the Cloak off herself and stepped away from him, giving him room to breathe.

"Didn't know you were so eager to get me up against the wall, D'Alessio," Sirius said, grinning. Briar shook her head, breathing heavily and looking horrified.

"Shut up. That was terrifying!"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about? The worst he could have done if he'd seen us was give us a detention. That's hardly a life-threatening situation."

Briar frowned. "Maybe for people like you. I've never gotten detention, nor do I plan to. And you realize that Ferns is one of the biggest mouths this school has? All of Hogwarts would have gotten some awful, exaggerated story about how he caught us both in the Astronomy Tower. Our reputations would be ruined."

"I wouldn't be so sure. I think I'd get a little more respect from the boys on the Quidditch team if they thought I'd shagged a Slytherin... Serious stuff, that. Not everyone can manage it," Sirius joked, but he saw that Briar was glaring at him darkly. "What? I was just messing around with you."

"Well, it wasn't funny. I don't consider this a joke, Black. Why is it that I always seem to get caught in all the wrong situations with you?"

Sirius shrugged. "Perhaps life is trying to drop you a hint, Rosie. Ever thought of it that way?"

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sheesh, that's a long one,, honestly i'm just happy that the four police officers that murdered george floyd are all getting charged but this is only the beginning, there's still so much more to do for the black community <3
in other news,, sirius and briar are getting closer 😭

━━ sel 💖💕💓💗💓💞