Chapter 6
Chapter 6 | Photographer
"Sabay na tayo kay Jam," I convinced Ji for the nth time.
Ayaw niya kasing sumabay dahil nahihiya raw siya kay Jam. They barely talked to each other but that wasn't enough as an excuse. Maaari naman silang maging friends if only Ji would try and eat with us.
"Ayaw ko nga, dito na lang ako," Ji almost cried that made me laugh.
"Hinihintay na tayo ni Jam, oh! Promise, maganda group of friends niya!" mas pinag-igihan ko pa.
"Nahihiya ako."
"Bakit, crush mo?" I teased her and made her face red.
Ang fishy, ha!
"Hindi!" agad niyang deny.
"Oh, sige, kung hindi talaga e 'di sumama ka," I challenged her.
Jijinia groaned in frustration as she grabbed her wallet and phone. Wala sa sarili siyang sumabay sa akin palabas.
Ngiting ngiti akong lumapit sa grupo ni Jam, most of them were guys from the next room lang. Kilala rin namin sila dahil mga active sa school activities.
After kasi ng Oscars namin sa english, naging friend ko na si Jam. Madalas na akong sa kanila sumabay dahil magaganda talaga silang maging kaibigan.
They were those few guys who never tried pursuing me at never din akong naging crush. Mas comfortable dahil hindi sila judgemental. Sila rin iyong mga lalaking "study first" ang motto kaya na sa tamang grupo ako.
They welcomed us warmly and even tried joking around. Jijinia started to cool down as well. People may think that these guys had no comedian genes dahil puro libro lang ang kaharap but swear, they were the wittiest guys I've ever encountered.
"Last minute na kasi no'n tapos hindi ko matandaan paano i-solve 'yong last problem," kuwento ni Kiyo, "itong si Loui nagmagandang loob na pakopyahin ako."
"Oh? Iyon naman pala, bakit hindi ka pa rin tumama?" Jam asked between his chuckles.
"Tangina kasing hand writing 'yan," malutong na mura ni Kiyo na aming kinatawa, "putangina talaga, kahit kayo mapapamura."
"Wala kang utang na loob, ikaw na nga ang pinakopya," Loui tried saving his damn hand writing.
"Tangina wala akong maintindihan," Kiyo ranted, "hindi ko naman siya matanong dahil maririnig kami."
"Dapat minali ng nag-check 'yong papel ni Loui, e," Nicholas joked.
"Naintindihan ni ma'am ang sulat ko kaya hindi pangit 'yon, okay? Mga inggit palibhasa walang sagot," Loui laughed.
Buong break time ay nagtawanan lamang kami at kumain. Sabay-sabay din kaming bumalik sa floor ng aming classrooms since na sa iisang floor lang naman.
The guys were now silent because some classes already started. Jijinia was still red, I wasn't sure if it was because of the sisig's hotness or something else.
"Wala si sir, may inaasikaso raw sa office," a classmate of ours informed us while we were taking the stairs.
"Oh, okay," I simply replied and continued walking up.
The next thing we saw was a hundred percent unexpected. I wasn't able to move a muscle seeing Jez holding a big bouquet of flowers mixed with chocolates, uso ito sa Facebook dahil may mga online sellers na nagp-personalize.
Sa kanyang kaliwang kamay, hawak naman siya ang isang malaking pastel pink unicorn stuff toy. I remembered saying that I wanted a unicorn toy before, last year pa 'yon. I didn't know what to feel, he wasted money just for this surprise.
I heard our classmates teasing us, they were uncontrollable. Lahat ay excited sa pakulo ni Jez, the next section had no class din kaya nakichismis.
"Naks, surprise," tukso ni Jam sa aking gilid.
Jijinia slightly pushed me to walk. I looked at her to seek help because I had no idea of what I should do.
Ever since the Oscars, hindi na rin kami nagpansinan ni Jez. I didn't bother asking about us because in the first place, wala namang kami.
Second, I badly wanted this to be over na rin so I thought the way he'd been acting was a sign for me to stop caring.
Hindi ko talaga inakalang may balak pa siyang isurpresa ako ngayong wala na akong paki-alam.
"Mika, sorry natagalan. I ordered these things online kasi, the first attempt failed dahil ang bilis maubos nitong chocolate bouquet. The unicorn toy came overseas pa kaya natagalan sa shipping," he chuckled.
Hindi naman ako totally walang puso, a part of me felt guilty hearing those words from him. Out of all my suitors, siya na siguro ang pinaka-nag-effort. The look on his eyes were hopeful but I noticed Queen behind him, acting like a supportive friend.
God, their actions were too confusing.
"Saka nitong nakaraan, sinadya kong hindi ka pansinin dahil alam kong pagod at busy ka," he kept reasoning when the truth was, I knew better.
Third, I kept seeing him with Queen accidentally. Natural pa sana if kasama ang iba niyang kaibigan pero 'yong uwian na tapos silang dalawa lang sa 7/11?
'Yong wala naman kaming group practices pero nakita ko siya sa my story ng isang kaklase ni Queen na present sa practice nila? I even caught him holding Queen's hands habang naglalakad sila patungo sa classroom ni Queen.
Sinong niloloko niya? The guilt I felt earlier faded after those memories knocked my senses.
My face remained blank and emotionless as I waited for him to ask the final question. Ang dami pa niyang nirason ngunit hindi naman ako tanga para paniwalaan pa iyon.
Kahit mali pa ang mga nakita ko, hindi na rin niya mababago pa ang aking desisyon. This courtship was supposed to be over long ago, tumagal lang dahil akala ko, kaya ko na ring magseryoso. Aminado rin akong may naging pagkakamali rin ako kaya siguro, mas mabuti nang malaman niya ang totoo.
"Will you be my girlfriend?" Jez sincerely asked.
I glanced at Queen who was also anticipating my answer. Nagsigawan ang aming mga kaklase ng, "Oo na 'yan! Oo na 'yan!"
Jez's friends were also hyped up and expecting that this day would turn out great.
I didn't bother to smile as I bravely answered, "No."
"Hoy, ssh! Wait, wait! Ano 'yon?" Heiko tried calming them.
"I said no," mas malakas na ngayon.
"Huh?" was their only expression.
"Mika, grabe naman! Nag-effort na 'yong tao," someone tried to joke.
I watched how Jez's smile slowly faded and Queen was shocked by my answer.
"I can't be your girlfriend, Jez. The bouquet looks nice, the unicorn is cute but no thank you. I've been thinking about this for quite a long time. I kept giving you chances because I thought I'd be persuaded to be in a relationship na. You were good to me and so ideal but I realized, my mind only showed me what I dreamed of you to be."
"I'm still not up to serious relationships yet and I don't want to settle with you. If I say yes to this kahit na labag sa aking loob, things might be worse in the future. I might hurt you more or vice versa. Don't take this too badly, maybe I'm just not right for you," I told him.
"Lastly, I think someone will be happy now that you're finally free from me. I don't usually put meaning on things but I can now feel that you're into someone else. Hindi masama ang loob ko, wala na rin akong paki—"
"Ano bang pinagsasabi mo, Mika? Wala namang iba," he sadly asked.
I couldn't control my eyes from rolling over.
"Whatever, my decision is final. The show's over," I stated with finality and turned my back on them.
Umabot ang balitang iyon sa iba't ibang sections ng aming grade level since before, I used to be their friend and Jez was naturally known sa school. Jijinia told me that we were the topic of our old classmates and kahit sa section no'ng Queen.
Sa room naman, Jez purposely avoided me in everything. Ayos lang naman iyon sa akin dahil bawas effort sa part ko, siya na kasi ang kumusa. Hati ang opinion ng aming classmates sa nangyari, some of them somehow hated what I did while others understood my point.
I had nothing to explain more, bahala na silang mag-isip ng gusto nilang paniwalaan. Sabi nga, kahit gaano karami pang tao ang nakapalibot sa 'yo, sa huli'y sarili mo lang ang kakampi mo.
"Kumusta, Mika?" Loui asked me while we were eating.
"Ayos lang naman ako, bakit?" I chuckled.
"Wala lang, para kasing 'di ka madaldal ngayon," he said.
I shrugged and continued eating my adobo. Nakinig ako sa kanilang mga pinag-usapan at minsa'y nakitawa. Jijinia was beside me with her burger, I saw how she wrapped it again upang hindi langawin o anoman.
"Okay ka lang?" she asked me.
I nodded and simply said, "Oo nga, bakit ba feeling ninyo hindi ako okay? Hindi ko naman first time mapag-usapan. Sa ganda kong 'to?"
Jijinia rolled her eyes, unimpressed by what I said.
"Tutal ikaw naman ang pinag-uusapan ng mga team Jez, spill mo naman sa 'min kung sino 'yong someone na tinutukoy mo," Jam suggested.
I chuckled, "Chismoso rin kayo, 'no?"
"Not really, more on curious lang," Nicholas tried to make the term beautiful.
"Chismoso talaga kayo," I laughed.
"So sino nga? Kilala mo ba, Ji?" Jam asked.
Jijinia only shrugged and proceeded to eat.
"Give him a week," I told them.
"Gano'n ka kasigurado?" tawa ni Loui.
"Wanna bet?" hamon ko.
"Masama 'yan," Nicholas hissed, "magkano?"
Tuluyan akong natawa sa sinabi ni Nicholas.
"Sino ba kasi, kahit clue?" Jam kept asking.
"Basta, the girl was one of the crowd noong surprise," I told them.
"Oh, shit," Nicholas cursed.
"May idea ka kung sino?" Jam sounded intrigued.
"Wala," tawa ni Nicholas ngunit agad ding sumimangot nang batukan ni Jam.
Lumipas ang isang linggo at hindi nga ako nagkamali. Hindi matigil ang aking halakhak nang pinanood ang instagram story ni Jez.
The location was at Queen's group practice. Sa story niya ay nakasandal ang kanilang ulo sa isa't isa, he even captioned, "My queen".
The next story was only two minutes ago. He took a picture of Queen without her knowing, Queen was eating her ice cream. They were probably at 7/11 again, naging dating place na yata. Another caption, "kyot naman ng reyna ko".
Geez, I couldn't stop laughing my ass out, hindi naman ako bitter. Natuwa pa nga ako dahil tama ang aking hinala.
Ngiting ngiti ako sa pagpasok at mas naging active pa ako sa recitations ngayong araw. I was back in my normal state and those people who sided Jez seem surprise seeing me act this way.
"Ang bilis talagang mag-move on, parang hangin lang niyang tinrato si Jez," I heard from somewhere.
"Dami na rin kasing naging manliligaw, immune na yata."
I only chuckled and didn't bother thinking of their opinions again. Mas mabilis ngang naka-move on ang bata nila dahil may bago agad.
Noong nag-recess ay sabay kami ni Ji bumaba, wala iyong tatlo dahil nauna na raw sila sa usual table namin. Isang buong rice meal ngayon ang binili ko sa canteen dahil sa tuwa. Dala ni Ji ang aming tubig at ang kanyang pinakamamahal na burger.
"Emergency meeting!" Jam announced and even tapped Ji's burger na parang button sa Among Us.
I noticed they were also wearing different colors of hoodies. Jam was black, Nicholas wore white and Loui wore his usual yellow jacket. Hindi na naman mapigil ang aking halakhak, mga mukhang seryoso pa sila.
"Oh, ano? Naniwala na kayo?" I mocked.
"Predicted mo na talaga?" Jam asked me, I nodded.
"Iyon pala 'yong babae. Kaya pala gano'n 'yong mukha noong tinanong ka ni Jez," Nicholas commented.
"Buti na lang at hindi ka nagpasindak sa pa-bouquet at unicorn ni Jez," halakhak ni Loui.
"Duh," I uttered, "I can buy my own anyway."
"That's the spirit!" Jam encouraged me, "and I'm amazed on how you felt it. Sabagay, hindi rin talaga magiging healthy ang relasyon ninyo if a part of Jez's love is for another. Pangit ng may kahati."
"Wow, based on experience, Jam?" I teased.
"Chismosa ka na rin?" he mocked.
"Matagal na, 'di ka aware?"
"Suntukan," Loui cheered kaya siya ang pabirong sinapak ni Jam, "tangina naman, napakabrutal mo."
"Mika, una na ako sa taas. Not quite feeling well," Jijinia told me.
"Oh?" gulat kong wika.
"I'll assist you," Jam offered.
"No, I can handle it," Ji said and stood up.
Jam looked at me and asked, "Samahan ko, ha?"
Tumango na lamang ako dahil nag-alala rin sa kaibigan. If only I wasn't eating, sumabay na ako kay Ji.
"Is Jijinia really that silent? I mean, we've been interacting for the whole month pero parang 'di pa rin siya sanay," Nicholas asked me.
I smiled, "She's silent most of the time but marunong naman siyang makisama. Deep inside her head, tumatawa 'yon."
"Sabagay, saka baka hindi pa siya komportable sa amin," Loui stated.
"Right, she used to be close with Jez's friends din kasi noong nililigawan pa ako. I mean, ganito rin siya makitungo noon sa kanila pero feeling ko naging comfortable na rin siya with them," I said my thoughts.
"Have you asked her if she's fine with us? Baka naman kasi napipilitan lang siya rito dahil sa 'yo at baka sa friends talaga ni Jez niya gustong sumama," Nicholas stated.
"Well... right, I'll ask her," I trailed off because I never really thought about it.
Nasanay na siguro akong nagsasabi si Jijinia kapag ayaw niya ang isang bagay, maybe I should start asking her more from now on, baka kasi nadadala lang ng hiya kaya hindi niya ma-open up.
Nang natapos ang break time, sabay kaming tatlong bumalik sa floor. Hindi na kasi bumalik pa si Jam, na-curious tuloy ako kung anong ginawa nila ni Jijinia.
"Na saan si Ji?" I asked Jam, naka-upo siya sa kanyang puwesto at tahimik na gumagawa ng kung ano.
"Huh?" para bang natauhan siya, "she was here minutes ago."
"Hindi mo napansin?" I asked again.
Umiling lamang siya at bumalik sa sinusulat. I left his sight to find Jijinia. Una kong ni-check sa girl's comfort room ngunit wala. Imposibleng bumalik pa iyon sa canteen dahil ang layo ng lalakarin. I went to the other side of the building. May hagdan din sa dulo nito ngunit hindi madalas gamitin.
"I told you, Mikasha knew there was something up between you and Queen. Sa una ka pa denial na wala, na friends lang kayo sabay ngayon, Jez? Ano ba? Member ka ba ng samahan ng mga sad boys?" I heard Jijinia angrily spitting facts.
"Anong gusto mong gawin ko, Ji? Magmukmok? Is that what you expect me to act? Or ang lumuhod pa sa harap ni Mikasha para humingi ng second chance? Siya nga 'tong laging kasama si Jam—"
"Turning tables now, aren't we? I told you, they're only friends. I confirmed it a hundred times already. Porke't pumatol ka sa dapat na friends lang ay ibigsabihin, gano'n din si Mikasha," Jijinia argued.
"Don't put the blame on Mikasha, gago ka talaga. Ikaw 'tong unang kumaliwa habang nanliligaw ka pa. Wala na sana akong paki kung magiging kayo man ni Queen in the near future but I didn't expect that it would be this near! Hindi mo man lang pinatagal ng isang buwan," she added.
"Oh, e 'di sorry. Pasensya ka na dahil ang perfect mo kasi sa relasyon, pasensya ka na kasi naiintindihan mo ang nararamdaman ko. Queen is here for me unlike Mikasha, siya pa lagi ang dapat kong paki-usapan—"
"Can you not compare them? Can you hear yourself, Jez? Sure, you're down because of Mika's response but hindi tamang gumamit ng ibang tao para lang maka-move on. If you're so sure of Queen, then fine. If you're only using her to fill the empty space Mika has left, then fuck you," Jijinia fired.
"This will be the last time I'm talking to you, Jez. Naiintindihan naman kita pero ito, hindi ko na talaga alam. You're becoming someone you're not and I don't have the energy to preach. Lastly, I pity Queen. Did she run out of options at talagang pumayag maging rebound mo?" Jijinia mocked with a chuckle.
"Hindi ko siya rebound—"
"Whatever, keep denying until your last breath, Jez. Goodbye," Jijinia enunciated.
I faced Jijinia with a wide smile plastered on my face when she took a turn. She grinned and held my right hand, we walked away together.
Noong nag-Sabado, niyaya ako ni mama sumama sa kanyang trabaho. She noticed I was a bit stressed because of school and she wanted me to loosen up a bit.
I actually wanted to go somewhere to release stress but I was too lazy to go out, I thought my bed would be the best comfort... so when mom suggested that, I immediately agreed.
Hindi niya naman ako totally sinama sa office kasi hello, anong gagawin ko ro'n? I wasn't fond of business anyway. She dropped me off sa Mall of Asia because I thought of trying the rides.
"Mikasha," she called me before I went out of the car.
"Po?"
"Use this card kapag sasakay ka na sa free bus ng Trojan. Makikita mo naman ang schedule ng bus sa station and sa mismong mga banner ng mall. The bus will take you sa Troyen," she handed me a card mixed with gold and black colors.
"Okay? Is the bus for free?" I asked.
"Yes, anak. Makasasakay ka naman doon kahit walang iyang card but they prioritize those with membership cards kasi. That isn't a membership card, ha. That's a rare card from the Troyen's president. I let you borrow it para ikaw ang top priority ng bus," she informed me.
My mouth literally formed like a zero because of shock.
"Wow? Thanks, iingatan ko 'to, ma!" I laughed.
Mabuti na lamang at hapon na ako pumunta. Hindi na gaanong kasakit sa balat ang sikat ng araw. I first explored MOA's bay side dahil nandoon ang mga rides.
I just realized that I wouldn't be able to try everything dahil karamihan ay extreme rides. Naka-off shoulder black dress pa akong above the knee ang haba. Pa-v pa ang cut ng off shoulder kaya exposed ang itaas na parte ng aking dibdib.
Inuna pa kasi ang porma, Mika, jusko.
In the end, I tried Vikings. May harang naman and mahabang kapitan sa lap kaya hindi liliparin ang aking palda. Madami akong nakasama sa ride at halos lumabas ang kanilang mga lalamunan kasisigaw.
Na sa gilid lamang ako ng pinakamataas na seat ng Vikings at tahimik na napangiti dahil sa mga kasama. Kitang kita ko pa 'yong isang lalaki na kanina ang yabang, ngayon tila ba kukunin na ni Lord.
I roamed my eyes around the view especially when the boat finally brought us to its peak. The view below was mesmerizing, the wind was warming and I felt like I was at the top of the world. I even managed to take pictures, sayang din kasi ang oppurtunity.
I badly wanted to try the ride na iniikot-ikot ka sa ere if only I wore better clothes. Last stop ko ang ferris wheel dahil nabitin akong mag-pictorial sa Vikings.
Mabuti na lamang at couple ang aking na sa likuran sa pila, they didn't want to be in the same ride with me. Pinilit pa kasi no'ng staff na sumama na sila dahil nag-iisa lang naman ako.
May air conditioner sa loob ng ferry kaya hindi mainit. I immediately took shots of me and the view, sayang naman ang porma kung hindi mapakikinabangan.
I suddenly envied the couple kasi si girl, may instant photographer... but anyway, I was pretty enough kaya the pictures turned out good.
Nang napagod sa rides, I sat above the bay's boarder and silently observed the sea. Tanaw ko ang ibang mga yacht at ship, the waves were only small.
A lot of families gathered kaya kahit saan ako tumingin ay puro pamilya ang nakikita. Everytime I'd see a complete family, I couldn't help but to ask what if we were also like that. May parte pa rin sa aking naiinggit at nangungulila kahit ilang taon ko na itong tanggap.
Seeing kids getting teased by their fathers, babies clinging around their fathers' neck, holding your fathers' hand to avoid getting lost—god, those were the smallest details I never experienced.
I smiled sadly as I watched them, at least some people were given the chance to spent happy times with their complete families.
The sea now looked sadder as I realized how lonely my life was without my mother.
Hindi naman nagkulang si mama sa akin but unlike ordinary mothers, she taught me how to be independent. How to manage my emotions well, how to think critically, how to empower myself and having confidence.
Hindi ko pa masasabi ngayong ganap na akong natuto mula sa kanya ngunit pakonti-konti ay natututo ako. Pareho rin kaming career oriented, ngayon pa lang ay iniisip ko na ang kursong puwede kong kunin. I had a lot of options in mind, I just needed to finalize.
Around six of the evening, I ate at Burger King. After eating alone, I roamed around the mall checking clothes that caught my attention.
Ang gaganda sanang bilhin kaso tuwing binabasa ko ang presyo ay napapapikit na lamang ako.
Last stop ko ay sa Watsons, tamang bili lang ng mga kaartehan sa katawan. Jijinia used to tease me of being maarte pero aminado naman ako kaya salamat na lang ang lagi kong sagot noon.
She stopped teasing me when I noticed she tried a brand I suggested to her.
Thankfully a staff was patient enough to answer and guide me through buying accurate brands suited for me.
Then at exactly seven, I went to the bus station. May sariling waiting area ang bus ng Troyen, gano'n din para sa ibang casino rito sa Manila.
I went near the guard who was responsible of the line, I showed him the card my mother said and he immediately accommodated me. Tama nga ang sinabi ni mama, pang-ultra super mega VIP nga ito.
I texted mom while I was in the bus. Later on, the bus dropped us in front of an elegant entrance, may texts sa itaas ng doors na "The Fountain Foyer". Ito siguro ang nakuwento sa akin ni mama'ng nagbago sa Troyen.
I went inside, there were green plants that added so much aesthetics. The place was somehow dimmed yet enough to please the human eyes. I took the path patungo sa lobby to temporarily leave my things, I didn't want to carry a Watsons bag around.
The hallway that led me to the lobby was painted in pink and white. May mahahaba pang expensive floor mats. As I looked up, fancy gold chandeliers satisfied my sight. May iba't ibang paintings and artsy designs na nakasabit sa walls.
If only I had someone to take pictures of me, god!
The lobby was also breath taking. I couldn't remember it was this way before since noong opening ay hindi ko naman ito nalibot. Beside the lobby was the entrance sa casino.
Mabilis akong nagtungo sa front desk upang i-surrender ang aking gamit. The staff gave me a respective number card to use later. Tinago ko ito sa aking maliit na shoulder bag at excited umalis sa lobby.
I literally had no idea where on earth I was but I first went at the fountain. Sumakto kasing magsisimula na ito nang nadaanan ko ang entrance.
The fountain was literally huge, malaki rin ang space to watch it kaya kahit marami akong kasabay manood ay hindi siksikan.
I was jamming along with the song I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing as the waters danced and changed colors accordingly.
The night sky was perfect as well to watch the dancing fountains. May mga instances na bahagya akong dinapuan ng tubig dahil sa hangin ngunit overall, it was a relaxing experience.
Nang bumalik ako sa loob, I continued walking along with other people. Marami akong nadaanang fancy restaurants, hindi naman talaga ako interesado ngunit may isang bagay ang nakakuha ng aking atensyon.
I had to blink several times to confirm if it was Trojan I saw inside. Mabuti na lamang at sobrang linis ng glass window at maliwanag sa loob ng restaurant kaya hindi ako nagkamali. Siya nga!
But sadly, he wasn't alone. He was with another two guys and beside him was a chubby girl. May mga babae ring dala iyong mga kasama niya so maybe they were in a date.
I chuckled bitterly.
Date.
Ang sosyal ng date, hindi naman magtatagal.
I tried diverting my mind into some places, tutal maraming magagandang tanawin dito sa loob. I shouldn't care if Trojan's still dating other girls, I mean, buhay niya 'yon... and before, I used to date guys as well, natigil na nga lang ngayon.
I unintentionally hit the left side of my brain using my left hand, para kasing may kababalaghang sumagi rito.
Anong iniisip mo, Mikasha? That you finally quitted dating other guys because you see yourself loyal to the boy who never even saw you as his type?
"My god, Mika, level up!" I talked to myself.
Dapat talaga'y may sinama akong kaibigan to keep me sane. Pakiramdam ko, I couldn't survive another hour if anything related to this thought would cross my mind again.
Nilibot ko ang lugar hanggang sa napagod na rin ako. I let myself sat on one of the available benches and manipulated my phone.
Sumaktong may message sa akin si mama at sinabi niyang na sa on-going meeting siya. Baka raw around ten or eleven pa matapos. I checked the time and it was nine of the evening. Ang sakit na ng paa ko at tila pa inaantok na.
Nang nakapagpahinga ay napagpasyahan kong bumili ng kape upang magising ang diwa. I purposely slowed down eating my cinnamon roll para mas makatambay pa sa coffee shop. May free wifi rin kasi kaya I posted some of my pictures.
Around ten thirty na ako umalis sa coffee shop dahil kanina ko pa ramdam ang titig ng isang staff, para bang konti na lang ay hilahin niya ako palabas.
I texted mom if the meeting had ended. Muli akong umupo sa bakanteng bench habang hinintay ang reply ni mama. Dulot ng paghihintay, hindi ko napigilang pumikit at hayaan ang ulo sa pagsandal.
I didn't mind if people would see me, tutal wala rin namang masyadong dumadaan sa parteng ito. Plus, maganda pa rin naman ako kahit nakapikit.
"Miss."
Ramdam kong inalog ako ng gagong 'to.
"Miss," muli niyang tawag.
"Miss, gising," mas mariin niyang tawag sa akin ngayon.
I frowned and slowly opened my eyes. A man in his guard uniform showed up in front of me, he looked strict but I was more furious.
"Miss, bawal po kasing matulog dito," may diin niyang sabi, "kung gusto ninyong matulog, mag-check in po kayo."
Ang sarap sumagot kung hindi lang ako pagod. Umirap na lamang ako at tumango upang umalis na siya sa aking harapan.
Ilang minuto ang lumipas nang napagpasyahan kong tingnan ang aking phone. Wala pa ring reply si mama, I started to be impatient. Eleven na ng gabi at seryosong inaantok na ako.
Tungkol saan ba iyong meeting at parang nag-story telling pa ang buong members?
Dulot ng paghihintay, muli na naman akong napapikit. This time, I only rested my eyes and back, hindi na talaga ako tulog.
"Miss—"
"Paki-usap naman, kuya, hindi ako tulog! Hinihintay ko lang ang nanay kong na sa meeting pa kasama si ma'am Olivia. Wala akong pera pang-check in at wala rin akong plano magtagal—"
"Lucio!" a very familiar voice called the guard.
Saka lamang ako dumilat at agad umupo nang maayos. Mabilis pa sa alas kuwatro ang aking paglingon kay Trojan na ngayo'y palapit na sa amin.
Nakakunot ang noo at bahagyang nakabukas ang bibig. His gold necklace was distracting.
Putangina, ang guwapo talaga.
"Sir Mikael," the guard acknowledged his presence.
"Ako na ang bahala rito, I know her," Trojan told him.
Lucio nodded once and immediately left us. Muli kong tiningnan si Trojan dahil baka may kasama pa siya, hindi ko lang napansin ngunit wala.
Trojan silently sat beside me, I didn't move a muscle. Agad kong naamoy ang kanyang pabango, I couldn't describe it in details but the scent suited him perfectly. Tipong amoy pa lang, masarap na.
"Why are you here?" I bravely asked him.
"Mom told me you're somewhere here. Tapos na ang meeting nila but they're currently playing inside the casino with some of the members," Trojan answered.
Napasampal na lamang ako sa aking noo at tinanong, "Anong oras pa sila matatapos? Sa pagkaka-alam ko, gising lahat ng tao rito kaya nga bawal akong matulog, 'di ba?"
Pasimple akong nagsungit upang may rason ako upang titigan siya.
Trojan chuckled, putangina bigla akong natunaw, "Your mom will probably leave later on."
I sighed and looked away when he caught my eyes. Sumandal na lamang ako muli at hindi nagsalita. Ito na naman ako sa walang masabi portion, kaya hindi ako umaasenso, e.
"Kanina ka pa nandito?" tamang tanong lang, nagbaka sakaling aamin siyang may date kanina.
"Yeah, earlier I was with my friends. We dated some girls and roamed around the casino," he answered honestly.
"Na saan na sila?" I asked, kunwari hindi interesado.
"The girls left early dahil may curfew. The two guys went to a party," kanyang sagot.
"Hindi ka sumama," I commented.
"Yeah, that's when mom told me you were here," he stated.
I glared at him and hissed, "Kasalanan ko pa?"
His brows furrowed again, "What? No, I didn't mean it that way."
Umirap ako at umiling na lamang.
"Also, the party is being held at my classmate's house. Medyo bad trip ako sa kanya kaya hindi talaga ko talaga binalak pumunta," he explained.
"Bakit ka nagpapaliwanag?"
"Para ka kasing galit," he chuckled again.
"Inaantok ako, hindi ako galit," I said.
"Okay, then," he trailed off, I glanced at him.
He tapped his right shoulder twice and told me, "Sleep on my shoulder. I promise, I won't move to make you comfortable."
Pasimple akong napalunok dahil ang tempting ng kanyang offer. Siya na ang nag-aya, sino ba ako para umayaw sa grasya?
"Baka may magalit," konting pakipot pa, Mikasha!
"Sino naman?" tawa niya.
Tanginang tawa 'yan, ang sarap sa tainga.
I shrugged, "Wala ba?"
"Wala naman," naguguluhan niyang sagot, "if you mean the girl I dated earlier, no, we aren't really something."
Bakit mo ni-date kung wala naman kayo? Paasa rin talaga 'tong isang 'to.
I held his left hand that was resting above his right shoulder and threw it to the side. Agad akong sumandal sa kanya na kanyang kinatawa. The way I felt his body vibrate when he laughed was such a blessing.
Ilang minuto ang lumipas at talagang hindi gumalaw ang loko. Saka lamang may sumagi sa aking isip.
I lifted my head na kanyang kinagulat. Kunwari'y natural ko lamang hinawakan ang kanyang braso. My eyes were directed at him, ready to say something. Tangina, ang tigas ng braso ng isang 'to.
"Tutal matagal pa si mama," I started, he was listening intently, "kanina pa kasi ako rito pero wala masyadong pictures ko."
He flashed his smirk, "Okay?"
"Take photos of me," I commanded him.
He laughed, he shut his eyes real close, his white teeth were such beauty. He ran his left hand through his hair.
Tangina, lahat talaga napapansin ko pagdating sa kanya.
"Seryoso ka ba? I don't have any experiences in photography," he chuckled.
"Seryoso ako. Ang dami kong nadaanang magagandang parts dito, I can't go home without souvenirs," I answered him.
"Saka ang ganda ng dress ko, oh?" sinadya kong haplusin iyong v cut sa aking dibdib, his eyes darted there as well.
Tangina, ang masunurin naman ng mga mata nito.
"Fine," he answered and looked away.
"Yehey!"
Agad akong tumayo at gano'n din siya. Inabot ko sa kanya ang aking phone ngunit nang nakita niya ang battery percentage nito ay binalik niya.
"Low battery na phone mo, keep it, you still need to communicate with your mother," he told me.
I was about to speak when he immediately spoke again, "I'll use my phone, then transfer ko na lang sa 'yo."
Putangina.
Sa phone niya ako kukuhanan.
"S-Sige, ikaw bahala," I uttered.
Putangina, bakit nauutal, Mikasha?
He smiled and even had the guts to show me his gallery. He kept scrolling it until it reached the top. Puro mga notes sa school at litrato niya lamang ang aking nakita.
I somehow expected to see photos of girls, sa dami ba naman ng nilandi nito, pero wala. Kahit litrato mula kanina sa kanilang date ay wala.
"You're the first," he whispered against me.
I chuckled to hide my fluttered expression. I didn't want to assume anything but this guy was making me feel hopeful.
"You probably deleted them beforehand," I said back.
He chuckled too, "Most of my exes' complaints are: why don't we take a photo of us with your phone? If this ain't enough reason for you to believe, then you'll see later. I told you, I suck at photography because I haven't tried it on anyone."
Ngumiti pa ang loko na parang nanunukso.
Umirap ako upang itago ang nararamdaman. Mabuti na lamang at may nakita na akong magandang spot. I went there and he followed.
And there, I knew. He really sucked at this... but what made me fully happy was that he tried to be my photographer.
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