Chapter 26 | Damage

My mind couldn't process what happened next. Pirad silently treated my wounded fingers while I remained frozen as if time stood still. The noise I last heard from our call kept repeating as if I memorized it my entire life. Wala akong ni-isang maisip na rason at mas lalong ayaw kong isiping may masamang nangyari.

"What exactly did your Mom tell you before the call ended?" Pirad asked softly after he wrapped band-aids on my fingers.

I levelled my eyes on him. Hindi ko eksaktong maalala ang huling mga binilin ni Mama dahil wala na roon ang isip ko. Tahimik lamang akong nakatitig kay Pirad ngunit pakiramdam ko'y mawawalan na ako ng malay anomang oras. I couldn't feel my legs. My chest was heavy. I couldn't hear my heartbeat. Every hallow spaces inside me felt cold.

Pirad sighed. "I have no idea what's happening, but we must handle this calmly. Mika, pick yourself up and remember your mother's words."

I knew he was right, but my system couldn't function. Sa muling pagtama ng aming mga mata, sinubukan kong pakalmahin ang sarili. I closed my eyes and tried to perform a basic breathing exercise I learned from our Physical Education class. Hindi ko alam kung naging epektibo ba talaga iyon ngunit pakonti-konti'y naramdaman ko na ang aking mga binti–ngunit ang bigat sa aking dibdib ay tila ba hindi na mawawala.

I opened my eyes and saw Pirad patiently waiting. Hindi niya pa rin inaandar ang kotse at mukhang mahihirapan din kaming bumalik sa kalsada sa sobrang traffic.

"Ang... naaalala ko lang ay pinapauwi niya ako para kumuha ng mga document," I said as I tried to recall everything. "P-Parang aalis na yata kami pa-Batangas ngayon."

"Okay, then let's start with that–"

"Pero Pirad, pakiramdam ko may masama talagang nangyari kay Mama sa daan. Bigla na lang kasing may sasakyan tapos–"

"If ever... If something terrible happens, we'll know once you finish what your mother asked you to do. Isa-isahin natin, Mika. Wala rin tayong alam ngayon kung na saan ang Mama mo," Pirad said.

My eyes widened when somehow his words enlightened me.

"K-Kung gano'n, uuwi muna ako sa amin."

Pirad nodded and maneuvered the car. "Ihahatid na kita, Mika."

I appreciate Pirad's efforts to be here with me during this time, but my mind was restless. Hindi ko mapigilang isipin na ang mga susunod na gagawin. Bakit kaya biglaan ang paglipat namin ngayong gabi? Paniguradong may rason si Mama, iyon nga lang ay hindi niya nasabi sa akin sa tawag dahil nagmamadali siya.

Tahimik kami ni Pirad sa biyahe kahit halos hindi na gumalaw ang traffic. Malalim ang isipan ko dahil wala akong matukoy na dahilan ni Mama. Payapa na ang buhay namin at nawalan na ng problema mula noong bumukod. Mom had a stable job, and I did everything I wanted in my life. I couldn't think of any trigger to mess our lives now.

Halos mapatalon ako nang biglang nag-ring ang phone ni Pirad. It was an incoming call from an unregistered number–no, more like from a hotline. I glanced at Pirad from the mirror and caught him peeking back.

"I transferred your sim on my phone in case someone calls or messages you again. Non-functional na ang phone mo. Hindi mo ata napansin kanina. That call's probably for you, so answer it."

My lips parted. I wanted to thank Pirad for doing that, but I feared losing the call.

"Hello po?" I picked up the call.

There was something eerie about the call. Wala pang sinasabi ang taong nasa kabilang linya ngunit pakiramdam ko mawawalan na ako ng hininga. Hindi nakatulong ang matagal na pagsalita ng katawagan ko. May konting background noise akong narinig ngunit hindi iyon klaro para maintindihan.

"Hello, Ma'am? Si Mikasha Duran po ba ito?" A woman asked.

"Yes po. Sino po sila?"

I bit my lower lip as I anticipated her response. "Ma'am, kaano-ano po kayo ni Ma'am Sabrina Duran?"

"Anak niya po. Na saan po ang Mama ko?"

"Nasa MMH po si Ma'am Sabrina ngayon. Kung maaari po ay pumunta kayo ngayon dito."

"MMH?"

"It's a private hospital nearby," Pirad whispered. "Shit."

"S-Sige po, papunta na po ako," I absentmindedly said.

I dropped the call and turned to Pirad. "Daanan muna natin, Pirad–"

"Yes, I'm on it," he said, trying to remain calm.

Napasandal na lamang ako at kahit pa gustuhin kong umiyak sa sobrang gulo ng nararamdaman, hindi ko magawa dahil walang niisang luha ang gustong tumakas sa aking mga mata–na parang pati sila ay pagod na.

"I hope it's not that bad," I whispered a prayer.

"Malapit lang dito ang MMH. We just need to take a right turn to the next street. I cannot reassure you that things will be fine, but let's hope for the better, Mika."

I wearily smiled. I appreciated Pirad's help. He wasn't responsible for going this far to help me, but at the same time, I couldn't imagine what I would be if he weren't here.

"Thank you."

"No problem, Mika. You're a friend, after all. No matter what happens, I'll try to help."

As I walked through the seemingly endless corridors of the hospital, my mind was blank, and my heart felt empty. The journey to get here had been grueling, with traffic delaying us by almost an hour and a half. The reception's wall clock served as a stark reminder of the time lost. The hospital was eerily quiet, yet the atmosphere was nerve-wracking, as if it was holding its breath in anticipation of what would come.

The reception personnel noticed me, so I came near.

"Ah, nakatanggap po ako ng tawag kanina at sinabing nandito raw po ang Mama ko. Her name's Sabrina Duran–nandiyan na po ba sa records ninyo? Na saang kwarto po siya? Ano pong nangyari?"

The personnel seemed undisturbed by my questions. May tinawagan siya at sinabihang nandito na raw ang relative ng pasyenteng dinala sa emergency room. Siguro kung hindi pa ako kumalma kanina'y nagwala at umiyak na ako rito. Pakiramdam ko'y sobrang bagal ng oras kahit lumilipas naman ito.

"Ma'am, ito po ang data sheet ni Ma'am Sabrina. May iilang impormasyon pa po ritong kailangang fill up-an," a nurse showed up beside me.

Wala akong pakialam sa sinabi niya. "Na saan po ang Mama ko?"

"Kalilipat lang po sa kanya sa kwarto. Dalhin ko na po kayo roon, nandoon pa po ang doctor."

Thank goodness she thought of that! Akala ko'y ipipilit niya munang fill up-an ko ang form ni Mama. My utmost priority was Mom's condition. Wala akong pakialam sa ibang bagay hangga't hindi ko siya nakikitang nasa mabuting kalagayan.

Habang nasa elevator ay sinubukan kong tanungin ang kasamang nurse ngunit sinabi niya sa aking mabuting sa doctor ko na raw marinig ang lahat. Mabuti na lang at nasa gitnang palapag ang room ni Mama. Hindi ko na yata kakayanin pa kung matatagalan pa kami.

"Doc, may relative na po," the nurse said as we entered the room.

Kakaiba ang lamig sa loob ng kwarto ni Mama–iyong tipong parang alam ko na ang kahahantungan nito.

"Good evening, Ma'am," the doctor tried to greet with a smile.

Hindi na ako makasagot. Nakatitig na lamang ako sa mga kung ano-anong nakasabit sa paligid ni Mama at sa mga machine sa gilid ng kanyang kama. I was not knowledgeable about medical stuff and its purpose. Still, by looking at my mother, I knew this was beyond fixing.

Have you ever wondered what it feels like to have your life fall apart? To have everything you've ever known and loved be ripped away from you instantly? The moment my life started to crumble was the moment I realized all the things I held dear were slipping through my fingers.

"Hindi na po ako magpapaligoy-ligoy. The patient is in a severe condition po. She was sent here by ambulance, and we did our best to save her the past hour. This was all that we could do. Our current finding shows that the patient has serious cerebrum damage. This may lead to a vegetative state, meaning once na magising po si patient, maaaring comatose na siya."

Doon ako napatingin sa doctor. So my mother's still alive. Pinilit ko ang sariling intindihin lahat ng sinabi ng doctor. May iilang tests pa raw ang kailangang gawin para makumpirma kung ano ba talaga ang kalagayan ni Mama. Maaari pa nga raw incurable na ang natamong sakit ni Mama lalo na kung may ibang parte pang naapektuhan.

The doctor's sympathetic words were a balm to my aching soul as I sat there, feeling lost and hopeless. His compassionate gaze and gentle gestures encouraged me to keep going and hold on to hope even in the darkest moments. At that moment, I realized something profound: the fact that my dear mother was still alive was reason enough for me to keep pushing forward and fighting with all my might.

For her, I would do anything.

May panibagong personnel ang pumasok at dala niya ang mga gamit na dala raw ng ambulansya. Sabay-sabay silang nagpaalam sa akin kalaunan kaya hinayaan ko na silang umalis.

Hindi na akong nagdalawang isip pa sa gagawin. Lumapit ako sa bag ni Mama at binuksan iyon. Kung tama ang aking memorya, sinabi niya kaninang may dala siyang mga dokumento pero may iilan pang nasa bahay. Mabilis kong nakita ang mga dala niyang document at lahat ng iyon ay may kinalaman sa paglipat namin sa Batangas. Mom also had documents related to our finance. Hindi rin nawala ang mga valid ID at cards ni Mama.

I stood up straight and stared at my loving mother. Gustuhin ko mang manatili para bantayan siya, may bilin pa siyang kailangan kong gawin. Hindi niya naman iuutos iyon kung hindi importante. Pakiramdam ko rin ay sinasabihan niya akong kumilos na. Wala na rito ang phone ni Mama kaya hindi ko alam kung ano ba ang nangyari bago ang lahat ng ito.

"Babalik ako, Ma," I said before I forced myself to go out.

Nakasalubong ko ang nurse na kaninang nag-assist at sinenyasan ko lamang siyang lalabas ako. Sana'y medyo nabawasan na ang traffic para mabilis lang akong makauwi. Hindi ko alam kung nasa labas pa ba si Pirad dahil nawala na siya sa isip ko kanina. Sana lang ay nandiyan pa siya pero kung wala, sasakay na lang ako ng patok pauwi.

"Mika," Pirad caught my attention when he called.

Nakasandal siya sa kanyang kotse nang lumingon ako.

"Nandito ka pa," I said. "Sana umuwi ka na, Pirad."

He stood properly. "How's your Mom?"

I smiled. "She's in a critical condition, but she's alive. That's enough for me right now."

Pirad nodded and didn't ask further about it. "Where are you going? Sa bahay ba ninyo?"

"Oo. May aasikasuhin lang ako at babalik din dito."

"Samahan na kita," alok niya. "Swear, it's fine with me."

Nanlambot ako dahil kanina ko pa talaga nakikitang okay nga lang sa kanyang tumulong, pero pakiramdam ko'y inaabuso ko na ang kabaitan niya. Hindi rin naman kami sobrang close ni Pirad at si Trojan talaga ang kaibigan niya.

"Sure ka ba? Last na talaga 'to, Pirad. Sorry."

"No need to apologize, Mika," he smiled. "I... know the feeling of losing everything at once, so really, it's okay."

I nodded and went inside his car. Sa biyahe ay kinausap ko ang sarili na walang punto kung iiyak lang ako. Sapat nang buhay pa si Mama matapos ang nangyari. Pirad heard from the ambulance that what happened was a car accident.

The owner wasn't around when the ambulance came, but my Mom and her belongings were on the other side of the road. Those people had the time to move my mother but had no urge to help her. Kung napaaga pa ang punta niya sa hospital, mas naagapan sana.

Alam kong may paraan para mahanap ang may salarin at siya ang pagbayarin ngunit pakiramdam ko'y wala na akong lakas para pa gawin iyon. Ang priority ko ngayon ay ang naiwang responsibilidad ni Mama: trabaho niya at buhay namin sa Batangas.

Wala na akong oras para isipin kung sino ang nakabangga sa kanya kahit pa nag-uumapaw sa galit ang aking dugo. The police would probably interview me tonight or tomorrow for further investigation, so I'd leave that to their care. Sila na ang bahala kung makita man lang nila kriminal. Basta ako... buhay muna namin.

As I struggled to maintain my composure and retain a sense of rationality in the face of overwhelming stress, a new wave of challenges crashed over me.

"Tang ina talaga," mura ko nang nakita ang kalagayan ng aming bahay.

"Who the fuck would do this?"

Sa puntong ito, hindi na lungkot ang nararamdaman ko–galit na. May mga dilaw na tape na nakapalibot sa bahay namin at halos abo na lang ang natira sa mga gamit.

"Mikasha!" A neighbor approached me. "Nako, ang lakas ng sunog kanina sa bahay ninyo. May nakalimutan ba kayong tanggalin sa saksakan? Mabuti na lang at naagapan ng mga bumbero kaya hindi kumalat."

Kung isa sa mga gamit namin ang may problema, sana matagal na 'tong nangyari. Obviously, this was a fucking set up. Hindi ko nga lang alam kung sino. Wala akong ideya kung sinong maaaring gumawa nito sa amin at iyon ang nakakagalit dahil pakiramdam ko, napakawalang kwentang nandito pa ako! I went home to get our things and the other minor documents Mom wanted me to retrieve, but nothing was left.

"Na saan ba si Sabrina, Mika? Bakit ikaw pa lang ang umuwi?"

"Nasa hospital po si Mama. Babalik na po ako–"

"Nahospital ang Mama mo? Paano–"

"Okay lang po ako. Salamat po sa pag-aalala pero mauuna na po ako."

Tinalikuran ko na ang aming kapitbahay at nauna sa kotse. Kung tama ang hinala kong sinadya nga ito, ibig sabihin ay hindi na kami ligtas ni Mama rito sa Maynila. Paano ko naman kaya siya malilipat ng hospital? May hospital kaya roon na pareho ang facility sa MMH?

"Mika," Pirad called, pausing my thoughts. "Hindi mo man lang ba titingnan sa loob?"

"Wala na akong makikita roon, Pirad. Nakita mo naman ang nangyari–parang ayaw ng gumawa nito may matira sa gamit namin."

"How about this safe locker?"

Napalingon ako sa hindi pamilyar na lalaki. Nasa gilid siya ni Pirad at halos magkasingtakad lang sila. The guy was probably around my age and had a mischievous smirk.

"Sino 'to?" I asked Pirad.

Pirad sighed. "He's Shan, my brother. May inattend-an siyang birthday party ng kaklase rito."

"Hi, I'm Shan," he smiled. "Bahay niyo 'to? You know, I saw some suspicious men around it earlier. Hindi ko naman ugaling mag-akyat bahay pero pumasok ako sa inyo para kunin ang sa tingin ko'y mahahalagang bagay."

"What?" I asked, confused.

Unang una, ang layo ng personality niya kay Pirad para maging magkapatid sila. Pangalawa, ang laking coincidence naman nitong nandito siya sa village para pumarty tapos siya pa ang nakapansin sa mga may gawa nito sa bahay namin. Hindi ko alam kung sinusuwerte lang ba ako o...

"Anyway, this was all I could retrieve. Marami silang nakapasok na rin sa loob kanina na parang may hinahanap bago sunugin ang bahay ninyo," Shan said with a smile on his face.

How could I trust his words? I looked at Pirad.

"I've wanted to tell you this, but we must be here to confirm the truth. Minsan kasi nag-iimbento lang 'to ng kwento," Pirad said.

"Hindi naman ako mag-iimbento ng ganitong kwento, Kuya!"

Pirad dismissively nodded and turned to me. "Any plans?"