Chapter 16 | Respect

This was exactly the perfect example of why I never liked surprises.

I had no choice but to let him in!

Pareho na kaming na sa living room at pinanood ko lamang siyang magtanggal ng sapatos sa gilid.

I couldn't say anything! Literal na naka-white sando lang ako at pangbahay na shorts sa harap niya. Hindi ako komportableng gumalaw lalo na't siya pa ang naging bisita ko... out of nowhere!

"I'm thirsty," sabi niya sa akin nang natapos siya sa ginagawa.

Hala?

"I need water," dagdag niya sa sinabi.

Akala ko kung anong klaseng thirsty na 'yon, e.

"Pumunta ka lang ba rito para utusan ako?" hindi ako nagpaawat.

Alam kong dapat maging hospitable ako dahil bahay namin 'to at siya ay bisita pero hindi lang matanggap ng pride ko na pagsisilbihan ko siya kahit sa pagkuha ng tubig.

"No, I don't know where the water is."

"Na sa kitchen. Alam mo naman siguro ang kitchen, ano? Lakad ka lang ng diretso sa hallway na 'yan at 'di mo na lang mamamalayang na sa kitchen ka na. Hindi naman mansion 'tong bahay namin para maligaw ka pa," mariin kong sabi.

"Yeah, I know where the kitchen is. I've ate there before," masungit niya ring utas bago tuluyang kumuha ng tubig niya.

I quickly grabbed my phone to inform my mother about this. Kung na sa likod man siya ng misteryong ito... grabe na talaga! Ang tanging iniisip ko lamang ng posibleng dahilan ng lalaking 'to ay dahil sa prom.

But he clearly said that he didn't want to attend in the first place.

Ano ba talagang gusto nitong palabasin?

Umupo ako sa pinakadulong parte ng mahaba naming sofa. Ilang sandali ang lumipas nang bumalik na si Trojan sa sala at siya naman ang umupo sa kabilang dulo. We both stared at each other because no one wanted to speak first.

"Bakit ka nandito?" I initiated.

Paano kasi, ilang minute na ang dumaan at wala pa ring kumikibo sa amin. Kung staring contest lang pala ang pakay niya rito, nag-abala pa siya.

"It's Saturday," he replied.

Oh, tapos?

"Hindi ka aware na hindi ako tutuloy sa prom?"

His eyes remained on me as he answered, "Alam ko."

"Ano ba? Pwede bang diretsuhin mo na lang ako? Talaga bang kailangan kong magtanong muna?" I irritatingly hissed.

Para kasing tanga, wala naman kami sa Miss Q and A para sagutin ko siya ng tanong.

"I talked to your mother earlier. I asked about you," he explained.

"Then she told me that you already decided not to come to prom. Tinanong ko siya kung maayos na ba ang pakiramdam mo..."

Hindi, sumama ulit dahil nakita kita.

"Then your mother said yes... so I went here to see you. Don't worry, she knows."

Sabi ko na talaga, kasabwat si mama rito!

"Oh, ano na ngayon?" kunwari ay wala akong paki.

He just boringly shrugged and asked, "Do you want to come with me?"

"Where?"

"Sa private event ng family namin mamaya sa Troyen. My grandfather just got here so the event's like a welcome celebration. Didn't tita tell you that? She's there with my mother."

Seryoso ba 'to?

Baka naman mamaya... kailangan niya lang talaga ako roon para pagtakpan ang kung ano.

"Mom wants to see you, too."

"So you're just inviting me to come because your mother wants to see me?"

His expression immediately changed from cool to confused as he defended, "What? No. That's not what I meant."

Inirapan ko na lamang siya at hindi muling nagsalita.

Ano ba? Sasama ba ako?

Hanggang ngayon kasi ay hindi pa sumasagot si Reon.

"Paano kung ayaw ko?"

It was late when I realized how stupid my question was. Talagang tinanong muna para lang malaman ang gagawin ni Trojan. Para akong nagtatampong jowa kung umasta, wala namang kami.

I glanced at him again just to observe his reaction. He didn't hesitate to reply, "Then I'll leave you here alone. Hindi naman kita pinipilit."

Ayon nga, e! Hindi ka man lang mamilit. Hindi ka man lang nagtataka kung bakit parang nagbago ang tungo ko sa 'yo?

Bakit parang tunog attention seeker naman ako masiyado? Gano'n na ba talaga ako kadesperadang suyuin niya?

Parang tanga, Mikasha.

"Sige," came out of my lips.

"Sige... as in you'll come with me?"

I timidly nodded and with my phone with me, I stood up. He watched me move which intimidated the shit out of me.

"Mag-aayos na ako. Anong oras ba ang start?"

Alam kong sobrang tanga talaga nitong desisyon ko pero sige, tanga na ako kaya susulitin ko na ngayong gabi. Na-iimagine ko na ang reaksyon ni mama kapag nakita akong kasama si Trojan.

Noong bumagyo ng karupukan sa mundo, paniguradong nag-floating pa ako sa baha.

"Eight."

I, again, nodded. Sakto at hapon pa lang. Dalawang oras akong mag-aayos tapos by six ay aalis na kami.

"Do you want to eat something while you wait?" I asked him.

"No, I'm good."

"Sure ka?" nginitian ko pa nga, "medyo matagal akong mag-ayos."

Tumango lamang si Trojan at sinabing, "Take your time."

Bahala ka nga.

Iniwan ko na siya sa sala at pumasok na ako sa aking kwarto. Mabuti na lang at naisalba ni mama 'yong red dress ko sanang susuotin sa prom bago ko pa tuluyang itapon.

Napagpasyahan kong iyon na lang ang suotin sa event tutal iyon naman talaga sana ang dress ko sa prom.

I was about to take a shower when my phone rang.

"Gaga ka!" sagot ko kay Reon, "kung kailan ako aalis saka ka tumawag!"

"Huh? Aalis ka? Ngayon lang ako nakahanap ng driver namin!"

"Oo. Pinuntahan ako ni Trojan dito sa amin."

"What?" gulat na gulat siya, "tutuloy kayo sa prom?"

"Hindi... sa family event nila kami pupunta."

"Wow!" Reon laughed, "baka ngayon ka pa lang ia-arrange marriage sa kanya."

"Gaga ka!" tawa ko rin, "mag-aayos pa ako. Huwag ka ng tumuloy, next time na lang."

"Oo na, oo na. Para namang may iba akong choice," she dismissively said.

"Bye!" paalam ko at agad binaba ang tawag.

I busied fixing myself from head to toe. Formal family celebration ang pupuntahan ko at hindi pipitsuging party, kailangan ko talagang mag-ayos. In case lang naman na makaharap ko ang lolo niya, at least ready ako... pero sana hindi.

Nang natapos ako sa pagligo, pagtuyo ng buhok at pagbihis ng kaswal na damit ay kumatok si Trojan sa aking kwarto.

Mabilis kong binuksan ang pinto upang makausap si Trojan.

"Someone's looking for you... si Gem daw?" he informed me, unsure.

"Omg, si Gem! Na sa labas pa?"

He nodded.

"Papasukin mo, dali!"

"Sino ba 'yon?" para pa siyang naiirita sa pagtanong.

"He's one of my friends from my previous school. Aspiring make-up artist siya kaya kinuha ko siya noon para sana make-up-an ako for prom. Papasukin mo na, sakto at kailangan ko pa rin siya ngayon," I briefly explained to him.

Wala siyang nagawa kung hindi ang sumunod. Hindi naman pwedeng ako pa ang magpapasok, kaliligo ko lang. Mawawala agad ang freshness! Hindi nagtagal ay nakita ko na si Gem sa aming living room.

"Gem! Dito tayo sa kwarto," tawag ko.

"Ayon si Mika! Diyos ko, nagulat naman ako at iba ang nagpapasok sa akin," halakhak ni Gem, "thank you pala, pogi."

Napahalakhak ako sa inasta ni Gem na tila ba hindi nagustuhan ni Trojan. Lahat naman ng bagay parang ayaw niya kaya bahala siya riyan.

Nahihiyang tumakbo si Gem patungo sa akin at agad ko naman siyang pinapasok.

"Ang haba ng hair mo, Mikasha Duran! Nakapasok ka lang sa Syru, nakabingwit ka na ng gwapo!" iyon talaga ang unang sinabi ni Gem nang kaming dalawa na lang.

"Gaga! Hindi ko jowa 'yon."

"Maniwala sa 'yo. Mamatay na walang jowa, oh!"

Tumawa na lang ako at hindi na iyon dinugtungan pa.

"Hindi ko pala nasabi sa 'yong hindi ako tutuloy sa prom. Nagkasakit kasi ako nitong mga nakaraang araw," I changed the topic.

"Hala? Oh, kumusta naman na ang pakiramdam mo ngayon?"

I stretched a smile, "Maayos na kaya nga aalis kami ng lalaking 'yon. Siya rin dapat ang partner ko sa prom, pareho kaming 'di dadalo."

Gem teased me with his malicious grin, "Date naman pala!"

"Gaga, hindi rin. Anyway, shall we begin? Okay na ba 'tong lightings ng salamin ko or what?"

"Okay na 'yan, Mika. Sobrang liwanag na rito sa kwarto mo, kaloka."

I chuckled and finally sat in front of the mirror. Gem began his ritual as we continued to catch up with each other. Mostly ng mga tinanong niya sa akin ay tungkol kay Trojan. Hindi pa rin talaga siya naniniwalang hindi ko naman talaga jowa 'yong poging 'yon.

Gem and I weren't really that close before. Basta casual lang kami kahit hindi na sa same group of friends. I remembered watching his entertaining make-up tutorial videos sa Facebook noon, then nalaman ko na lang na schoolmate ko lang pala siya.

­Matapos ang halos isang oras na pag-aayos sa akin, hindi na ako mapakali dahil sobrang ganda ng ginawang make-up sa akin ni Gem.

"Maganda ka naman na talaga kasi, extra na lang 'yong talent ko," he kept on saying every time I'd praise him.

"Ang galing mo talaga," I genuinely complimented, "picture tayo, dali!"

Agad naman siyang nag-pose nang tinaas ko ang aking phone upang kunan kami.

"Magbihis ka na para maayos na rin natin ang buhok mo!" he told me afterwards.

"Sige, simpleng curl lang naman gusto ko. Ayaw kong itali ang buhok ko dahil hindi ako komportable."

"Okay, noted. Painitin ko na ang plantsa habang nagbibihis ka," he informed me, "ang gara ng dress ni bakla! Talagang pinaghandaan mo ang prom na 'to, ha? Hindi ko alam kung nasasayangan ka ba dahil hindi kayo tutuloy o masisiyahan dahil date naman ang naging kapalit?"

I laughed out loud, "Sana nga date, e."

Hawak ang aking pulang dress ay pumasok ako muli sa banyo ng aking kwarto upang magbihis. I fell in love the first time I saw this dress on the internet and immediately asked mom if she could buy it for me.

Hindi naman ako laging nagpapabili ng kung ano-ano kay mama dahil hindi rin naman ako gano'n ka-materialistic so she agreed to buy this one for me kahit may kamahalan.

I needed to wear a comfortable high waist short with the similar color to my paso doble one shoulder ruffled top. Then I proceeded wearing the accessories I prepared to match my outfit.

Hindi ako nagtagal sa pagbihis at nang muli akong lumabas ay humiyaw si Gem upang pagaanin ang aking loob.

"Ganda talaga! Kung hindi ka talaga jowa ni pogi, ang malas niya," he commented.

Napalakas ang halakhak ko dahil sa kanyang sinabi. I couldn't help but to agree.

Gem proceeded to curl my hair. Medyo mahirap daw dahil natural na straight ang aking buhok. He needed to spray something on my hair para daw mag-last ang curl.

Gem kept on joking how much he envied me dahil lahat daw sa akin ay bagay. Paulit-ulit ko namang sinabi sa kanyang pareho lang kaming maganda kaya hindi na niya kailangan pang mainggit.

When everything was finally done and as I looked myself in the mirror, masasabi ko ngang ang malas ni Trojan dahil ayaw niya sa akin.

"Dali, Mika!" rinig kong tawag sa akin ni Gem sa labas ng aking kwarto.

Pinauna ko na kasi siyang lumabas habang sinusuot ko ang aking heels.

"Saglit, ito na!" natatawa kong tugon at mabilis na kinuha ang aking maliit na black sling shoulder bag na parang bulsa ni Doraemon sa dami ng nagkasyang gamit sa loob.

"Ang ganda talaga, mamsh!" tili ni Gem nang lumabas ako.

Agad kong sinulyapan ang gawi ni Trojan upang makita ang kanyang reaksyon. Hindi tulad kaninang naka-casual shirt and pants, ngayon ay naka-formal attire na rin ang gago.

Ngayon ko lamang din napansing nagpagupit din siya dahil hindi naman ganito ang madalas niyang hairstyle.

Ang gwapo talaga, nakakainis.

Sa ganitong porma niya rin ako nakuha noon, e.

"Picture-an kita, Mika, dito sa hagdan ninyo," Gem suggested.

Agad ko siyang nilingon at nginitian. Mabilis na nawala ang atensyon ko kay Trojan at hindi na nakita pa ang kanyang reaksyon nang nagprisinta si Gem na kunan ako ng litrato. I handed my phone to Gem and the photo taking began.

I did several poses and after every turn I'd laugh because Gem kept on showering me praises. Hindi ko alam kung nagpaparinig ba siya kay Trojan o talagang gandang ganda siya sa 'kin sa mga pagkakataong ito.

"Pogi, tabi ka kay Mika. Picture-an ko kayo!"

"Hoy!" natatawa kong sita, ang lakas ng loob!

Hindi nga 'yon sumagi sa isip ko dahil baka tumanggi si Trojan!

Gulat na gulat talaga ako nang agad tumayo si Trojan at lumapit sa amin.

"Maka-hoy 'tong si Mikasha. Hindi ka naman mabubuntis sa simpleng picture kasama si pogi."

"Wait, I can't figure out how to wear this," sabi sa akin ni Trojan at pinakita ang kanyang necktie, "marunong ka ba?" na sa akin lang ang attention ni gago na parang never nag-exist si Gem sa paligid namin.

"Oo, akin na," I lent my left palm where he placed his necktie, "lapit ka sa akin," utos ko habang inaayos ang necktie.

Oo, sinabi kong lumapit pero ang ginawa ng gago literal na sobrang lapit! Rinig ko ang pagpigil ng tili ni Gem, para siyang nanonood ng k-drama dahil sa kaartehan nito ni Trojan.

Kung hindi ko lang nalaman na ginamit niya ako, siguro ang wholesome din ngayon ng kilig ko.

Seryoso kong sinuot sa kanya ang necktie, pasalamat siya't hindi pa ako gano'n kademonyo para sobrang higpitan.

Pilit na pilit kong pinigilan ang aking sarili na magtama ang aming mga paningin. Pakialam ko kung sa akin siya nakatingin, tulad nga ng sabi Gem maganda ako.

Nang natapos ay agad ko siyang nilayuan at muling umakyat sa pang-apat na hakbang ng hagdan. Sumunod naman si Trojan at tumabi talaga sa aking gilid. Pwede namang sa ibang step siya tumayo, ako na nga ang lumalayo sa tukso siya naman 'tong lapit nang lapit.

Mabuti na lang at walang kababalaghang sinabi si Gem hanggang sa natapos kaming mag-picture. Kanina ko pa binigay sa kanya ang bayad ko kaya nang wala na siyang gagawin ay nagpaalam ng mauuna.

"Gusto mo bang sumabay sa amin palabas? Aalis na rin naman kami," I offered.

"Hindi na, salamat na lang, Mika," tanggi ni Gem, "enjoy mo na lang ang date ninyo."

I rolled my eyes and slightly smirked, "Hindi nga date."

Nang umalis na si Gem ay siya ring paglabas ni Trojan ng aming tahanan. Sinabihan niya akong pumasok na lang ako sa sasakyan nila after kong i-lock ang bahay. Napaka-gentleman, ano? Hindi man lang ako hinintay!

Silence was the only noise when we were finally inside their black tinted van. This was the vehicle I often ride on back then. I didn't bother to strike a conversation with him anymore.

I kept on preventing myself from also glancing at him from time to time. We were both busy facing our own phones and I guess this was a lot better than talking.

"Marami bang imbitado sa event?" I just needed to ask to prepare myself ahead.

"Only close families to us are invited," he simply answered.

I just nodded and fell silent again. Even though my finger was busy scrolling through the newsfeed, my head was going somewhere else. This was the obvious truth I failed to notice before. He wouldn't talk to me unless I'd initiate.

He was obviously far from an introvert, imposibleng "nahihiya" lang siya kaya hindi ako kinakausap. It was either he didn't want to speak with me or he wasn't in the mood. Kung alinman doon ang rason, isa pa rin talaga ang kababagsakan ko: hindi niya ako gusto.

As for the times when he treated me kindly, I figured out that was his only natural human act. We could be kind and caring without feelings involved.

I failed to differentiate flirting from kindness. I was the only one who really assumed things and put meaning into every move he made.

Now that I was slowly seeing the reality, it is as if I had been staying in a cave for a long time and for the first time I saw the light. Slowly, things started to make sense to me.

Grabe, ang lala ko namang magkagusto... partida, hindi ko pa mahal 'tong gagong 'to. What more so if I was already at that point? Would I still see these signs and help myself from the fall?

It was probably because my mind wasn't paying attention when I got startled seeing the unfamiliar entrance through the tinted windows. Trojan was already preparing himself to go out and so I fixed myself, too.

I have never seen this entrance of Troyen before. This seems to be only for exclusive guests who would be attending an important event.

A man in his uniform opened the van widely for us. Trojan first glanced at me signalling me to come out first. I didn't say anything and just followed. I was still in awe because of the mesmerizing view in front of me.

If Trojan hadn't pulled me to move I would definitely still be standing in front of the entrance. He seemed to know where the right way toward the venue was, the guards around us didn't have to tell him things already.

It was not often that there were guards close to Trojan so I didn't think much before about how important he was... but now that I've seen it first hand, I suddenly felt intimidated with him.

Gets kong mayaman sila pero ngayon lang nasampal sa akin kung gaano sila kayaman.

"Ready?" Trojan gazed at me when we were nearing the golden doors.

"Ano pa bang magagawa ko? Nandito na ako," I chuckled to ease myself.

"Are you nervous?"

"Slight," pag-amin ko, "feeling ko sobrang formal ng event.

"Hindi 'yan, my grandfather's not that into formal gatherings. Required lang ang formal attire but inside? It's not that uptight," he told me.

"What's your grandfather's name ba? Baka mamaya, makasalubong ko siya. Wala akong kilala sa loob kaya huwag mo 'kong iwan."

I couldn't determine anything funny about what I said. I was already nervous and he even had the urge to laugh, "Chill and yes I will not leave you alone. I don't want to socialize with them as well anyway. My grandfather's name is Vartuj Regil, but you can call him sir Vartuj. Second name is a thing in my family so don't use his second name."

"Noted."

"Seriously, just chill."

"Kasama kita, baka mamaya lumapit siya sa atin o ikaw ang lumapit sa kanya. Syempre kasama mo ako kaya kinakabahan ako," para na akong nag-rap sa bilis magsalita, "bakit mo nga ba ako ulit inimbitahan dito at bakit ako pumayag?"

He chuckled, "Regretting now, aren't we? Don't worry, I'll stay by your side."

"Siguraduhin mo lang," bulong ko bago tuluyan kaming pagbuksan.

The fancy floral carpet and luxurious chandeliers welcomed my sight as we officially entered Troyen's grand ballroom.

From what I've heard before, this room itself could accommodate up to 1,500 people. The tables and chairs were covered with white cloth and the flower-shaped ceiling lights were just perfect. The stage was located at the far end.

There were a lot of aesthetically satisfying details to admire in one glance. The whole place was extravagant, perfect for the event's guests.

May mga namukhaan na ako agad na mga artista at mga kilalang politicians ng bansa at sigurado akong hindi pa rito nagtatapos ang koneksyon ng mga Zorron.

Gaya ng sinabi sa akin ni Trojan, hindi nga gaanong formal ang event. On one side, there were live musicians while the rest of the guests were chattering with one another.

Because of genuine amusement, I didn't notice us already standing in front of Trojan's friend. He was on the same table with Thera Mia, Trojan's cousin, and they really reserved the vacant chairs for us.

"Hindi mo ba ako ipakikilala sa kasama mo?" nakuha ni Pirad ang aking atensyon nang narinig ko iyon mula sa kanya.

Si Trojan lang naman ang pagitan naming dalawa kaya sigurado akong siya ang kausap nito. Hinintay kong gumalaw si Trojan upang pormal kaming ipakilala sa isa't isa pero ang gago sinimangutan lang ang kaibigan.

"There you are," a strict baritone voice said behind us.

Nang bahagya kong nilingon ang lalaki, napagtanto kong si Lucre Marcus pala iyon! Matalim ang kanyang titig sa kapatid ngunit parang wala lang kay Trojan iyon.

"They need us in front, Trojan and Mia."

"I don't want to," simpleng sagot ni Trojan.

"Tara na, Trojan. Mabilis lang naman siguro iyon," Mia convinced Trojan even though she didn't also want to go.

"I have someone, I can't leave her alone," pagrarason ni Trojan.

Dahil sa sinabi ni Trojan, nalaman ko ang katotohanan kung bakit niya ako dinala rito. Kung agresibo lang siguro ako ay matagal ko na siyang nasapak sa galit.

"Hala, okay lang!" napalakas tuloy ang aking boses.

I faced Trojan again to assure him, "It's fine. Magsisimula na siguro ang event kaya kailangan kayo roon. Kasama ko naman ang kaibigan mo kaya hindi ako mag-isa. Sumama ka na."

He made me feel worse, I only gave back what he deserved.

In the end, he didn't have other choice but to go. He miserably stood beside his brother while Mia led their way away from us. My breathing relaxed when they were finally far from where we were.

Wala naman talaga akong balak makipag-usap ngunit lumapit sa akin si Pirad.

"Mikasha, right?" he causally asked.

I nodded twice.

"I'm Pirad," he introduced himself.

"I know, you're one of Trojan's friends. Why are you here anyway? Inimbitahan ka rin ni gago?"

"Gago?" he amusingly chuckled.

"Oo, gago tawag ko sa kaibigan mo, e, pero secret lang natin 'yon. Hindi niya kasi alam."

Pirad couldn't stop his laughter anymore as he replied, "Sure! Matagal na akong kaibigan ni gago kaya malapit na rin ako sa pamilya nila."

"Oh, I see. Hindi niya naman ako kaibigan kaya nagtaka ako kanina kung bakit niya ako inimbitahan," I told Pirad, "tapos ngayong nandito kami, parang ayaw niya naman."

"You're right," he quickly agreed, "he doesn't want to be here, but he has to."

Sabi ko na, e.

Tapos ako ang gagamitin niyang rason to excuse himself out.

Ang gago niya talaga.

Siguro para sa kanya ay wala lang 'to pero para sa akin, para sa tulad kong matagal na siyang gusto—sa tulad kong talagang naghanda ng magandang gown at inistorbo pa ang ibang tao para lang magmukhang maganda para sa kanya... para sa akin, masakit.

"Trojan told us you're the daughter of his mother's secretary... so I'm assuming you've attended the previous events they had?"

"Nope, pangalawa ko pa lang itong ngayon. I don't often come with my mother at work. Wala rin naman akong interes," sagot ko kay Pirad.

"Oh, that's explain why I don't frequently see you with him."

"Bakit?" natatawa kong tanong, "hina-hunting niyo ba ako?"

Pirad showed his boyish grin, "I hope you don't misunderstand. One time kasi Trojan's girlfriend broke up with him because she saw your photo in his phone's gallery."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, then nalaman namin kaya since then inaasar na namin siya sa 'yo."

"Oh!" I exclaimed when it hit me, "dati pa 'yong picture ko. Na-low battery kasi ang phone ko noon kaya sa kanya ang ginamit namin... pero wala namang namamagitan sa amin."

Hindi nabura ang ngisi sa kanyang mga labi nang nagsalita, "I know, we just like annoying Trojan."

"Pero seryoso? Nag-break sila dahil sa akin?" natatawa kong tanong, "buti naman."

Pareho na kaming napahalakhak ni Pirad dito sa aming lamesa. We weren't listening to whoever was speaking in front.

"Anong buti naman? You like him?" walang preno niyang tanong.

I shrugged.

"He's complicated."

"True," mabilis niyang pagsang-ayon, "if complicated is a human, siya 'yon."

"Ang happy mo rin pa lang kasama, madalas ka kasing mukhang seryoso kaya hindi ko inexpect na ang jolly mo," I changed the topic.

"This is just really entertaining for me," he smiled.

Sa nagdaang oras ay si Pirad lamang ang aking kasama. 'yong lalaking niyaya ako rito ay hindi na muling nakabalik. Minsan ay sinusubukan kong hanapin siya sa harapan katabi ng kanyang mga kapatid ngunit ang hirap niyang makita dahil sa layo.

Mabuti na lang at masarap ang mga pagkaing hinanda rito, sa ganitong paraan ko na lamang na-enjoy ang event.

"Oh? Babalik ka pa pala," natatawang bati ni Pirad sa taong na sa aking gilid.

Katatapos ko lang kumain ng main dish nang biglang sumulpot si Trojan sa aming lamesa.

"Are you done eating?" Trojan asked me instead of acknowledging his friend.

"Oo pero gusto ko pa ng dessert," sagot ko.

Narinig ko ang halakhak ni Pirad sa aking tabi. Saglit siyang inirapan ni Trojan bago muling nagsalita.

"Do you want to go home already?"

Kumunot ang aking noo at tinanong pabalik, "Bakit naman?"

"Maybe you're already bored."

"Hindi naman, okay lang."

"You might get sick again," pagdadahilan na niya ngayon.

Nahimigan ko ang nais niyang iparating. Nilayo ko ang aking mga mata sa kanya at pasimpleng inobserbahan ang kanyang pamilya.

I saw his parents interacting with the guests with Marcus beside them. Maybe Trojan just wanted to avoid being in the same position as well... so he chose to ask me.

"Ihahatid mo ba ako pabalik?" I asked without my eyes on him.

"Yeah, I dragged you here so it's my responsibility to bring you back."

I sarcastically chuckled and immediately stood up. Ako na ang naunang maglakad paalis na kanyang kinagulat. His guards got alerted by our sudden exit, but I didn't care anymore.

Nakakapagod ang suot kong heels pero mas pagod na akong magpakatanga.

"Pwede mo namang sabihing ayaw mo lang talagang sumama sa mga magulang mo kaya gagamitin mo ako para makaiwas sa kanila," I voiced out while we were walking toward their van.

"What?" he sounded dumbfounded.

Tuluyan na akong natawa.

Ayaw pa talagang umamin.

His guard was about to open the door for us when I stopped and turned to Trojan. I collected all my anger and harshly pushed his chest away from me.

The guard beside us was shocked. He tried to touch me, but Trojan was quick to block him from even moving.

"Leave us alone," Trojan ordered him.

The guard was hesitant, he was probably thinking I'd harm his master, but he couldn't say no with what Trojan commanded.

Nang lumayo ang guard ay muli siyang nagtanong, "What's going on, Mikasha?"

"Huwag mo nga akong ma-what-what diyan. Nakakasawa kang panooring nagmamaang-maangan."

"I don't get it—"

"I overheard your conversation with Pirad before. Na sa corridor kayo noon at pabalik na ako sa gym para sa dance practice ng prom," I fumed.

His lips parted to say something but I continued, "Kabisado ko pa nga ang eksaktong sinabi mo: I'm just using her so that Audrey and her psycho friends can finally stop their nonsense. Na-gets mo na ba ngayon ang ibig kong sabihin, Mikael Trojan?"

My lungs were breathing heavily yet the feeling to vent out the emotions I kept to myself felt satisfying.

"And this? You only invited me because you had no choice but to be here, and having me as your responsibility could get you out anytime you want," I smirked as if I solved a fucking mystery.

"I'm not stupid—"

"Listen—"

"No, you listen!" I thundered, "gusto kita."

All of his cool suddenly disappeared and got replaced with total confusion.

"Did you just... confess?" he trailed off, bewildered.

"Oo," I confidently hissed, "gusto kita, matagal na. Noon pa... kaya nga hirap na hirap akong tumanggi sa 'yo. Kaya nga hindi ko masagot-sagot si Jez noon. Kaya nga wala akong ibang magustuhan. Kaya nga talagang nag-effort pa ako para sa prom dahil ikaw ang kasama ko. Gusto kita kaya nga nakalimutan ko ang ibang tao."

I was smiling like an idiot while he tried to process everything I just said. Sa ganitong paraan ko lang kasi kayang itago na hindi ako nasasaktan. Nakangiti ako pero ang totoo, naaawa na ako para sa sarili.

"Kaya alam mo? Laking pasasalamat ko ring narinig ko ang sinabi mo. It hurts but it's tolerable," kalmado na ako nang muling nagsalita.

I don’t know if I should be happy because he remained speechless or if I should be upset because he never really noticed me.

"I like you, really, but I also respect myself."

I tried so hard not to tear up.

"I can't stay to someone who isn't sure, who isn't for me, who clearly doesn't care and who never appreciated me as a person," I added with all the little courage I had.

"Mikasha, I'm sorry—"

"Don't be! Ano ka ba?" sinubukan kong ipakita sa kanyang wala lang 'to, "it's not your fault that you don't like me."

But that didn't make him feel better.

"Don't worry, I will not be a bother to you anymore after this day. You won't have to worry about your issues with your exes because of me. I'm going back to my previous school next school year," my lips slightly trembled as I spoke those words.

I met his eyes as I promised, "Pagkatapos ng gabing 'to, ako na ang kusang lalayo para hindi ka na mahirapan."