When Alec arrives at home, he opened the door and he saw Magnus pacing around the room talking in a phone. He was busy with his business calls when Alec walked in. He turned around and smile at Alec. Alec take off his jacket and hung it by the coat hanger and walked towards Magnus. He kissed him on the lips and Magnus smiled but he still has his phone in his ears. He mouthed 'okay' to Alec and he nodded before he turned on his heels walking towards the bedroom. He closed the door after and he felt cold. He felt coldness surrounds him in the strange way. He lied down on the bed hugging his body. He sighed and let out heavy breaths and closed his eyes. He heard Magnus walked into the bedroom and climbed on the bed. He leaned and put his arm on Alec's body. He leaned and kissed his temple but Alec didn't move. "Babe, you're okay?" Alec didn't answer making Magnus worried. So Magnus turned Alec's body towards him and made him lie on his back. He could see Alec teared up and his temple is wet. He frowned concern on Alec's being, but Alec just hugged him hiding his face in his neck sobbing in tears. Magnus wraps himself in Alec's body. "Babe, you're scaring me tell me what's wrong. please." He could feel Alec's body trembling and shaking. Alec couldn't say any words he just kept crying. For a while Magnus hold Alec and he noticed Alec falls asleep in his tears. He let Alec's body slept on the bed and went to shower.

When he got out from shower he saw Alec has turned on his back still asleep. Magnus put his sweatpants and his simple white shirt on. Then he went to Alec's side kneeling beside him. He looked at Alec's pale bruised face and sighed. He stroke Alec's cheek and he moves to his touch but hasn't woken yet. "Alexander, you need to wake up. You haven't ate anything." Alec didn't opened his eyes but he just shakes his head lightly. Then he turned his body letting his back facing Magnus face. Magnus sighed and rubbed his back before he went out the bedroom.

Magnus sat by his desk finishing up his work. He has been there for more than 4 hours. He knows how he easily get lost when he's doing his job and then he noticed the clock, it shows midnight and he gave up waiting for Alec to wake up. Then he heard a loud thump coming from the bedroom. He stood up and ran towards it but he saw the bed is empty and the sound must have come from the bathroom. He tried to opened the door but it was locked. "Alexander! Are you okay?" He knocked on the door but Alec didn't answer making him even more worried. He knocked few more time shouting for Alec's name but failed. His knocked became more harder and he swore he almost broke down the door. He went to get his master keys and unlocked the door. He opened them and saw Alec's body sprawled on the floor with blood coming out from his wrist. "Alec!" He shouted and grabbed Alec's head. The memories hit him and on the time he saved Alec. But this time Alec was awake and he looked up staring at Magnus' eyes. "why did you do this?!" Alec stared at Magnus' eyes and he saw how he teared up holding his body. "P-P-Please let me die, I can't continued living like this a-anymore." He stutters in his words making Magnus cried even more. "What about me? Are you just gonna left me all alone after everything? Alexander I love you, I need you to fight this. If you can't fight for your own fight for me! For us. Please." Magnus was begging desperately holding Alec towards his body.

Luckily for Alec the wound is not deep enough and Magnus able to mend it. He lift Alec's weak body and carried him to the bedroom, lay him down and pull the covers over his body. He got under the covers together and hold Alec whole night. Alec woke up middle of the night screaming and struggling due to his nightmare and Magnus kept holding him, hushed soft words in his ears. He couldn't sleep well all night and so was Alec. It was morning when Magnus able to sleep with Alec on his chest. They were exhausted emotionally and physically. When Alec woke up, it was afternoon and he was on Magnus' chest. He saw his wrist is wrapped in a bandage and he saw Magnus' eyes swollen. He sat up and hugged his knees looking out the window thinking what happened last night. He failed again. His attempt to kill himself failed again. He couldn't remember how many time he tried and never once succeeded. He was wondering will he ever succeed on doing something in his life. Maybe one day he will succeed. Maybe he will die but then what happens? What happened to the people around him. He knows his behavior is hurting Magnus and he wants nothing but happiness. He was lost in his thoughts when Magnus woke up and stroke his back. He looked behind his shoulder and saw Magnus looked at him. He didn't smile or even wish him good morning like usuals. Alec leaned back and lie his head on his chest hugging Magnus' warm body. "We need to talk." Magnus sudden tone surprised Alec and he could feel his heart pounding stronger. Magnus sat up and so was Alec.

They both sat on the bed with legs crossing looking at each other. Alec couldn't look at Magnus' eyes. He was ashamed at his behavior and every time Magnus was the one who saved him. "Alec, I can't do this anymore." Alec looked up and he started to tears. "A-Are you leaving me?" His words cracked and Magnus looked down on their hands. "You wanted to leave me. You wanted to leave me all alone in this world after seeing you killed yourself." Alec hold Magnus hand with his and he felt for the first time he was scared. Scared of losing Magnus. "Please, I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking. Please don't leave me Magnus. Not now." Magnus looked up to his tearing eyes. "What do you mean not now? Alec what are you not telling me?" Magnus was worried Alec keeping secrets from him. Its true that they just started their relationship and there's a lot he need to know, they need to know about each other which making Magnus felt one sided in the relationship. "I met my mum after 18 years she left me. I wanted to know why she left me with him. But I found out she tried to kill herself and mine before she got caught." Alec couldn't finished telling Magnus how his father able to keep him away from his mother all these years. "Oh, Alec I'm so sorry. I shouldn't blame you." Magnus hugged Alec and he heard Alec crying through his shirt. He was a sobbing mess on his shoulder and he wished he could make him better. He should have let Alec explained himself before he got angry at his behavior. He couldn't blamed Alec for this. He was raised in a fucked up family and he wont be able to stop having suicidal attempt. But he knows Alec need him more than he need Alec. "I'm sorry Alec, but listen to me please." He pulled Alec to make eye contact. "I want you to promise me something. You need to tell me, you need to let me know when you're trying to kill yourself. When you feel lonely or empty or useless please let me know. Come back to me whenever you feel sad, or when you felt like hurting yourself. Alec I need you to promise me that." Alec looked deep in Magnus' eyes and he knows how scared Magnus is. "I promised." Magnus breathed out a sighed and hugged Alec. He let Alec sat on his lap and snuggled his face on his shoulder. They hugged for awhile before Magnus could hear Alec's stomach rumbling. He didn't eat anything since yesterday. Magnus chuckled, "Lets get something to eat. Shall we?" Alec nodded and they both spend a day in Magnus' loft talking about each other, getting to know about each other more.