Tin-Can Telephone

Po considered Master Leopard's story to be a bit sad, though he was stoked to hear about what life was like back when Shifu was in his prime. It was definitely pretty weird that the old Furious Five sounded like his own team, but perhaps that was the case in every group of friends. He hadn't had much friends, he had to admit, over the years, but the few he had always seemed to come in that same pattern: there was always one friend who was hilarious and loved to crack jokes while the other friend was always a stick-in-the-mud who didn't feel like goofing off at the moment.

Definitely Tigress and Monkey, Po thought as he thought about the Furious Five. And my old friends Luke and Bei were like that...and I guess for Leopard, that meant Master Elephant and Fenghuang. I guess she did have a sense of humor, now that I'm thinking about it.

Po had started to head back over to the barracks, unsure of where all the girls were at this moment. Madame Zhou had probably ducked off somewhere and the others were most likely getting stuff ready for their talk. Though whatever exactly this required he didn't know and it didn't answer the question of everyone's location.

As he passed the gate of the Jade Palace, one of the guards, a burly Ussuri black bear, got his attention and said, "Destiny wanted us to tell you that she'll be upstairs in the barracks for your talk. But she has trouble with looking at you, so she wants you to sit in the room on the end right so that you can talk."

"Oh, okay. Thanks for the heads up!" Po told him. He walked back to the barracks and sat down in his room for the next half hour before his talk with Destiny. He sat on the floor this time to keep himself from falling asleep and did a few imaginary battles with his action figures before soon heading upstairs to talk to his third guest. He walked all the way down the hallway, as instructed, and passed by a door with a giant shadow behind it before going into the room at the end of the hall directly next to it.

"Hi, Destiny," he greeted cheerily.

Destiny started laughing nervously. She scooted over to the far corner of her room and grabbed something Po couldn't make out. She then went back to her original spot and heavily breathed for a moment before clearing her throat. "I have a fun game we can play," she stammered nervously.

Po jumped a little at the sound of her voice, though since this was the first time she had ever spoken, this wasn't much of a surprise. Her voice was very nice, like someone playing an oboe.

"I'm, uh, having trouble with acting completely cool...clearly...and I'm sorry I'm kinda' embarrassing...but uh...I thought maybe I can ask you 60 questions and that should be okay for an hour?"

"Oh, yeah that's cool," Po told her as he sat on the floor as well. "I'm just glad to hear you talking to me."

Destiny laughed nervously again, a little louder this time and a bit crazier. She soon calmed down and cleared her throat. "Okay, um...I'm gonna' start. Question 1: Do you know your biological parents or where you were born?"

"I know a little from our battle in Gongmen City," Po immediately answered. "Not a lot since my parents are dead, but I figured, based off of my memories, that I was born in the Millnyan Village just outside of the city."

Destiny paused and her hand started moving back and forth on the floor. It took Po a second to realize that she was writing his answers down.

Ohhhhhhhhh, she was grabbing an ink board! Po exclaimed mentally. This'll definitely be an interesting conversation. I wonder if she'll let me do a 60 question thing too! It sounds like a fun way to break the ice!

Destiny finished writing and immediately looked back at her scroll. "Um...question 2," she said. "What's your favorite color?"

"Magenta. It reminds me a lot of the sunrise."

Destiny gave a little contented sigh before quickly writing down the answer. She then moved on to question three. "What was your dream as a kid?"

"As a kid? Ooh, that's a hard one. I had so many! I wanted to be a noodle maker like my dad, but I also thought that kung fu was super cool, so I thought I'd be a kung fu noodle maker! A secret kung fu master who makes deliciously awesome noodles kung fu style! But then I also wanted to be a baker with Mr. Dogwood, which dad wasn't too pleased about, and then there was another time I wanted to be a potter, but I'm not artistic so it didn't work out well. There was also one time I wanted to live underground like this Mole mayor that stopped by and I talked about it for four days before dad told me I'd have to dig tunnels. And I wasn't great at digging, so I got out of that pretty quick."

Destiny giggled erratically but then covered her mouth and wrote down Po's answer after a moment of thinking. "Okay," she finally said. "Question four: What's your favorite hobby?"

"Outside of kung fu?" Po asked.

"Sure."

"Hmm....collecting action figures of awesome legendary masters."

"Ooh, cool! That crosses off question 27!" Destiny said as she wrote on the paper. Once she finished, she turned back to asking the remaining 55 questions. "Question five, why do you love kung fu?" she asked.

"I think it's awesome! And you get to kick people's butts and keep everyone safe! And you totally get to meet all these cool masters that you've only heard of in stories and it's SO cool!!!!"

"I wish! Um.....uh, question six, what was your best kung fu victory?"

"The battle against Master Durakhan of Swamp Hills! Whew, he was a toughie, but it felt sooooooooooooooo good kicking his butt!"

Destiny giggled again, but a little less eratically this time. Paused to write. Asked question seven, what was surprising about kung fu?"

"Well, here Shifu sometimes made us go without eating," Po admitted. "And my stomach wasn't exactly happy about that."

More erratic giggling and writing. Question eight: "What's your favorite food?"

"Rice balls stuffed with bean paste! Hands down the best!"

"Question nine, who's in your family?"

"Well, there's my dad, Mr. Ping. You met him yesterday. Uncle Yang, who was adopted by my grandparents when he and dad were little, and there's my grandfather who I mentioned yesterday. Grandma died when I was 11."

"Aw...."

"And Uncle Yang has a wife and one kid, my cousin Jian, and Jian has twin girls named Hibiscus and Jade."

"Awwwwwww!"

"Yeah, they're real cuties. But that's all I have. What about you?"

"Oh, um....uh...my parents. I mean, my dad and my mom, Mr. and Mrs. Aio. My aunt Glade and uncle Fei...Mr. Rio's kinda' like a brother...um....I don't know there's a lot of people."

"Sounds like a big family."

"Yeah it is. Uh, so uh...question ten: do you like kids?"

"Of course I do, I love kids! I think the kids in the Tsung Village would be in trouble if I didn't."

"Oh, right." Destiny seemed to laugh out of embarrassment, but it sounded a little more hysterical. Po felt a little bad for her and mentally made a note to try and not make too many jokes during the conversation. When Destiny had calmed down a bit and wrote down Po's answer, she resumed the questioning. "Question eleven: what's it like teaching?"

"Tiring," Po admitted right off the bat. "But a ton of fun! It's so cute when they're trying so hard to get a move right, and it's a great feeling when someone finally understands how to do something. And I'm a great role model. And launch pad apparently. Little Kaif actually tried to jump on me because he thought I'd be bouncy enough to get him onto the ceiling."

Destiny let out a loud hearty laugh which was followed by her falling to the floor and curling into a ball, clearly entertained by such an idea. It took her about two minutes to calm down and keep up with the questions. She cleared her throat and asked Po the twelfth question: did he like school as a kid?

"No," Po replied flatly. "I was a very hungry kid, and dad tried to pack me a ton of food, but I always wound up eating everyone else's snacks out of pure hunger. I got better after a while, but even when I was fourteen people would avoid me like I was some kind of snack monster!"

Destiny shook her head in sympathy. "I um...I wrote for the next question What was your favorite school subject as a kid? Is that awkward at all to ask now?"

"No, of course not. My favorite subject was lunch!"

Destiny laughed loudly again before returning to her list. "What's your favorite season?" she asked. "Question 14."

"Well, I personally prefer a little soy sauce," Po admitted."And maybe a hint of ging-" He paused, frowned, and then suddenly gasped in embarrassment. "Oh, wait no you said season, didn't you?! Not seasoning!"

Destiny held back a curt laugh.

"Okay okay!" Po said quickly, trying to smoothly recover his embarrassing blunder. "Favorite season, favorite season. Um, definitely autumn. That's when we break out all the moon cakes and dancing festivals...." He chuckled sheepishly. "I guess I have a lot of food on my brain, huh?" he noted.

"It's okay. You're really funny."

Po gave a little laugh to calm his nerves. "Thanks," he said. "So, um...what's the next question on your long list of ice breakers?"

"Question fifteen........um, it says, Was Tai Lung really ugly like everyone says he was?"

Po laughed. "I've heard that one in some of the neighboring villages," he replied. "But no. For a guy who spent 20 years rotting in prison, he actually looked pretty good. His muscles were still in good shape since he could make craters by kicking me."

"Huh. Interesting. Okay, um...question 16: is Shifu a strict teacher?"

"The strictest I've ever known."

"Question seventeen: how early do you get up in the morning?"

"Well that depends. Here, I used to get up at four. In the Tsung Valley I don't get out of bed any later than 9 in the morning. Thank goodness for kids needing twelve hours of sleep!"

"Question eighteen: what's it like training kids?"

"Well, kids are still young, so it's tricky trying to find that balance of strict and fun. But when you find your groove, helping them to understand everything is kind of a cinch. Or for me it is anyway."

"Question nineteen asks if you want your own kids."

"Sure! I don't care if I have to adopt one! I love the idea of being a dad!  And raising a kid in kung fu, or at least just watching all their early stages of walking and crawling, would be so cool!"

"Um...how...many would you want?"

"Oh, no idea. I guess just take things as they go."

"Okay. Um, question twenty: what are your parents like?"

"Dad is really nice and he's always trying to help me with my problems, which I really appreciate. He is a bit obsessive with money though, so he's always trying some weird scheme to get extra money, like having someone pay for samples or having meal deals so more people flood into his shop. And he can be a bit cranky and his sinuses are super bad, especially at night, but those are pretty minor things. Dad's always pretty cheery and he loves making friends. I think he really liked you guys yesterday."

Destiny giggled a bit before soon moving on to the next question. "Question twenty-one, who is your best friend?"

"Monkey," Po responded immediately. "Don't tell the others!"

Destiny let out a short laugh. "Okay," she promised. "Question 22: do you have a kung fu idol?"

"Ooooooh, that's a hard one! I have so many it's impossible to keep track! Um....I'll have to say General Tsin. I got to visit him once and it was awesome!!!!"

"Oooh, fun! Okay, um, question 23: who was the first master you ever heard of?"

"Master Oogway. He's was kinda' right in the village, so that was an easy one."

"Question 24: Has a kung fu master ever saved you?"

"Oh, I wish! But no. That's never happened to me. Which is a shame because that would be such a fun story!"

"Question 25: What's your favorite meal time?"

"Dinner. I love the smells of dinner-time!"

"Question 26: how long did it take for you to adjust to kung fu?"

Po turned red. "Um, a while," he admitted. "I knew no kung fu when I went up there, so figuring out how to discipline myself and get better in time to fight Tai Lung was both really hard and really stressful. And since I also felt really out of place, I was a little depressed for the first week or so I have to admit."

Destiny's shadow moved back towards her bed and this time she pulled out a smaller box than the ink set. She moved over towards the door and asked, "Do you want a fudge for your first week troubles?"

"You brought fudge?!" Po exclaimed eagerly.

Destiny opened her door, quickly placed the chocolate box on the floor, and retreated into her room, telling Po he could grab a fudge out of the box. Or just take the whole box if he was hungry. Po promised to leave her plenty of fudge and proceeded to take a chocolate one and went back into his room. As Destiny took the box back and put it away, Po had a delightful time cooing over how gooey the fudge was.

"It's so goooooooood!" he admitted.

Destiny laughed. This time, however, she sounded more hearty and entertained, though there was some traces of nervous erratic tones. Po didn't really pay much attention to these though.

"What's the next question?" he asked the young rhino.

Destiny looked back at her paper and said, "Question 27 looks like it's been answered, so...question 28: what do you look for in an ideal girlfriend?"

Po frowned in thought. "I don't know," he admitted. "I've never really had specific taste in girls. I mean, there's been a couple of girls I kinda' liked, but they all were so different I can't really say if there was something they had in common."

"Okay.... Hmm, okay question 29: how many dates have you been on?"

"None. Girls didn't really like me that much. Especially in high school, though dad says that's when everyone is at their dumbest, so I didn't miss out."

Destiny cackled in amusement and soon returned to her scroll. "I guess the next question is out the window then: who was your first date? And this question: who was your first kiss?"

"Actually, I do have a first kiss, but the dating thing? Afraid not."

Destiny turned toward the window, probably with a confused look on her face. Po quickly explained the event by starting off with, "You remember Ming, right?"

Destiny started howling with laughter at the idea, not even giving Po the opportunity to finish his story. She eventually calmed down after about five minutes and was finally told that once, Po and Monkey had to rescue Ming and her equally irritating dad in order to secure a jewel needed in a foreign dispute. Monkey had a huge crush on Ming and Po had decided to try and get the two matched up by talking to Ming and seeing if she'd be flattered by a crush. Unfortunately, Ming had taken the conversation to mean that Po liked her, and she had promptly forced a kiss on him just as Monkey walked into the courtyard to see what the commotion was about. Fortunately the misunderstanding was cleared up and Ming left the Jade Palace irritated at them for being "idiots".

"Not how I wanted my first kiss to go," Po told Destiny. "But hopefully my next kiss will be much better."

Destiny burst into a series of maniac giggles before calming down and reading her list again. "Question 32: who was your first crush?"

Po immediately turned red again and he sat there for a moment, opening and closing his mouth. "I...." he stammered. "Uh....kinda'...I mean, it's a first crush, so it's...."

"Embarrassing?"

"Yeah, but um...also awkward, because I...kinda' had a crush on Tigress for a long time, and...she's in the Jade Palace and I don't want her to know that."

"Oh!"

"Yeah, I mean, I've had other crushes, but I really liked her for a really long time. But we're strictly just friends now. Honestly, the fact that she's one of my closest friends is super awesome! She was one of my favorite masters when I was a kid! I even collected a rare action figure of her in a Phoenix Dive! Actually, aside from General Tsin, I collected stuff on the Furious Five the most! I was so stoked that I'd get to do kung fu with them, though it did take them a while to warm up to me since I was kind of a klutz for a while."

"No one ever gets to meet their heroes!" Destiny exclaimed from her room. "And it's so cool when they do! And you can hang out with them, and swap stories, and take a lock of fur for a souvenir!"

"I know! I was so excited to actually be talking to the Furious Five in person that I tried to keep broken training equipment as- wait, did you say taking locks of fur as a souvenir?"

"Um, well, yeah. I mean, there are some fan girls who do that, right?" Destiny stammered. "My friend idolizes old Mr. Ender from down stream and always talks about breaking into his house to snip some ear hairs as proof he existed and collected 100 pieces of gold out of the swamp."

Po shuddered. "I'm all for fanning," he said. "But I think sneaking through people's personal stuff or invading their privacy kinda' goes a bit far."

"Yeah...yeah that's always true."  Destiny cleared her throat. "So, the next question says, Did you ever go on a date with your crush, but I'm guessing that's a no?"

"Afraid not. Not that I would have bothered asking. She's never had a romantic interest in me. Ever."

"Okay then. Um...question 34: do you play checkers?"

"I can but I'm not good at them."

"Okay then........Question 35: what's your favorite game ever to play?"

"Hide and seek. I'm really terrible at the first part, but I can sniff out other people for miles! Especially after lunch."

"Question 36: what's your favorite ancient weapon?"

"The Sword of Heroes! I've always wanted to use it, but Shifu threatened to Wuxi Finger me, so that was out of the question."

"Question 37: Do you prefer weapons or brute force in combat?"

"Brute force, though only if I can't reason with my opponent."

"Oh! You're more of a peace keeper then?"

"Yep. Viper too, actually."

"Question 38: is it true that Master Oogway stopped doing kung fu because he had arthritis?"

"Actually no. He stopped doing kung fu because he wanted Shifu to learn how to be a grandmaster with little interference. He took up Tai Chi until he died, Shifu said."

"Ohhh!........Okay, then, question 39: what's your most embarrassing life story?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.................................I mean.........having my pants fall down in the middle of a fight was pretty embarrassing. I lost some weight, so my pants were loose, and......yeah, that happened."

"Sorry about that...... Question 40: what's your proudest life story?"

"Kicking Tai Lung's butt," Po admitted proudly. "I thought I couldn't do it and I totally did. I just needed a little confidence."

"Aww," Destiny cooed. She wrote a little more. "Question 41: which enemy did you hate fighting the most?"

"Master Jungie. He's always getting in the middle of something and ruining everyone's day! Like, hey, I'm trying to be a good student! Can you not trick me into messing up an epic kung fu presentation?!"

"Which enemy was the most fun to fight?"

"Fenghuang. Her kung fu was pretty awesome, even if she used it to try and kill us."

"Question 43, have you ever fought someone who became a good person?"

"Taotie," Po promptly replied. "He used to be a master, but he was really bad at kung fu so he left with a vengeance, but we've been helping him find an occupation that really highlights his skills. He works as a weapons and defense contractor now. He actually made some pretty crazy traps system over in the Lakeside Prison. No one's broken out of there since he did all that work! Oh and Song! But I never really considered her bad. We actually became pretty good friends right from the start!"

"Oh, that's so cool! Um, question 44, have you ever worked with someone who became a bad person?"

"Technically General Tsin, but he's not really bad more than he's just really old and kind of crazy and slightly paranoid. Being in war does that to you I guess."

"Aww, poor thing. Question 45-ooh...are the rumors about the Furious Five Curse true, and if so, who do you think will be the next evil person?"

"Hey, Master Leopard mentioned that!" Po exclaimed. "I didn't even realized there was a "curse" conspiracy until Shifu brought it up before Fenghuang attacked everyone."  

"So it is true!" Destiny screeched giddily. "Everyone always talked about it, but we weren't sure if it was just a coincidence or not! What did she say about the old Furious Five?! How do they know the curse is real?!"

"Master Leopard didn't really take the "curse" seriously," Po told her quickly. "It's kind of more like a joke. She takes it more like, "Oh, look at our mighty group of five! Who's going to be the black sheep this time?

Destiny laughed.

Po laughed too. "Actually, everyone was so paranoid that I was going to turn evil that they acted weird for a couple of days, but then I pointed out that I'm not part of the Furious Five, so that doesn't count. That would technically fall to Tigress-"   He paused quickly so as not to give Destiny any reason to fear the Dragon Warrior. She was jittery enough as it was.

"But Tigress seems so sweet!" Destiny protested to Po's relief. "I mean, she doesn't seem to like Ordai that much, but in her defense, Ordai was being a little rude."

"Tigress is very strict about protocol, so that's understandable. What's the next question?"

"The next question? Um.......dadadadada....where am-oh! 46: what was your first impression of the Tsung village?"

"I liked it! It's a lot smaller than the valley of Peace, but it has a ton of families and a lot of kids! So there's always something lively going on!"

"Question 47: do you prefer the Tsung Village or the Valley of Peace?"

"Ooh, that's a hard one. I love both places. But...I guess I'd have to say the Tsung Village. There isn't as much action, but it's such a pretty place. They have a waterfall with a wading pool underneath and everyone goes there to swim when it's really hot. It's a ton of fun!"

"That sounds really cool! Okay.....question 48: did you have a hideout as a child?"

"Only if you count my room."

"Question 49: do you like dancing?"

"Absolutely. I'm not great at it, but I don't mind going crazy."

Destiny giggled. She then laughed nervously again before clearing her throat. "Question 50: who do you like the most out of our group so far?"

"Aw, that's no fair," Po told her jokingly. "You guys are all so great! I can't just go around saying who's better than who! Besides, we have plenty of time to get to know each other better. Maybe we'll save that question for...the week after next?"

"Alrightie. Question 51 says Do you have a favorite tree?"

"Bamboo. Tough, shady, and surprisingly delicious."

Destiny burst out laughing but was quick to stay calm and ask the remaining nine questions. "Question 52: Have you lived anywhere else besides the Valley of Peace?"

"Aside from my birth village and the Tsung Village? No."

"Question 53: who were your birth parents?"

"Rice farmers. They were nice self-sacrificing people. They died when I was barely a year old."

"Oh....I'm sorry......um, question 54, what chores did you have as a kid?"

"Anything that helped take care of the restaurant: mopping, sweeping, cleaning my room, dishes, the list goes on."

"Question 55: what kind of fangirls have you met?"

"I actually haven't met that many. They're definitely pretty giddy, but I think it's just nerves from meeting their idol. I used to do it around the Five all the time when I first moved to the Jade Palace."

"Question 56: do you have a fan club?"

"I know some of the local kids do....."

"Question 57: do you have a fake legendary story people tell about you?"

"Apparently after I was chosen as Dragon Warrior, people started telling the tale about how, during the choosing ceremony, all the great masters were interrupted by a warrior falling from the sky in a ball of fire. He emerged among all in attendance and was so mighty that the ground shook beneath his feet. Not quite how it actually went, but it's a popular one."

"Question 58: what's your favorite legendary story?"

"Master Storming Ox versus the Dinos of Thunder Volcano Mountain. That's an epic one!"

"Question 59: what do you think about fan girls having a crush on you?"

"I think it's kind of cute. I don't want to say they're artificial since I know some people probably really feel that way, but I don't want to go among a bunch of fan girls, especially if I'm not interested in them, and then totally do something wrong and make them all hate me."

"Aw, you couldn't do that to anyone you-"

The little gong suddenly went off, indicating that the hour was up.

"Oh, wait, I have one more question!" Destiny cried quickly.

"Fire away," Po prompted.

"Would you ever date a fan girl?"

Po thought for a second. "Sure," he said. "If she was nice and I felt like we had an actual connection. That'd be pretty cool."

He then stood up from the floor and waved at the wall towards Destiny's room. "It was nice talking to you, Destiny," he said as he walked out of the room. "We'll have to talk more often. You have some pretty fun questions."

He then began to head downstairs to wait out the half hour for the next girl, only to hear Destiny swooning and fainting on the floor in her room.

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