For the second time, the bed I awoke in was cold.  I stretched my fingers over to the other side, hoping to find something that would reassure me that last night actually happened. I savored the silence, the smell on the sheets. The reality that today, we would have to go back to the way things used to be. We had to be friends. Nothing more, nothing less. Confused didn't even begin to explain my thoughts. There was passion,fear,and lust, and although hesitant, the mutual gravity continued to pull both of us toward each other. But he leaves.

Every. 

Single. 

Time.

I brushed back my frizzy hair, reluctantly accepting the fact that today was happening. Our marching competition was in two hours. I pushed Jay to the back of my mind. Today I had to focus on the music. 

             ***

"I don't think they will ever shut up," Jay nodded towards the back of the bus, where a thousand banshees were wailing our contest music.

"The trumpets aren't really that horrible at singing," I counteracted, wincing as Marcus, the first chair player, tried to hit the high note.

"Oh god I can see the field," Jay had gone a pale shade of white, "I think I'm going to be sick."

I shook him by his sholders,"Jay, we're in this together. It's going to be ok."

The color still didn't return to his cheeks by the time we pulled into the lot. I took a deep breath steadying my nerves. I could feel the adrenaline mingled with hope pulsing through my veins. This wasn't the first time I had felt this way....

"I can't breathe," I clung to Jay's tux and laid my head on his sholder.

He kissed my neck, "Baby, you praticed, we know our ensemble music, your ready."

He moved my shaking hands and placed them around his neck. He pulled me closer, wrapping his arms around my waist. I inhaled his scent, the smoky sensation filling my veins.

I smoothed out the red dress, grabbed Jay's hand, took a deep breathe and walked into the blinding stage lights.

"All right, we're done with warm up, you ready?"

I nodded, pulling myself out of the past.

The green turf beckoned me, calling me to conduct. I squeezed Jay's hand and let him lead me on the field.

He straightened my jacket,

"Show time."

            ****
"AND THE TROMBONE SOLO," Dale burst out, causing the entire table to cheer in admiration.

I accepted the drink Jay passed me,"Secound place, not to bad Lady Cleo."

"Now we have region to contend with," I sighed, deeply dreading the anxiety that would haunt me for the weeks to come.

"We did great," he mused, "relax, have a drink." I played with the rim of my cup

"What's wrong?" He asked, pushing my hair back over my ears.

My brother.

It was awalys Seth. He should be here. He should be with me. He should of won with me tonight. I placed the liquor on the table.

"Come with me," I stood up grabbing his hand.

"I couldn't sleep last night, and I have something to show you." I yelled behind him, stomping up the stairwells.

"Your insane," he shouted back, panting being me as we embarked on our 5th flight.

I burst through the exit and halted in my tracks. He came stomping up behind me. I slowly walked over to the railing.

"It makes me feel so small, so insignificant," the entire city was illuminated in front of my eyes.

"The view from up here is amazing," he agreed, leaning over the barrier.

"It sometimes wonder if anyone would notice if I just disappeared," I heard my voice ask,"It seems like the world would go on spinning, this city would still wake up with or without me."

Jay moved closer to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "These people's lives would go on, but mine wouldn't. Cleo, you are my life. You die. I die."

I ignored the bubble of guilt brewing in my heart. He was my gravity, my ground, my calm. the city was alive, heart pounding, blood circulating.

I leaned back into Jay. The world was flashing by, but we were still. Never have I felt so peaceful.

Another chapter down. Thank y'all for continuing to read and support me. I love you guys.