"Alright," I yelled over the megaphone, "practice tomorrow. Good run today." I panted, exausted from a full day of marching.

A collective groan rose up from the masses at the mention of more pratice.

I sent reassuring glances at freshman and headed toward the pratice rooms. "Party at Theos tonight," Dale yelled after me, "don't forget."

"Fucking dammit," a voice screamed down the hall.

I immediately reconized it as Jays. I held my breath outside the room. The stumbling keys of the piano resumed followed by more cursing.

He slammed down on the keys. Jay was sitting at the piano bench, full concentration etched into his face. His arms were strong, his muscles contracting everytime he pressed down harder on the keys.

"Jay," he spun around, a tortured look in his eyes.

In long even strides he crossed the room and hugged me close to his chest, kissing me softly on my forehead. I felt my breathing hitch, mentally cursing myself for my body reacting this was.

"What are you working on," I finally asked after we broke apart, taking a seat on the piano bench and analyzing the music he was writing.

He pulled his tenor out of the case, "Let me show you."

I didn't have words to describe how captivating the music was. I forgot how to breathe, how to live. He was lost, passion seeping into my lungs with every note he played. I could feel his pain. With every note played agony radiated from all four corners of the room. He was beautiful, the veins in his neck sticking out with effort, his eyes closed, body swaying along. In that moment I have never loved him more.

I didn't even realize Jay had stopped until he nuged me, "I was thinking we could play it at the end of the year, it was originally supposed to be a trio, but I'm transcribing it for soprano and tenor. I can't finish it, Seth was writing it with me..." He trailed off.

At the end of the summer marching, the drum majors play a piece, everyone cries and we have food. I didn't even have to guess who the third part was supposed to be for.

"I have something that will make you feel better." I announced jumping up from the piano bench.

"Theo is having a party tonight, be there ok?" I didn't even wait for an answer.

****
"Can I get you something to drink?"

I had barely entered the house and already the decision to drink had come to soon. I nodded, my subconscious screaming at me, as a cup of watermelon vodka was pushed into my hand. The party was crowded, people already flat out wasted and many teetering on the edge. I leaned up aganist the counter top and downed the rest of my cup.

"Hey beautiful," Jay sneaked up behind me and sat on the counter next to me.

"What are you drinking," He asked, concern etched in his voice.

I emptied my secound cup and held onto his sholder for support, "It's really good," I licked the remaining watermelon flavor from my lips, my voice slurring slightly. From across the room Theo urgently waved Jay over to him.

"I'll be right back, just no more vodka ok?" He said hesitantly. I waved him on and left to go find some water.

****
My plan to find water failed miserably to say the least. Three drinks later, Jay had not returned and I was drunk.

"And I just don't knowww," I murmured to myself

""Cleo," I turned at the sound of my name, "I've been looking for you."

I threw my arms slopply around him, "JAY!"

He pulled away from me in sighing, nose wrinkled from smelling the liquor on my breath. I hopped down from the counter top, falling down in the process.

"I'm going to take her home," I heard him say to Dale. The ground went away from me as I leaned back into Jay's arms.

"You smell nice," I informed him, my head bobbing slightly.

He chuckled, lifting me into the car, "Is that so?"

The entire ride home was me babbling about senseless things and Jay pretending to know what I was talking about.

"I'm tired," Jay laid me down on my bed and began to remove my boots.

"You had a lot to drink," He answered, struggling to keep the fear out of his voice.

I sighed, "I'm sad." He sat on the edge of the bed and patted my knee, " I don't want to love you and I want you to love me." I said all the words slowly, as I'd explaining it to a five year old.

"Your not going to remember any of this in the morning," he said working on the laces.

"I didn't want him to go," I told Jay.

His hand slipped on my sock, "I know Cleo, I know."

My voice was getting choked up, God dammit drunk Cleo. He finally freed my feet from their leather prison and turned to leave.

"Stay with me," I begged him, not bothering to keep the need out of my voice.

He hesitated before turning off the light and laying down next to me. I snuggled closer to him and closed my eyes, letting sleep take over.

Just before I drifted off I caught the words, "I miss him too."