"I need to get away for a few hours," I straightened Jay's neck tie and smoothed out the crease in his shirt.

I could feel the guilt ebbing away at me. " I can't believe your leaving me," he groaned checking his reflection.

"The show is bound to be good, just please don't lose anyone," I said, flashbacks of our last trip replaying in my head.

He kissed me on the forehead.

"Be safe please," he pecked me one final time and left the hotel room.

I savored the silence. In the next three hours, I would either be relieved or even more clueless. I cluched the crumpled up address in my hand. I could pratically feel the hope in my fingertips.

****
"Come on up," a voice I reconized called over the intercom.

I opened the door and was greeted by peeling paint and cigarette smoke. The rusted number thirteen stood in front of me. I steadied my nerves and knocked. The door swung open seconds later and Logan Brooks crooked smile with a cigarette hanging out of the corner of his mouth greeted me.

"Cleo," he grinned, "come on in."

I tentivly entered the apartment. The inside was less shabby than the outside. The walls were beige with very few pictures on it. I walked over to the living room mantle.

"Do you want anything to drink?" Brooks called from the kitchen.

"Coke please," I yelled back.

The mantle was lined with pictures of his graduation, drinking with friends, the collage campus. I got to the last picture and my breath choked in my windpipe. Jay, Seth, and Logan were all crowed around me. Our smiles a million miles wide.

"That one was takes two weeks before the accident," I voice from behind me said. "We were smiling like idiots and I just think about the stupid shit we were talking about. There were so many important things I could of said....."

He trailed off and handed me a coke that was dripping with condensation.

"I'm assuming that he's the reason you came today," He gestured to the ratty couch next to him.

I nodded and winced at the squeaking noise the couch emitted as I sank into it. "The night Jay died, you were in the car."

I carefully evaluated his face, but it gave away nothing of what he was thinking.

"I need your account of what happened."

He groaned and sunk into the cushions. "It was late, I got there at ten." He closed his eyes and dragged me into his memories.

*Logans memory*

"One more," Chris clapped me on the back and handed me a shot. I laughed and threw it back, wincing as the burn erupted in my throat. I checked my watch. A neon two glanced back at me. A roar erupted from the balcony and I looked up just in time to see Seth soaring down the stairs. "Come on," his speech was slurred, but his action were as fast paced as ever. He grabbed the keys, stumbling a bit. Jay clapped me on the back and pulled me forward. The arrogance of the night pulled me in with its seductive ways. Taking something that never would return to me.

*End of memory*

"Jay was in the car?" I asked incredulously.

Brooks eyes flooded with guilt and regret,"I thought you knew," he mumbled.

"No he must of forgotten to mention that," the anger was audible in my voice.

"Look Cleo," he started,"I have no memory of the crash. I was drunk beyond belief. I remember getting in the car and then waking up in the hospital. Your brother.." He stiffened and tried again,
"Your brother took a part of all of us when he died. Cleo I know it's been hard, but you have been to stop digging."

I huffed and crossed my arms like a small child, "Everyone keeps telling me that."

"It's true," he said gently, "it's not good for you to keep going over his death."

He patted my arm in a way that was supposed to be soothing,
"So how's drum major?"

The next hour was spent chatting about absentminded things. Honestly, my heart wasn't in it. Brooks could tell. The unmistakable pain in my eyes I knew was striking deep cords in his heart.

"Well, you have to get back," Logan jumped to his feet after a particually uncomfortable stretch of conversation, or lack of it actually.

I hugged him, determined to hang on to the comfortable smell of someone I loved.

"Take care of yourself Cleo," the double meaning of his words could not of been clearer.

"I'll talk to you soon," I promised, decending down the stairwell.

Outside the smoke filled building, I found myself longing for a cigarette to calm myself. This trip did everything I was afraid it would do. Thunder cracked in the distance. I watched a young couple run to find shelter from the expected rain. I sighed and leaned my head on the brick wall.

A storm was definitely coming.