My head pounding was the first thing that greeted me when I made the regretful decision to open my eyes.

The second was the absence of warmth I had grown accustomed to overnight. My fingers sprawled across the bed hoping find Jay, but a cold empty void was all that remained.

I caught sight of my reflection and cringed. My hair was matted and makeup smeared. A night of drinking flashed across my eyes.

Fresh coffee and maple syrup assaulted my lungs, reminding me how hungry I was.

"When you left, Jay, I didn't know if she was going to keep on living." My mother's voice drifted up the stairs.

I smacked aganist the wall and clung to the balcony for dear life.

I peered around the corner, not quite ready to make my presence known.

"How bad was it?" I heard him ask.

"She didn't eat, sleep, or talk. The day you came was the first day since the accident that she opened her mouth. I thought we were going to have to hospitalize her..."

My mom cut off. "Of course she was eventually admitted after her father found her half dead, passed out on the floor."

I couldn't bear to hear anymore, "Good morning," I ran down the stairs, making my voice more chipper than I felt.

My mothers eyes shrunk, guilt apparent on her face. She surveyed my face, trying to determine how much I heard.

Jay cleared his throat, "I picked up your car this morning. I'm taking you out for breakfast." I nodded, going back upstairs and getting dressed.

****
The top one hundreds blared over the radio, not doing much to help my headache. Jay turned down the music and sent a sympathetic glance toward me.

"Before I forget," Jay fished out and advil and two Paxils from his jeans.

I accepted them graciously. "I'm sorry for not telling you." I muttered, almost to quiet for him to notice.

"So you did hear,"Jay frowned.

I struggled to find the words to describe the past year.

"So you know how when it's about to rain, the sky looks like it's falling apart." I hesitated looking for the right words to help me continue, "I'm the sky. And after Seth died, I felt like there was no hope of the sun shining again. I fought it Jay, every single fucking day. Until one night I snapped."

His free hand reaches out and grabbed my clammy ones.

"Jay, that night when I took those pills, I had no intention of ever seeing the morning. Waking up that morning in the hospital... so now I'm in therepy, I take my meds, and I try to live," My voice shook, but I begged myself to continue, "I love you, but I need you to understand that I'm toxic for you. I will end up hurting you in the end."

He shook his head, pulling into the Dennys parking lot, "You shouldn't be the one apologizing. I don't think you understand how deep my love for you actually goes."

I just shook my head at him, "Face it beautiful,

we

   are

      inevitable."

He shrugged, as if daily confessions of love were a habitual routine. Jay opened the door to the over crowded restarunt, proceeding to charm the waitress into getting us a table, despite the screaming children and parents behind us.

The majority of our meal was eaten in silence, both of us commenting on how great the food was, but not going into much detail.

"Didn't expect to see you here sweetheart," I turned around to Dales smirking face.

He pulled up a chair and began eating the pancakes off my plate. I swatted his fork away

"Why is he here," Jay muttered under his breath

The words were not intended for Dale, but Dale being Dale decided to answer, "Well I just happened to be rolling around when I had a particular craving for pancakes, among other things. So I strolled on in here and got those needs addressed," he winked at me before whispering, "the cook really is talented."

Jay spit the coffee back into his mug.

"I caught sight of my two favorite people and here I am." He leaned back in his chair and called the waitress over for more toast. "So Jay, what have you been up to lately?"

He opened his mouth to respond but Dale cut him off, "I saw you had drinks last night, we didn't drive did we?"

Dale smirked at the obvious effect his words had on Jay, "We wouldn't want our hands to just slip." He remarked, popping the P.

I could feel my eyebrows becoming increasingly more creased. Accident? Hands slipping?

"Shut the fuck up Dale, you don't know shit." Jay was shaking, face red with anger.

Dale continued, "I mean if I were Cleo-"

"YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT," The entire restaurant went quiet.

Jay threw a twenty dollar bill down and stormed out. I shot a dirty look at Dale and ran out after him.

"Jay," I called out after him, blindly looking around the parking lot for him. He was in the car, legs hanging out the drivers side.

"Where are the keys?" He asked shortly, anger radiating from his words.

"Glove department," I answered hastily, "Jay just talk to. me-"

"What the fuck are these," he pulled out the files from the police station.

I stammered and fell silent, "Cleo. Why is Seths case file in here," he sounded slightly less angry, but every bit as intense.

"I want answers. Jay I need answers," I whispered.

He threw the files to the floor, "Cleo, I need you to promise me something," he continued when I didn't say anything, "stop looking for answers. You are going to get hurt. Stop hunting for a reason. Seth is gone. No point in reliving it." He sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than me.

"I need you to promise Cleo," he sounded so desperate and afraid that I couldn't help but give in.

"I promise," I said hesitantly.

He slumped back, obviously relieved.

The guilt was already tearing at me.

This was the first time I lied to him.

Something told me it wouldn't be the last.

Another chapter written. I love all of you guys, honestly the reaction to my writing surpassed anything I thought I would receive. Thank you so much for reading.