Will and I were both so busy that the week breezed past us. Which is great because I've been so excited about our date tonight that I went out after work at the school yesterday and bought a new outfit.
I've been stressing about what way to do my hair and how I'll do my make up. A step back for women everywhere I know, but how often do you have a first date with your boyfriend after you already live together right?

I'm half ready when Will pops his head into our bedroom.
"Are you sure that restaurant is still okay Iz? I have no problem getting a reservation someplace nicer!"

"Wilde is nice!"

"I mean somewhere really nice...rich people nice!"

"You know it's not nearly as enjoyable for me if you make fun of yourself right?"

"Why do you think I'm doing it?"

Will pulls some pieces out of his wardrobe for tonight. Black skinny jeans and a belt, an off white button down shirt that he rolls the sleeves up on, and a deep green waist coat that almost matches his eyes. He selects a tie that matches it all without even having to really think about it. Even when he has to dress up he still manages to keep his own edge to it. He exudes a kind of cool that comes so naturally to him.

I on the other hand took forever to agonise over two almost identical skirts when I was shopping yesterday. Since I've met Will his colour pallet has rubbed off on me somewhat, half of my wardrobe is now black. I did try to go for something brighter given the time of year but I still ended out picking a black dress.
It is killer though, even I have to admit it. It has a sweetheart neckline with capped sleeves, coming in at the waist and floating back out to about half way down my thigh. If it doesn't do it for him nothing I have will.

I eye him up as he closes the last buttons on the waistcoat. I'm tempted not to go anywhere seeing it fitted to his torso the way it is but this it's a special night so I settle on giving him a compliment rather than jumping him.
"You look really good in that...really good."

I'm still in a towel, but at least my hair is done now. I put some loose curls through it with the curling iron before running a comb through it, I do it like this all the time, but it's something I know looks good on me so I didn't want to risk anything new.

"Good? You're meant to tell me I'm devastatingly handsome and that you're lucky to have me!"

"On a first date? I can't give all my cards away at once Will, I need to keep a little something back."

"As long as you're not planning on holding everything back tonight."

"I dont think I've ever put out on the first date Will...so it depends, maybe if you work hard enough you can be the exception."

"I think we both know that it really depends on how much wine I ply you with."

"Will!" I swat at him but he moves back, too quick for me.
"At least pretend that you'll need to work for it!"

"You really want this to feel like our first time out don't you?"

"It is our first time!"

"You know what I mean."

"Yes, absolutely. You'll have to do some of that wooing you were talking about last week."

"I thought that word made me old?"

"Older men are generally better at it...so you should be fine."

"Don't shower me with too much love there Isobel."

"Like I said...you have to work for it."
I give him a wink and turn back to the mirror, I need to get a move on if we don't want to be late so he leaves me to get ready, I hear him strumming away on his guitar in the living room as I do.

I manage to get ready with exactly five minutes to spare. My heels are sky high, cost a small fortune and will absolutely leave my feet bleeding by the end of the evening but my god, when I see Wills mouth fall open as his eyes journey up my legs, it makes it worth every expensive drop of blood.

"Wow...you look...wow."

"You'll have to carry me home tonight if I stand in these too long."

"I'd carry you over hot coals as long as I was taking you home. Izzy that dress...this date would have happened long before now if I knew I'd be seeing this."

"Okay, that's enough, I'm starting to feel embarrassed."

"Don't, you look incredible, you always do."

"Can you take the tag off for me? I forgot it was back there and now I can't reach it."

"Sure thing."
Will grabs a scissors from the kitchen, taking care not to clip the fabric. I'd have yanked it right off if it were me doing it but that's just another one of our differences I suppose.

"All done, let's go." He pops the scissors and tag on the coffee table and grabs his jacket, eager to get going.

I grab my bag, letting Will lead the way.
It's a gorgeous evening, the sun doesn't set for another few hours and it's been relatively warm all day. The summer coming in shows us parts of Erie we haven't really seen yet, it's makes the walk to the restaurant all that more enjoyable.

Will took my jabs about our first date seriously, opening doors, pulling out my chair. They're things he usually does but he just doesn't quite make such a song and dance about it. It's borderline theatrical, but I guess making me laugh will win him some points either way.

I knew I was right about this place too, I can smell the food coming out of the kitchen, it's even better than I remember from the days we'd walk by.
I intensionally haven't eaten much today so when I look over the menu it takes me all of two seconds to choose the salmon, and steamed vegetables. Will opts for chicken, it makes me second guess my choice, this happens all the time when we order in, I always end up wanting what he has.

He doesn't even have to look up from the drinks menu he's reading over to know what I'm thinking.
"Yes you can have some. I knew you'd like it, that's why I ordered it."

"You really know the way to a girls heart Will."

"Nope, just yours."

Smooth. If he keeps this up he won't have to worry about working for anything, I'll just hand it over.

We order a bottle of wine to share and enjoy our very first date together. We talk for hours, making plans for the summer and wondering what we might do in the fall. That discussion turns to a year from now, then five, then ten.
I can't remember the last time I felt this secure in looking to the future.

It's all hypothetical of course. I think two children is plenty, Will wants to double it. I figure when it happens and he's in the thick of it with diapers and three a.m wake up calls that he'll come around to my way of thinking.

We live in one of those neighbourhoods where all the dads obsess over how the lawn looks and the moms car pool hoards of small gymnasts to their next class.
Not only do I chauffeur the kids to school, I teach music there too, and of course our own children are the gifted ones. Graced with musical talents from their parents that can take them anywhere they want to go.

We change our minds a little later into the discussion and consider that they could learn more about life in a city, somewhere New Yorkesque that's bursting with culture.
A house by the beach sounds just as nice too though, and a lot more chilled out. By the time we've finished we've moved half a dozen times and are still no more set than when we started.

The one thing I do know for sure though is this; our location may change, the number of children, the timing and plans too. But the one thing that doesn't waver is the fact that we're together. That is the one thing that we both remain sure of.

We decide against ordering another bottle of wine when the waiter comes around again. We have some at home that we can open and I cannot wait to take these shoes off.
Instead we take a stroll home hand in hand.

It's a little more lively around here at night than I thought, I can never hear it from the apartment. There's a karaoke bar on the street that seems to pull in most people. There's a big crowd outside it, at least half a dozen people bump into us as we squeeze by.

"That's my worst nightmare." Will shakes his head as he looks up at the flashing blue neon sign.

"Karaoke is your worst nightmare? Seriously?"

"Yeah, just the whole idea of it. I find it so cringeworthy."

"You find singing infront of people cringeworthy? You hear what you just said right?"

"Yes? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You don't see the struggle I'm having here?"

He takes a moment to realise the hypocrisy of his statement.
"It's not the same Isobel."

"It's exactly the same!"

"No it's not."

"It is!"

"So you're telling me, that if I just started playing the violin any old way I like that it's equal to what you do?"

"Well...when you put it like that..."

"Exactly."

"I think we should give it a shot next time we're here."

"I've heard you sing in the shower. That's enough for me."

"Hey!"

"I'm sorry. You have the voice of an angel...that better?"

"Sometimes lies are okay Will."

"I'll be sure to remember that."

I'm short of crawling the rest of the way home in these shoes but we get there none the less. As we round the corner to the apartment block Will starts turning like he's searching for something.

"Shit, I left my jacket there."

"Oh no... don't worry I think I have keys." I start to dig through my bag. I was sure I threw my car keys in.
"Wait just a second..." I'm elbow deep into a tiny bag somehow but I get a hold of them and triumphantly pull them out, happy that I was clever enough to take them.

"I better run back anyway Iz, my keys and wallet are in it."

"Why don't you just call them, they'll hold onto it until tomorrow."

"I think I'd prefer to get it, I don't like the idea of anyone having the keys. Why don't you go on inside, I'll only be a few minutes."

"Are you sure? I don't mind coming."

He looks down at my feet.
"I'm sure...you wouldn't make it again anyway."

"You're probably right! I'll open some wine...be quick okay?"

"Twenty minutes! Don't start without me."

"No promises.", I call after him as I walk toward the door of the apartment block.

I slide my key in, pushing the weight of the door inward. As I do I feel a hand at my back pushing me forward into the hallway of the apartment block.
For a split second I think it's Will, deciding to leave the jacket until tomorrow like I suggested, but then I get the smell of that cologne and I'm suddenly transported back in time. They step close to me as they usher me inside. I'm too afraid to turn around, if I stay as I am, this doesn't have to become real.

"Guess who."

The hair on the back of my neck stands up when he says it. This can't be happening.

He spins me around to face him, it's only then that all my desperate hopes of it being anybody else dissolve.
Jamie. Barely recognisable in black sweats and a hoodie that he has pulled up over his head. His stubble looks days old and his bloodshot eyes would make you think he's suffering some form of illness, but it's him.
"Where is he?"

"Wh...What are you doing here?"

"Where is he Izzy, you were together a minute ago."

Will. He must have been watching us.
"He left his stuff behind...he's coming back. He'll be here any second."
I try to make it sound like some form of threat
but he seems more irritated that he's not here than anything else.

He checks his watch then has a quick look around, making sure nobody is nearby.
"Okay, your apartment, let's go."

He tries to move me but I pull back from his grip.
"No! No way, I'm not going anywhere with you."

"I said move Izzy."

I try to reason with him somehow, reminding him of everything he stands to lose.
"Jamie do you realise what being here means for you? Your life will be over, that video will be released, and your father's business is done for. If you go right now I won't do anything, but it's got to be now. "

Jamie reaches back, pulling something from the waist of his sweatpants, as he draws it forward the light hits it, showing me the full length of the blade as he brings it toward me.
It's bizarre to me that I can recognise it as one of the knifes from the block we had in the apartment.

As he moves, I back up so much that I nearly fall over myself. Jamie matches my steps, moving toward me.
"Do you really think I give a damn about any of that now?"
He towers over me, coming closer and closer, the tip of the knife touching my chest.
"Go Izzy, or I'll let the food runner find you here bleeding out with this through your heart."

My mind races, I search my surroundings for something useful. All I spot is a little security camera in the corner above the mailboxes. I can't possibly allow Jamie into our home. I'm just as at risk in there anyway. At least out here whatever he does can be proven.
So I don't budge, I'll just refuse to tell him which apartment is ours. Then he'll have no options.

As if he knows what I'm thinking he pulls me to him, pressing the knife into the skin on my arm.
"Don't be so stupid. It's number four, now get it open."
He quickly slides the knife over my skin, a small cut opening where he had it pressed a moment ago. The blood begins to trickle down my arm, pooling at the tip of my fingers before dripping to the floor.

The pain doesn't register, only the confusion of how he knows exactly where we live. How long has he known?

He shoves me to the door of the apartment, yanking the keys from my hand.
"You just love to make things worse for yourself Izzy, you always have."

Opening the door, he pushes me inside, pointing to the sofa with the knife, "Sit down and don't move."

He hurriedly takes a moment to familiarise himself with the layout, surveying the kitchen and then moving to check the other rooms.

In the seconds he's out of the room I spot the scissors that will left on the coffee table earlier and reach for it. I slide it under the couch, keeping it in reach. My little kitchen scissors isn't going to be much of a match against that knife he's carrying but any weapon is better than none.

When he steps back into the living room, hes watching me with every step he takes. I feel like I'm that girl again. His. Afraid to say anything that might set him off, afraid that saying nothing will do the same.

I try to calculate how long it's been since Will went back to the restaurant. This can only get worse if he walks back in here.

Jamie paces the floor in-front of me, checking his watch again. What is he waiting on?
"You look good Iz. Really good. You've added a few pounds but it looks like it's in the right places."
I Instinctively begin to pull my dress down my legs, I can't stand the thought of him looking at me like that, it makes my skin crawl.

"I have to give it to you Izzy, you were smarter than I gave you credit for. That stunt with Karl and Simon, I never saw it coming."
Jamie wipes at his nose, his jittering giving me the idea that he's unwell somehow.

"Jamie, none of this is going to end well for you. No matter what you do here, you get that don't you?"

He acts like I never spoke at all.
"I was prepared to leave you alone after that you know. For a while I thought you'd really sucker punched me. But the longer I stayed under my dad's thumb, unable to do what I wanted to do, the more I thought about things...and just how unfair it all was..."

"Unfair? Jamie you escaped prison, it was more than fair!"

"You got everything you wanted, and what did I get huh? Stuck. Stuck in the same place with my disappointed father...It bothered me Izzy...it bothered me so much that I was tempted to follow Annie down here, I know she's been coming. But you had that video and I wasn't prepared to go to jail for you. So I toed the line, for my own sake...

It might have stayed that way had you not come back you know. But you did, and so fucking brazenly too. Laughing and kissing the prick you left me for in the street."

"How did you...?"

"See you? Luck Izzy. Right place at the right time."
Jamie rounds the coffee table and stands in front of me.
"Phone.", he puts his had out expectantly. The cut on my arm has began to sting now, I don't want another, so I hand it over and watch him stuff it into his pocket.

He stays over me, it's then I realise I was smelling more than just cologne earlier, he's been drinking.
"So what was so funny?"

"What?" I lift my gaze to him just in time for his arm to swing out into the air as the back of his hand cracks across my cheek, sending me falling into the sofa. He pulls me straight back up, bending over so he's just inches from my face.
"What was so funny when I saw you two together?"

"I...I don't know! I can't remember."
He takes my hair into his fist, pulling me to my feet.
"Was it that you thought you could come back and flaunt your way around with him?"

"No! I've no idea wh-"

I suddenly feel this vicious sting in my face. I look around and find myself on the floor. Touching my face, I try to understand what just happened. My nose is now pouring blood. I think he head-butted me.

My hands are stained red, for some reason all I can think of is the land lady that we rent the apartment from. She's going to kill me if I get this on the carpet. She was very clear about stains when we moved in.
I look up, he's just staring at me, smiling. Who could possibly enjoy this?
"Why aren't you laughing now slut?"

"You have to stop Jamie, it was just one weekend! I won't come back again!"

"I watched you the whole time do you know that? I was sure you knew...like you could sense it. I thought I'd find out you were as miserable as I was. But it was the opposite."

He steps back, checking out the window to see if he can see anything.
"You smiled in ways I'd never seen Izzy. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to approach you and wrap my hands around your neck and see you suffer... I thought about hitting you both with my car as you crossed the street in front of me, I even thought Annie had caught me at one point at that little party you rocked up at, in your little dress... but it was just her mother. That took some self restraint I can tell you, I bet that would have killed them."

The horror of what he's saying unfolds in front of me. I feel violated by him all over again.

"But no matter how much opportunity came my way, I knew there was only one thing I wanted to do Izzy..."

"Jamie..."

"I wanted you to watch me take away the thing you love most, just like you did to me. And then after I do that, I'll let you feel everything he did."

"Oh god please Jamie think about this, you'll go to prison! You'll be there for the rest of your life! Is it worth it?"

"Yes, it is. What have I got now Izzy? My father thinks I'm dead weight, everybody knows what happened. My name is nothing now. You made sure of that with your little plan."

"I'll change it! I'll talk to your dad, I'll talk to Karl and Simon too."

"What is that going to change? My dad can't do anything! You succeeded in completely ending my career the second you walked into that meeting. You can't take it back."

I watch the clock, panic begins to settle in, I know Will is going to be back any minute.
"There has to be something! You can't hurt him Jamie please. What can I do?"

His head tilts from one side to the other as he studies me.
"Can't hurt him?...and what about you?"

My head falls forward with heavy sobs, Will and I should have ran a lot further than we did. We took too much comfort in an agreement that really meant nothing.
"Please Jamie." Mascara stains my cheeks, mixing with the blood on my face, it falls away, leaving crimson pools in the floor.

"You really love him don't you?"

I search his eyes, I can't tell what he's looking for. I'm afraid to tell him the truth but there's no way in hell I'll deny it either.
"Of course I love him... I'd do anything for him Jamie. Tell me whatever it is that's going to stop this and I'll do it. "

"It's too late Izzy."

"No, no it's not too late, you can still walk out of here! There's still a chance."

"No, there's not. You'll tell me nothing will happen but it will. You won't take this risk again. You'll release the footage, I'll go to jail. Or you'll report this and I'll go to jail. Either way you'll get to live happily ever after with him. But, if there is no you, and there is no him, then there's no happily ever after is there?"

"There's still prison."

"It's a risk I'm willing to take to make sure you don't get what you want."

I wish I'd reported everything. I wish I'd stood in a court room and described everything he did to me. He should never have been allowed to walk this earth free after what he did. And now Will and I are paying for my mistake.

Jamie continues to pace and wait, his heavy footsteps on the floor sounding like a ticking clock.

After a while I hear some humming from the hallway. Jamie can tell from the look of fear on my face that it's Will.
He rushes to me, pulling me up and standing behind me before bringing the knife to my throat. "Don't say a word."
I wouldn't be able to anyway, because he places his hand over my mouth to make sure of it.

It's like slow motion. The key turning in the lock, the handle pressing down, I pray Will takes one look at this runs for help, but I know he won't.
The door clicks shut, although the noises are being drowned out from how hard I hear Jamie's heart beating. Is he scared too?

"Iz? You here?"
Will must be suspicious with how quiet it is.

Jamie presses his hand harder over my mouth, making himself known.

"We're right in here...why don't you come join us Will?"