7 Months Later

"Will, have you seen my car keys?"

"If I had a dollar for every time you asked me that I'd be rich Izzy."

"Richer!"

His smirk drops, he hates when I do that.
"Very funny, they're on the hook in the kitchen, where they always are."

"Ugh, I liked them in the hallway. They were easier to find."

"Yes Isobel, I too found it easy to find your keys when I stood on them while barefoot, but I thought maybe the hook was more practical."

I'm late, I have an end of year showcase on at the school and I am so so late. I hop my way into the kitchen, one shoe on and the other in my hand.

"Here, before you break your ankle", Will hands  over the keys, taking a second to throw an eye over my outfit. It's appropriate, a fitted black pencil skirt dress and black heels, you'd be forgiven for thinking I was on my way to a funeral. Not that that's where Will's train of thought is at all.

"You know...if you're already late..."

"No! That's the reason I'm late in the first place!"

"Fine", he pouts his bottom lip out. I lean in and kiss it, careful to keep it brief incase I get swept up all over again.

His eyes light up with a sudden idea.
" I think you should get yourself a pair of glasses."

"I don't need glasses?"

"I know, but I really like that librarian look you have going on there."

I deadpan, honestly his appetite is crazy these days.
"Is that all you think about?"

"Would you rather I didn't think about it at all?"

"Men!", I shake my head at him. "I'll see you later."

As I step out the front door I call into him one more time, feeling bad for sounding short.
"I'll see what I can do about the glasses...creep."

"Says the one offering. Good luck, I love you Iz"

"I love you too. Bye!"

I was lucky. Beyond lucky actually. I decided to contact the college a couple weeks after Will and I left. What was the harm right?

We figured we no longer had to run too far across the country now that there was some sort of agreement in place with Jamie and his father. Instead we opted for Erie, Pennsylvania. It was only about an hour and a half away.
I couldn't stay in Ardeen after it all happened, Jamie was still there, that was enough for me to know I didn't want to be.
We moved just days after the confrontation at Jamie's office, and I haven't been back since.

My college took the whole situation into consideration, and when they came back with an answer a week later, it was with a placement in a school close by to the neighbourhood we had picked.
It was a little late, but they waved the time I missed, which they really didn't have to do. I still did everything I could to catch up though.

I've been teaching three days a week at the school since then. I'm officially a fully qualified music teacher as of last week. There'll be a full graduation next month, but I've already started applying to some available positions I found for September. I'll be seeing out the last month of the school year where I am though of course.

It's nice here in Erie, we spend a lot of time out at the lake. I don't think either of us feel that it's our forever home, but it's our right now one.

We did eventually go to Denver, just not as originally planned. We went over the Christmas break to visit Wills mom Cheryl. She had been disappointed after his last minute cancellation, so we promised to stay the full two weeks.

I've never been so nervous meeting anybody in my whole life, but she was lovely. So welcoming and sweet. It was weird in a way because with her it was like talking to Will but looking at Annie. The similarities were almost creepy. Her partner Bruce was pretty cool too.
I could tell Will had them warned not to ask me anything about Jamie or what happened, and honestly it was amazing to have nobody mention anything about it the whole time I was there. Between everyone back home checking in and the therapy, I felt like I was never getting a break from it all.

When we got back to Erie after Christmas, I promised myself a fresh start and slowly began to change the direction of conversations when it came up, I didn't want it to be anybody's first association with me anymore. I started to only speak about it when it was a must.

Will hasn't done so bad for himself since we left either. He continued to travel back and forth to play shows, the guys travel out here too. Every few weeks my apartment is filled with men all weekend. But if it works for them then it works for me. Not that Will really needs to do it at all.

When we first left he took a lot of time while we found our feet and dedicated it to writing. Somewhere down the line he was asked to play some pieces to an A&R Director that already knew of him. They heard something they liked and wanted to pair him with an artist they had in mind.

He met with them, not expecting to really go through with it at all, but two hours later and he had agreed to write more. One of the performers was just starting out, but they used one of Wills songs at the last minute and it really took off, it was crazy. Hes been getting phone calls for weeks.

Between that and the bar, Will could live a very comfortable life and do nothing if he wanted to, but he chooses to keep going. I love that about him.

It took us both a while to find our groove together. We essentially never even dated, we went from two people sneaking moments together to a couple living together over night. There were things about each other that we had to quickly get used to, Will was a whole lot more of a clean freak than he lead me to believe originally, I thought I was tidy but he is next level. Still, I've come around to his ways over time. Just like he's had to accept my need to decorate for every little holiday that comes our way.

I struggled way more than I realised I would with the intimacy side of things at first. But Will never rushed me, not once. He never asked if or when it might happen, he just allowed the space.
It took a lot of therapy, a lot, but eventually one night as we sat and watched my favourite move for the tenth time, I knew I'd be okay. I didn't think about anything or anyone else, I knew that I trusted Will and that was all I needed.

That's what most things have been like with us. A step by step scenario. And for the most part it's worked. We haven't been without our disagreements, but when we do, I can voice my opinion without so much a flinching. I put that down to Will. He's taken the time to understand my triggers, to make sure he never makes me feel threatened in any way. There's a lot of work that's been done on both sides, but the fact he's willing to make sure I'm comfortable above all else is all I'll ever need.

Annie just short of lived on my hip before we left, she's been here at least once a month since. Sometimes if Will plans to be away playing with the band, she'll stay the whole weekend with me just so I'm not alone. She told me one night that I didn't find Will at all, I found her, and he just happened to be there too. I'd say she's half right.

Her and Adam decided to continue living together despite her struggle to get used to it at first. I think she over sold it to be honest, I think she loved having him from the minute he walked through the door with his bags.

She doesn't know it yet but he's throwing her a surprise party for her birthday this weekend. It's not for another two weeks but they'll be on vacation so Adam chose this weekend.
At this point she thinks no one has remembered. I plan to be there, as does Will. It will be my first time back in Ardeen, but so far I'm alright with it.
I have some mail to pick up from a P.O Box that I forwarded all my things to anyway. Annie and Sarah have been picking it up for me, but it would be nice to save them the job for once.

As I'm driving I give Sarah a quick call. She's a couple days over due now and there's still no sign of that baby coming. Will and I are currently taking bets as the days pass. If there's no baby by tomorrow afternoon, I'm out another twenty dollars. She answers the phone with a grunt.

"I'm still pregnant."

"Well hello to you too sunshine."

"Izzy, what did I do to deserve this? Honestly was I like a murderer in a past life? I just want this kid out of me."

"Does it help at all if I remind you that you're nearly there?"

"It helps me decide if I want to hurt you or not."

"That bad?"

"It feels like my ribs are ready to crack, my back hasn't stopped spasming in I don't know how long, I don't remember what my feet look like and I can't count the amount of times I've pee'd today...so yeah, that bad."

"So what you're saying is, that it won't help if I tell you that I'm having a good day?"

I hear her sigh on the other end of the phone.
"I really want to say it would but no, it doesn't. And I know that makes me a bad person but you know what, I don't even care. If I'm suffering, I want everyone around me to suffer."

This pregnancy has been tough on her. Hyperemesis, back issues, indigestion, uncontrollable peeing, I've heard about it all. It's been enough to make me want to avoid sex altogether.
I'm sure once the baby arrives she will forget it ever happened though, hopefully.

"I'll be there this weekend, by then the baby will surely be here and I can give you some time to yourself. How does that sound?"

"Like heaven. Are you doing okay? With coming home I mean."

"Yeah, I think I'm ready. It's not like Jamie knows I'm coming back or has a reason to try see me. He's stayed away and he's made no contact since we left, I don't think there's going to be anything more from him."

"Good, well Mark is more than happy to go with you wherever you need too, you've nothing to worry about."

"Thank you, and Mark, but I'll be fine. Will is going to be with me the whole time. I don't plan to be near any of his old haunts or the apartment at all, so I can't see how anything could happen."

I hear her sigh on the end of the phone, I know she would have loved if I stayed, or even visited more.
"Do you ever wish you'd pressed charges, maybe he'd be where he should be and seeing him wouldn't ever be a worry for you?"

"Sometimes... but not because I want to come back. There's been times where I've wondered if he's seeing somebody. If they're like me, if he's possibly doing the same things to her. I never considered any of that when I left, I just wanted to go. But now I worry that because I did nothing, that someone else is suffering because of me."

"Because of him Izzy. Not you."

"I guess."

Well,If it helps at all, his social media is pretty dry, it doesn't look like he's seeing anyone, not that he really posts anything."

"What are you? Some kind of detective?"

"I like to keep an eye on things."

"You're a good sister Sarah, but really, I'm not scared. I'm going to enjoy seeing my new baby niece or nephew, and have some fun over the rest of the weekend too, it has to happen sometime."

It's funny, after we left I couldn't think about going back without having a panic attack, but it's been months now since I've had one and I don't feel stressed about any coming on either. That's another feather in the therapy cap.

"Your friend would have told you if he had heard anything too right?"

"Right."

She means Karl. He's kept in contact a little bit. Checking in every few weeks, making sure all agreements are being followed. He insists it's Rosemary henpecking him to do it but I don't think so. I think he might actually have a soft spot for me deep down, despite his rough around the edges demeanour.

Rosemary had their baby recently. A little girl they named Ursula after his mom. I sent a gift to Rosemary's mother's house, that's where they're staying for now. They bought a house in the neighbourhood beside hers just like they wanted. It's not quite decorated to their taste yet so they're staying with her until it's completed, much to Karl's dismay.

Speaking of decorating, that reminds me that Donna has been updating the master bedroom at my Dads house, their house I suppose now.

"Oh hey Sarah. Did you see the colour Donna painted the bedroom? She sent me a picture yesterday."

"Oh Izzy, poor Dad, I don't know if he was ready for the world of purple that came his way. Wait, actually, did she show you the bridesmaids dresses she wants?"

I shudder at the thought. They were awful.
"Ew, yes!...why did we agree to it again?"

"Because she's good for Dad and we love her?"

"Right...that's was it. That dress could really change that you know."

I won't say that it was easy to pick things up with my dad, it really wasn't, it still isn't, but he does try. Im still very bitter about a lot of things he said or did. There's stuff he can't talk about yet, espically around the accident, so I focus on tackling my feelings around the things he can talk about for now.

He helped us move, and then he came over to build half of the furniture too, I don't think I'll be in a rush to have him around that much again, but it's been okay.

We try to take baby steps. He comes over every once in a while to fix things up around the apartment. Being helpful seems to be his thing. When he's working on stuff he's able to talk more, maybe it's the distraction of being busy, I'm not sure. All I know is that I'm running out of things for him to do, one time I even broke the plug of the toaster just so we could keep the pace.

My therapist originally wanted me to keep Dad at arms length for a while. She thought it was best to tackle one thing at a time and the fact I had been through such a 'major event' (that's what she calls it) with Jamie meant that trying to take on two things could really hinder the progress of another.

I don't know though, it didn't feel right to me. The man had literally kicked a door down to get me away from Jamie, that had to stand for something. So I did what I thought was best for me and tried to see what we could do to have some sort of relationship.

It wasn't without problems, once we argued so bad that we were literally screaming at each other. He wasn't willing to recognise something he said to me as a kid and I wasn't prepared to back down. I stormed out of my own apartment and didn't come back until he was gone.

I figured that was it, we were done with everything, but there he was, as scheduled two weeks later, tool box in hand ready to keep things going.
I have to be careful how I approach things with him, he doesn't want me to use my hippie therapy on him - his words. So I can't say things like 'trauma' without getting an eye roll from him.

"Maybe I can tell her I have an aversion to purple since the pregnancy?"

"I don't think that's how aversions work Sarah."

"Hum...I'll have to try be diplomatic somehow, that's not usually my strong point. Maybe you can do it? Since I'll be so busy with the baby and all."

"I think this might be one of those things we have to suck up sis. It's just a pity there'll be photographic evidence. But maybe I'll get Will a suit to match!"

"Oh I love that idea! Mark too!"

"If you can't beat em', join em' right?"

"Exactly! Anyway, I hate to cut this short but these two little ladies need to go to bed, but I'll call you if I blow up okay?"

"Do, I've money riding on it."

"You better not."

"Love you! Tell the girls I miss them!"

"Izzy you better not!"

I hang up the phone before she can actually get mad about it. Someone has to enjoy this time if it's not going to be her.

Her question about Jamie plays on my mind a little. It has been for a while.
I never mentioned it to anyone except Will, but about two months ago I got an email from Tom, Jamie's Dad. He said he wanted to 'check in'. I had a feeling that something wasn't right so I called him, pressing him on it. He told me that Jamie had gone off the rails a little, and that they were having trouble contacting him.

I freaked out, I thought for sure he knew where I was and that he was coming.
It took a lot for Will to talk me out of packing up our things.

Two days later his sister Mel sent me a follow up email. They found him, he was on a binge with some friends. I'm not sure why she thought I'd care what he was doing, I just wanted to know he wasn't near me. Honestly I think she and Tom were both more concerned with the video. I imagine they only contacted me in case I somehow heard and pulled the trigger on its release.

It was hard to tell how much Mel knew from just the email, I had intensionally blocked my new number when I called Tom so they couldn't have it. But I got the impression that as far as she was concerned, all the blame for Jamies spiral lay with me. So I made sure my response had a few details that I assumed Jamie and Tom had left out. I didn't hear from her again after that, or Tom.

I shake Jamie from my thoughts as I pull into the carpark at the school. I have to focus tonight, we all need this showcase to go well. The school hasn't held one before so there's a lot riding on its success.

When I'm not at the school I work at a local bar some evenings and Saturdays. It's a very casual gig. Will plays there sometimes on his own. It's a run down little place so it's quiet for the most part, I'll often get to stand behind the bar and just watch him play. It reminds me of the time he first sang to me in the office at Benny's. No nerves, full eye contact and making me weak at the knees. He still does it.

Tonight however, the only thing making me weak at the knees is nerves for the students. This is a huge chance to show off their talents.
And I'll get to meet and greet the parents too.
There's no violinists, I had to take that one on the chin.
Over all that didn't matter though because I haven't stopped playing it myself since we moved in. To say I was rusty was an understatement. But it wasn't a talent I was going to let go to waste. Just about everyday I take an hour and I play, if Will is there he might strum along but I can't say we've managed many crossovers that sound good. I'm still picking back up the classic stuff for now.

Sometimes I'll record what I play and send it to Carol. That's as per her instruction, not my own.
She and Michelle went travelling as planned, they're still at it now. We text a lot, most days actually. I've a whole album in my phone dedicated to the pictures they send me of the places they go.

I don't think either of them could quite believe what happened when I had to tell them. I know Carol was never a Jamie fan but neither of them  for a moment suspected what was really happening.
I know a big part of them was disappointed that I never felt I could confide in them. It's really hard for them to understand that it wasn't that I felt I couldn't tell them, it's that I was too afraid to.

I suppose in the end they were just grateful to know that things hadn't ended the way they could have. I didn't get to see them off on their travels, but we do plan to meet somewhere along the way for a week this summer. Just me, them and the wilderness. That should be fun.

                               ——————

The showcase is running smooth, I got here just in time and there hasn't been a single glitch, but during the interval, I get a phone call from Mark, I know its got to be about the baby so I sneak outside to answer.

"Is she at the hospital?"
Nerves and excitement swirl in my stomach.

"Not quite!", He chuckles. "Seems little Dylan couldn't wait to get here. She delivered him right here in the bedroom twenty minutes ago."

"Dylan? A boy!? Mark you have a baby boy!"

"I know, I can't believe it either. I was so sure it was a girl, I even bought little pink socks!"

"How's Sarah? Is she doing okay?"

"We've an ambulance on route, I'm not too sure what happens here, I figure they'll take her and the baby to the hospital to be checked over, she's alright, exhausted, but feeling good."

"I can't believe it was all so quick. You must have been so panicked."

"That's an understatement. This is absolutely our last one Izzy, because I won't ever forget the things I just saw!"

"Oh boohoo, try doing it."

"Hey I won't argue with you there! Anyway, the ambulance is just pulling up now, Sarah wanted to make sure you were the first to know. I'll send you some pictures so you can see the little guy in a while...he's perfect Izzy. I know I've done this twice already but there's no feeling like it. It's surprises me every time."

"Aww, I'm so happy for you guys. You need me to call any one?"

"No, we should be okay. I'll let you know what way things go with the hospital."

"Alright, Tell Sarah I love her, and that I'm proud of her. And that i can't wait to hear about this for the next year."

Mark laughs away to himself again.
"I will, talk soon sis."

I call Will right away to tell him, I'm far too excited not to share the news. I'm equally as excited to tell him that he lost the bet too.

As massively distracted as I am, we finish the showcase and it's flawless. A huge success. The parents loved it and it was great to show off what our students can do. We've some amazing talent at the school and it was about time we got to put it out there.

Afterward I get to meet some parents, I wasn't sure if I'd enjoy this part but actually it was easily the best bit. Often meeting parents makes some of the kids easier to understand but it also shows how well supported a lot of them are too.

It's a little later than I expected by the time we finish and I get to go home. I don't mind though because I am completely buzzed for Sarah and Mark. I won't sleep for hours.

"There's the new aunt! How was the concert?"
Will greets me at the door with a kiss and a glass of wine, he's heaven sent.

I barely get my shoes off before I'm showing him the pictures that Mark sent me.
"I'm so excited to meet him. Ugh I just love it when they're all tiny and cute and want cuddles and can't answer me back. It's the best."

"We can always go early if you're that eager? We could pack a bag tonight and go tomorrow, there's only a day in the difference."

The sudden change in timeline makes me uneasy, it's not a new feeling to me. Ever since I was locked into the bathroom, I need to have a solid plan in place for what's happening next.
Will can sense that I'm unsure by my hesitation to answer, so he back tracks entirely, making me feel oversensitive.
"You know what, let's stick to the plan, I wasn't thinking...there's no point rushing anything."

This is the part of it all that I hate. The fact that I can never really do anything on a whim. I need to constantly know where I'm going and how I'm getting there and what's going to happen in between. That's not the type of person that Will is at all, so I know it's hard for him too.

"No, you know what, let's do it. I'm sure Sarah would appreciate the help with the girls and if it means I'll get to see the baby sooner then it's completely worth it."

"Are you sure? It's your first time back in Ardeen Iz, it could bring up a lot for you."

"And if it does, I've done enough therapy to manage my way through it. I haven't had a panic attack in months, I've just qualified, it's Annie's birthday and I have a brand new nephew to meet. Those are all good things, so let's do it. We need to celebrate something!"

"If you're sure..."

"I am, it will be fun. Oh but wait! Don't go rushing to pack yet, I have something for you!"

"For me?"

"Yes! Take a little look in my purse."

Will gives me a mischievous look as he dips his hand into my bag, finding the item I grabbed from the lost and found at school.

"Glasses?"

"Um hum...and I might have even stolen them."

He drops my purse, wrapping his arms around my waist.
"Isobel Tully! Thats the kind of thing that gets you into trouble you know."

"I thought I was meant to be the authoritarian in this scenario no?" 

"How about we worry about who's who after?"

"After what?"

Will throws me a look that I've now come to know means 'please stop talking so I can fuck your brains out.' I love it when he looks at me like that...I love everything that comes with it too.

He leans into me, leaving soft kisses down my neck.
"Oh", I say quietly. "You mean after that!"