MEGAN

I looked up at him in fear, but I could see his shock reflect in his eyes. For a second, I thought his eyes softened on seeing me, but it was soon replaced with a scowl. He took his hands away and tucked it inside his pockets as if he had touched an untouchable.

We just stood there staring at each other for what seemed like hours, neither of us wanting to be the first one to speak. My greedy eyes took in his features. The first thing that I noticed were his eyes which were a color of twilight sky – dark and beautiful. His hair was disheveled like it always was. His stubble had grown, and it made him look sexy. He looked so handsome standing so close to me. I wanted to reach and see if I was dreaming again.

I tucked my hair behind my ears and looked away. I didn't know if I could survive his stare that were calculative and analyzing. I cleared my throat and even though my sane mind told me that it was more than enough adventure for one day, my heart had a mind of its own. And it pleaded with my mouth to open up.

"How... how are you?" I stuttered like an idiot. As if I hadn't spoken in years. My voice was hoarse, like I had swallowed dry sand only a few seconds ago.

I heard a scoff. "Are you fucking kidding me right now?" He put his hands on his waist and looked away. "How am I? Really?"

"Sorry." I muttered, looking at my foot again. The Miles I knew had never once spoken to me like he was speaking now. There was an edge to his voice that was pushing me to hyperventilate. Perhaps it was best if I just left.

I turned around, not wanting to see his cold face again. But his words rooted me to the spot yet again.

"It's been two years, seven months and eleven days." I whisked my head to look at him in wonder. He kept count? Just like I did? "After all that you are asking me how I am?"

He looked like he had given up. Like he was defeated of everything. For a while, I thought I was seeing the Miles I knew. Maybe he hadn't changed at all. Just when I thought he hadn't, his eyes turned into fire.

"My life didn't stop just because you screwed me over!" He hissed. He grabbed my elbow and yanked it towards him. "I'm a CEO and managing director of hotels! I am ruling the world and guess what? It's without you!"

Unlike the times that I stayed quiet and absorbed things from Miles in my dream, I put on a brave face. I jerked my hand away from him.

"I screwed you over?" I asked, anger radiating off of me. "Fuck you, Miles! You were the one who played with me!"

"I wasn't playing with you, Megan!" He screamed. "I was trying to keep you happy for heaven's sake! And it isn't easy!"

"You lied to me in the name of keeping me happy! How could I ever believe you?" He took a step closer to me, his eyes boring into mine. But I went on. "You went behind my back to alter my life!"

He put his hand around my hair and pulled it violently. The pain was too much to bear. My hands instantly went to land on his, trying hard to let me go. But he was stronger and no matter how much I pushed him away, he seemed to come back with greater force.

"You ruined me." He pulled my hair backwards. I lifted my head up to make sure that it pained less. "You discarded me." He twisted my hair in his hand. "You left me."

"Miles, you are hurting me." I cried, asking him to let me go, but he looked like he was a man who had been possessed by the demon himself. "I'm sorry. Let me go!"

With that he pushed me to the ground, and I jerked awake.

It took me hours to realize that I had only been dreaming. My hands were clammy and I was crying from the impact of my dream. It had been way too long since I had a dream where Miles had been hurting me physically. In reality, Miles had never laid a finger on me. Why the dreams were catching up the negativity was still a mystery.

Not able to sleep anymore, I got up and walked outside. I was at the Smith's place having a sleepover making sure that the old couple were comfortable. I was only happy that I hadn't started to shout yet.

No amount of sleeping pills were working for me and if they did, they only left me scared and edgy. It had been ten days since I had seen him at the party, yet I couldn't get over the fact that we had kissed like Neanderthals.

As I walked through the hallway, I settled with a glass of hot green tea and wondered if I could find a newspaper to pass the time. I switched on the small lamp near the television set and pulled out a drawer to see if I could find papers. But instead, I found, Smith's reports.

All five heart attack reports were filed neatly and were tucked. Before I could think better of it, I had grabbed them, settling down on the couch and flipping through the pages.

April 17 was his first heart attack, the same one which they had forgotten to mention it to me since it had been only a week, I moved to Primetown. The attack was minor one and the reports said that the main reason was cholesterol.

August 22 was his second heart attack. It was a major one and that was when Hannah had called me to come to see him. I remembered that Hannah was so scared that she thought that night was the last night we were ever going to see Smith. Back in Primetown, I had taken two sleeping pills and had just rested my head on the pillow when the call had come. I had rushed out of the house with anger, fear and desperation to save him.

When I had reached there, I was mentioned that it was his second one. I had screamed and shouted at everyone. I blamed Hannah, Amber and even Smith for not letting me know. I had pulled tantrums saying them that they made me feel unimportant and had only waited for me to get away from them.

It was the first time that I had my major panic attack that I had been admitted to the hospital. I had dropped down unconscious as soon as I had finished my screams. The hospital hadn't let me go home due to my repeated attacks.

All my medications were doubled, and the previous ones were changed to the new ones with a special weekly report to the therapist for a healthy mind. Since then, Smith and Hannah had decided to keep me in their circle letting me know even if they were having doubts.

"Not sleepy?" I was startled when I saw Hannah standing behind me with a glass of water. Her hair had come out of her bun and she was looking at me weirdly, already calculating the need for me to sit alone in the hall.

"Hannah, you scared me." I said, keeping my hand on my chest. "See, you spilled my tea too."

"What's keeping you awake, sweetie?" She asked, ignoring my whines. She came around the couch and sat next to me. "Didn't you take your medicines? Is that what is keeping you awake?"

"No, I did." I said, looking away. I didn't want to tell her that I was having nightmares again. I had decided to play safe with them all. With everything that she was dealing with, I didn't want to tell her about my nightmares and scare her away. "Why are you not sleeping?" I asked, changing the subject. She only raised her glass of water and took a sip from it. "That explains it."

"What are you doing with those files?" Hannah scolded me, taking away those files and placing it back to the same drawer. "How did you find it? I wanted it hidden from you."

I chuckled at her. Just like how I wanted to protect her from my nightmares, she wanted to protect me from hers. "With my history, Hannah, you should have known that I'm very good at finding things out."

"Sweetie." Hannah sighed. The air in the room had shifted to something that was too heavy for a night conversation. And in all honestly, I didn't want to talk about it to her or to my therapist. "What happened? You never told me what happened after you came back from Laura's party."

My stomach twisted uncomfortably, and I knew she was hitting the spot giving me an opportunity to tell her what happened all by myself. But it was something that I wanted to keep it as my own.

"Did you meet him there?" Hannah asked, placing her hands on my lap to get my attention back on her. "Miles and Mark are close, aren't they?"

"I... no... I was at the other side and he... he was at another..." I stuttered like an idiot and I could tell that Hannah wasn't buying my bullshit.

The conversation brought me back to the kiss that I was supposed to forget. The kiss was reckless and happened without my mind being active. It just took me by surprise but what made it irresponsible was that I gave in too after knowing that he still had power over me.

It felt like he was the vast oasis in my deserted world. He was the anchor to my ship in the endless ocean. He was the cool breeze on my summer night. He was everything that completed me, that made me stay afloat. But whatever we had was over. And I had to get my head wrapped around it, rather than giving in to the fantasies.

"I spoke to Amber." Hannah mentioned. "You have become quieter after that party. And she doesn't know why either."

I tried to muster all my medicated wits to come up with a good excuse that would give Hannah a believable excuse. But with Hannah looking at me as if I was a problem to be solved, my head become void of coherent words and went plain blank. She came and sat next to me.

"It's nothing Hannah." I assured with a smile. "I'm good. You don't have to worry about me."

"Listen honey, I know it's been hard for you for the last couple of years." She said, tucking my hair behind my ears as I tried my best to hold my composure and not cry at her words. "To be abandoned for most of your life and just when you felt like you were almost there, you were pulled back again."

"Hannah, please don't." I muttered. I didn't know if I could keep still with her words stinging my ears. It was all pity and that was the only thing I was getting my way these days. At least with Miles, it was anger and hatred. Perhaps, I could deal with that.

"You need to hear this, Megan." Hannah's eyes were filled, but she smiled at me. "I want you to remember something, dear. No one can hurt you unless you let them." She got up and stood in front of me. "You don't have to tell me what's happening. I'm sure you can handle them better than anyone. I only want you to make decisions that make you happy."

She reached over and wiped my tears away. "Good night, sweetie." She kissed my forehead. "Try to get some sleep, okay?"

I nodded my head, unable to get my voice out.

---

"You need to visit often, Megan." Smith said as I stood in their doorway for the last half hour claiming to bid goodbye to my favorite couple.

"I will." I smiled as I shifted my weight from my right leg to the left. "Till then, promise me that there won't be any more steaks and cheese on your dinner plate."

Smith rolled his eyes.

"I don't think he would promise you that, Megan." Hannah gave him a look. "He would make it sound as if it's his last dinner and there won't be anything I can do to deny what he wants."

"Smith." I warned.

"Well, I can take some advantage of what I have, can't I?" He shrugged, making me shake my head at his stupid thoughts.

"Then the next time you call me over because you felt like your heart ached, I won't wait till the morning." I wagged my forefinger at him. "I'll be calling an ambulance and taking you straight to the hospital where they will give you those horrible liquids to fill your tummy."

"Hey, my tummy has gone down drastically." He retorted while Hannah rolled her eyes at him, making me bite my lip from smiling.

"Maybe broccoli and cabbage would help it grow again." I winked at Hannah for which she only laughed while Smith came up with another tantrum.

I could spend my whole day arguing with Smith and I won't be tired at all. He was so grumpy all the time that it always cheered me up to tease him about his ways. There were times when we argued for simple things like breakfast.

If I was getting these few moments to cherish and make him remember those days, then I was up for it.

"You should get going if you want to open your shop today." Hannah said when Smith hadn't put out his thoughts out yet.

"Yeah." I nodded my head again. "I'll get going. If there is anything, please call me."

"Take care, honey." Hannah said, waving her hand in the air as I made my way towards my car.

"Don't make me fake a heart attack for you to visit here again." Smith smiled brightly.

"Hannah, please make sure that he eats broccoli today for making fun of his health." I stuck my tongue out at Smith. With a last wave of goodbye, I drove away from them to the shop.

My shop Mystique Flowers had been my dream from the time I could remember. It was an inception that sprouted out to become a successful venture getting printed in our Boulevard Chronicles – local newspaper – only after a year.

It was only Amber and I in the shop, maintaining almost everything ourselves. But when I went off radar, Amber had found it too tough to maintain it all by herself. She had sent me a picture of a guy whom she had hired for help.

It had been almost two months since I had come back, and I had never once stepped into the shop for the fear of the media. Now, with a new celebrity having a kid, I knew I was off the charts to make it to the front page.

With Amber gone to her parents, I knew I had to do this all on my own. A part of me was growing antsy in the house where I did nothing but think out loud only to end up in a muddle of tears. I had to become what I was before – strong and independent.

I had to work to keep myself occupied. It was the only mantra I had held onto myself to keep me sane. It was time that I took those things seriously and started working on it again. That was when I realized that I had to go to shop and take my position back. If not anything, it would help me keep my mind off of things.

As I parked my old truck in its normal place, I saw that the shop was still the same. The banner which read Mystique flowers, had faded and needed repainting. There were no wilted flowers anywhere near the shop. All the new designs for the bouquets were neatly displayed across the glass windows.

I smiled at the nostalgic effect that hit me when I unlocked the familiar door. A wave of flowery scent wafted over as I entered, giving me a sense of relief and content. I could tell that it was the daisies and tulips that were causing such a pleasant atmosphere around here.

It was the first time I was entering the shop after all these times that I wanted to take my time to relish it. The only change that was noticeable was the new wallpapers and a new set of designs that had come up. I smiled as I approached the blooming rose buds and sniffed the scent, getting accustomed to it.

"Good morning." An unfamiliar voice called out and I turned to see a college kid, smiling down at me. With the photo that Amber had already sent me, I knew it was Thomas, the guy she had hired. He looked better than I had seen in the photos. With a toned body and a dark skin, he looked too manly to be a kid. His grey eyes twinkled as he extended his hand towards me. "I'm Thomas. You must be Megan. Amber couldn't shut up about you."

I chuckled. I had already starred liking this kid. "I have heard a lot about you too." I shook his hand lightly. "How long have you been working here?"

"It will be two years this summer." He said, as he walked towards the rose buds to get them out of the water. I could tell that he knew his way around. "I only wanted to be here for the last summer, but then, I learnt that girls love flowers, and so here I am."

I shook my head with a smile. Boys. I helped him get the rose buds set on the table. "So, you are a student here on a part time job?"

"Yeah, pretty much." He said, pulling out the plastic sheets that we used to make the bouquets. "I had moved here back then. My parents had already paid for my college and tuitions. They were giving me stink eyes whenever I asked them money to spend for myself."

"So, this makes you independent, huh?" I cocked one eyebrow at him.

"You can say that. And Amber pays me more than enough." He said. "Shit! I wasn't supposed to tell that out loud."

"Your secret is safe with me." I smiled. "So, are there any deliveries today or only events?"

"Only deliveries." He said, keeping his eyes on the bouquet he was preparing. "There are competitions from the plastic flowers now, but most of them still prefer the original ones."

"Thank God for that." I said, making my way towards the book that held the address of the deliveries. "You want to go to the deliveries, or should I?"

"I have a class at eleven today, so if you don't mind, can you do it and be back by eleven?" He asked looking at me with confusion.

"Not a problem." I said. "I usually did the deliveries anyway."

"Thanks a ton, Megan." Thomas gave me a toothy smile. "By this time, Amber and I would have had a million things to argue about."

"Well, I'm here to save your ass then." I gave him a salute, arranging things to get the deliveries done. Just as I picked up the trash to clear the area, I thought I saw a familiar Mercedes parked at the corner of the other block.

Without warning, I walked towards the door to see if I was imagining. As I opened the door and stepped outside, there was nothing out of the ordinary and certainly no Mercedes.

---

A/N: Don't you think Megan's fears are her enemies? Do you ever get dreams like those? I sometimes jerk awake feeling like I'm falling down a cliff.

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