The soft glow of dawn painted the sky as Taehyung drove through the quiet streets, his car cutting through the early morning stillness. The weight of the truth he had learned about Jeongguk's sacrifices lingered in his thoughts, propelling him toward the one person who had silently shouldered so much for their relationship.

Upon reaching Jeongguk's apartment, Taehyung took a deep breath, the crisp air awakening his senses. He stepped out of the car and approached the front door, the anticipation building with each passing moment. He raised his hand and knocked, the sound echoing through the silent morning.

Seconds later, the door creaked open, revealing a disheveled Jeongguk, his eyes heavy with sleep but no longer clouded by the haze of alcohol. The surprise and confusion etched on Jeongguk's face melted into a mixture of vulnerability and curiosity.

"Taehyung?" Jeongguk's voice held a hint of disbelief.

Taehyung offered a small, sincere smile. "Can we talk?"

Jeongguk nodded, stepping back to allow Taehyung entry. They settled on the couch, a palpable tension filling the room.

"How are you feeling now? Sober?" Taehyung asked.

Jeongguk looked puzzled. "How did you know I was drunk?"

"Jin told me that you passed out a few hours back. I know I should've come to see you much later, but I couldn't wait"

"Oh, right. I was with Jin" Jeongguk muttered. "And I'm okay now. Completely sober. You know I recover quickly"

Taehyung smiled. "Yeah"

"Why are you here? Didn't think we would meeting again after that night..."

"I know what you did, Jeongguk" Taehyung's voice was stern.

Jeongguk raised his eyebrows. "Huh?"

"I know what you did 10 years ago. You applied to the university I applied to, because you wanted to be with me"

Jeongguk's eyes widened. "What? How do you know that?"

"Jin told me"

"Jin? Did I tell him that? Fuck!" Jeongguk cursed.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"What difference would it make?" Jeongguk asked. "Would you not have broken up with me 10 years back? I would've told you about it if you didn't. Would you not have broken up with me two days ago, maybe, if you knew?"

Taehyung sighed.

"When you broke up with me back then, I decided to just go to SNU. Because what use is it to go to the same university as you when we are no longer together?" Jeongguk spoke.

"But you should've told me. You just straight up said that you didn't want to do long-distance and I thought you didn't want to make any effort for this relationship" Taehyung said. "Little did I know that you were making a much bigger sacrifice"

"I know I should've told you but..."

"But you were too busy managing everything on your own. Because you were mad at me for choosing a different university without telling you about it so you were too petty to tell me that you were indeed trying to follow me there too"

Jeongguk sighed. "You know how I am"

"And you are still petty. You would take that information to your grave than tell me what you did back then"

Jeongguk let out a small chuckle. "I would"

"And your father threatened to disown you? Jeongguk, I chose that university because it offered the best law program in the country. SNU offers the best Business Studies program in the country. You shouldn't have to choose me over your education. That's why I proposed to do long-distance"

"I know but I had nothing to lose, Taehyung. I would own my father's business one way or the other; regardless of the university I attended. He wouldn't; disown me and even if he did, I loved you too much to let you go"

"And then I broke up with you" Taehyung muttered. "I thought breaking up was the right thing, that you were just being unreasonable when you kept bringing up Beckson in every conversation. It was tiring and I thought you didn't want to make any effort to make this relationship work when you kept turning every conversation into an argument involving Beckson. But you were ready to change your entire life for us. I'm sorry"

"It's in the past" Jeongguk nodded, a mixture of emotions playing on his face. "I wanted to be with you, Tae. I was willing to do whatever it took."

"I wish I had known, Jeongguk. Maybe things would've been different," Taehyung confessed, regret etched in his expression.

Jeongguk sighed, a weight lifting off his chest. "I didn't want you to know back then. I wanted to make that choice for us without you feeling guilty or obligated."

"I get it now," Taehyung said, his tone sincere. "I understand why Beckson's involvement stirs up old wounds. It's not just about jealousy. it's a fear of losing me, a fear that stems from a past where I didn't see the sacrifices you were making, right?"

Jeongguk nodded, his guard softening. His eyes glistened, a mixture of gratitude and relief. "I've carried that with me, Tae. The fear that no matter what I do, I won't be enough. That I'll lose you."

Taehyung took a deep breath, regret etched on his face. "I should've trusted you, Jeongguk. I should've believed in your love for me."

Jeongguk sighed, his eyes reflecting years of longing and hurt. "I felt inadequate, like no matter what I did, I couldn't make you see my worth. And when Beckson came into our conversations again, it felt like history repeating itself."

Taehyung reached out, gently placing a hand on Jeongguk's. "I'm sorry. I should've seen your love, your sacrifice. I should've known that you were willing to make such a big sacrifice for us."

Jeongguk met Taehyung's gaze, vulnerability evident in his eyes. "I didn't want to bring it up again, but Beckson seemed like a reminder of the pain. I was scared of history repeating itself. But this conflict I have with myself and my inability to leave the past in the past... made me lose you once again. I want to move on and I don't want history repeating itself but I am also the person who still lives in the past and I always bring up the past and form a wedge between us. I hate it too, Taehyung. But it's how I'm wired. I can't help it. The mere fear of history repeating itself and losing you makes me talk about the past. Paradoxical, I know. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Taehyung nodded, a newfound understanding settling between them. "Of course. I do" Jeongguk had never been the person perfect with his words. He always has had many things running in his mind. Jeongguk's inability to communicate his feelings a decade back and Taehyung's inability to empathise with this quality of Jeongguk was another reason for their breakup.

"I'm sorry I couldn't understand and empathise with you before. I can be quite stubborn too"

Jeongguk smiled.

"I want to be patient with you, Jeongguk. I want to work through this together, without letting the past dictate our present."

Jeongguk looked at Taehyung, a mixture of hope and gratitude in his eyes. "Can we really do that, Tae?"

"Beckson will come up in conversations—it's inevitable. But we can't let it unravel us like it did before."

Jeongguk shifted uncomfortably, his eyes reflecting a mix of hesitation and vulnerability. "I can't help it, Tae. Every time his name comes up, it feels like a punch to the gut. It's like I'm back in high school, fearing that he'll take you away from me."

Taehyung reached across the table, his touch gentle. "But Jeongguk, he's not a threat. He won't be a part of our lives, physically or emotionally. It's just a name from the past. But you have to understand that he is in our past and always will be. Only in the past"

Jeongguk looked away, his jaw tense. "I know that logically, but emotionally, it's a different story. I still carry the scars from what happened back then."

Taehyung nodded, a deep understanding in his eyes. "I see that, Gukkie. And I want to help you heal from those scars. But we can't let it control our present. We're not the same people we were ten years ago."

Jeongguk sighed, a heavy burden evident in his expression. "I thought I moved on, Tae. I really did. But every time Beckson is mentioned, it's like a wound reopening."

"I see you now. I see the sacrifices you made and the love you've always had for me. I want to build a future where we don't let the past define us."

Taehyung walked over to Jeongguk, engulfing in a warm hug. "I'm sorry for not being patient with you. I should've been more understanding towards your wounds. It's my fault that I had no patience with you when you stirred up an argument every time Beckson came up. I promise to be more understanding towards your feelings and wounds from now on. Please trust me"

"I trust you, Tae" Jeongguk whispered, burying his face against Taehyung's neck.

"If something from the past bothers you, we can talk about it. I couldn't understand before that it's your wounds speaking whenever you brought Beckson up in a conversation. I didn't understand why it bothered you so much but now I do. So we can talk about it until you heal. You never got to heal before"

"I didn't"

"I will heal you"

"Tae" jJeongguk sniffled.

"I love you, Jeongguk. I can't lose you. I'm miserable without you and I don't want a future without you in it"

"I know. I'm miserable too, without you. I don't want to be without you. You're my other half"

"I always run away from problems, don't I? When things feel like they don't work, I run away. But I won't do that again with you. I won't run away from you"

"Promise?"

"I swear" Taehyung whispered. "I'm sorry it took me so long to understand the reality of the situation between us"

"It took me time too and it will take a little more time for me to heal. Thank you for being so understanding, Taehyung. I know that I can be unreasonable sometimes. I'm petty and insecure. I'm still childish and I know I tend to react the same way to some situations the same way I did a decade back. But I'm trying to improve, Taehyung"

"I know, my love. I understand you"

"You're the only person who can heal me. Your love is the only thing that can heal me"

"My love" Taehyung whispered, cupping Jeongguk's face with his hands. "I want to be the healing balm for every scar, every wound that time has etched into your heart. I want to be the warmth that soothes away the echoes of the past."

Jeongguk nodded, a tear escaping down his cheek. "I love you, Tae. I never stopped."

"I didn't either. There wasn't a single day in the last decade that you didn't cross my mind. Part of me always loved you and wanted to be with you"

Jeongguk nodded, smiling through tears. "I'm lucky to have someone like you love me"

Taehyung smiled, watching Jeongguk's twinkling eyes and seeing a future in them, more sure than ever. "Let's build a future where our love is stronger than the pain that once held us captive"

🪢

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