As hard as she tried to dispel all thoughts of him, Sif found the night most difficult of all.
She, like anyone else, had no control over her dreams, and much to her dismay, Loki was an ever present force in them.
His face continued to haunt her, sometimes oppressive with his lips curled in a malicious, menacing sneer, and at other times appearing more heavenly than her heart could bear.

She dreamed of him in the orchard, his pale face bathed in the starlight. Then of him on horseback, looking regal and handsome.
But the most disturbing of all, was of him bathing. Looking almost statuesque with his wet hair and the water glistening on his exposed flesh in the firelight.
She often woke with a start, drenched in sweat, heart thudding heavily in her chest.

During her waking hours, she tried her hardest to remain focused on other things.
She spent hours at the training grounds, focusing intently on sparring. Her companions, though glad to see her returning to her usual activities, were aware of an underlying silent force which seemed to be driving her.
Hogun particularly, who although sullen was undeniably wise and perceptive, was mindful not to mention Loki or his intended bride. Whenever it came up in conversation, he carefully and quickly steered the subject in a different direction.

It helped, Sif found, knowing that Loki had lied to her about whatever spell he must have cast upon her.
Like years ago, after the hair-cutting incident, she was filled with indignation, which made her resentful of him. She clung on to his resentment, using it as a means to an end.

But then something else happened, which caused her to completely lose what little control of her emotions she had left.
Loki began making appearances in public with Sigyn.
The first time, was during an evening banquet. Thor, Balder and the warriors three had returned from a long day's hunting and the residents of the palace were feasting in the great hall. Everyone was in high spirits and Frigga was present although Odin was not, which was not unusual as he often preferred the solace of his throne room.

Sif was laughing heartily at Volstagg and Balder's bantering.
Loki's continued absence had lulled her into a false sense of security. She'd finally been able to relax and almost fool herself into thinking that things were returning to their normal order.
Then all at once; he was there...

She caught sight of the unmistakable horns first, then the swirl of green and gold. For a moment she felt sure her heart actually stopped, then her stomach dropped as she noticed the petite, willowy figure in the doorway behind him.
Frigga made a tremendous fuss; standing to greet her adoptive son. He kissed her tenderly on the cheek, then turned and gestured for Sigyn to join him.

Sif watched with her insides churning, as the pretty Goddess sashayed over, her loose chestnut curls framing her neat features.
Frigga smiled and embraced her warmly as she had Loki, then the three of them sat and began talking as though Sigyn had been a part of the family since the dawn of time.

Try as she might, Sif could not tear her eyes away from the pair. Her mind whirled with the suspicion that perhaps behind closed doors, Loki had been spending a great deal of time with the Vanaheim beauty. Though she found herself hoping she was merely imagining it, she reasoned with herself.
Yet as she looked on, it was clear for all present to see their familiarity. The affectionate looks that passed between them, the closeness of their proximity and the way they whispered into each other's ears and laughed intimately.

Although trying to ignore the display and attempting to divert her attention, her eyes kept sliding across in their direction. Distractedly pushing the food around her plate, because although delicious, it had suddenly lost all taste to her. Her appetite had vanished along with her previous good humour.
Then when Loki reached out to gently push a stray curl behind Sigyn's delicate ear, she had to resist the urge to throw her knife at him. Or her.
Either would have sufficed in that moment.
She could take no more at the point, and hurriedly excused herself, mumbling something to the bewildered Balder about having a headache.

*********************

The very next day whilst making her way from the palace she saw them again. Together on horseback and similarly to the previous night, Loki didn't even cast a glance in Sif's direction. Seemingly unaware of her presence, and just totally absorbed with Sigyn.
Fighting to ignore the anger prickling at her, Sif strode purposefully on in the direction of the sparring arena; eyes fixed ahead...but his velvety voice caught her ears...

"Your hair is like the autumn, the colour is so dazzling out here in the sunlight"

A small, girlish giggle ensued from Sigyn, followed by a feathery reply,
"My Lord, you are quite adorable!"

Sif bit hard on her lip and quickened her pace, eager to be gone so she could hear no more.
It sickened her to know that this simpering, feeble girl who was not even of Asgard, so elfin-like and fragile in stature, had somehow succeeded in winning Loki's affections.
He, who had always been so guarded and nonchalant where love and emotions were concerned and in recent times portrayed himself to be practically immune, or rather incapable of any type of affection or gentleness.

Some said he had a heart of stone and would never love or be loved by anyone.
Yet here he was now, proving even the harshest of sceptics wrong. The whole realm was aghast at this unlikely turn of events.

The following evening Sif was in her chambers, changing out of her armour after having spent the day training with her warrior companions. She slipped on a pair of leather trousers and a simple long, chiffon tunic, pulling the band from her hair, and combing it through, opting to wear it down.
She had arranged to meet with the warriors three in the palace communal room; a less formal hall, containing soft seating and a roaring fire. It was a place for the Aesir to relax and socialise.

She was just about to leave when the sound of familiar laughter rang out from outside her window.
She froze, knowing that she recognised the laugh but not having heard it in such a long time, it made her hesitant to believe her own ears.
Filled with curiosity, she rushed across the room, through the the open balcony doors and peered over the side.
Her ears had not deceived her, for there in the gardens below, stood Loki...with Sigyn.

She could not hear what they were saying but both of them were smiling, and when he threw his head back, his laughter ringing out again, she felt the jealousy erupting inside her.
She had not heard or seen Loki laugh like this for many years. And somehow, it was this meek, wisp of a woman that was responsible for making him chuckle so joyously.
And then just when Sif thought she couldn't possibly feel any more disappointed and angry, he proved her wrong.

She watched in stunned horror as the trickster God gently cupped Sigyn's dainty face in his hands, and kissed her full on the lips.
The Vanir Goddess responded by wrapping her arms around his neck, running a small hand through his shiny, black tresses.

Unable to watch any longer, Sif stormed back inside, slamming the doors so hard behind her that the glass rattled in the frames. Her hands trembled in temper and she felt a lump forming in her throat. Why did she feel like crying? She wanted to scream and throw a childish tantrum. Resisting the urge to break something, instead she left her chambers and stomped off down the long corridor.

As she passed surprised looking guards, she was oblivious to their stares.
Their faces, along with the portraits and tapestries that decorated the gallery walls, were nothing more than a blur. Hot tears clouded her vision, threatening to spill and she had to supress a sob.

Upon reaching the communal hall, she felt relief to find the place empty. Her comrades had yet to arrive.
Taking a flagon of wine, along with a large goblet, she settled herself down on the fur rug in front of the roaring fire.
Cursing Loki under her breath, she proceeded to glug down the wine she'd poured.

It didn't take long for her to drain the goblet, so she refilled it and continued to drink. Before she'd realised it, a half hour had passed and the flagon was almost empty. Blearily, she stood and made her way out into the hallway. She'd grown weary of waiting for her companions and her mood had darkened further. Her head was filled with unwanted images of Loki and Sigyn together. Involuntary thoughts raced around her alcohol-fuelled brain. She could feel her temper rising like a blazing furnace, and could not stop it from taking hold of her.

She turned on her heel and marched, though somewhat unsteadily, in the direction of Loki's chambers.
She was overcome with the need to give the sly one a piece of her mind. Needless to say, if she had been thinking straight then she wouldn't have entertained the idea.
But she wasn't.

As soon as she reached the door she began pounding on it hard with both fists.
"Open the door trickster!"
She bellowed angrily,
"You are a liar, and I was a fool to believe you!"

She heard the sound of the lock being unbolted, so wisely ceased her assault on the door.  It creaked open slightly and Sif was caught off guard completely when Sigyn's face appeared nervously through the gap. Her mind raced, but her wits were dimmed due to the amount of wine she had consumed.
Why was Sigyn here in Loki's chambers?

"He...he isn't here Lady Sif"
She said in a small voice.

Sif glared at her hard,
"Then I will wait for him to return!"
She snapped, forcing the door open and pushing her aside with great ease.

Sigyn tried to protest, but to no avail.
But there was worse to come, much worse. Sif flounced into the room, which she noticed was spinning slightly, but failed to notice him at first until Sigyn called out;
"Sorry Lopt, I tried to stop her but she forced her way inside!"

She followed the petite Goddess' gaze and her own eyes fell on him.
He was lay on the bed, scantily clad in thin cotton trousers and a shirt which was open to the waist, revealing his sculptured chest.
For a moment Sif was speechless, she felt winded. As though she had been punched hard in the chest. She stared at him, trembling slightly, eyes blazing with fury.

Feigning ignorance, he stared back at her askance,
"Was there something you wished to discuss with me, Lady Sif?"
He eventually managed, though his tone was irritatingly calm.

Sif opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She longed to scream at him, to call him a dirty liar for having denied that he was responsible for her current emotional state....but she suddenly felt foolish and ashamed for her infantile behaviour.
Because she knew deep down that the real cause of her fury was due to Sigyn, and Loki's apparent feelings for her.
Not that she would ever admit this to him. Ever.

Hurriedly and ignoring the startled stares of the pair, she turned and fled the room without a word. She stumbled back along the corridor as quickly as her wobbly legs would allow, until all at once she felt a heavy hand clamp down on her shoulder. She let out a startled shriek and spun around, finding herself face to face with her tormenter once again.

"You are a liar!"
She blustered, losing all self control once more,
"You said you weren't capable of magic and now you prove your deceit by being able to catch up with me...shape-shifter!"

She shoved him hard in the chest but he felt real, incredibly real to the touch.

"Enough!"
He yelled, gripping both her arms tightly,
"This is not a projection, and I did not lie to you. I caught up with you easily, your senses deceive you, not I."

Deflated slightly, she looked down and noticed he was still bare footed, this explained why she hadn't heard his foot falls at least.
"I always sense when I'm being followed...especially if I'm being chased!"
She argued stubbornly.

"Perhaps, but it has been known for you to be caught unawares by me before. And besides, you weren't exactly moving at great speed. You are too inebriated to notice a pursuer."
He retorted, finally freeing her from his grasp.

Sif scowled at him,
"I am not inebriated!"

A wry smile crept across his handsome face, and he arched a dark eyebrow.
"And when guilty of being drunk, one always argues to the contrary.."
He folded his arms across his still exposed chest and added,
"..I'm aware of this due to having done it so many times myself."

Sif rolled her eyes, trying to ignore how beautiful he was when he smiled.
"What do you want, Loki?"

He leant idly against the wall and eyed her steadily,
"What do I want?.."
He over-emphasised the words,
"It was you who came to my chambers, seeking me out in a berserker rage!"

She tried to fix her eyes on the middle distance, she could not bring herself to look at him. He was looking so underdressed, so casual..it was alien for her to see him like this. He normally looked so refined and unruffled.

"So, Lady Sif..."
He continued smoothly,
"...I might well ask what it is that you want?"

Her eyes snapped to his, and she felt the familiar quickening of her heartbeat, and prickly hotness flooding her face. What did she want? That was an interesting question indeed.
She had wanted to tear him limb from limb, or at the very least verbally assault him. She was so angry, the fury she felt previously paled in comparison to what she felt after having found Sigyn in his chambers. But in that instance, as she looked at him, the alcohol having numbed her sense of reason, she allowed herself to answer plainly and truthfully..

"You!"
She declared, though still somewhat nervously.

Loki's expression was clouded with confusion, he frowned deeply, emerald eyes narrowing,
"What? What are you saying?...I do not understand-"

"You asked me what I want, I am answering.."
She interrupted, more determinedly now. She stared deep into his eyes, hoping that he would see the truth in hers,
"..It is you that I want Loki...I want you!"

His eyes widened and his mouth actually fell open. She had never witnessed the mischievous one  look so completely dumbfounded.
There was a long, rather awkward pause. She made sure she held her head high in defiance, she wasn't going to back down now. She'd  already crossed a line. No point in trying to retreat when she'd come this far.

He stared back at her agog, for what felt like the longest few moments of her life, then when he eventually spoke, his voice was strained,
"Why...why are you doing this to me?"

"I am speaking the truth Loki."
She replied, feeling braver with each passing minute.
She moved slowly toward him, as though he were a butterfly, a beautiful, fragile thing, that may fly away at any moment if startled.

She heard him swallow hard, his eyes filled with a haunting shade of vulnerability she'd never dared hope to see there.
"Why do you say such things to me? W-why are you mocking me so cruelly?"
He stammered, eyes desperately searching her face. For what she could not tell. Signs that she was lying, or that she was telling the truth? She wasn't sure.

"I say it because you have asked what it is that I want, and I'm answering you truthfully!"
She insisted with more conviction now,
"I'm not mocking you.."

Her final words dissolved into a gasp as he suddenly reached out and grabbed her yet again by her shoulders and held her at arms length, as though surveying her fully,
"I cannot.....do not....believe that it can be true. How can it be? It is not possible that you Sif, you....."
He hesitated, like he dare not say it himself out loud,
"....want me?"
He whispered the words as if they were so delicate they may shatter and then be lost forever.

Sif was nodding now, hoping that her declaration had finally sunk in.
Time seemed to be of the essence, so without any further hesitation, she reached up and clasped his face in her hands, pulling him down towards her.
She could hardly believe her nerve, and she swore she heard warning sirens ringing in her own ears. But she paid no attention to them, and boldly kissed him.

His lips were cold and unmoving, she felt his entire body tense up and he didn't move a muscle. But she persisted, his unresponsiveness was most likely due to shock, but whatever the reason, she wasn't about to give up.
She had been longing to do this, and her sober self would never have dared.

As she continued to kiss him with more conviction, her lips moved from his mouth, planting feathery kisses along his strong jawline and down his slender neck. She heard the breath catch in his throat and couldn't help but smile into his hair with satisfaction. She desperately wanted him to want her back. To ignite a flame within him like he had done with her. Her passion burned for him. She wanted to kiss him all over, and never stop.

As her lips found his again, this time he reacted. His mouth devoured hers, kissing her back frantically. His passion and ferocity both surprised and thrilled her.
Her hands grasped at his shoulders, her fingers sliding under the material and meeting with bare skin beneath his open shirt. He felt utterly divine, and tasted even more so. His stone-like resolve had crumbled, and she could feel his body melting into her, which was proving to be very, very seductive indeed.
He snaked his hands around her waist now, pulling  her to him gently at first,  as though she were a delicate flower he was afraid of crushing. But as they continued to lock lips, his embrace tightened considerably, as his desire heightened. It was as if he were afraid of her slipping from his grasp.

Completely lost in the moment, ears filled with the sounds of their breathless gasps and the thudding of her own heart, she thought she felt him murmur something against her mouth. Then all at once, without warning his kisses ceased and his arms went slack until he no longer held her.
Confused, she studied his face. He looked sullen.
"Loki? What is wrong?"

Averting his eyes from her face, he pulled away from her entirely,
"This.....this is not right Sif. We cannot do this. Not now."

She couldn't quite believe what she was hearing, but his face and voice were determined.
"But.....why not? I don't understand, what is the problem?"

"Oh, you mean other than you being betrothed to my brother, and I to someone else?" He quipped, the sarcasm cutting her like a knife through butter.

Sif shrunk away from him now, no longer eager to convince him that his reservations were of no consequence. His words were sobering and numbed her to the bone.
She had been a complete fool, allowing herself to succumb to the raw, passionate emotions that she'd spent the past few weeks fighting against.
And in her drunken stupor, she'd not even stopped to consider one important detail. Loki had Sigyn now. 
He was clearly very fond of her, she'd seen it with her own eyes and now he was cementing that belief by rejecting her advances, in favour of Sigyn.

She felt the all too familiar feeling of her guts churning, and the humiliation was excruciating.
"Of course. How foolish of me to forget."
She muttered, the hurt and bitterness seeping from her every pore, but doing her best to keep her voice steady.

He turned away from her completely, a gesture that spoke volumes to Sif. He was literally turning his back on her. He clearly didn't want her. He wanted Sigyn. His new Vanaheim princess.
His love.
She swallowed down a sob that threatened to choke her and closed her eyes tightly, refusing to allow her tears to spill.
It didn't work, and as he padded off back down the hallway, they fell silently, staining her cheeks once more.

But this time, it was she who was left watching his retreating back. He was the one walking away...leaving her behind.