Broken - LovelyTheBand

Tasha sighed deeply as she stood on the balcony of their new apartment. They had made enough money to live in a more extravagant place, until they found a way home. The stars were different than Earth or Asgard — the constellations the girl once knew gone and instead replaced by the unknown.

Tasha rested her hand in her jean pockets. Having been used to Midgardian clothing, whenever she began to miss Earth too deeply she would dress as if she never left. The pair she was wearing were old and worn, the same pair she had worn numerous times when she had a rare calm moment with Bucky.

Tasha's fingers brushed against a piece of paper in her pocket. She pulled it out as she leant against the railing, her eyes studying the image closely. It was the one image she had of Bucky. The one physical memory she had to prove it was all real. To prove that he was real. Only a galaxy away.

Tasha hadn't intended to fall in love with anyone after Loki, let alone a human... let alone the Winter Soldier. Falling in love with James Buchanan Barnes was like drinking poison with the antidote in your free hand. It was everything her love with Loki wasn't. It was its own beautiful masterpiece. Even if it was doomed from the beginning.

Tasha's thoughts were interrupted when she heard Loki's soft footsteps approaching her location. She shoved the photograph back into her pocket, her heart sinking as she felt Loki's cold presence close his way to her. He leaned his arms on the railing next to hers, glancing at her pale face.

"What happened to him?" Loki asked suddenly as he looked at her.

"Hmm?"

"The man you fell in love with. Clearly something happened or you wouldn't have been so miserable looking at his photo."

Tasha sighed. "It's a long story."

"We've got time."

Another sigh left her lips as she stepped towards him, holding her hand out to him. "It will be easier if I show you."

Loki didn't hesitate as he held her hand in his tightly, his green eyes gazing into hers.

**

Tasha sighed as she tried to push Steve's hand from her face. "I told you, I'm fine —"

"Tony hit you pretty hard." Steve replied shaking his head as he pressed the damp medical gauze to her wound. "I knew I shouldn't have involved you."

"Involved me? I was involved the second Bucky saved me." She replied as she gently grabbed Steve's hand. "I'm alright. Just... let me see him? Please?"

Steve had refused to speak about Bucky, stating that he was fine but wouldn't say another word. "Steve, I know you're keeping something from me... what is it?"

"Tasha... We both know as long as Bucky can't fight that saying, Hydra will want him."

"Steve..."

"I don't want him to, but he's made up his mind. He's going to be put under until Shuri and T'chala can fix his mind."

There was cold silence as Tasha took in his words. She had tears in her eyes which she pushed side as she sniffled. "Take me to him."

...

Tasha stood with a solemn expression as she watched James Barnes walk off the medical bed before trailing over to her. Steve, and T'Chala had left to give them a moment of privacy.

"Tash—"

"You don't need to do this." Tasha pleaded as she looked up at him finally. "Maybe — maybe I can stop it from happening again, maybe—"

James wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her body tight against his. "Hey, shh, I'll be okay—"

"I won't be!" Tasha replied as she pushed her palms against his chest. "Please, James. I can't lose you."

His eyes held a deep emotion that made Tasha's heart race as he smiled lovingly at her. "You could never lose me, doll. They're going to figure out how to fix this, and when they do I'll find you. I'll always find you."

She smiled slightly, leaning her forehead against his. "I love you... you know that right?"

James grinned at her, "I love you, so much." He pressed his lips firmly to hers, and for a moment the couple felt like the only two beings in the entire universe.

"I don't want you to leave me." Tasha said quietly with tears in her eyes.

"C'mon, doll, I could never leave you. I'm always gonna be with you, okay? No matter what happens... I want you to be happy alright? Don't you dare spend your life waiting for me."

"No. You swore you'd be with me—"

"When I'm fixed up, we're going to get married. We're going to have a family. But I don't want you to wait. I need you to live your life to the fullest while I'm gone. Fall in love."

"Bucky—"

"Tasha, I need to know that no matter what happens you'll be happy, even if it's without me."

"James—"

"Promise me you'll let yourself be happy. Please, Tash."

There was silence for a moment as Tasha stared at her lover. Reluctantly, she sighed before giving him a small nod.

"I promise."

....

"You... you do love him." Loki said in recognition, the emotion on his face impossible to decipher as he pulled away from Tasha. Loki knew she had cared for the man deeply, but to see her love another was awfully unsettling, not to mention painful in a way he couldn't even begin to describe.

Tasha's first instinct was to comfort him, say something to make him feel better, but she fought that urge and instead spoke plainly.

"Yes. I love him. Did you expect otherwise?"

"I'm not sure, honestly." Loki replied in a blank way, trying to fight off the numbing pain in his heart.

"It isn't how I loved you, if that's what you're wondering. I don't think I could ever love anyone the way I loved you — but yes, I love him. It may be different but it's still true... I was happy with the idea of actually living life and I was stupid enough to think we could have an actual future together but as you saw nothing worked out the way anyone wanted it to."

"It still could." He replied numbly, his green eyes dark and sulking.

"We're stuck on Sakaar, and he's in limbo until his brain can be fixed..." She shook her head with a sad breath. "Besides, we are Gods. We live much longer than humans — their entire life span is a fleeting moment for us."

Loki was quiet for a moment as he processed her words. "You went into a relationship with him knowing he would grow old and die much before you... why?"

"Why did you fake your death and keep the truth hidden from me?" She shrugged. "Love makes us do stupid things."

There was a cold silence as Loki tried to forget the memories of Tasha looking at Bucky in the way she once looked at him.

"Does he make you happy?"

Slowly, Tasha looked up at him. She frowned when she saw how broken Loki looked, resembling that same broken man she tried to fix over six years ago.

"Yes." Tasha replied honestly. "After you died I didn't think it would be possible for anyone to make me happy, but he did so without even trying..."

"I... I'm glad."

"No you're not." Tasha scoffed.

"I am." Loki replied honestly. "Do you think I didn't want you to be happy? That's why I had to let you go. I knew there would be no future for you with me, whereas you could perhaps find a good future with someone more..."

"I was happy. But that didn't stop me from needing you. Don't you get that? No matter what, my soul longs to be near you." She shook her head with a deep sigh. "I loved you with everything I was... and time after time I tried to fix you because I refused to believe you were a lost cause... but I think too, I didn't want to be alone... I like that you're broken, broken like me, maybe that makes me a fool."

"Pardon?"

"It's a popular song on earth. It makes me think of him, and you."

Loki was silent for a moment. "Do you know many Midgardian songs?"

She nodded her head. "I fell in love with music during my stay on earth. Why do you ask?"

"Would you sing for me?"

A smile came to Tasha's face as she grabbed onto Loki's hand. "I'll do you one better." She tugged him into their living room, pushing him onto the couch where he sat patiently as Tasha rummaged through her bag.

"When we got here and I was able to use my magic to bring some things from Midgard with me, one of those things was this." She held out her cell phone to him, and he took it gingerly as he examined it.

"And this is...?"

"A cell phone. iPhone Xs to be exact, with some extra upgrades courtesy of Tony Stark." She smirked as she took it back, using her magic to hook it up to the speakers she was able to magic herself.

"And what does that thing do?"

"Well, you can talk to other people with it. Like a radio or com system, but worldwide. Sadly, doesn't work for that when you're an entire galaxy away, so instead it can be used for listening to music that's already been downloaded by moi."

"And how is this better than you singing?"

"Because I'll sing with the soundtrack, doofus. You'll get to hear how it's meant to sound annnnnd I just really want to listen to music. I haven't had the time since we got here."

Loki nodded, listening as the song begun to play. When the vocals started, Tasha joined in, never missing a line as she sat on the couch, her body jittering as she allowed herself to get into the song. He smiled as he saw how happy this was making her. While he wasn't sure how he felt about Midgard, he enjoyed her happiness due to their creations.

"When I thought you were dead, music is one of the things that kept me going. I found myself able to relate my situation within these songs, and it became an escape — a way to push out my feelings in a less harmful way." Tasha explained as she began to skip through songs once the initial was finished.

Tasha stopped on a song for a moment, the smile leaving her face as the first note played before quickly changing it to the next. Loki could tell she was somewhere else by the way she stared at the phone as the new song continued to play.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Tasha replied with a sigh. "I just — that was our song."

"Your human mate and yourself?"

"Yeah. I haven't listened to it since — well, since before he was put to sleep..." She shook her head. "As fun as this was, I'm gonna hit the hay."

"Hit the hay?" Loki asked as Tasha stood up, quirking his eyebrows.

"I'm gonna go sleep." She said with a smile as she walked by him, rubbing her hand against his arm subconsciously before closing the bedroom door.

As hard as she tried, Tasha could not find an ounce of sleep as she tossed and turned on the mattress. Her mind kept drifting to Bucky and how much she missed his presence. After three hours of sleeplessness, she decided to get out of bed. She raised her eyebrows when she noticed Loki wasn't in the living room.

Tasha sighed as she stepped out onto the balcony where Loki was standing. "Can't sleep?" She asked as she walked over to him.

"No. You?"

She shook her head as she looked up at the foreign stars. "Nope. I can't remember the last time I slept more than an hour or two."

"Since Bucky was put under?" Loki inquired, earning another nod from her.

"Yeah. I just see things I don't want to see. So many possibilities that will never happen." She shrugged.

"I can give you good dreams, if you'd like."

"I didn't say they weren't good." She pushed her shoulder against his playfully. "No, I'm okay. Thanks though."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"Would I like to talk about the never ending dreams I have of us? No, not really." She shrugged again before taking a deep breath of cold air. "I hate the air here. Midgard was alright but Asgard always has had the clearest, coolest air. Absolutely breathtaking. This is just smog and is disgusting."

Loki smiled slightly, a small chuckle leaving his lips. "I remember how often I would find you sneaking off to the forest. Do you have any idea how many times I told father it was my doing?"

Tasha smiled at the memory. "In my defence I never asked you to take the blame." She giggled. "I remember one time you and I had gotten into a row and Thor was the one to tell us to get over it. I believe you and I both got into a fight with him."

"And I believe we won." Loki smiled at her. 

"Of course we did. You and I were the best when we were together." Her smile faded slightly as she looked down at the lighted city. Talking with Loki was so easy, it was like everything else hadn't happened.

"I'm sorry."

"Hmm?" Tasha asked as she looked over at him. Loki was staring down at her, his green eyes searching hers. "Why are you staring at me?"

"You're beautiful." He said quietly as he brushed his fingers along her jawbone before pushing her hair from her face.

"Thanks..." She smiled as she reached her hand up, twirling his long, black locks through her fingers. "You need a haircut, Lok."

"You haven't called me that in ages." He chuckled. "I thought you liked my appearance."

"Oh, I do. Your hair is pretty sexy on you." She winked playfully before staring back at his hair, trying to ignore the warmth coming to her face from his soft gaze.

"I'm pretty sure you're the sexy one, dove." Loki replied smoothly as he caressed her face, smiling more when he felt how warm her cheeks were, knowing well it was due to him.

"Pssh, okaaay." Tasha rolled her eyes but grabbed onto his hand, pulling it until he had his arm wrapped around her waist entirely. Loki hesitated for a moment before wrapping his other arm around her waist, holding her body close to his as they looked up at the night sky.

For the first time in forever, Tasha felt at peace.

If only that could last.

...

A/N: HEY! Welcome back! Please comment any and all ideas you have for Tasha x Loki!!! I need all the help 😭😭😭😭😭 please any ideas for past, future or present storylines are needed! :)