Summary: What if Cassandra got thrown into Middle Earth and met the dwarf company? (A Sweetest Rose and A Treasure Beyond Compare Cross Over.)

The ground swallowed Cassandra whole and spit her back out onto the hard packed ground. Groaning, she pushed to her knees. What the hell?

Disoriented, Cassandra rose to her feet and took in her new surroundings. She stood on a rugged cliff overlooking a forest of pines that stretched to a jagged mountain range. Tilting her head back she gazed up, the stars bright and clear. Much clearer than she was used to.

Wherever she landed, it was somewhere remote. She walked further toward the edge, to drink in the view. The sprawling vista was absolutely breathtaking.

"Witch!" A voice hissed from the shadows, jolting her back to reality.

Cassandra spun around, every muscle in her body tense. A short ugly man burst from a cluster of bushes followed by several more, all armed with axes and swords. They circled her quickly in a ring of weapons and armor.

"Witch! Tell us where is our companion, the Lady Adelaide?" The tallest man with crystal blue eyes demanded, leveling a sword at her.

Cassandra did a double-take because he looked eerily like Jon Snow. He appeared to be the leader of the group, his fur trimmed surcoat made of intricately tooled leather. Gold cuffs were interspersed in his black hair.

Folding her arms across her chest, Cassandra gazed at the ring of men surrounding her. Yep. Definitely miscalculated that transportation spell to Antonio's, the best Italian restaurant in New York. Loki would never let her hear the end of this.

Now, she was late for their date.

Please to find no smudges, Cassandra smoothed the folds of her violet dress, the silk swishing lightly around her knees. It gave her a minute to think about how to handle the situation.

Given her remote location, Cassandra didn't believe the men were cosplayers. She must have teleported off world. Her excitement for her date had overpowered everything else. She must not have fixed on the location for the spell in her mind clearly enough.

"Well?" Mr. Stabby demanded imperiously.

It wasn't the end of the world. She still had her sling ring and could teleport out of here. "I have no idea who Adelaide is or where she might be." Cassandra answered leisurely which only seemed to anger Mr. Stabby further. His broad cheeks flushed bright red.

She dropped into a mocking curtsy. "My name is Cassandra Pierce. I'm a sorcerer, not a witch."

The most handsome of the bunch, bowed low. "Kili, at your service." With a confident smile he winked at her.

Cassandra arched her brows. At least not all of them wanted to skewer her. She favored him with a tentative smile. "Nice to meet you, Kili."

"What's the difference between a witch and a sorcerer, lassie?" A red-haired man with a long-braided beard asked suspiciously, still focused on her being a magic-user.

Thinking of Morgan le Fey, her lips curled wryly. "Well, the witch I know is trying to take over the world. I'm trying to save it. Draw your own conclusions."

A summer breeze blew the stench of unwashed bodies into her face. Cassandra gagged. God, she really needed to get out of here. Wherever here was. "Mind telling me where the hell I landed?"

The men gasped collectively at her use of language.

Seriously? They were going to make an issue of her swearing? "Just answer the question." Cassandra sighed heavily when they continued to gawk at her. 

"You are in Middle Earth, sorcerer." Mr. Stabby spat, pale eyes flashing. "I cannot help but notice you did not answer my question." The tip of the sword brushed against Cassandra's waist in warning.

"Thorin." A white-haired man gripped Mr. Stabby's shoulder. "Don't."

"Balin, do not interfere." Mr. Stabby ordered.

"Holy shit!" She shrieked, staggering back. "No fucking way! How in the hell is this possible?"

Middle Earth?! Like Lord of the Rings, Middle Earth?! She perked up and searched the clearing for a handsome elf princeling.

Legolas was nowhere to be seen. Typical.

Cassandra tilted her head to the side, looking at the men with rapt interest. They had to be dwarves. Well, they were nothing like she expected. Definitely grungier than she imagined. Not to mention the smell.

Well, living in a medieval world the dwarves possessed only rudimentary knowledge of hygiene. It was to be expected. She shouldn't judge them too harshly for it. 

Kili smiled at her. Well, stinky or not at least one of them was handsome.

Mr. Stabby tapped her abdomen again with his sword and the tip sliced through the delicate silk of her gown, exposing a glimpse of her stomach. "Answer me, foul-mouthed wench!"

Cassandra narrowed her eyes, anger bubbling hot in her middle like lava. The asshole just ruined her dress!

Mr. Stabby was about to become Dwarf Sushi if he didn't knock it off. Master Li would urge her to use this as an opportunity to test her skills. Master Wong would insist on caution. Loki would cast some horrible amusing spell on them for being insolent.

Unlike her boyfriend, Cassandra wasn't as malicious. She was less concerned with proving her fighting prowess then getting back home in one piece.

A slow wicked smile curved her lips as a great idea took hold. She summoned up her power.

Cassandra turned Mr. Stabby's sword into a giant pink dildo. Her fingers glowed gold and all the dwarves' weapons turned into a wide range of ridiculous objects.

Mr. Stabby's toy went limp as he flopped it at her. "What devilry is this?" He hissed.

"No worries, quite a few men have performance issues. Comes with age and a lack of vigor." Cassandra said breezily.

Mr. Stabby's face twisted in confusion.

Of course, they didn't understand the reference. What a tough crowd.

Kili examined his vibrator with an amazed expression. His thumb pressed the button and it vibrated in his hands.

A bald surly looking dwarf now clutched a pair of blowup dolls with giant inflatable breasts instead of axes.

Cassandra snickered at the dwarves' flummoxed expressions. Not the most mature thing to do, but it was actually kind of fun. Maybe Loki was on to something with his pranks. "At least now you can't harm me."

A few seconds later a ring of fire formed in the air and Loki stepped through the portal. "There you are." His black pinstriped suit hugged his lean frame deliciously. "You're lucky I was able to trace your magic."

Everything faded away except for Loki. The dwarves, her surroundings, the stars in the sky. Cassandra only had eyes for him. "I screwed up the transportation spell."

"I'm aware." Loki scanned her from head to toe and frowned when he saw the tear in her dress. He closed the distance separating them swiftly, pulling her close. "Are you alright? You aren't hurt?" A thread of worry crept into his voice.

"I'm not hurt." Cassandra's heart fluttered, touched by his concern. She reached up and brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes, fingertips gliding down his cheek. "I'm just glad you're here."

"You do know how to make me worry, my darling." Loki conjured a purple orchid from midair and tucked the flower into her upswept hair. "Beautiful."

Cassandra smoothed the lapels of his suit jacket. "My handsome prince. Have you come to sweep me away to our happily ever after?"

Loki grinned at her cheesy joke. "I plan to sweep you a way to a romantic dinner." He scooped her up into his arms. "And after..." He trailed off suggestively and Cassandra shivered in delight.

She slid her arms behind his neck and pressed her lips softly against his, a soft brief kiss.

Loki's blue eyes glowed. "Or we might not make it to that dinner after all." He turned toward the open portal. He missed a step when he saw what the dwarves were holding onto. His gaze darted around the circle, lighting up with amusement when they landed on her again. "Ah, little vixen, you never cease to amaze me." The corners of his mouth twitched. "I'll have to remember this trick."

"Forget about tricks. What I need now, is some loving."

Loki swallowed hard as she pressed her cheek against his and inhaled his cool minty scent. "I think I'm up to the task." He breathed unsteadily. "First, let's find a bed."

She peered up at him coyly. "Hmm...I was thinking lying in front of the fireplace could be romantic."

"I can work with that." He murmured and took them home.

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Adelaide entered camp, drying her hair with a towel. Bilbo walked alongside her. She had gone off for a bath since this was the first time the company had stopped somewhere decent in a few days.

Bilbo had stood guard while she cleaned up in the lake.

All the dwarves sat around the fire sulking. Thorin stared moodily at-

Adelaide stared at what he held in his hand. Was that a dildo? "What's going on?"

At the sound of her voice the dwarves jumped and the company leader shot to his feet, striding over to her. "Lady Adelaide! Are you unharmed?"

At the concerned expression on Thorin's face, Adelaide softened. "I'm just fine. I went off to bathe. If I made you worry, I apologize."

"You should not go off alone." He said gruffly.

"I didn't. Bilbo went with me. I told Kili where I was going." Adelaide scowled at the young dwarf.

Kili grinned sheepishly. "I forgot."

A/N: This was the result of a musing I had about what would happen if Cassandra and the dwarf company met. I hope you enjoyed it. For those of you who don't know Adelaide is my OC in my Hobbit Fic A Treasure Beyond Compare.

Hobbit © J.R.R. Tolkien, WB, MGM

Marvel © Disney