Ananya's POV

I hurt him. I don't know what got into me for me to have reacted that way. Couldn't I have handled it better?
I tried to call Alex but he was not answering my calls.
I called his office but he wasn't there. I checked with Mom and Dad but even they were unaware of his whereabouts.

I was calling him but I didn't know what I would say to him if he picked up the phone. How unfair I have been to him. He trusted me after everything and I didn't.
He has been nothing but a good friend to me.

Just to show my regret about the incident  and make it up to him I cooked his favourite dishes. The pineapple cake he loved so much, garlic grilled chicken, double cheese lasagna.
But he didn't show up for dinner either.
It was all too sad for me to eat the dinner I cooked for him, alone.
Maria had beautifully set the dining table in the lawn for us. But when she realised that Alex was not coming and it was getting late for my medicines, she insisted on me having my dinner without him.

When I refused and decided to wait more she called Mom out of concern.
"Ananya, why are you not eating darling? He must be stuck in some meeting. Please eat on time dear. Your babies are hungry too. Don't make them wait like this."
She called and advised me. Everything made sense. But still I didn't want to eat the food I cooked for him.
So Maria quickly put together some pasta for me, along with fruit custard.
I had my dinner and took my medicines.

I waited for Alex thinking he would atleast keep the promise he made to my babies that he would read a new story to then everynight. But neither did he come nor did he return any of my calls. I finally sent a sorry message to him around midnight and fell asleep soon after.

I must have just fallen asleep when I heard some noise in the room. The air in the room reeked of alcohol. It scared me. The last time I was alone in a room with a drunk man he violated my dignity.
The fear of that night gripped me. I was scared to even open my eyes.
Alex came home drunk. That was so unlike him.
Suddenly I felt a sudden jolt on the bed. My heart thumped in my chest as he jumped on the bed.
I wanted to run away from there acting on my fears but then the most unexpected thing happened.

"Ssshh.. Hello babies! I am here. But don't tell your mommy that I am back. She is angry on me."
Alex started talking to my belly but not like he did ever before. Earlier he used to read stories to the babies but tonight he was talking to them like real people. My fear vanished and tears of joy started flowing.

"Sorry babies I came home late. But I was very upset today. Your mommy never really trusted me. I felt very alone so I went to a bar. Then I got drunk."
Alex's spoke in an inebriated state. I found it amusing. I was smiling listening him blabber like this. But I controlled myself to hear what he had to say.

" While sitting at the bar I saw the time and all I could think about was you. Your mommy and I can fight as much as we want but for us you would always be on top."
He took occasional pauses. And it made me think that he passed out. But when I opened my eyes I could see him trying to control his urge to touch my belly.
He kept his head near my belly so he could talk. But maintained a distance to avoid waking me up.
"You know kiddos, who loves you the most in this world? Ahh. I knew you would say Mommy. But No. You are wrong. I love you the most in this world."

"Hope you are not surprised with this revelation. Tell me, who reads you bed time stories? Daddy right? So who loves you the most? I promise you that I would love you more than anybody else can ever love you."

"But I need to apologise to you kiddos. Ask me why. Because I may be the one person who would love you the most but I love someone else more than you. And no matter what I do I can't change that. I love your mommy the most. When will your mother realise that!"

"I love her. She is my wife. But still I crave for that one kiss from her. I hope to kiss her one day. With her permission ofcourse. I tried doing it on my own once and she gave me a tight slap."
This part of his conversation made me sad. The feeling of guilt was back. I have wronged Alex. And not just once. But most of the times.

"But I love her. She is my life. My dear wife. Sshhh.. Don't talk loudly children. Mommy will wake up. Sleep now. Good night. "

He finally got the courage to keep his hand on my belly. I didn't hear from him again that night. He fell asleep and in sometime I did too.
But his words kept ringing in my ears.
He loved me so much.

I slept peacefully for the rest of the night. Knowing that Alex was back home, safe.
When I woke up, I didn't find Alex sleeping next to me. He was gone. I ran out of the room and checked with Maria.

"Maria, have you seen Alex?"

"Ma'am, he left early in the morning. He instructed me to let you sleep."

"Ok. Did he leave any message for me?"

"No ma'am."
I took a deep breath.
He was avoiding me. I hurt him pretty bad.
I went to my bedroom and just lay in it for sometime.
I wanted to speak to someone. Maa, why did you leave me alone.

I had nowhere to go and no one t talk to. Alex is my only friend and I could never get Mom and Dad involved in this storm that was creating havoc in our lives.

I got fresh, had my breakfast and medicines.
I told Maria to pack me a sandwich for lunch. She prepped an entire linch basket for me with juice packets and sandwiches and fruits.
She had been taking really good care of me. She was like Mom's eyes and ears in our home to ensure I am taking care of myself and babies.
I smiled at her. She knew something was wrong, I could tell. But she never interfered outside her assigned job.
That was one thing I really liked about her.

I went and spoke to the driver.
"The cemetery please."
I decided not to call Alex. I didn't wish to speak to anyone.
The questions in my head needed answers. And I needed to do it on my own.

"Thank you. I will get down here." I got out and asked him to leave.

"No ma'am. I have been instructed to never leave you alone. If you want I can wait at a distance."
Never leave me alone! But the person who instructed you, did leave me alone today.
"No. Its alright. I just didn't want you to wait here for long. I don't know how long I plan on being here."
"That's no problem Ma'am."

I bought flowers for Maa. Her favourite yellows.
Remembering her always brought back that one memory that I had of her back from the hospital, when I was being taken to the hospital after that gruesome attack on me and Raj. Its a faint memory but her voice still echoed in my ears.

I went to her grave and placed the flowers near her tombstone.
And sat there with my back resting on her grave.
Slowly slowly the warmth of my tears covered my cheeks.
"I miss you Maa. I so want to hug you right now and lay my head in your lap. I needed your advice. I needed you to tell me what my heart wants. You were so good at that Maa."
I closed my eyes and wiped my tears.

"Don't cry my dear."
A male voice startled me and I almost jumped.

"My God! You scared me."
I tried to get up as an elderly man walked towards me.

"No. Sit my dear. Your mother?"
I nodded in a yes. He stroked my head and moved towards the grave next to Maa's. He put white lillies near the tombstone and placed a kiss on it.
As if he saw the look on my face, he cleared the air on his own.
" That's my wife resting here. I come visit her daily.
You know, after spending almost 45 years together we kinda get used to a person. And when that person leaves, the old habits still remain. You want to see them daily."
He sat down facing towards me, with his back resting on his wife's grave. I was amazed to know they were married for 45 years.

"You seem upset darling."
I didn't know him. But somehow it was easy for me to talk to him. Words just flowed out.
"I guess. I am confused about my life, about what I want. And I am hurting a lot of people while they are only trying to help me."

"Oh! Thats too much to handle at your age. Can I be of some help to you? I guess you came here to talk to your Mother for advice. Consider me to be the medium between you and her. Trust me real life experiences help a lot at times."

I didn't really understand why but I opened up to him about everything that happened with me since day one of my life here in the States.

"You have had a roller coaster of a life beautiful lady. Who would have thought? But what has happened in the past will never be in your control. Your future on the other hand is in your hands. Mould it qthe wayq you want. Don't hold back. I can tell you that He loves you a lot. Your husband. Give this marriage a real chance. Something very beautiful might come out of it."
I had nothing to say. I got everything I wanted to hear.
"Hungry?  I don't mind a little company."

He was all smiles. I set our plates.
"Its been ages that I have had company at a meal. Only the heart knows what it has lost when it loses its partner."

I knew what he meant. And I knew what my heart had been wanting for so long. Whatever it ever wanted was right in front of me. One wrong step just made me close my eyes to the beauty of love.

But my eyes are open now.
Meeting this man was no coincidence. I smiled the biggest smile at him and his smile in return was even bigger.