All I can remember of my early life...without DICE...was being lonely. I think my parents were nice, yeah my dad was a ringmaster in a circus! I wanted to be just like him. That circus was so vibrant and filled with life and all I ever wanted to do was to stay in it forever, having endless fun all day long as we traveled around the world. I loved my parents. My Dad.

Even though he never really wanted to have me...or spent any time with me.

Seeing all the acts and places he always talked about, it sounded amazing. The dreams my mom always mumbled about, how one day I could become a part of the acts too! That one day...when I earned money for Papa...he would love me. Until then...I would just have to be alone...and patient. That was my dream...

Until it, all burned away. I don't remember much of the fire. A fire that started by accident, that could've been so easily avoidable...the one that burned down all my dreams, that left my back with a horrible scar from the burns...

How anyone in that tiny circus tent burned with it. How I just ran when the eventual firefighters arrived when they mumbled a language I barely understood. Guess that's the curse of being a proud English woman once upon a time.

I just remember waking up on someone's back as they carried me, I kept blacking out that day...but when I saw my hero my first thought was that he looked like a grape.

Then he was like the brother that I never had.

The person who dragged me out of the ashes where my parents lost their lives, and since I never had met any other family I joined DICE. Back then it was just the six of us before we met more as we grew older.

I remember though...his smile, he was always smiling and laughing. That he made up so many games and the days never seemed to really be filled with despair despite the fact we were all broken. How he seemed to guide us out of the darkness, how he lied. Like how sometimes he would say he wasn't hungry but all night long I could hear his stomach growling...and once I shoved some bread into his mouth.

All the happy days with him. With everyone. That's what I want to remember about my childhood. Not the struggles of us starving on the streets for a year till we were finally caught and taken to an orphanage.

Or how cruel fate was...or how I couldn't even remember my name for a while after that fire..and even then when I did I never changed it from what Kichi gave me. That girl died in the fire, and then...

The murderer was born. I became the evil thing Kokichi despised. I killed. It at first wasn't supposed to be like that, Genkei was really really sick at the time. We needed money- and fast. We had so many debts, all of us were desperately trying to earn money. So...I took the dirty jobs no one should've had to take. It worked the more sexual ones for a while, then we just kept sinking further into that hole.

We were just sixteen. We didn't have parents and lived in abandoned apartments living off top ramen from convenient stores. So...I made a decision. I decided to take orders to plunge the knife or shoot the gun into the people who resembled just like me. But unlike me, they didn't have the chance to make a happy ending. I took it from them.

I lied to Nao that I was working at a restaurant. A cheap excuse for the surplus of income. Because if I had told Kokichi he would've known. It was hard at first...those first nights all I ever did was lock myself into the bathroom and sob my eyes out. I still do that sometimes. But I did it until I suppressed my sadness and despair in front of them and held back my tears till I was all alone.

I should've known one-day karma would come for me...but still. I was hoping maybe it would understand what I did everything for. I guess in the end though when Kokichi started the phantom thiefs it was the real end. When he once again fell in love with a navy haired detective, so intoxicated in that love that he slowly died from that kind of love.

How everyone figured out the truth of what I did. How now we are reaching the end of that happy childhood we always cherished with that lavender haired detective huntings us down. Too bad, she doesn't realize she is in a special little show of my creation.

One that ends with me winning. No matter what the consequences are.

I finally became the final act my dad always hyped up at the end of the show. So I guess I'll have go steal some of Kokichi's legacy to pull off my final trick...I hope...I pray...for a happy ending...

♤~♡~◇~♧

"Look how tired he is..." I mumbled. Kokichi was sleeping on the worn-out couch, with some blankets on him. He looked exhausted and occasionally he would cough violently up roses. He closely resembled death as Takashiro fussed over him trying to somehow soothe him.

"Do you think Saihara will get here in time?" I asked. Riko gave a sad smile, "Of course he will, Saihara cares about Kokichi to...he won't...he won't let him..." Riko wiped her eyes unable to say the possible ending for our leader.

That weighed heavily as I stared at my suffering friend. All because of love...would I do that Kazue? Would I be able to hold on for that long? I glanced at the light-haired soulmate, he still didn't accept this plan. But we both knew this ending was the only one for us. Please...please just look at me in the eye one last time...

"If Kokichi knew what you were doing..." Riko mentioned but I only grinned as she snipped away at my hair. I was going to miss it being long, "I mean, I think he would punish us for all eternity." She joked.

"If he knew he would probably kill me" I laughed. Riko hesitated and I turned around to see her for once teary-eyed, "awe Ri don't cry, it's going to be ok!" I assured. It was weird seeing Riko crying like this, she was always smiling. No matter what happened there she would be humming a nice tune and now her eyes were puffy and red-stained.

"But...I'm losing everything today, how can it be fine?" Riko asked seriously for once. I looked down at the makeshift blanket we used as a cover for my clothing. I took a deep breath.

"Yeah I guess today isn't going to be a happy one, huh, but c'mon Riko, please smile for me a bit longer?" I begged, "think about this, we're doing this for everyone! All of us will always be together so it will be fine!" I tried to convince her as I saw Riko wipe away her tears from the mirror. She nodded slowly as she continued snipping away at my hair.

"Think about it though Riko! We're going to be aunties!" I squealed, Riko laughed "do you think we'll get to see their kids?" She asked. I shrugged "I'm sure one day, imagine if one day all of us get our kids together and we have DICE 2 or something!" I proposed.

Riko didn't look at me when I said that, "heh... or at least you guys can, I bet any kids Kokichi has will be a troublemaker just like their dad!" I told her.

"But Saihara would also be their dad" Riko brought up, "oh yeah huh, imagine a prankster detective! Won't that be so adorable!" I squealed as Riko grabbed the hair dye. She gave me again that same sad smile.

"Aww, Riko you're really sad huh? Sorry" I apologized "it's just...will I ever even see you again? Or Kokichi...or Miri...I was supposed to do her hair next week...I didn't even tell her what we were going to do today" she choked up.

"Probably not" I admitted, looking at my red locks for the last time in a while, "maybe when we're reincaranted we can all meet again?" I said cheerfully, "I'm sure though it will end up alright"

"Reincarnation?" Riko asked. I nodded, "yeah, I mean life wasn't fair to us right now, so it has to...it has to make things better right...?" I asked not being able to hold in my tears.

"You don't have to do this" Riko gently reminded. I shook my head, "no, she'll never stop looking for him...and he deserves a happy ending doesn't he?" I asked.

"You know I'm the only one in DICE who can do this, no one else could pull it off" I cheered.

Riko dropped the supplies she was using and covered her mouth. I quickly turned over and hugged her tightly, "hey Riko, come on...we knew this was going to happen one day" I gently reminded.

"They're going to lock you up though! We won't be able to come save you! Aren't you angry? Aren't you sad? Come on! I... Chi, you're practically my sister come on! Stop being brave for once and be honest!" Riko pleaded.

I rubbed my eyes choking up a bit, "heh...I am scared...but...I'm ok with it being like this, just visit me sometimes ok?" I asked. She nodded as she reached down for the tools.

"Besides...we both know I won't hold up for long..." I reminded. She didn't answer as she kept dying my hair.

"What about Kazue?" Riko asked as I glanced over at my lover pacing around the room waiting patiently. I sighed, "well he knows the plan, still hates it...but for me, I hope he goes through with it," I said.

"And what if things don't go to plan?" Riko asked. I paused for a while, "then he knows I love him more than anyone else in the world"

I took a long look and took a deep breath. The plan was about to start, and hopefully...it would end just as we had planned. Hopefully it won't be lonely rotting away for the rest of my life. Leaving any chance for my future behind.

It's my fault anyway.