Denied Feelings

I felt hunger while walking and luckily my friend's store is near so I went there and bought my snack. I stayed there for almost half an hour. Well, there are reserve tables for costumers. We talked a lot of things. Until, he brought up a name.

“Is Acer still your crush?” I was shocked when he asked that. I don't know what to tell him. I'm not even sure if it is still him.

I took a deep sigh and speak, “Why of a sudden you brought up that topic?”

He looked at me straightly in the eyes. “Just tell me if you still have a crush on him.”

I looked away and sighed again. “Hmm. Yes? But... I think he can never  be mine or either like me back. Or maybe no for there is another guy?”

He sighed as he lean on his chair. “Are you in love?” he asked. In love? How is that?

“Maybe yes? But... I really can't have that man I'm falling for,” I sadly said.

“It's been 3 years and more since the day you've seen him, right? You're not even seeing each other nor talked a lot yet you still like him? No, you love him already,” he said as he rested his hands on the table. I love him? Maybe yes but I don't care that much about him anymore.

I looked at him. “You know a lot about him, right? Why don't you tell me details about him? It might changed my feelings for him,” I seriously said. Well, I'm starting not to talk about Acer already. I keep denying him for the past days, months and years of my life. This is the first time that I'll be honest about him. My friend, Vince, always include him everytime we have a chance to talk but I keep changing the topic. Maybe this is the time to know more about him? All I know is his name, I'm not even sure about his age and birthday. I also knew that he is a batchmate of Vince and that he plays basketball and chess. I want to know more, like about his relationships.

Vince smiled a little. “Finally, you want us to talk about him. Ready yourself.”

I smiled saying that I'm always ready.

“Well, he li—” he paused when his phone rang. He answered his best friend's call named Arthur.

“Great thing you answered my call this time.” He even turned the speaker on so I can hear what they're going to talk about. My heart beats fast.

“Well, I need some information this time.” Vince chuckled.

“What is it? About?”

Vince smirked and looked at me. I become more nervous this time.

“I and Kristi are talking about your brother. Well, I'm teasing her about your brother.” Vince seems teasing his friend with the way he spoke.

I heard Arthur hemmed. “Acer is courting someone right now.” I swallowed slowly upon hearing those words.

“Does he need help? I and Kristi could help him.” Vince smirked at me. I gave him an irritated look. He laughed with no sound.

I heard Arthur chuckled for a bit. “Seriously? Are you kidding bro? Well, Acer can handle his self. I feel sorry for Kristi. She doesn't deserve my brother anyway.” I don't know what to think and feel right now.

“Yeah. Maybe bro. So now who do you think is the man who deserves to be Kristi's lover.” I looked at him shocked and give him a what-are-you-talking-about? look.

“You already know the answer to that bro.”

Vince smirked. “Well, of course I do. I just thought you would tell again.” Vince chuckled.

“Come on bro. I'm not ready. By the way, I'll arrived there within 10 minutes.” After that he hanged up.

“He have no respect on me. He hanged up without saying goodbye,” he said clenching his hands.

I laughed a little and speak, “Whatever, now tell me more about Acer.”

He sighed and smirked. “He told us he like you before but he then have a relationship with Anna, you know her right?” I nodded. He continued, “But they didn't last long. Well, after that he tried courting other girls. He even planned to court you but he backed out for he found out that— I shouldn't tell you.” What?! I'm confused. I looked at him with a disappointed face.

“The reason he backed out aside from what I'm about to tell you is that, you seems not ready in relationship and that you keep on denying about your feelings towards him. You and him are not having much communications too and that you haven't talked long in person well, even in chats.” I feel something heavy inside. So that was Acer's reasons? But what was the other one. Well, I get it now.

We stayed silent for I don't know how many minutes. I don't know what to say this time. Feels like I have my first heartbreak.

“Hey! Bro. What's up? Miss me?” We looked to the one who spoke. It's Arthur. I turn my gaze back to the table. I can feel that he is going near us and then he sat beside Vince.

“Look up Kristi,” Arthur said. My heart beats fast. I slowly looked up and turn my gaze on him. He smiled. I give him a what-now? look and then rolled my eyes. He chuckled.

Later, Vince cleared his throat. “So, the main reason is here.” I looked at Vince who looked at Arthur and then to me. I'm shocked when I get his point. I looked at Arthur to see his reaction and he didn't get what Vince is saying.

“You have the chance now, Arthur.” Vince tapped Arthur's shoulder as he left us two. He winked at me and I replied him with you're-making-me-more-nervous-and-embarrassed look. He laughed with no sound. I looked down after that.

Arthur hemmed as he tapped the table. “Hey! Kristi, what did Vince told you before I came?” I looked at him.

“Let's say, the reason why I don't deserve your brother.” He seems shocked with my answer.

“Is that so? Well, you really don't deserve him. Vince told you all the—” I cut his words.

“Nearly,” I smiled. “You're the mean rea—”

“Let's say yes for it is what he believes. He gave me chance for it's my first time to like a girl.” My eyes widened. Well, somewhat true. To be honest, I know him more than I know his brother but I didn't know why I still fall for Acer. Anyway, I can't deny the fact that I also have feelings for him. I can't look on his eyes straightly. I'm nervous.

“Did I say something wrong, Kristi? Why do you keep on looking away this time?” Is he trying to bring back the times that I didn't feel awkward towards him?

I calmed myself and looked at him. I can now say that I'm not that confused with my feelings anymore. “Well, a-actually I-I liked you too, I mean I like you and I t-think I-I'm r-really falling for you n-not to—” He went near me and hugged me that made me stopped talking. My heart beats faster this time. What did I just do?!

“Now I can say that this is the reason why you keep denying your feelings towards my brother for you're not sure of what you felt way back then,” he wisphered on my right ear that made me shiver.

“That was... Wow! Finally, both of you are now honest with yourselves.” Vince said laughing while clapping. Arthur loosen up his hugged and went back to his chair.

“Just shut up!” I and Arthur both said that made Vince laughed so hard and now we both feel embarrassed.

What was just happened this day?!