Natalia Rhodes was a part of Enola Holmes' sixteenth birthday surprise, planned by Enola's mother. However, neither girl knew what Eudoria Holmes had truly been planning, and so the same night that Natalia arrives — Eudoria disappears.

Natalia cannot comprehend why. Eudoria loved the girl, raising her to be a lady of the future. A warrior and a genius. Enola is like a sister to Natalia, someone she'd fiercely fight for. The only thing that makes sense to Natalia about this whole ordeal, is that Eudoria made sure Natalia was there.

Enola is not an ordinary child, the exact opposite in fact. A girl with a mind like her brother's and a brilliance like her mother's. She had never known her father, or Mycroft. Enola had only known Sherlock for a few years as a child. Then all she had was her mother.

Now she doesn't have anyone.

Natalia tries to convince the girl that isn't so. She sends off a telegram to Mycroft's government office, hoping that he would be the only Holmes that she would have to interact with.

A week later and that would prove not to be so.

A telegram arrives from the oldest Holmes brother, directing that a carriage should be sent for the two Holmes arriving at the train station the next day.

Natalia planned to send for her family's carriage from their estate and travel with Enola to the station... Enola, however, had a different plan.

"This girl!" Natalia groans, slumping in the seat of her family's countryside carriage. The driver looks back at her with a side-eye, but Natalia doesn't care what he thinks.

The truth is, Enola is brilliant, but not in a "society" type manner. Natalia had woken up that morning to find Enola missing alongside the bicycle kept in the hallway. She knew immediately what the girl had done. Natalia is exasperated nonetheless, this is about to make collecting Mycroft and Sherlock so much more awkward.

The carriage approaches the train station just as the train comes to a complete stop. Natalia clasps her hands together, taking a heavy breath before getting out of the carriage.

It might be almost two years since their unofficial engagement was called off. Except Natalia hasn't seen Sherlock in person in nearly three years. The two had shared letters occasionally while he was away, but as their correspondence became lost to cases and time, so had their closeness. And eventually, his silence in return to her letters led to the end of what they could have been.

Her nerves are a bundle of anxious energy as she tries not to pass out while she walks through the crowd to find the Holmes siblings. She knows that the three are unmistakable in a crowd.

Then she sees them.

Sees him.

And it's too late to run as his eyes find hers.

Every feeling that she's been shoving away for so long comes rushing back to her surface. Her breath catches in her throat and she can't prevent the anxiety that folds over her like a wave. Yet, Natalia pushes on, clawing her way out.

"We didn't send for you, silly girl. We sent for the carriage," Mycroft scoffs, not quite noticing Natalia yet.

Only his voice, and all other sounds, seem to fade away as Sherlock's eyes glance over her. She can see the shock in his features at the sight of her, and Natalia almost winces under his gaze. How can he affect her like this after so much time? But she pushes away her feelings, shoves her heart deeper into her chest, and checks that it's still locked in place before making her way to the three.

"Enola!" Natalia scolds the girl as she finally takes the last few steps to meet the Holmes siblings.

"Nattie!"

But the disapproving look on Natalia's face causes the girl to pause. Sherlock stares, seemingly speechless at the closeness Natalia shared with his little sister. The shock on his face almost makes her think twice about him, yet she catches herself before her thoughts run wild, focusing on the youngest Holmes at hand.

"We discussed that we would collect your brothers together," Natalia stresses, "I was terrified to find you missing too."

Regret flashes in Enola's eyes as she apologizes, "I'm sorry I didn't even think that-"

"It's okay."

Her voice is soft, gentle, a complete paradox to the feelings thundering throughout her ribcage. She feels as though she might be sick at any second with the anxiety burning in the pit of her stomach. Natalia squeezes Enola's forearm gently, before turning her attention to Sherlock and Mycroft.

"Miss Rhodes, I do hope that you're well?"

Natalia offers Mycroft her hand to shake, plastering a smile that she hopes appears more real than it feels as the man smiles widely.

"Very much so, thank you."

A quick breath escapes between her lips as she clasps her hands together in insincere joy. She's so tired of both of their presences already, and she's ready for this to be over with.

"My family's carriage is waiting for us outside the gates to take us to the manor if you're both ready?"

"What about the carriage I pay for?"

"Are you sure you don't have us confused with a different family?"

Natalia grabs Enola's shoulders at the disgruntled look that flashes across Mycroft's face at her words. She knows that their mother did many things without telling or explaining any of it to her children.. and that includes many lies her son believes to be truths. So Natalia turns away from Sherlock, biting her lip as she leads Enola to the carriage before she can say anything else to spark Mycroft's fury.

But Sherlock's eyes follow her figure as she leaves himself and Mycroft behind. A flurry of unknown feelings stalks his chest, beating on his insides, begging to be released. He has to grip his hands on his cane tightly to keep the only control over himself that he has left.

Why does he feel like this? So discarded now that she won't even look him in the eyes.

A sharp pang in his heart nearly sends him to his knees as his brain rushes to calculate any possibilities.

"She sure didn't seem too thrilled to see you."

"It has been quite some time."

"I truly doubt that's why she ignored you," Mycroft adds with a short laugh.

Natalia remains silent for the carriage ride to the house, mentally preparing herself for their reactions toward the state of the manor as well as what their mother had been doing. She had sat down beside Enola, and across from Mycroft, in order to avoid even eye contact with Sherlock.

She hears Mycroft gaping at the house, losing his mind at the shape that it's in. Natalia thinks that it's a marvel. Overgrown ivy, an array of flowers of every kind, and the weathering the house has been through makes it appear more like a home. It's been her safe haven for so many years now, and its truly wild appearance owns her entire being in so many different ways.

"Gentlemen, welcome home. It's been some time."

Mrs. Lane, the longest lasting Holmes family maid, welcomes the men into the house. Their jaws are agape as they look at what their old home has become. The sitting room has been transformed into a tennis court, where Enola proudly boasts of her improvement in the game. Natalia is merely thankful that her name isn't included beside Enola's on the scorecard Eudoria drew onto the wall.

Books and miscellaneous items litter the hallways. Flowers burst from every available surface and are settled into beautiful arrangements in any container that could hold flowers. New paintings are spread throughout the hallways, most done by Eudoria, depicting flowers and scenes of all kinds with wonderful, professional workmanship.

Natalia and Enola follow the brothers through the manor, Natalia trying incredibly hard to stifle her laughter every time Mycroft appears to lose yet another brain cell to his mother's wild lifestyle. Still, Natalia smiles nostalgically as they wander through the places of her youth, delving into corners of the house she hasn't visited in years as Sherlock searches for any sign of Eudoria Holmes.

Natalia Rhodes knows that the boys will find none.

Natalia stands behind Enola as the girl takes her place at the threshold of her mother's bedroom. Natalia knows as well as Enola what Eudoria prioritized above all other human rights. Privacy. And Eudoria's bedroom was her most private sanctum, one that Enola had told Natalia that she hadn't stepped inside of since she was a young child.

"Where the hell is she?" Mycroft mumbles as he steps, noisely, around the room despite the obvious distaste in Enola's eyes. "Her bed hasn't been made either."

Sherlock's eyes find the flowers bursting from the vase in the middle of the bedroom, humming as he reaches for the petals.

"Chrysanthemums."

"Clothes haven't been put away," Mycroft continues to grumble, thinking himself the more adept detective in the moment.

Sherlock however, continues examing the flowers, mumbling the names of the other flowers in the arrangement before Mycroft loses what little patience he has.

Natalia flinches as Mycroft's voice raises ever so slightly. And when she steers her gaze back into the room she finds Sherlock's eyes peering quite confused in her direction.

"Enough with the bally flowers, Sherlock."

Sherlock sighs and turns away from Natalia, and her now confused eyes, and the flowers to further exam the room.

Sherlock let's out a little suprised "huh" as he looks over the artist supplies.

"Well it wasn't foul play."

Natalia smiles at that, as though Eudoria Holmes could be killed so easily.

"How? Are you certain?"

"Her regular supply of drawing pencils has dwindled to nothing. She clearly had decided not to replace them, and you rarely find that kidnap victims have planned for their own disappearance."

Mycroft gives Sherlock an insincere smirk as he chuckles before rolling his eyes.

Natalia attempts to hide the small smile that brightens her eyes by covering her mouth as she clears her throat. Mycroft had been the same when she was a child. Not as witty as Sherlock, and not very good at hiding how his brother's skills seemingly bothered him. And Sherlock too, it seems, had not changed much. Yet when Natalia met his eyes once again, she was met with the cold, calculating blue of the great detective... not the light eyes of the boy under the tree.

"She wasn't returning, and yet she disguised her intentions perfectly."

"That's good news, is it not?"

Natalia frowns at Mycroft's suggestion. Displeased as she continues to watch the two.

"Depends if you're relying on her coming back."

Sherlock's response is civil. It opens more questions for Mycroft to imagine, but that doesn't keep his mouth shut. Nor does it soothe Natalia's frown.

Mycroft makes an absurd comment about feminism. Natalia's eyes darken, nearly glaring at Mycroft as he begins to insult his mother, calling her mad or senile. Sherlock swiftly comes to his mother's defense. Yet his defense doesn't outright shame Mycroft, it merely redirects his older brother's thoughts to all of the money he's sent Eudoria over the years.

Natalia closes her eyes in exasperation as Mycroft begins yelling off the list of things that he's paid over the years. Enola, still beside her at the entrance to the room whispers responses to everything her eldest brother mentions.

The bathroom that doesn't exist. A water closet that was never built. The rising salaries of all of the people that Eudoria never hired. But Enola grows quiet as her name is brought into the ranting. The nonexistent music and dance teacher for Enola, and a governess that never seemed to arrive. But Natalia knows that Eudoria valued education, same as her sons should know. Natalia herself had practically taken the place of a dance instructor, and a music teacher as well if one were to count the songs Natalia would hum to the younger girl.

Sherlock turns to the two women at the bedroom's entrance, looking to Enola. His tone is soft, yet questioning his mother's choices all the same.

"Enola, you at least had a governess?"

"She wouldn't like you in here. This is her private space."

Enola's response is curt. Avoiding the question entirely. Natalia rubs her back gently, proud of her in this moment. Natalia knows the true extent of Enola's mind - and the extent of the lessons Eudoria gave to her young daughter.

"Tell me, she at least saw that you had an education? She valued education."

Mycroft scoffs behind Sherlock's back as his younger brother asks their sister another question. Enola's eyes harden, the same as Natalia's, as she answers.

"She taught me herself. She made me read every book in Ferndell Hall's library. Shakespeare, Locke, and the encyclopedia, and Thackeray, and the essays of Mary Wollstonecraft. And I did it on my own account. For my own learning. Which, Mother said, was the best way to become a young... woman."

Natalia smiles fondly at Enola, her hand still rubbing Enola's back gently. Sherlock's eyes are locked onto his sister, and Natalia sees a look in his eyes that she hasn't seen in years. It shocks her so much that her mind convinces her in a flurry that she's imagined the awed look in Sherlock's eyes. The same way he once looked at her, as though she was equal to his brilliance.

Natalia freezes outside of the billard room of the Holmes manor. She can hear Sherlock and Mycroft (mostly Mycroft) talking inside.

The room's aesthetic is that of an older style men's club. An antic pool table set in the middle and the walls surrounding the game are inlaid with bookshelves that hold hundreds of books.

Natalia's idea was to merely walk past the billard room to her room in the manor, as it's mainly stayed empty except for the few times Natalia played with Enola when the girl was younger. Still, Natalia stands beside the door of the room, listening to them talk, even when Mrs. Lane approaches the room with a tray of drinks in hand.

Natalia stops the older woman, begging for her silence, and taking one of the glasses off of the tray and filling it to the rim, all the while listening intently to the brother's conversation. Her brow furrows when she hears Mycroft's brazen remarks, practically insulting his own mother in her absence.

Sherlock teases his older brother about his salary when Mycroft tries to complain about the money he sent Eudoria. Natalia, now leaning against the wall next to the door smiles to herself, closing her eyes and taking a sip of the gin as Sherlock's voice seems to cloud her mind as much as the alcohol does.

Natalia pushes off the wall when she hears the information she wanted to know. She goes to Enola's room before going to her own, kissing the girl's forehead and whispering goodnight before disappearing into the dark hallway.

The door of Natalia's room squeaks as she enters the room. Several of Enola's paintings and sketches fill the wall, even more fill Natalia's apartment within London. She loves the abeyance of the room glowing lightly in candlelight.

The bed also squeaks when Natalia climbs on top of it, taking another sip of the gin before she pulls her limbs close to her. She finds little comfort in the little room, nearly cuddling her glass of alcohol. For the first time in a long time, Natalia goes to sleep with his voice murmuring in her head. As though she could forget it.

First thing the next morning, Natalia dresses in her city clothes. Today is the day that she will have to leave Enola in the care of her brothers, something that she finds herself dreading. Natalia takes her bag and purse and goes to Enola's room first.

The young girl is already awake. Enola smiles widely at the sight of Natalia, but the moment she takes in Natalia's appearance her smile droops.

"Must you really leave already?"

"Unfortunately so. I've already extended my stay to ensure that someone would be here with you, Nols."

"I wish you could stay longer though. I'm sure you would be able to convince my brothers out of all of their mental plans for me."

Natalia smiles sadly, letting Enola's head and bringing her in for a tight hug. Enola's arms wrap around Natalia's thin waist and she holds on to her like she's a life line.

"Remember, you can write to me anytime. You know where I live. I'll always be available to you. I promise."

Enola nods, promising her own help to Natalia, and promising that she'll go to Natalia if she ever does need help.

Natalia's smile is somber when she lets go of Enola, kissing the girl's forehead one last time before she exits the room and finds herself face to face with Sherlock.

She freezes. He does too.

"You're leaving today?"

Natalia swallows harshly, before nodding slowly, trying to avoid his eyes but losing that battle quite quickly.

"I am. I only stayed this long until someone could be here for Enola. And, now you are."

She says it hopeful. She says it knowing that the night before, Sherlock released Enola fully into Mycroft's hands. She says it hoping that he can be the older brother Enola has always needed. She says it hoping to see her chestnut haired boy in him once more.

"Allow me," Sherlock says, taking her bag up from the ground before she can stop him.

Her mouth freezes, gaping slightly at the lost opportunity to refuse him.

Natalia seems to lead him through the manor through the front door. Yet when the two arrive outside, Mycroft's "friend" and educator, Miss Harrison, arrives too.

The older woman appears in a motor car, an item that Mycroft gawks and marvels at as he helps Miss Harrison from the car.

Miss Harrison seemingly entrapped by Mycroft's nonexistent charms blushes and tells the man about the car's true purpose in her educator position.

Miss Harrison looks past Mycroft's shoulder as Sherlock places Natalia's bag in her family's carriage. Natalia is immediately pounced upon by the older woman.

"Dear me, Natalia Rhodes is it?"

"Yes. Hello, Miss Harrison."

"You know dear, I taught your mother! Such a shame I didn't get to teach you as well. You studied under an aunt yes?"

"I did. My father's sister has a school closer to our manor than yours was. He thought it more suitable to keep me closer due to how sickly I used to be."

That was a lie. Natalia's mother had hated her time in Miss Harrison's institution and had nearly verbally abused her husband into despising the school as well. Natalia's lips twist downwards at the thought, barely holding a neutral expression at the woman's right grip.

"Oh! I've just remembered! Congratulations on your engagement dear, is there a ring yet? I've heard it hasn't been announced officially, but the two of you already seem ready to tie the knot!"

Natalia almost pukes on Miss Harrison. Her lips form a sharp line and the light leaves her eyes as she pulls her glove off.

"There is, would you like to see?"

Her voice is forced. Her hand shakes as she removes the glove and places her hand in Miss Harrison's so the woman can exam to ring.

Natalia wants to disappear at the look on Sherlock's face.

A sharp pain drives through Sherlock. His breath catches in his throat and his hands trembles the sight of the silver band and diamonds set on her hand. What is this feeling burning in him? Why does it hurt him so to know that she's fallen in love? Isn't that why he let her go?

"It's gorgeous!"

"Thank you."

"Oh, um but dear, you have it on the wrong finger. An engagement band should be on a ring finger, darling."

"Oh I didn't know they had special meanings, thank you for telling me, Miss Harrison.

Natalia's eyes look dark to Sherlock. His eyes find her hand and he freezes to see the ring on her middle finger. And Sherlock can't help but noticing that Natalia merely pulls her glove back on without changing which finger the ring resides.

Miss Harrison's eyes grow wide, and she stammers out a meek response before she turns back to Mycroft and asks for Enola.

Natalia sighs, gripping her right wrist by her left hand. Sherlock's eyes have stayed on the hand with the ring. His eyes soften toward Natalia. That was her nervous habit, one that he remembers her doing quite often in her parents presence.

Natalia moves to climb up into the carriage, but Sherlock intercepts her motion. Opening the door for her and offering up his hand.

Natalia's eyes widen in surprise, assuming that Sherlock had already gone inside with Mycroft and Miss Harrison.

Still, she takes his hand, deciding it would be rude not to, and climbs into the carriage with his help. Once she sits, she turns to him, offering a small smile in return.

"Thank you."

Sherlock can't seem to find any of the words he knows, only nodding as he closes the door and steps away from the carriage. His eyes are stuck on Natalia's, a drumming feeling in his chest and a painful stabbing pain seems to consume him the farther she gets from him.

02.01.2023

it's been a hot minute since I've updated this book, but I hope that it was worth it!!

I love you all so much and I hope that you
enjoy!! and please give me feedback!! sweet comments always seem to give me motivation to write more <3