CHAPTER – 36 (totally unedited, don't point out the mistakes :D )

LOVE IS... HOPELESS

'You can call me selfish, but all I want is your love. You can call me hopeless because I'm hopelessly in love.'

I couldn't do anything but stare at Ashton when he came back from his apartment, after changing into fresh clothes, to my apartment to pick me up, and when he drove us to the restaurant that he had chosen for us to have lunch at, and when he was seated right opposite me in the little private cabin that he had booked for us at this restaurant. Was he for real? Did he really like me? Did everything that had happened in the last few hours had actually happened? Or was it just a beautiful and over enthusiastic figment of my high on caffeine imagination?

Now that we were in the real world surrounded by real people, I had time to think, not that we were in Narnia earlier, but still. And when my messed up thoughts strike my overused head, they create havoc.

I most probably came across as a creep with my continuous staring, but thankfully, Ashton didn't say a word about it. I needed time to absorb the reality.

Ashton liked me.

Ashton kissed me.

Ashton and I were on a date right now.

Okay. I needed a drink.

"Liana, what would you like to have?" Ashton quirked his eyebrows at me while snapping his fingers in front of my eyes; bringing me out of the trance I was in.

"Huh?" I blinked and glanced at the waitress who was staring at me as if I was nuts. 'Excuse me, I am on a date with the guy I love, of course, I'm going nuts!' I wanted to shout and tell the entire restaurant, but decided against it as I was pretty sure that doing that would make me look like a mad woman, and compel Ashton in taking back his words and his kisses. I couldn't afford that. Wait! Was that even possible?

Oh, the havoc in my mind!

Probably, Ashton noticed the horrified look on my face as he smirked and asked, "You look like you're going to puke."

My horrified expressions turned to disgusted ones. "Eww! No! I was just thinking about something." Before he could interrogate any further, I placed my order to the waitress, after which Ashton placed his order.

Once she was gone, Ashton raised his eyebrows at me and asked with a smirk, "What's that 'something' that you're thinking about?" I shook my head with a little smile and little color on my cheeks. I couldn't exactly state my thoughts in front of him and make him run away. His smirk grew bigger and he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table between us as he continued, "Or was it 'someone'?"

Biting my lips, I copied his stance and nodded my head all the while looking back at him.

"Who?" he asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I teased him as a sly grin covered my features.

"I know it's me." He was so full of himself, but his guess was point on, not that I was going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that.

I shook my head, lying through my actions. "Sherlock." I smiled dreamily as I rested my chin on my hand, referring to his best friend's name of the day.

"That's bullshit," he deadpanned.

"Oh, you mean love? Yes, I love Sherlock. That's exactly what it is." The grin on my face couldn't get wider. I was so enjoying using his own logics against him.

He rolled his eyes at me while I continued to grin. "Then you must know that he was 'not a whole-souled admirer of womankind'," he quoted Sherlock Holmes with a serious face.

Truth be told, it was a huge turn on whenever he showed his wit in normal conversations; just like he did right now. Undoubtedly, my grin got wider as I looked at him with stars in my eyes. I was so whipped that it wasn't even funny.

Soon our lunch arrived and we got busy with small talks, which involved me saying everything and eating my food with a huge smile on my face. I wondered why Ashton didn't run away because of my continuous smiling face. I was sure it was creepy. I blamed my smile on the fact that Ashton and I were on a date, when I was supposed to set him up with other girls. I was demeaning professionalism in every sense. And the worst part was that I wasn't feeling guilty even a little bit.

But my brain acted as my savoir as it compelled me to ask one very important question from him, "So what happens to the assignment now?" My heart wanted nothing more than ripping out my over smart brain from my head. It could rot in the alley behind.

Ashton looked up from the almost finished fish in his plate. Looking at me with a frown, he shrugged his shoulders, "You know that I don't f*cking care about it since the beginning. Why would I care about it now? Put an end to it. Simple." With that he got back to his food, as if the solution he just presented was as simple as saying 'hi'.

Still, I couldn't exactly blame him for taking it so casually. I, myself, could have been as nonchalant as him about this matter, had Priscilla had been my mother and not my boss. After stabbing a broccoli with my fork and putting it in my mouth, I asked him, "Then how would I complete this month's article?"

He sighed. "Write any crap you want to write, Liana. Use my name, I don't care. It's not like I'm going to fall in love in the week that is left or in the near future." He scoffed in the end before taking a sip another bite.

My eyes widened and my mouth fell open at his words. Thankfully, he got back to eating his fish so he didn't notice my reaction. Hearing such words from Ashton's mouth shouldn't have been surprising. But they were. They hurt. Masking my hurt expressions with a fake smile, I excused myself and went to the restroom.

I blinked back the few tears that were threatening to slip from my eyes. There was no place for them here in my story. I could make a perfect one without them. Thank you!

Looking at my sudden distressed form in the mirror, I shook my head to clear it up with all the confusion. How could I take his liking towards me as love? What he felt for me was far from love. Of course, it was. I was foolish to take a deeper meaning of his words for a few ecstatic moments. Gladly, his words brought me back to reality. And the reality was that Ashton liked me. His feelings didn't involve the word 'love', contrary to mine.

My ego gave me two options at that very moment – one, I could tell Ashton that this thing between us wouldn't work as I had decided to accept your mother's new job offer that required me to travel the world. Thereby, putting an end to our eager touches, hot kisses, heartfelt smiles, silly talks, and this one date.

The second option involved me burying the critical part of me - that was glaring at me and asking me to step out of this mess with utmost dignity - somewhere deep inside and not let it resurface. I could spend the next few days to the maximum, creating memories that I could take away with me. So what if he didn't love me? I could bask in the glory of being his infatuation and desire for as long as I was here in this city. So what if I had to go away in merely a fortnight? I could make this fortnight a happily memorable one. So what if I was bound to get hurt in the end? I could . . . I could make these days worth the pain.

Without missing a heartbeat, my selfish heart chose the second option.

Well, now it was my brain that wanted to rip out my heart and let it rot in an alley.

With the complete determination of staying positive, I went back to the cabin with a smile on my face. We again started eating whatever was left on our respective plates and I told him, "I was thinking that we should meet the remaining girls."

Ashton's eyes widened at my suggestion and he asked after swallowing the bite in his mouth, "Why?"

Sighing, I told him, "Because I have to report to your mother-" he opened his mouth to interrupt me, but I was quick to continue, "-who happens to be my boss and I can't just abandon an assignment midway."

He pinched the bridge of his nose and looked at me with a serious face. "None of them would interest me, Liana. It'll just be a waste of time."

My heart skipped a beat at his confession, but I continued, "Then let it be, Ashton. I'm already doing terribly with this assignment. I've not been able to write even a single paragraph, and I've hardly a week to finish it."

He pressed his lips in a thin line. "Okay," he muttered. "But I have a few conditions."

"Okay. Go ahead." I placed my elbow on the table.

"First, don't expect me to be polite or any that crap with them," he stated with the most serious expression known to mankind.

Laughter escaped my lips and I told him, "You know the word 'polite'?"

He let out a sarcastic laugh, and ignoring my question he continued, "Second, not more than an hour with every girl. In fact, one hour is a lot. Let's bring it down to half an hour. Okay?"

I was already shaking my head even before he completed his condition. "I would like to bargain here. One hour per girl."

He frowned slightly, but nevertheless agreed. "Next is that you'll be with me at every meeting we go to. No escaping anymore."

I smiled at this condition and my heart swelled with joy at the realization that he had missed me at the one meeting where I wasn't with him. He took my smile as a confirmation and smiled back at me, making me look at him like a love struck girl. God, that smile had the supple power of killing me in a flash and bringing me back from the dead.

"The final condition is that I still want your definitions every day." His smile was smug, while I shook my head.

"Really?" I frowned. What was the need for that now?

He laughed at my helpless, tiresome expressions and nodded. He leaned forward only to lightly tap my forehead with his knuckle, taking me by surprise and making me smile at his gesture. "No bargain there."

Nodding my head with a smile, I repeated, "No bargains."

**

"Where are we?" I voiced out my confusion as Ashton busied himself with opening the lock of the hall that we were trying to get into.

"New York City," he grunted, making me roll my eyes at his stupidity.

"Thank you for the brand new information," I mumbled, looking around the street warily. After our late lunch, Ashton had told me that he wanted to show me something. Being the happy in love girl, I nodded like a fool and followed his wishes. He could show me anything he wanted. Every pun intended!

He parked his car in front of a single storey house in a relatively nice area of the city. The house seemed to be empty, but some type of construction work was going on there as there were wooden planks right outside it, and the house seemed incomplete from the outside as well. The fool in me disappeared the moment Ashton tried to open the door. Whose house was it? And why were we even here?

He snickered at my response while I pressed my lips in a thin line. "I don't want to get into any kind of trouble, Ashton. You can't open the door with my hairpin! Let's go!"

Not bothering to pay attention to my state of panic, he continued doing his task. "I'm half way done. Just shut up!"

"No! I won't." I argued just for the sake of arguing.

He turned slightly back and smirked. "I'll shut you up once we get inside." My heart skipped a beat at his brashness and blood rushed to my cheeks. In response, I merely swatted his arm.

"Will you tell me where we are? I don't like surprises." I grumbled, eager to see what was on the other side of the door. This was so typical - the guy not telling the girl where he was taking her, and the girl asking the question again and again. I was living the life of a main character of a romance novel. How awesome!

The lock clicked open, but Ashton turned around to look at me. With raised eyebrows, he asked, "Who said this is a surprise?"

For the umpteenth time, blood rushed to my cheeks, but this time in complete embarrassment. My mouth fell open as my thoughts struggled to convert into words, but miserably failed. Ashton was so not living the life of the hero in a romance novel; villainous roles suited him.

"You are an idiot." He laughed at my expressions and gave me a brief, sweet kiss, making all the embarrassment worth it. 

Oh well, I don't mind the villain; my villain.

Ashton managed to open the door with my hair pin while I was lost in my giddy thoughts. Opening the door, he stepped inside and flicked the lights on a moment later. I followed him and looked around the empty room. The room looked like it had been freshly decorated with classiest shades of beige, creams and whites. The paint buckets were kept in a corner, near the glass tinted window, confirming my suspicions. The huge room looked so perfect that I forgot about my worries of about ten minutes ago.

"Whose place is this?" I asked, my question coming out in a whisper.

Ashton cracked a little smile at me awe and answered, "Sherlock owns this."

"We broke into his property!" I covered my mouth with my hands in horror of doing something illegal.

He laughed at my expense. "He knows I'm here. I have a set of keys, but I forgot it at home. Don't worry."

I nodded my head with a grimace. "It's beautiful," I told him.

"You liked it?" he asked, looking uncertain for some reason.

"What's there not to like?" I smiled at him in reassurance.

He breathed out in relief and ran his fingers through his hair. I bit my lips to stop my smile from expanding any further. "I have chosen this place for my next art exhibition."

"Wow."

"Yeah. I have done exhibitions mainly in Europe till now. This exhibition is going to be huge as it's the first one here in The States and I want it to be the best. I have hardly two months to put it together, and there is so much to do, you know..."

I stared at him as he continued giving words to his passion. Knowing that Ashton was a renowned artist was a different thing, but listening to him talk about it so passionately was something entirely different. My heart swelled with pride and respect as I listened to him talk about the placement of his paintings, the sequence he has planned to place them and everything that mattered to him. Who said he was good for nothing? They clearly didn't know him. And now that I knew him, I couldn't help but fall deeper in love with him.

"It's amazing, Ashton." I told him with complete sincerity.

"It is going to be amazing," he said with complete conviction and faith. He smiled back at me, his rare, beautiful, heartfelt smile that had managed to melt my heart, even the first time I had seen it. "Well, more than enough about me. I'm becoming sappy and I don't like it." He shuddered dramatically, making me laugh. "Tell me about yourself. Have you always wanted to be a writer?" He leaned against a window, looking at me with a little smile on my face.

I went and stood beside him, keeping a good distance between us and shrugged my shoulders. "No, not always. When I was six, I wanted to own the candy shop down the street, back in my hometown, as it had the best chocolates and I wanted an unlimited access to the sweet goodness." We both chuckled at that, and I continued, "When I was eleven, I wanted to be a doctor. I used to make up stories about my imaginary patients and treat them with the finest imaginary equipments and medicines. When I turned thirteen, I wanted to be Oprah." Ashton laughed at this and I mocked hurt by touching my heart. "Don't laugh at my dreams!" He laughed harder and I joined him. Once we both calmed down, I continued, "I guess, I always had a passion of story telling. I used to make up stories in my head at night and jot down those little stories in my notebook the next day. By the time I was in my senior year, I joined the school's paper and started writing for it. That's when I realized that it was my calling, oh, and also, I wasn't super intelligent to be a doctor." I half joked at the end and he smiled at me.

"Out of all the articles you have written, which one is your favorite?" he asked and I grimaced at his question.

I thought about it. Out of all the heartfelt articles I had written for the first seven months of this job and the fake articles I had written with a bitter heart for the next four months, I had to choose one which was my favorite. "It was the story I wrote of William and Lily," I answered. It was true, though.

"William and Lily?" He echoed with raised eyebrows, clearly indicating that he had no idea about who they were.

I smiled at his lost face. "They are my parents' neighbor. I met them when Nolan was cheating on me here, and ironically, I was writing about them when I found out that he was cheating, and when I met you. When I had started writing about them, I was so excited. They are the epitome of a perfect couple, you know. But because of my heartbreak, I ended up writing it with a bitter heart. How funny is it that it is my readers' favorite write-up from me? Maybe I won't ever understand the reason of it. Or maybe it was because I had written it when I was facing the consequences of my break up and my feelings were constantly fluctuating between hatred and sadness over love. So many times, I wanted to write in that article that 'love is bullshit'." Ashton let out an amused chuckled at my confession while I rolled my eyes with a smile on my face. "But I didn't because even though love was bullshit for me, it wasn't for them." I realized that maybe I had said a lot more than I had intended to, I smiled brightly and told him, "They'll be celebrating their sixty fourth anniversary next month."

"Holy shit! That's way too much."

I chuckled. "You've never read any of my articles, have you?"

Laughing, he shook his head. "Why would I? Love is bullshit, Liana. Why would I want to read about bullshit?"

My smile faded a bit, but I managed to nod my head. "Yeah, right."

'Love was, is, and probably will always be bullshit for him.' I mentally concluded with a sigh.

We fell in silence after that, silence that Ashton broke by turning around and going beside the window where paint boxes were kept. He bent down to fetch something. "A Bluetooth speaker?" I asked, staring at the little portable speaker in his hand.

He grinned as he connected his phone with the speaker. "I often come here and then I left it here for the interior decorators. They must get bored with all the work."

I hummed and asked, "But what are you doing with it now?"

"Playing basketball," he replied with a roll of eyes. I let out a sarcastic laugh and stepped towards him. I tried to pry and see the songs that he was putting in a playlist, but he hid his phone well. After about two minutes, he placed the speaker in a corner and his phone in his pants pocket after playing some music.

"Come here." He held my hand and dragged me to the center of the hall. He placed one of my hands on his shoulder and held the other one, making us stand in the classic ballroom dance posture.

Chuckling at the lack of chivalry displayed by him, I told him, "People often use words like, 'May I have this dance?' to bring the lady to the dance floor."

He snorted. "So many words in a gentlemanly way? That'll finish my quota of being a gentleman for the next five years in just one sentence. So tell me, what exactly do you prefer - one sentence right now or one word per year for the next five years?"

Although my heart swelled at what he might have been trying to imply with his words, I brushed it off as one of his jokes. Who knows where we will be in the next five years?

The words of the song registered in my head and a smile made its way to my face. "I love The Script," I told him.

He smiled back and snaked his hands around my waist, making my heart go crazy with the speed at which it was beating. I allowed it to calm down a bit and snaked my hands around his neck. I stared in his gray eyes that had always intrigued me to no ends, as he stared back at me. It was funny how I used to search for opportunities to look in his eyes until the day before, and now he was giving me the same opportunity without asking for it.

If I thought that I couldn't feel giddier, he proved me wrong when he ever so slowly sang the next lines of the song while staring right at me.

"I may not have the softest touch

I may not say the words as such

And though I may not look like much

I'm yours.

And though my edges may be rough

I never feel I'm quite enough

It may not seem like very much

But I'm yours."

I trembled at the intensity of his eyes and husky voice, thankfully he was holding me. I still refused to draw any deeper meaning of his words. What was the use? I had to go away anyway. He just liked me. It wasn't love. Love was bullshit. But no matter how much I tried to brush everything aside, I couldn't brush aside the hope that was rising in my heart. Next, I did what I wanted to do; something that I had been craving to do since we left my apartment in the noon. I pulled him towards me and kissed him with all the love I felt for him. He responded immediately, holding me tight in his embrace. The kiss that I had started, soon was dominated by him; not that I was complaining. I don't know for long we kissed and if it hadn't been for the basic need of breathing, I doubt we would have pulled away.

He rested his forehead against mine as we breathed in complete bliss. After a moment, he narrowed his eyes at me with humor clear on his face and said, "You do realize that you haven't told me that you like me too, right?"

I couldn't help but laugh at his question. Wasn't my eagerness in kissing him back a huge answer in itself? Wasn't me coming here on this date with him a proof of my feelings? Wasn't the passionate kiss that we just shared enough to tell him how I felt for him? Did he really want me to say it out loud? "Maybe because I don't." I smirked, giving my feelings a playful turn as well.

His eyes widened in a dramatic fashion and he kept a hand over his heart. "Oh, so you're using me for my terrific, earth shattering, and mind blowing kisses?"

"Am I that obvious?" I gasped in mock horror, making him laugh. The truth was that I didn't want to lie to him. Why lie? I didn't just like him, I loved him.

He stopped my train of thoughts with yet another one of his 'terrific, earth shattering and mind blowing kiss'.

If fourteen days back, someone would have told me that Ashton and I would go on a date for a complete day, stealing kisses from each other, finding excuses to touch each other, smiling and laughing without a care in the world, I would have laughed in their face and asked them to wake from the terrible nightmare that they were seeing. But here we were doing everything we had never thought of doing; everything we were not supposed to do.

I was so hopeless in love that it wasn't even funny.

******

A/N (Over 4000 words in this chapter, dude! Yayy for me. Lol)

How was it? Like it? Love it? No option to hate it! :D 

So, this was their date. Finally! Hope you all understand Liana's frame of complex mind. And I LOVE Ashton! He is amazing. I would definitely love to write his pov sometime. :D

Also, I had changed this story's category from Humor to Romance. Just FYI. :)

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