Ella's POV.

I had my head buried in my pillow and my body was curled up in a ball. My heart was in pain and my eyes just won't stop shedding tears. I wondered where this much water was even coming from and I bet my eyes were red and puffy by now.

I felt so...

Torn apart...

It felt like somebody had ripped my heart out of my chest and as for my feelings, they were all tangled up. I was feeling agony, hate, pain, confusion, and sadness.

I was in agony knowing what I just did to him, in pain of knowing he didn't stop me this time, in confusion why he let me go and in the sadness of loneliness. This all made me loathe myself, to curse my own self.

It made me hate myself.

"I hate me," I muttered under my breath as fresh tears welled up in my eyes.

"Honey! Are you okay?"

I jolted at the knock on my bedroom door as my mum's voice came in. I hurriedly got up and rushing to the washroom, I washed up my face but it was of no use as my eyes were still red and puffy. I was sure my mom would see right through me and that wasn't a good thing right now. This would lead to questions and I would have no choice but to lie, to hide him, to hide us.

I don't think there was an us anymore...

I was alone now.

It's just me...

No him... No us...

Just me alone... Without him...

My reflection mocked at me as few tears again rolled down my cheeks and my lips wobbled.

This all hurt so much...

"Ella, dear! You are fine in there?" My mom asked worriedly knocking my washroom door this time.

I knew she would come in. It happens whenever I don't reply or don't answer her. She would just come in to check on me to see if I was fine or not and every time I was fine but not this time.

This time, I was dying...

"Sweetheart!" I sensed panic this time in her voice and the next thing was going to be this door opened by her.

I could not let her see my eyes...

I searched my cabinet to see if I could find any glasses but it was of no use. I searched my hanging clothes behind the washroom door but it was of no use as well. I bit my lower lip, pondering what should I do now.

"Ella! Are you fine?" This time my mom yelled making me flinch.

"Y-yes..." I whispered.

"What?"

"Mom! I am...fine," I said a little louder this time.

"Everything alright?"

Gosh! Mom! Please let me have a little peace of mind for a moment.

"Yes... I'll come see you after... Uh... After I took a bath. Yeah! I am busy." I lied to her, hoping she would just leave.

"Ok."

Thank God!

I let out a sigh of relief and sat on the edge of my bathtub. My breathing rapid and my heart hammering in my rib cage. And it made me wonder, what was its cause? Was it my mom's sudden appearance or was it due to him?

I decided to take a warm shower thinking that it might wash some of my regrets. Stripping out of my clothes, I stood under the shower and turning the tap on, I let the warm water run through my body. Closing my eyes, I stayed there for at least ten minutes, hoping that this running water would wash away some of my regrets and pain.

After taking a long relaxing bath and dressing up, I went to see my parents. My eyes weren't that red or puffy thanks to that warm shower. However, they did look a little tired and worn out.

"Hi, Mom! Hi Dad!" I greeted them as they were in the living room. Mom gave me a smile and dad gave me a slight nod. He was busy with some files and was engrossed in it.

"Honey! Come here." My mom called me and I sat beside her. I gave her a smile as she looked at me closely, making me sweat.

Please don't look through me...

"Why are your eyes red? Are you fine? Do you have a fever?" My mom took my face in her hand and started inspecting me.

"Mom! I am fine. Just...a bit tired. You know studies can be tough." I smiled although it came much like a crooked one. I removed her hand from my forehead assuring her that I was just a bit tired.

"Then you should take some rest." Mom kissed my forehead and patted my cheek gently.

I nodded and stood up to go to my room thanking God that I was saved from her questions. As I was going to leave, dad called out my name, making me stop in my tracks. I turned my attention to him as he was looking straight into my eyes. I gulped with nervousness at what could be the matter now.

"Come here." He motioned me to a seat beside him and with small steady steps, I moved towards it. I sat beside him and hung my head low. My eyes set on my shoes and my body drenched in nervousness.

Had he found out about Xaiden?

Or did he know that someone knows my born name?

God! What did he want to ask now?

Please help me...

"Ella!" His voice demanding, making me gulp on my saliva.

"Yes, dad?" I muttered still confused and a bit afraid.

"It's your last year in high school. Right?"

I let out a deep breath and sighed on knowing it was nothing related to Xaiden. Because if that was the case, my dad would have probably smashed that antique vase placed on the front table into the wall and would have placed me under high guard with double security. Just imagining a life two times harsher and tougher than what I was having now, made me feel suffocated.

It would be no less than a prisoner sentenced to death...

"Yes, dad!" I smiled this time. Just a few months left and then I would be able to hopefully enter a medical college. I would be able to pursue my dream of becoming a doctor.

"Good. After that, you'll handle this empire." His words made my mouth open in shock.

Handle this empire?

What did he mean?

"Dad! I want to go to university and become a doctor. Maybe after that, I can-"

"No, sweetie! You aren't going to college. Once your high school ends, you'll be trained to take my place." His voice authoritative and his words final.

"But you have been training me since I could remember. Now I want to pursue my dream." I tried to reason with him, to convince him so he could agree.

"It was just the beginning. You have to be strong and powerful. You must not show your weakness to your enemies. You should be authoritative and demanding. Your voice should be harsh enough to make people tremble and your heart should be cold enough."

What?

My heart cold and my voice harsh?

"You should be merciless and have the ability to show your people who their boss is. You should be able to make them shiver by your mere gaze." His words were so hurtful that it cut me like a sword. I couldn't believe my dad wanted to train me and just to make me that. I don't think so I had even hurt a single being and now this much?

I can't...

I don't want to...

"Dad! I...I wanted to be a doctor. It's my dream."

"Your dream is only to become a Mafia leader and to rule."

"A dream to become a monster? A beast? Do you want to turn your own daughter into a blood-seeking monster? Aren't you a bit hesitant?" I spoke up. I haven't stood up for anything against him in my entire life. When he put me under guards 24/7 protection, I didn't protest. When he said I couldn't talk to a boy or make friends, I stayed silent. When he said that I couldn't live like normal teenagers, I accepted.

But now, he wanted to make his own daughter a walking monster?

How could he? Doesn't he love me? How could he do something so cruel?

"Dad! Please I-"

"We are monsters. Whether you accept it or not. You were born as my daughter and a demon's child is a demon as well. So you, my dear, will become one too."

"But-"

"Ellen Austin! The great Mafia princess! Don't forget who you really are! Don't forget your reality! Whether you call it a monster or a beast. You are one of us and will rule this empire, and it's final. We will not discuss this topic again." His every word firm and never daunting. He had even called me by my born name indicating that he had spoken his final words, shattering my dreams into a pile of dust.

He stood up and left as my eyes staring in my mom's direction, who stayed silent during our talk. My bottom lip quivered as I placed a hand on my mouth to muffle my cry. Today for the second time my heart got shattered. First, Xaiden was the reason and now, my own dad crushed it like a small crystal.

"El-"

Before mom could say a single word, I ran upstairs to my room and locked myself in. Resting against the door, I brought my knees closer and burying my head in them, I let out my loud cries.

My life was so cruel...

I hated it...

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