Anxiety

"So, what I'm hearing is: you found basically the perfect woman and you stay up late talking to her every night until one of you falls asleep but somehow you aren't sure if you want to date her? Am I missing something, or are you just unusually crazy today?"

Fall sighed and looked up from her work screen, her fingers paused in a graceful arch of quiet competence. "Pyxis, I'm not crazy. I have real concerns about a relationship that started with an online game and a certain amount of anonymity."

The blonde electrotech rolled her eyes towards the red dome above them. "You and your pragmatism. Fall, your feelings aren't any less real just because the person who causes them is on the other side of a screen. Hell, three quarters of our work takes place behind a screen. That doesn't make our successes any less amazing."

"That's different," Fall said as she glanced around them surreptitiously to see if their supervisor was near, "because our work has obvious fail conditions. I know instantly if a project is going to move onto the next stage, and when, and roughly how long that will take. People are... harder. There are no steadfast deadlines or outlined parameters for success. I can't math my way into a healthy relationship."

"Well, obviously not. You could probably program yourself into one, though I don't think society is ready for the A.I. of love just yet."

"Pyxis, I'm being serious!"

"When aren't you?"

"Pyxis!"

She sighed. "Alright, alright. Listen, Fallina, I love you. You're my best friend in the whole wide worlds, but when it comes to people, you don't have the most experience. What you are describing, your feelings and actions, sounds a lot to me like this woman would be a good romantic partner for you. I mean, there are some downsides that you should consider, but overall... I'm in support of you."

Fall frowned at her work screen, her fingers still frozen above the keys as the computer waited for her to finish her input. Math was easy for Fall. Why couldn't people and relationships be like math? Input some key numbers and calculate. Done. 

Fall sighed and lifted her hands to rub her temples. Her brown curls continued their riotous escape from her hair band, and she tucked them behind her ears out of habit. "I just don't know, Pyxis. She's a Venutian. I know travel is still pretty restricted for them, but I could visit the station around Earth's orbit fairly easily. I could... see her..." 

She let out a slow breath as the weight of the words registered in her mind. I could see Mei. I could touch her and... she ... she would see me. Fall looked down to her lap, and bit her lip. "Pyxis, what if she doesn't want me? What if she sees my chair and freaks?"

Sympathy warmed Pyxis' eyes. She launched herself away from the electrical panel she had been fidgeting with and settled gently in front of Fall. Low-gravity conditions made moving the aerospace machinery much easier, but it also made regular movement a little odd. 

"Fallina, listen to me very carefully," Pyxis murmured as she looked up into her friend's eyes, "You know that I don't care that you have a disability, yeah?"

Fall's beautiful brown eyes were full of uncertainty, but she nodded. "Yeah. But you're dif--"

Pyxis shook her head. "No, Fall. I'm not different. I love you, and I think this Mei will love you too. But how can she love you if you never give her the chance to know you? All of you?"

Fall bit her lip and looked away, blinking rapidly. "I'm scared, Pyxis. I really like her. I don't want to be rejected."

Pyxis squeezed her hand. "Fall, if you get rejected, then I will throw you the best party you've ever seen. I'm talking hard liquor, that one boy band you secretly love but won't admit to liking, and strippers as far as the eye can see."


At Fall's disbelieving face, Pyxis grinned. "I'll import all the strippers from other planets. It'll cost me my life savings, but I'll go down in history for being a legend. Yeah?"

Fall laughed, she couldn't help herself. Pyxis grinned, showing her single dimple off. "Just remember, Fall, as scary as this is, you're not alone. It's human to want affection, in some form or other. And you've always got me, if things go south."

"I know, Pyxis. Some days I think you're the best thing that ever happened to me, outside of Axel."

"Pfft. Axel can't do calculus for shit. I am the best thing that ever happened to you."

"You're not wrong, but he is cuter."

"You wound me, Fallina. You wound me."

"I love you, Pyxis."

"Right back at you, sweetheart. To the stars and back." Pyxis stood up carefully, hooking her feet under Fall's chair to stay put. "Now, back to work with us or the boss will have our hides. Ready, partner?"

Fall smiled up at her. "Let's do this!"

A peek into the life of a faerie. :)

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