The dusky gray sky washed over wooden floors of Athina's apartment as melodic pattering of rain on a metal roof gently made it's way through the frame. Her window had always seemed to be open, wispy lace curtains swaying in the breeze. A few sparse candles created low light across the scattered books and disheveled furniture, again they had laid carnal waste to the living space.

Resting on a small bare mattress, both had given up on the sheets as they kept unraveling with the constant tug of their bodies. Splayed in front of him, face buried in the middle of a pillow, her frantic breathing finally settled into a deep sleep. Lightly tracing over the blue and purple markings on her hips as she lay still, he marveled at the fluid swirls as they made paisley tracks across her golden skin. He always grasped her so tightly against him, wanting to get as close as possible, it never seemed he could get close enough. Fingertips digging into layers, desperately trying to explore as far as he could inside her. His trimmed nails leaving little red crescent shapes within the bruises. The branding he left behind not made in anger or accident but of lust and desire, seemed so powerful to him. Licking a finger he edged the wetness over the violet discoloration as if binding himself to her.

Adjusting his legs he refocused to a piece of paper that lay across her ass, a makeshift table as he wrote. Pen moving quickly over the surface, unable to keep up with her curve it slipped through creating a hole. Forcing the pen's tip into supple flesh. With the sudden jab she begun to stir restlessly.

Through dark ringlets she looked to him a grin growing behind a coiled curtain. "You know my back would probably be much sturdier."

"Not as much fun, though." He tried to restrain her as she wiggled underneath him tauntingly. "If you don't stop, I'll poke you again."

"I don't mind." Athina whispered into her pillow.

"What?"

"Being poked." With her eyebrow raised she turned to look at him. Her full lips slightly swollen from hours of stimulation.

"F..u..c..k..." This word fell slow and guttural from his lips. The paper that once held his attention was thrown to the floor, as his hand began to make a slow crawl, skimming the inside of her thigh.

"Exactly." She mewed seductively, sliding onto her knees, anticipating the movement of his hand making its way up her leg.

The heat from the rawness between her legs made him begin to throb. Feeling the growing slickness as his fingers reached into her, he exhaled as if he had been waiting to breathe all along. It had been four maybe five days since they had left the apartment, both had lost count, or maybe they hadn't really cared to start counting anyway. Hoping their bodies could take the place of words, they tried tirelessly to apologize. Though neither had come to the point of acceptance. He was sorry he had tried to force her into something that she didn't want, and she sorry she didn't want what he had offered.

"I'm tired of being... Ahhh... cooped up in here, let's go onto the balcony...Ohhh..." She arched her back into him, his palm gently cupping against her, while his fingers delved deep. "No one will...Uhhhh... hear us, it's Sunday everyone's closed."

"Especially you." He grunted wrapping an taunt arm around her thigh for greater leverage, his fingers continuing to thrust as her body moved with his. The sound of gasps and quick inhaled breaths drove him crazy as they spoke. These inflections had become a normal part of their conversation over the past week, he loved it best when she could no longer form her words at all and the only sounds emitting from her lips were unbridled moans as she writhed against him.

"It's been days...Mmmmm... I am sure the few customers I had.... Ahhhh... are long gone now. You're trying to...Uhhhh... ruin me aren't you?" A gasp caught her throat as he removed his fingers. She watched him as he let a small smile slip before licking feverishly at the liquid that glistened in the candlelight. Tongue gliding effortlessly over his hand to collect every drop.

"Kid, come on." She tilted her head towards the open window and sat on her knees to face him. Pulling his hand towards her, he grazed a moist fingertip over an erect peak.

"It's raining."

"What, you afraid you gonna melt?"

"No." He answered in cryptic defiance. His figure claiming the warm spot she had just vacated. Tucking her pillow tightly around his head he nudged his body into the mattress as if he were going to sleep, but she knew better.

"Fine." Sucking her teeth she whispered, "priss" against his ear. Her tongue darting out swiftly to trail the edge. Stretching her worn body, she crawled over him making sure her skin touched as much of his as possible as she made her way off the bed. A faint moan escaped him and he reached for her but she slinked out of his grasp.

Finding his abandoned shirt on the floor she threw it over her shoulders and stumbled to the kitchen. Pouring water into its spout she placed a kettle with a slight metallic thunk on the eye of her stove. Looking down at the dark fabric that hung loosely from shoulders, her fingers traced over the hazy dried stains that splattered across the front. His shirt was filthy but she couldn't find it in her to wash it, at least not yet. The mixture of their bodies lingered through the threads. His floral cologne mingling with her spicy perfume barely covering the lusty musk of both of their scents. This combination had sent her reeling and she breathed in deeply hoping to to remember each subtle note.

Coming back home from the studio, they had gotten sloppy. Hardly making it from his bike through the door of her shop. He had decided the stairs leading to her apartment was good enough, and bent her body over the wrought iron roughly. His thrust were too frantic, holding her at an odd angle to reach her center through the leg of her shorts. Losing his footing he accidentally slipped out just before he came. The warm liquid spilling over their bodies, creating a perfect mess.

"I told you the stairs could be tricky, but you didn't listen." She breathed heavily a devious curl forming across her lips. Laughing he reached out a thumb to wipe away the droplets that had found its way onto her chin. Smoothing it over her face he collected them. Her tongue drew the digit into her mouth sucking away his remnants.

For a brief moment she watched as his thickly rimmed lids closed taking in the feeling of her tongue as it wrapped around him, the gentle pressure expertly reminding him of her mouth on another stiffened appendage. Eyes fluttering open he couldn't stand her teasing lips any longer. With a low growl he spat, "Upstairs!" Hardly giving her enough time to stand before he rounded her ass and pushed her impatiently up every step.

"Hey, wanna hear what I poked you for?" He called from the next room, fingers mindlessly playing over the keys of her piano.

The tinkling sound bringing her out of the memory and she grinned, just the deep tone of his voice brought a shiver through her, goosebumps rising softly. She was fighting a losing battle. Foolishly she had once thought she would be the victor. Now with every moment she laid in his arms, each breath that fell across her neck, or lingering kiss, it was getting harder for her to say no to him... damn... she in trouble.

Peeking around the corner she watched him at her ancient piano. She could never play but loved the way it reverberated off the walls of her tiny apartment, especially underneath his nimble fingers. Walking over silently she leaned in, hovering, waiting for him to take notice.

"Are you listening?" He called back to the kitchen eyes not leaving the hastily scribbled lyrics. Scratching at the hole the pen had made, he smiled at the thought of her curve underneath the page.

"Yes." She whispered into his ear, kissing it quickly. She watched as he gave a quick jump, finally after all this time she had been able to startle him. Taking his lobe between her teeth she gently nibbled at his flesh. Giving a "Mmmmmm..." beneath her, his arms snaked up the shirt she wore. Fingers pressing lightly against her. She had always loved the feel of rough callouses on the pads of his fingertips. Every inch of his molten skin had been smooth, soft, this one small flaw made him all the more tempting.

"Shit." He grinned shaking his head. "You get me so off track." Squeezing the roundness of her breast he removed his hand instantly.

"Apparently that's my NEW job."

"Well, I can't pay you." He turned and looked up to her, rose colored lips pursed in arrogance. His eyes lidded heavy, chin cocked as he dared her for a comeback.

"Oh, I'm getting plenty." Her fingers began to tussle through the patch of dark hair on his chest. Leaning in he kissed her arm, she felt his teeth press against her as he smiled. Beginning to play a soft tune, his voice soon followed deep and soulful.

She took off her dress, and I took a peek
While thunderstorm played hide and seek
I begged for a kiss, she gave me seven
Our lips touched and it feel like heaven
Everything I want is what she does to me
She don't blush 'cause she's so damn free
When she makin' love it's like surgery
And she say, ooh, I love you in me...

After the first verse he stilled his hands on the keys and waited for her reaction. Refusing to meet her gaze, he tried to settle the thumping pace of his heart as it raced. What if she had said no all over again.

She remembered when she had used those exact words. Their last binge the week before, as she ripped herself away from his arms. "Surgery?" She questioned lazily combing through his long hair.

"Yeah. You know precise...skilled..." He fumbled trying to find the exact words. "It makes you whole again." With that phrase he felt her gasp against his back giving him the courage to finally find her eyes through the dim room.

"Oh, Kid." She whispered breathlessly, her delicate fingers covering an open mouth in awe. Her surprised reaction the same as it had been in the studio when her words echoed through his voice.

Removing her hand from her lips the wide collar of his shirt slipped down her shoulder barely exposing a breast before he took a tawny nipple into his mouth and sucked her skin hungrily. Swinging his body on the piano bench, his knees locked around her calves as he pressed her deeper into him. Still playing through his hair she tugged slightly and felt the soft vibration of a moan pass through his throat. Yanking harshly at the other sleeve both of her shoulders slid from the neck revealing her breasts. Instantly taking the erect nub between his teeth he nibbled mercilessly, causing her to grind against him. Feeling the warmth of his growing thickness rubbing on her thighs, her breath quickened wanting to feel him inside her again. Chest clenched yearning for his body as if she had never wanted anything more. Throwing her head back in surrender as he began to widen her thighs to accommodate him. Suddenly as the heat between them grew too much the high pitched whistle of the kettle in the kitchen began to blow. Breathing a sigh of relief she tried to escape his grasp, he always held her too tight, and she had begun ache for the closeness to him... shit... she was falling.

"Don't leave me." He grumbled still trying to rein in her attention.

"If I'm not mistaken, it's you who's leaving me."

With those words his limbs fell loose from her, he had forgotten. Forgotten every shitty thing outside of the world they had created for themselves. Watching longingly as she slinked back into the kitchen to quell the blaring scream, his tunic skimmed the thighs he so eagerly tried to spread. Gone for days, no one knew where he was. There were no calls to make, no papers to sign, no contracts, no disenchanted label, no California within these walls. The only thing that mattered was her... her and him, their own private Eden. It had been so long since he had lived without someone else's expectations. He didn't want to leave her, he wasn't ready. Running his hands through his hair in frustration he shuffled to her bookshelf, lingering over each leather bound volume of her life.

Taking the kettle off the stove the sudden silence seemed deafening. Pouring boiling water into a mug she strained an ear to listen for his gait but nothing was found. What if he had left with her harsh words. Finally she was able to make out the slight rustle of turning pages, and knew exactly where he would be found. Peering through the archway, she watched his figure in the faint flickering candlelight. The soft glow causing the slick muscles of his back to glisten. His shoulders wide and strong tapering to his thin waist and his wonderful ass just below. The slight jiggle to his bubble made her mouth water. Smiling she recognized fading welts her nails had left behind a few days before. Lifting up the dark fabric that covered her she observed his purple handiwork across her skin, both their bodies exhibiting casualties of lechery, a souvenir.

She began to wonder how much longer this dream would go on. It had been days, the constant rain only helped to blur the passage of time. His once well groomed stubble now almost a full beard from days of neglect. It had been nice to see him relaxed, stripped of the wall his ego had constructed so many years ago. Putting down her tea she joined him, a finger tracing the faint red lines across his skin.

"Why are you always leaving me?" He questioned without even looking up from her pages.

"Maybe I want you to follow."

"You know I'm not very good at other peoples directions."

"You always take directions from my hips very well." With a giggle she circled herself against him. "Maybe you're learning?"

"Maybe."

"I'm tired of you looking through these. I'm right here. If you want something, ask me." She took the book from his hand and stuffed it thoughtlessly back into it's place on the shelf.

"Alright." A quiet smirk grew over his face brought on by her forcefulness. "So, would you have let me be your first?"

"Ahhhh that's what you were reading?" She hated that he knew so far back into her life. The sins of her past on display, and he consumed it all.

"Well, would you?" He was greedy and wanted to own and experience every little piece of her. Reading over her words, her by gone lovers made him jealous of each man that had been there before.

"That all depends... would you be gentle?"

"Yes."

"Would you tell me you loved me?"

"Never."

"Would you remember my name?"

"How could I forget?"

"Then... maybe." Athina saw through his sweet words to the lies that were there just below the surface. But she was content that he had even tried to pretend, tried to hide the truth they both knew. She was glad this was the soul she met first instead of the facade she was enamored with as a teenager.

"Come here." He spoke softly against her cheek. Pulling her back to the bed they never seemed to have left.

"What?"

"Just come here." He lay her down on the mattress gently, fingers surveying each curve, each lovely peak as it formed. "Close your eyes." His fingers no longer content his full lips began to follow behind, leaving soft whispers. "You know I've never told you how beautiful you are."

"Stop." She smiled, her eyes still closed. Blushing slightly at the thought of his words. She felt a heat begin to rise on the back of her neck. Her stomach tightened as his lips fluttered against her skin. Fuck.... She had fallen in love. Losing herself to a temporary lover... this was going to be painful.

"No listen to me. There are a lot of things I want to... wanted to..." His thoughts trailed off, trying to hide his words from her. They had always seemed to falter. Once again he would rely on his body to do the talking.

Cradling her in his lap he eased himself into her slowly. Gasping quietly she took in every stiff inch, her legs wrapping around him as they faced each other. Leaning back on the mattress she began to stroke, her pelvis knocking gently against his, focusing on the feel of him inside her.

"I want you closer to me."

"Always." Athina shook her head dismissing his intentions as clingy platitudes.

"Always." He reaffirmed grasping her hips against his tightly causing his to thrusts deepen unexpectedly.

"Ahhhh, OK." She smiled a quick moan escaping her as she gave into his request. It seemed she also had trouble following someone else's directions. Sitting back up her fingers moved through the dark fur that mingled between them. Following his trail that led up the tensed muscles of his lower abdomen, through the soft patch on his chest. Her knuckles grazed over the lengthened hair on his cheek, wrapping her arms around his neck she brought him closer to her, hips never faulting their steady rhythm.

"I love you, Athina." He knew she hated men who said this during sex, too many variables to pick through she said. But he wanted to tell her, had to let her know just how much she meant to him. Though in this moment those words sounded so alien as if they didn't fit. Her silence concerned him, as her rhythm began to slow. Their bodies had always synced, he following her lead. Yet somehow this time they never seemed to find each other. "Athina..." he called again, no reply. "Athina, tell me you love me." he pleaded wanting only to hear those words fall from her lips. Her hips stopped abruptly, something wasn't right. Usually her body held so much control, walls wrapping around him tightly, in this instance she seemed careless, loose. Not bad, she just felt different as if it wasn't her... it wasn't her. Finally tearing open his eyes he realized he had been asleep all along. Trying to make out her figure in the darkness he reached for a ringlet. As the moonlight flooded through the open window expecting to see Athina, he was blindsided when he took in the features of an unfamiliar face. Reality crashing down, he understood now it was all just a memory, a memory tangled within a dream. Four years... it had been four long years since they had last been together.

"Who the hell is Athina?" The woman that once rode him so vigorously screamed. "I've been with you for 2 days and you can't even remember my name mother fucker...WHAT'S MY NAME!?!?"

A slight nervous gasp escaped him as he tried to search for that little piece of information. The only name, the only face that he could bring forth was of a girl he thought he had finally forgotten. Athina...
____________________________________

Exile

These hills are sandy. Trees are dwarfed here. Crows
Caw dismally in skies of an arid brilliance,
Complain in dusty pine-trees. Yellow daybreak
Lights on the long brown slopes a frost-like dew,
Dew as heavy as rain; the rabbit tracks
Show sharply in it, as they might in snow.
But it's soon gone in the sun — what good does it do?
The houses, on the slope, or among brown trees,
Are grey and shriveled. And the men who live here
Are small and withered, spider-like, with large eyes.

Bring water with you if you come to live here —
Cold tinkling cisterns, or else wells so deep
That one looks down to Ganges or Himalayas.
Yes, and bring mountains with you, white, moon-bearing,
Mountains of ice. You will have need of these
Profundities and peaks of wet and cold.

Bring also, in a cage of wire or osier,
Birds of a golden color, who will sing
Of leaves that do not wither, watery fruits
That heavily hang on long melodious boughs
In the blue-silver forests of deep valleys.

I have now been here — how many years? Years unnumbered.
My hands grow claw-like. My eyes are large and starved.
I brought no bird with me, I have no cistern
Where I might find the moon, or river, or snow.
Some day, for lack of these, I'll spin a web
Between two dusty pine-tree tops, and hang there
Face downward, like a spider, blown as lightly
As ghost of leaf. Crows will caw about me.
Morning and evening I shall drink the dew.

Conrad Potter Aiken