Simon

Shit.

Why the fuck did I kiss her!?! I knew that she wouldn't want to be with me right now and I still did it.

I'm so fucking dumb.

I still felt something though. I hope she did too.

I still miss her a lot and with Tyler there I could hide my feelings but he's gone now.

He is a good guy and I was jealous at the beginning but I was wrong about him.

I know that she probably will never love me again after the shit that I've put her through but I'll always be there for her now. No matter what.

I've learnt that its hard to be just friends with her but its better than not having her in my life at all.

I do still want to hold her. She is so warm and lovely. I want to kiss her until I can't and tell her how much I love her but things don't work like that.

I have to keep my distance until she's ready or let her move on without me.

Timing is everything and if we are too early things will fall apart and if I am too late she will find something else.

My plan is to get closer to her and if she still loves me then we will slowly restart what we once had.

If she doesn't love me then we will be close friends and she will live her life with someone else by her side which will be ok too unless she dates someone that's not good for her.

I've slowly come to the realization that I shouldn't have left.

I was doing it to protect her but I hurt her so bad.

I missed her so bad. I really shouldn't have left but after one of them threatened to kill her while holding a knife against my neck it was the only thing I could think to do to save her.

I was terrified. They took picture of her leaving the house and sent them to me.

I know that this is sort of personal too.

I know exactly who is doing this but the police won't do anything.

Why can't they leave us alone?

I'm tired of it. I just wanted to be with Y/N and live my life but they won't leave us alone.

I'm scared that they might think we're dating and hurt her.

I've been hanging out with her again.

"Simon?" She says in a worried tone.

"Yeah?" I say as I wipe the sleep from my eyes.

"You were crying in your sleep and it scared me" She says quietly.

I sit up and give her a hug.

"I'm ok" I say quietly as she nods. "I'm going to head home. Its pretty late"

"Ok... Bye" She says with a worried look toward me.

It wasn't even late. It was only midnight.

I get my shoes on and walk out to my car.

I sigh as I sit in the drivers seat and buckle myself in.

I drive home and put my keys on the counter when there.

I walk down to JJ's room to tell him what happened but when I got there I saw something that I thought I'd never see.

JJ and Vikk were making out.

"I knew you guys were getting closer but not this close" I smirk as Vikk jumps away from JJ, blushing a deep shade of red and JJ gives me an annoyed huff.

"Fuck off Simon" JJ grumbles.

"I need one of you to help me out" I roll my eyes.

"Ok what's up?" Vikk asks.

"I kissed Y/N and the whole night was awkward" I say.

"Did she kiss you back?" Vikk asks and I nod.

"She still likes you. Let her figure it out and she'll come to you. Don't push her away and don't let her push you away" Vikk says.

I nod my head again and promise not to tell anyone about their relationship as I leave the room.

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7:05pm

A/N

I have school tomorrow... Ew

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