Ocean's POV

Michael and I are at the hospital waiting for someone to come back with the results. DJ started breathing again after a few seconds, but in those few seconds it was as if time had frozen. Neither of us have spoken a word since we rushed him here. All I can do is stand a stare at DJ as he sleeps. I hear a sniffling sound  and turn seeing Michael crying and trembling. "He's ok" I whisper shakily "I thought it happing all over again" croaks with tears running down his face. I don't say anything but start chocking up and begin weeping all once again as the flash backs of the day he was born come flooding back. We thought we'd lost him that day and when I saw him stop breathing I thought we were gonna lose him. He pulls me close to him and I hold on to him tightly and break down in his arms.

We break away as the door slowly opens and my aunt Sherri comes in holding some notes and we both rush over to her "Is he gonna be ok?" Michael asks her. "He's...oh my god!" She gasps looking at me "Ocean what's happened to your face!?" she gasps placing her hand on my cheek. I push her hand away quickly with force "IS OUR SON GONNA BE OK!!!?" a yell. She jumps slightly take. "he, um...he's gonna gonna be fine" she stutters "so what happened to him!?" Michael snaps "he had a form of sleep apnea. It very common with babies that are premature" she says shakily taken aback from us yelling. "It's when the brain in away forgets to breath for a moment" she tries to explain "will this happen again?" I ask "it's possible but it could also have been a one time thing. You'll need to keep a check on him and if he stops breathing for more than a few seconds or he begins to turn blue then you should call the emergency straight away" she starts explaining to us about some sensor things we can get that an alarm goes if he stops breathing or if his heart isn't beating right. And after giving us as much information as she can she's about to leave the room then stops looking over at me "what happened to your eye?" She asks me again and I turn frowning at her becoming annoyed "fuck my eye!" I snap "your job is to worry about my son not my fucking face!" she puts her head down and sighs "that doesn't mean I don't still worry about you...just like your parents..." I shake my head in disbelief cutting her off. "Fine! I slipped and fell ok!? End of!" I turn away from her going back over to DJ and she leaves the room not saying another word.

*
Michael's POV

When Sherri leaves I look over at Ocean. "Why didn't you tell her the truth?" I mumble "I've gotten pretty good at lying and hiding things" she mumbles under her breath then turns to me "and right now I don't care about that" she says coldly and turns away from me again. "There's a machine at the end of the corridor I'll go get us coffee and let everyone know what's going on with DJ" I mutter sensing that she wants to be alone for a moment. She nods but doesn't say anything. I go into the waiting room and let my parents know what's going on and they head straight for DJs room.

I'm on my way back with the coffee's and Joseph stops me. "Come sit down" he motions me to the chairs in the corridor. "That must have been a real shock for you both, especially after what happened" he says softly pursing his lips. "I thought we were gonna lose him" I croak tearing up again. "He's gonna be ok" he reassures me "just like you were when it happened to you" I look at him confused "I stopped breathing"

"Many times...you were a fucker for doing it" he chuckles slightly under his breath. "We'd put you down and once you were in a deep sleep you keep forgetting to breath" I frown facing him surprised "you never told me about that" he sighs and goes quiet for a moment "because I try not to think about it, it was the most terrifying thing I've ever been through in my life and the thought of losing one of you..." He pauses and wipes a tear from his eye "I've always love you kids even though I didn't show it...I know I was hardest on you all but I did try to be affectionate and care for you like you mother but every time I tried with each one of you but every time I messed it up" he croaks looking at the ground. "Could never put your diapers on right, I'd feed you's and you's would scream because it was to hot. If I bathed you's the water was to cold...then I'd give up...9 kids an every time I'd mess it up" he laughs slightly under his breath. "I'm sorry I was so hard on you kids. And I was the worst on you" I start choking up hearing him speak this way "why were you so hard on me?" He doesn't answer for a moment "because you were different. You were so protective of Randy and Janet you would always take the blame anytime they'd do something you knew I would beat them for you always took the blame"

"I just did what the others did" I shrug and he shakes his head. "No you didn't, the second that first hit came the others would rat each other out but you? You never would. Like when Randy broke the ornament"

"You knew it was Randy?" He nods "then why did you..." He cuts me off "because I wanted to see how long it would take you to rat him about...but you didn't" I look at the ground remembering that day. But you never did. not once did you try to rat him out. And with Janet I went to hit her once you threw a shoes at me. Do you remember? You threw a shoe at me then grabbed Janet and ran like hell" I giggle slightly "I wasn't gonna come back" he chuckles slightly" then sighs. "And I know what I've done to you  kids is unforgivable but I do love you"

"We've never doubted that for a second and I forgive for all of it" I mumble trying not to cry. He shakes his head "you shouldn't. I should have been a better father and I can never forgive myself for what I did to you that day" I frown confused as he continues "you didn't do anything wrong. You were getting bad grades at school but instead of helping you like I should have I beat you..." He pauses shaking "You were on the floor crying and bleeding and still I kept whipping you with my belt" he breaks down in tears and I look at he ground guiltily remembering that day. It was the same day me and Ocean lost our virginity to each other and it was the same day I first hurt her. "And I'm so sorry for that" he croaks bringing me from my thought "we've all done bad things" I mumble under my breath "nobody could have possibly done anything worst to someone they love that I did to you that day" he sobs "it's breaks my heart when I see you with Duncan...the way you are with him. So affectionate and loving. 9 kids and I never got it right but you? You got right the first time and I wish I could have been half the father you are" I look at him in shock for a moment at what he just said "I just wish I had the chance to do it all over again"

"but you have that 2nd chance...with DJ... I see how you are with DJ" I tell him "I see how loving and caring you are to him your a great grandfather and he loves you" I smile through pursed lips "and I love him more than too. More than anything....Ocean and Duncan are so lucky to have a father and husband that loves as much as you do" he smiles through pursed lips "I was the lucky one" I mumble "was?" He asks tilting his head confused "I've lost them....Ocean's leaving me I'm not this great father and husband you think I am" I sob "she's not gonna leave you, she loves you" he tries to reassure me "she is...and I don't blame her. Her and DJ deserve so much better" I croak and he puts his arm around me "your meant to be...the 3 of you are meant to be" pulls me in tightly "I don't know what's happened but if I can get a second chance with DJ then the 3 of you can have a second chance" he smiles through pursed lips "you can fix this. so whatever it is you need to do...go do it before it's to late."

***
Sherri's POV

After Michael left the room I tried to go back and talk to Ocean but she just refused to even look at me and I don't blame her for how we've treated her. But we do still love her and regret everyday the way we've treated her. After trying and failing once again to talk to Ocean I start walking to my next patient. When I get around the corner I see Michael. I look on watching him confused as he's writing something down and keep looking at some posters on the wall. As I'm walking over he finishes what he was writing and turns folding up the piece of paper and he stops when he sees me. "What are you doing out here?" I ask softly. And he frowns putting the folded up paper in his pocket. "the fuck has it got to do with you!?" He snaps and carries on walking and goes back into the room where Ocean and Duncan are. I go over to the board to see what he was copying down. and stand frozen reading the posters.

*
Ocean's POV

While DJ is sleeping I sit in a chair beside his bed and wonder where Michael had gotten to when he finally come back. "What took you so long?" He comes over and puts a chair in front of me so we're sitting face to face looking worried. "Has something happened to DJ?" He asks shakily looking at him "he's fine. Just sleeping. We can bring him home in the morning" I smile and he sighs in relief "did you forget something" I asks and he looks at me confused "coffee?"

"I got something even better" he smiles slightly through pursed lips taking putting his hand in his pocket "it's a little late to propose" I say sarcastically "it's not that" he rolls his eyes "but I would marry you all over again. I got this" I look at him confused "you got me a snap of paper" he shakes his head "I meant what I said about changing and doing anything to keep you" I look away from him trying not to start crying all over again "you say that now but..." He cuts me of "and I mean it look. I got it outside there are people that can help us" he shows me the paper with some phone numbers on it "we can get marriage counselling and there's another other one that helps people with anger problem like me and..." He pauses for a moment "and for people who have been victims of abuse" he mumbles guiltily then looks up "I swore to you that I'll change and get help and I meant it and I will" he mutters then cups my face in his hands "I'm begging you. please don't leave me" I look at him for a moment and I can see the fear and heartbreak in his eyes "please, give me a 2nd chance" he pleads shakily and the tears begin falling from he's eyes. "Michael, if you ever..." He cuts me off shaking his head "I won't. I swear.....Please stay with me" he croaks. I try and stop the tears from escaping but they begins rolling down my cheeks and I nod and he sighs in relief pulling me close "thank you"