"Do you know how much thinking and feeling I've done? It's terrible. And nothing's come of it."

—Andrei Platonov, Happy Moscow

The sun cracked into a thousand shards, dusting the sky with fire, as if wiping away all the sorrows that the night had brought with her. I sucked in a breath as I looked on in awe. I'd seen countless sunrises, yet they always seemed to take my breath away, each one more beautiful than the last.

"It's perfect," Hailey whispered, reaching for my hand.

I made a face and pulled my hand away. "Too mushy, Red."

She punched me on the arm and uncrossed her legs. "I'm just trying to do my part to thaw that frozen heart of yours," she shrugged innocently.

I laughed and gently rocked the swing that I was seated on. "Are you buying into idle gossip now?" I asked, amusement seeping into my voice.

"No, I'm simply stating facts," she corrected. "You're cold, you've always been cold, and if you don't let a little warmth into your life, you'll always be cold."

As if on cue, a cool breeze touched my cheeks and neck. I ignored the hairs prickling on my arm and rolled my eyes. "Where did you hear that?" I teased. "Because I know you didn't think of that on your own. Wait a minute, have you been talking to my ex's again?"

She groaned and rose to her feet, shoving me before going into the house. I didn't follow her. Instead, I pulled my legs up and hugged them, staring once more at the sky. The transformation was almost complete, but I was still awestruck at its beauty.

I know, I know. I totally didn't strike you as the nature type and that's partially true, because for the most part I'm not. If someone asked me to choose between spending a day in the great outdoors, and sitting on the couch, eating pizza while binge watching Friends, I'd choose number two without any hesitation. But there are a few times when there's nothing that I'd rather do than spend a few hours (okay, minutes) just to sit and appreciate my surroundings. There is so much beauty around us, but we're often too busy to take notice.

Speaking of beauty, I had an appointment at the salon in a few hours. One that I was not looking forward to. My hairdresser, a leggy blonde with all the right curves in all the right places, was always complaining about something or the other that was wrong with her not-so-perfect life, which— in case you hadn't already guessed— annoyed me to no end. It was a torture that I endured every couple of months to attain a semi-presentable appearance to the public for the sake of humanity.

I know. I'm such a selfless person.

Besides, my mother would probably have a heart attack if I ever decided to just let nature take its course when it came to my hair.

I was trying to decide whether I should add highlights to my brown locks or just change the color entirely when I heard a car door slam.

"Hello, gorgeous," Jamie drawled, walking up the driveway.

"Who let you out of your cage?" I asked, rising to my feet.

He clutched his heart. "You wound me so!"

"Jamie's here?" Hailey asked, reappearing on the porch.

I let out a loud sigh and grabbed her by the arm before she made a run for him. "No!" I told her, pointing to the swing. "Stay."

"I'm not a puppy," she muttered, but took a seat anyway.

By this point Jamie was a few inches away from me. He watched me with silent amusement before he gave me a wide smile.

"What?"

"You're beautiful. Even with no makeup on and wearing those ridiculous jammies," he whispered.

I sighed and stared at the sky. "Why Lord? Why?"

He ignored my comment and glanced at Hailey. "Hey."

She gave him a finger salute and glared at me. "There's a certain kind of tension in the air," she smirked. "I'm going inside now. Try to keep your hands off of each other okay?"

"Okay!"

Jamie chuckled and I faced him, sighing again. "What do you want O'Connor?"

He gave me a genuine smile. "Breakfast at dawn like old times."

I stared at him as though he'd just grown two heads. There was no way that I'd heard correctly. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Breakfast. At. Dawn," he repeated, enunciating each word clearly.

I folded my arms across my chest and stared at him. "It's just going to be an awkward hour if I agree, so let's just keep our memories as they are okay?"

"Our memories aren't all that great," he defended.

"Well maybe that's why you left," I muttered but before he could respond I waved my hand in the air and forced a laugh. "C'mon, Jamie, let's forget about all of that and move on."

"That's just it Taylor, I don't want to forget," he said earnestly. "I miss you and I miss our friendship. You can't tell me that you don't miss me too."

"I've had three years to miss you," I replied with a small smile. I wasn't trying to hurt him, but I needed him to understand. "Our friendship ended when you took off."

I expected him to walk away or cry (okay fine, the crying bit was a lie) but instead he leaned in closer and whispered. "I'm not giving up on us. You promised me forever―"

"And you broke it," I finished for him. "Seriously, O'Connor. Give it up."

***

Three hours later I found myself sitting in my car outside the salon, trying to gather enough strength to get through the next two hours. "Okay, I'm ready," I said to the empty car ten minutes later. "Let's do this."

"Taylor!" Robin squealed when I walked in. "You're early."

She ushered me into a chair and pulled my hair out of its ponytail.

Eager are we?

"What are we doing this time?" she asked, running her fingers through my hair. "It doesn't need to be washed so maybe we can just add a few loose curls?"

I suggested dip dying it with a caramel hue before adding the curls.

"Who's the guy?" Robin asked while she got to work on my hair. She had me put on a haircutting apron before securing a towel around my neck.

"Why do you assume there's a guy?" I asked her, while she mixed the contents of the pre-lighting kit in a container.

She then began to comb my hair, pausing to detangle some parts before sectioning it off into pieces. "Because you hardly ever change your hairstyle, so for you this is monumental," was her response.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, come on! Why is it that whenever a girl does something nice for herself, people automatically assume that it has to be about a guy?"

"Most of the changes that I've made were for someone else," she said matter-of-factly. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. My guy said that he prefers blondes, so I happily accommodated his wishes."

You're a damn fool, Robin Mackintosh. A damn fool.

"Lately things haven't been so good between us," she confessed.

"Why? Is your hair not to his liking?" I asked with mock sincerity.

"That's just it!" she cried, throwing her hands in the air―seemingly oblivious to the curious glances thrown her way by the other ladies in the salon. "I've done everything that he's asked and he's still unhappy. I don't know what to do."

"It's pretty simple," I informed her. "Dump him and throw his shit in the dumpster."

She laughed as she applied the bleach, but I was dead serious. Why stay with someone like that? He was probably never going to be happy with her and that's most likely because he wasn't happy with himself. Pretty soon she'll be looking at herself in the mirror and wondering who the stranger staring back at her was and by then it might be too late.

"I can't leave him," she sighed. "My Dad and his Dad are business partners. Ending our relationship would be detrimental to my family. How can I disappoint them?"

It's pretty easy actually, my idiot brain supplied.

She covered the ends of each section of my hair in aluminum foil and set a timer.

I used this opportunity to use the ladies room and get away from her relationship issues. I wasn't such a horrible person that I didn't care about it, but I wasn't about to offer any more advice on what she ought to do, because most likely she won't take it and the next time that I dared to get my hair done she'll be telling me the story of how he popped the question. It was entirely a waste of time.

"Are you ready?" Robin asked when I retook my seat.

I nodded and she got to work undoing the foil wrappings before turning my chair in the direction of the sink to rinse the bleach out. When she was finished she sectioned off my hair again before applying the caramel colored dye to the bleached parts of my hair.

"How are things with you?" she asked while she worked.

"Fantastic," I chuckled. "Couldn't be better."

"Mhmm," she murmured distractedly while covering the ends of my hair once more in foil.

After leaving it for half an hour she removed the foil and then rinsed and conditioned the ends of my hair before adding loose curls to complete my new look. "Do you like it?" she asked excitedly.

I stared at myself in the mirror and nodded. "It's perfect."

She grinned and I removed the towel from my neck and took off the apron. "You look simply divine," she giggled.

I rolled my eyes at the compliment and paid her. "Thank you Robin. I'll see in a few months."

"I want you back here in no less than two," she reprimanded me as I was almost through the door.

"Don't hold your breath," I called behind me.

Back in the car I texted Hailey to tell her about my new hairstyle. She responded less than a minute later. Now this I have to see!

I chuckled and shoved the phone in my bag before starting the car. Since I was filling in for Millie for another week I decided to swing by the bookstore.

"What are you doing here?" Connie asked when I walked in. "Its Saturday remember?" She caught sight of my hair and rewarded me with a huge smile. "You look amazing!" she gushed.

"Thank you, thank you," I said curtsying.

"What prompted this?" she asked, examining my hair. When she tugged on a strand I slapped her hand away.

"Behave," I scolded her.

She laughed and I shook my head. "How long until closing time?"

"About an hour. It's a bit slow today."

I nodded and made my way to the employee lounge, deciding to stick around. I grabbed my nametag and took up my post behind the counter.

***

"Who picked out your clothes?" Hailey asked me later that night as we were preparing to leave the house. "A blind guy who hates you?"

"Jealous much?" I asked as I clasped a bracelet around my wrist.

"Pshk! No way."

"Really, now?"

"Really, really," she nodded and grabbed my car keys. "I'm driving."

I collected my purse and dropped my phone, makeup, some cash and a small bottle of perfume inside. What? I'd like to be smelling nice in the event that I happen to meet my soul mate.

"I still can't believe you're wearing that," Hailey muttered while I locked the door.

"You bought me this outfit," I reminded her, glancing down at the almond colored knee length dress and then at my nude stiletto heels. "No need to be mad because I look hotter than you."

She snorted and unlocked the car before climbing into the driver's seat.

"Why are you being so bitchy?" I asked her when she pulled out of the driveway. "You've been like this all night. Is it your idiot boyfriend?"

"Stop calling him that," she admonished me. "And we broke up months ago. You know that."

"You're still sleeping with him," I replied gazing out the window.

"That's irrelevant."

"How so?"

I heard her sigh and then a pop song started playing. "Drop it."

"Drop it," I mimicked, but did as she requested.

An hour later we parked behind a neat row of cars and walked the short distance to our destination.

"I don't understand why I had to come," Hailey muttered as we were about to ring the doorbell.

"You were invited, doofus!" I hissed.

A balding man opened the door and ushered us into the foyer of the gigantic house. I stared at the paintings on the wall and wondered for the millionth time why anyone would waste thousands of dollars to have paint splotches hung on their wall. The amount of food that could have been bought with that money was limitless.

"Taylor. Hailey," a familiar voice greeted us and I turned to face the front.

"Eloise," I grinned. "It's so good to see you."

"Likewise," she said, giving first Hailey and then me a hug. "I've missed you guys."

Meet Eloise Jenkins, ex-captain of the cheer squad and leader of the rumor mill. She was decked out in a simple sequined blue evening dress with slits at both sides that ran from her knees to her ankles. For the most part, I liked Eloise, even if it was only from a distance.

"Likewise," I copied her.

She laughed and led the way to the dining room where her other guests were already seated. I took a seat next to Hailey and surveyed the smiling faces. Most of them I recognized from High School but there were a few others that were probably her friends from college. I scowled when my eyes landed on Katie sitting at the far end of the table, and she gave me a warm smile.

"You're in the wrong seat," Eloise whispered in my ear.

I glanced at her and she motioned to the empty seat beside Katie. "You've gotta be shitting me," I muttered.

"Hailey, you too," she continued, still whispering. "You're seated beside Jack, he's a buddy of mine from college and I really think that you two will hit it off."

I didn't have time to see who this Jack person was before she offered me her hand to help me out of my seat. Reluctantly, I obliged her and took the seat beside Katie.

"Hi," she said softly.

I ignored her.

"You look lovely," she continued. "I love what you've done with your hair. Now you're twice as beautiful."

"I know," I replied and raised my glass to the guy with the wine bottle. I was going to need way more than wine to get me through this night.

It's a widely known fact that women and wine go together like melted chocolate and strawberries, but I needed a bottle of Xanax. Like yesterday.

"Okay, everyone!" Eloise beamed. "I know that you're probably wondering why I've invited you all here."

It's crossed my mind once or twice.

"Well, I have an announcement to make and I wanted you all to be here to celebrate my big night with me," she continued, her smile widening―if that was even possible. "My boyfriend of four wonderful years, Zach―" she paused and waited for him to join her. "Asked me to do him the honor of becoming his wife!" she squealed. "And of course I said yes!"

I rolled my eyes while everyone else clapped and offered their congratulations to the smiling bride-to-be.

Here we go again.