One-Shot #11: Claire isn't as Strong as She Thinks She is
I looked over at Wanda from my seat at the table and watched her curiously as red mist twirled around her hands. Her fingers twitched and danced, waving the mist around and out towards a glass at the end of the island. The misty red tendrils wrapped around the glass and Wanda smiled as she waved her fingers, lifting the glass from the counter slowly. Her focus was strong as she stared at the glass, watching it rise and rise. She then stopped it and waved her fingers on her other hand, enveloping it in a soft scarlet bubble, and then she started to twirl it around in a slow moving circle that picked up speed after each time around.
I stared in amazement, never really seeing Wanda's powers, except whenever they were engaged in fight. I never had the time to be amazed or marvel at the beauty of her powers, so when I watched her practice her magic on the glass, I couldn't keep myself from clapping which snapped Wanda out of her concentration, causing the floating glass to crash to the ground shattering loudly. My hands flew up to cover her mouth and my eyes widened as Wanda's shoulders slumped and she let out a sighing huff.
"I'm so sorry," I said. Wanda shrugged but didn't look at me. Instead she stared at the spot where the glass fell leaving behind a cluster of broken glass shards and huffed again.
I moved from my seat and walked over to the hook where the broom sat, grabbed it, and then moved to sweep up the glass all while Wanda didn't move or even blink. Dumping the shards in the trash, I hung the broom back up and walked over to Wanda, placing a hand on her shoulder, startling her.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," she said shrugging again. I frowned, not convinced, and moved my arms to circle around her but let out a little whine when she stepped out of my embrace and started pacing the floor, looking down.
"Wanda, what's going on?" I tried again to engage her, but instead she ignored me and muttered to herself as she kept pacing, her hands reaching up to grasp at her hair. Her eyebrows knitted together and her nostrils flared and her chest heaved as her breathing picked up and red energy sparked from her fists. I walked over to her and grasped her shoulders, stopping her from pacing, and moved a hand under her chin to force it up to look at me. "Wanda. Snap out of it."
Wanda blinked and the red energy disappeared, though she still pulled away from me. My wolf whined and growled at the loss of contact and I frowned; something was wrong with her, and it hurt me that she wouldn't talk to me about it. The hurt soon changed to frustration and anger as my wolf snapped the reigns from me, coming to the surface.
"Jesus Christ Wanda, what is going on? Why are you acting so weird?"
Wanda's eyes snapped towards me, her eyebrows knitted together and a frown on her face. Her usual green eyes held the faint dusting of scarlet in them, but seeing my eyes, hers returned to their normal green. I felt my wolf recede and I looked at Wanda with sadness, my heart aching. Technically, this was our first fight.
"I'm sorry. I'm the one acting weird now, it's just...Wanda, I'm worried about you. I know something is bothering you, and I wish you could talk to me. I feel helpless when you don't talk to me; it's like you don't trust me, which you would think by now you'd be able to do. So, what's going on? Are you feeling smothered? Do you want space? Because I'll give you space. I'll do whatever you want, just talk to me," I pleaded, tears welling in my eyes and the painful familiar lump forming in my throat. I tried not to fully breakdown, but I heard my voice crack about halfway through my begging.
Wanda still stared at me in silence, though her facial expression softened and her eyes no longer held the terrifying red hue. Looking at her, watching her look at me not saying, broke the dam. The tears in my eyes rolled down my cheeks as I tried to bite back the sob that built up in my chest. I was confused and hurt and angry and afraid. Granted, Wanda was never big on sharing her feelings, but usually when I asked her what was wrong, she told me. I don't know what happened or what changed to make her clam up and keep things from me, but it hurt my feelings because it was like she didn't trust me anymore, which only confused me more because, I didn't do anything to break her trust. Right? I don't think I did. All this confusion only made me angrier because I didn't do anything, damnit! Whatever was going on was all on her and not me, and therefore, I shouldn't be too bothered by it. If she didn't want to talk, fine! She doesn't have to and that's fine! She can keep everything all bottled up and then when she needs release, she'll come begging to me. But what if she didn't come begging? What if...she's acting this way as a way to tell me...that it's over? No, no, no, that's not it. No, don't even think that; she loves you and doesn't want to leave you. But...what if she does...?
Through my inner ranting, I hadn't noticed that Wanda crossed the floor and stood directly in front of me, placing both hands on either side of my face and staring directly into my tear-stained eyes. One of her hands caressed my face and ran down the length of my hair, twirling a few strands around her fingers, all the while her eyes never left mine. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw the light red mist dancing around the side of my face and I felt her in my mind. I closed my eyes and leaned into her touch in defeat while she listened to my thoughts, my doubts, my fears. I heard her sniffle and when I opened my eyes, tears sat in her green eyes and rolled down her cheeks. I wiped them away and pressed a soft kiss against her forehead.
"Claire, I'm so sorry," she whispered, pulling out of my mind. "Are you really afraid that I'll leave you?"
I couldn't trust my voice to speak, so I only nodded out a reply, finally breaking and releasing the pent up sob. My body crumbled and collapsed down onto the cold hardwood floor, my head resting in my arms that were propped up by my legs. Wanda sat down beside me and pulled me into her lap, wrapping her arms around me like how Jemma or myself do when she breaks down, and played with my hair as she let me cry in her arms. I held her tight to me, afraid she'll let me go and leave, and pressed my face into her chest, muffling my cries in the fabric of her shirt.
"It's okay, Claire. It's okay. Hey Claire, look at me. Look at me, baby," she said in a gentle voice as she tried to pry my face and hands off her.
She wiped my tears away and kissed my cheeks, never once letting her hands leave my face. She offered me a small smile and kissed my nose. My sobbing had stopped and had settled down to silent tears that continued to fall and the trembling breath that shook my whole body.
"Claire, I'm not going to leave you, okay? I'm not. We've been through too much for me to turn back now. I love you more than anything and I know you feel the same, so I can promise you that I will go through hell before I let you go. A love like ours can't be dissolved so easily."
I sniffled and wiped my eyes, looking at her, hearing her confidence. She was so sure. Did she have these same insecurities as I did?
"It's okay, baby."
"Are...are you mad at me?" I asked. I cringed at the sound of my voice. It was dry and hoarse and hurt when I spoke. Wanda leaned her forehead against mine and brushed her nose against mine.
"What do you think?" she asked, her voice hinting at light humor.
"Am I clingy? Are you tired of me?" My voice wavered as I felt a fresh set of tears come to my eyes. Wanda's arms tightened around me and her fingers traced comforting patterns on my back.
"I will never ever be tired of you, dušica (sweetheart). You are not clingy, and even if you were, so am I. So we're stuck with each other...and I wouldn't have it any other way," Wanda said as she kissed me lightly.
"Would you tell me if you ever got tired of me?"
"No." I visibly panicked, but Wanda stopped me as she continued saying, "Because it will never happen. You have no idea what you do to me dušica. You make life worth living for me. You make me feel alive. You make me feel strong. You make me feel...normal. So, no Claire, I will never be tired of you because being tired of you is being tired of all the things that I get from you, and I'm not ready—nor will I ever be ready—to let those things or you go."
I rested my head back on Wanda's chest and relaxed in her comforting embrace. We sat on the floor, her holding me, for about an hour and never once did she complain or protest. She just continued to hold me, every so often readjusting her grip on me when I would move to get comfortable. Wanda placed delicate kissed along my face, neck, and head in between her comforting phrases and words of adoration. She told me she loved me and promised that she would always be there for me, just like how I do for her. I don't know when exactly, but eventually I fell asleep in her arms and she gently helped me off the floor and guided me to our room, where she helped lay me down on the bed and tucked me in.
I felt the bed dip beside me and the familiar feeling of Wanda's fingers running through my hair. A small smile graced my sleepy lips and I heard Wanda let out a quiet chuckle before her lips connected with my cheek.
"Sleep well, dušica."Wanda pulled my body back to her and held me tightly and she gave my head onemore kiss before settling into sleep herself. "Toliko te volim, dušo (I loveyou so much, baby girl)".
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