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Love

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Chapter 43: Love (Christian's POV)

Nothing has ever torn my heart out the way watching Jules crying that night did. She asked me to give her five minutes by herself but I lingered by the staircase. The last thing I wanted was for her to hurt but it all happened so quickly and in the end, I got what I wanted just not the way I wanted it. 

"Maybe you should be sober for this conversation," I said to her. 

"I'm sober enough," she replied, "enough to try to understand you. Everything fell apart so quickly, I don't even know why." 

"I never wanted to hurt you," I sighed, "if I didn't do what I had to, I could have lost you forever." 

She shook her head softly. "I don't understand." 

"I don't want you to think that I was with you for some type of ulterior motive. I never planned to fall in love with you when I met you and you being Josh's sister and Luke's daughter while your Dad's company and mine were clashing just made that even more certain. As it is, my father hated that you were Audrey's friend. I had to stay away from you. I was practically ordered to." I held her gaze, taking in the tiny frown on her face. "But I couldn't." 

Her brows twitched up. 

"It didn't matter that I was supposed to hate you. Once I met you, I couldn't get enough. Staying away from you is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, every single time. I always said that I would never cross that line with you, to me, you were just Audrey's friend. But then you showed up to work for me. You didn't care about whatever competition was between our parents, you wanted to work with me." 

"Because you were and still are amazing at your job. I've always respected that, regardless of everything else." 

"And sometimes, I think you're the only one who does," I chuckled softly. "Once you started working with me, we were always together, and hating you became impossible. I couldn't keep hiding how I felt about you and I was tired of lying to myself about it. I wanted you, I've always wanted you. Telling you that and kissing you that night is the best thing I've ever done. Everything was great, you know it was." 

She nodded softly in agreement. 

"Until my father found out when I took you to meet them for dinner." 

"Your parents weren't exactly fond of me, I know," she shrugged. 

"The difference was, he kept those opinions to himself until we were engaged. After that, I don't know what happened, but he was determined to pull us apart. He said he wouldn't let you work with me anymore." 

"But that's not so bad, Christian. We were engaged and even if that was allowed on paper, people would question all my accomplishments." 

"I don't care what people say, Jules. He does. When I told you that, you understood it, just how you're understanding it now, so you agreed to work somewhere else. We moved in together, and we were happy. I was happy with you and he hated it." 

"What do you mean?" 

"My father knows the worst kind of people in this world. The ones who are unbelievably dangerous and kill people for a living. It was what I grew up around while we were still in Russia. He was friends with all the wrong people and he cut ties with them when we moved here but I'm sure he still knows how to ask for favors when he needs them. Audrey doesn't know this, she never has because she was a lot younger when we moved here. I didn't know too much either for the longest time, he kept that part of his life away from us and our mother. But when she found out, she left him. And when I found out, he was using it against me. Against you." 

"Me?" she asked in surprise. 

I nodded with a sigh. "It was easy for him, he didn't like you or your family very much to begin with. He kept telling me to break it off with you, to get away from you, to get you out of my life for good. When he realized it wasn't what I wanted and I wouldn't obey him as he demanded, he lost his goddamn mind. He threatened to take everything from me. Everything I had ever worked for, the company, the position I was working towards. And you. 

"If I didn't leave you, he threatened to hurt you and your family if he needed to. I never believed him, not until he had someone follow you around one day. He sent me pictures of you, you were going about your day like nothing was wrong while someone armed was following you around and neither one of us even knew it." 

She stared at me in shock. "H-he had someone follow me?" 

"The danger became too real, I was horrified at every minute of the day that he would hurt you. I truly didn't have a choice if I wanted to keep you safe. I thought there was nothing I could do, so I agreed. But I couldn't leave you. I thought... maybe it would be easier for you to hate me." 

She drew back and took a breath, sliding off to sit beside me. "So you started to distance yourself and push me out," she stated. 

"I thought if you stopped loving me then you would leave willingly and he wouldn't hurt you." 

"But I couldn't stop loving you," she sighed. 

"And I started ruining what we had." 

"Christian, why didn't you tell me?" 

"He would have had you killed if you knew, Jules." I turned to her. "It was too dangerous, I couldn't put your life on the line. Staying away from me was safer for you and if it wasn't such a severe situation, I never would have done it. If your life wasn't at risk, I would have kept you by my side and done anything to protect you. But I had no idea what we were dealing with. I couldn't do anything, I was too weak to save you." 

"Don't do that, don't put this on yourself. You were doing what you thought was right for me, you were keeping me safe." 

"I know I hurt you a lot and I'm really sorry. There's nothing I regret more." 

She held my eyes, nodding softly, "I know." 

"After you left, he swore he'd leave you alone. He knows you're still friends with Audrey but what bothered him was that your Dad is his biggest rival and you, his daughter, had me wrapped around your finger. He thought you were using me to ruin us from the inside out. He's fucking deranged, he thought too far into the situation and fell back into his old ways of threatening and hurting people. I just didn't want it to be you, I had to get you out of that." 

"I just wish you would have told me, we would have figured something out," she exhaled. 

"There wasn't any time. But I was going to come back for you, Jules. I was always going to come back to you." 

"You did come back for me," she replied. 

"I hardly had to, I thank this universe every fucking day for bringing you back into my life." 

"And this time things will be different?" she asked hesitantly. 

I nodded. "It took the past year for me to get the company completely under my control, to get every shareholder to surrender their shares to me and leave until I had enough to overpower him. It took the past year for me to find the kind of people he knows, to make allies who would help me." 

"Christian, please don't tell me you're involved with the wrong kind of people too," she pleaded. 

"He's a friend." 

"Who is it?" 

"Jules..." 

"Is it a guy?" 

"Yeah," I nodded. 

"Do I know him?" 

"You've met him once or twice." 

"I've met him?!" Her eyes widened. 

"He's a lawyer." 

"For the mafia?" 

I hesitated, "In a way... yes." 

She blinked in shock and stared at the ground. "Is it... Logan Ivan Markov?" Her eyes narrowed before she slowly turned to me. "Your friend from college that's a lawyer? He's the only person I can think of." 

"Jules, you don't need to know who it is. What matters is—" 

"You have a friend in the mafia, you think I don't want to know who it is? Think again. Is it Logan Markov?" 

"Yes," I huffed in defeat. 

"Yes, it's Logan. But that's not the point here." 

She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye but dropped the subject. "So... if your Dad or anyone he knows tries to do anything to me Logan will have it taken care of?" 

"Yes." 

"Himself?" 

"At times. Sometimes, it's people he knows. The man has disappeared again." 

"Again?" 

"He leaves the city as he pleases and comes back unannounced. But I trust him to help me." 

"And he'll do it for free?" 

"No. He owes me." 

"Owes you what?" 

"His life." 

She stared at me. "I'm utterly confused." 

"I saved him once. When people he trusted turned on him and wanted him dead, he came to me." 

"And why would he come to you?" 

"Because I'm... good with knives?" 

Pausing, she pinched the bridge of her nose. "Logan isn't the only man you know in that world, is it?" 

"No," I answered honestly. 

"How are you involved with these people?" 

"There are one too many of them in New York paying me a lot of money for my buildings, but that's it, Milaya. I know what I know by being invited to parties." 

"You're on the inside?" 

"More or less." 

She let out a heavy sigh and fell back on the bed. "You're practically in the mafia." 

"Maybe." 

Jules looked at me. 

"I can't say yes or no," I shrugged. 

"You definitely are," she mumbled, sitting back up. "So, Logan will help you protect me if anything ever happens because he owes you a favor?" 

"Yes. On top of that, I have all the authority I could at Lukov Empires and Estates. He's got nothing on me now. I'm finally free." 

"Free to do what you want?" 

"Free to love you," I replied. "I do love you, Jules. Even today, every day for the rest of my life, I will only love you. It's never been anyone else." 

Silence fell upon us for a few moments. "You still love me?" she then asked. 

"I do," I answered honestly. "Do you?" 

She stared off into space. "Oh my God, you're in the mafia."

"Jules!" 

She turned to me, wide-eyed. "Let me process!" 

"I'm not in the fucking mafia, quit it, please. I've just given buildings to people who are." 

"You've been to mafia parties!" she gasped, moving back on the bed and tucking her legs under the covers. "Have you been to their weird parties too?" 

"What weird parties?" 

"Don't they have weird sex club parties?" 

"What?" I laughed, staring at her in confusion. "Sex club parties? No!" I scooted back on the bed and lay beside her. "Where did you hear that?" 

"I don't know," she laughed softly, watching me. "That's insane, Christian." 

"They're people too, just... crazier." 

She chuckled, her eyes drooping shut as she blinked. 

I turned the lights off and pulled her in closer. "I really hope you remember all this tomorrow. I don't know how to tell you again." 

"That you're in the mafia?" she mumbled against me sleepily. 

"Jules," I warned. 

She giggled, kissing my neck quickly. "I'll remember. I'll try, I promise." 

"Please," I whispered, "just remember tonight."

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Chapter 43

I hope nobody was expecting that mafia moment cuz I wanted to add a little surprise lmaoo

Logan Ivan Markov... remember that name besties

next ch: secrets