SHOUTOUT TO MY GIRL -wayfarer FOR WINNING THE FAN ART CONTEST OVER AT MY BOOK "EPISTLE"! GREAT JOB!

I stare into the mirror at my reflection.

I'm completely and utterly disgusted with myself.

"What is wrong with me?" I ask the person looking back at me, red hair cascading down my back and blue eyes staring unblinkingly at me.

My cheeks looks flushed just thinking about my conversation with Will yesterday. My heart is still pounding from the lie.

I've never been a great liar. But I guess I never had to be until now. Now I suppose lying and I will be close friends for the next short while.

The thought sickens me deeply.

I silently apologize to God for being such a horrible friend and horrible person.

Placing my hands on the cold marble counter before me, I lean weakly.

What am I going to do?

Live a lie? Allow my most valued relationship to crumble to dust because I can't man up and tell Will I don't love him?

But then what would happen? He'd be crushed that I chose to lie to him. We've always been one hundred percent honest with one another and I was never planning on breaking that streak.

I close my eyes, breathing in deep and trying to relax. Everything is going to be okay. I just need to think of a way to keep Will unsuspecting until I can figure something out.

A knock on the bathroom door startles me from my stupor.

"MayBell? I need in the bathroom. You've been in there for like thirty minutes. What the heck is taking so long?" My sister, Elizabeth's, voice muffles through the wooden door.

"Oh." I glare at myself in the mirror once more before unlocking the door.

It swings open to reveal Elizabeth looking annoyed but curious. She peaks into the room suspiciously causing my to roll my eyes.

"What are you doing?" I laugh.

She raises a perfectly filled in eyebrow at me, curling a strand of strawberry blonde hair behind her ear. "What were you doing in there? The water never ran so I know you weren't taking a shower and it doesn't smell so I know you didn't take a crap."

I make a disgusted face before smacking her on the arm. She jumps and letting out a wail.

"Ah! What the heck!" She whines, rubbing the fair skin.

"Stop being so nosy. I wasn't doing anything bad so calm down."

She narrows her blue eyes at me before shrugging and walking into the bathroom, shutting the door firmly behind her.

I chuckle to myself, shaking my head in amusement.

Aside from Will, Elizabeth is my dearest friend. She has been since I was born. Being only two years older than me, Elizabeth gets along well with me. She understands me and how my mind works. I don't know what I'd do without her honestly.

Yet I can't bring myself to tell her.

I'm almost afraid she'll know it's all a facade. A sad attempt to spare Will's feelings. So I feel like I can't risk it.

But I'm more afraid that she won't know. And she'll be yet another person to be to happy for us and wish us the best.

For once I wish someone would say they weren't expecting it at all and they're worried about the match.

I bite my lip, meandering into my room in a depressed state, as I flop onto my queen sized bed. I roll onto my back on the white comforter as I stare at the ceiling.

Maybe everyone is right. Maybe Will and I were always meant to end up together in a huge and horrible cliche love story type relationship that ends with marriage and children and happiness.

Blech. That can't be true.

I love Will but never like that. And I don't think I can bring myself to do so.

Don't get me wrong, Will David Johns is a specimen and I feel more than comfortable saying so because he's my best friend and I've told him on more than one occasion.

He's the depiction of the perfect guy. He's played every kind of sport you can think of and has been captain of every team he's ever been on. His smile can melt even the coldest of hearts and his heart can make even the hardest of persons smile.

He can have any girl he wants. Apparently apart from his best friend. I don't know, I guess his charms just never effected me in the way people always expect them to. Everyone always told me "you'll fall for him eventually" but it never happened.

I remember Will and I always laughing at the absurdity of him and I being an item as we ate pizza and I listened to him talk about his crush on a girl in his algebra class.

Yeah. Not so funny now I guess.

A knock on my bedroom doors interrupts my thoughts once again. I groan, rolling off of my bed and dragging myself to the door.

"What." I open it sadly.

My mother smiles at me as she rubs her hands on a white dish towel. "Honey, Will is here for you. He says you two have news?" She asks cheerily.

I sigh, placing my forehead against the wood of the doorframe. "Yeah tell him I'll be down in a minute."

She laughs happily as if she knows what this "news" is going to be and can't be more happy about it. Why can't my mom be normal and tell me I'm not aloud to date until I'm 28 and ugly?

"Okay don't be long, I don't want to keep him waiting." She winks.

I press my lips together and nod, closing my door.

I check my full length mirror to make sure I look just as disgusting as I did five minutes ago. Yep, that stain on my shirt is still there. But the look needs one more thing.

I tug my hair up into a hideous kind of bun on top of my head before flopping downstairs and approaching the boy in the living room talking to my parents.

"-oh yeah we had a great Christmas, thanks." He grins at my father.

"Well New Years Eve is only one day away so I hope you and MayBell have plans to go out or something. Staying in would be awfully boring." My mother pitches in as she sits on the arm of the large chair, rubbing my dad's shoulders.

"Hey." I smile at all of them, walking in and sitting next to Will.

I try not to pay too much attention when he scoots closer. "Hey. You look terrible." He laughs with a smile.

Despite my horrible attitude, I smile at this. Even while we're "dating" he tells me the truth. That's a relief. I silently admit to myself that I was testing him of this. But he doesn't need to know that.

"Thank you."

"Anytime." He replies, looking at me teasingly.

My father clears his throat loudly, both of our attention snapping in his direction. "You two have something to tell us?"

My stomach churns nervously at knowing I'm about to lie to the two most respected people in my life.

"Yes. We sure do." Will finds my hand, giving it a squeeze. This would give me comfort if he wasn't the one causing my jitters.

He looks at me but I shake my head. "Please, you do the honors."

Please.

"Okay." He nods.

We all pause, looking at one another as I brace myself.

"We're together as of yesterday." Will holds up our hands for them to see.

My mom jumps up faster than I can even comprehend and rushes to us, arms wide.

"Oh my goodness! Let me hug you, you're so adorable! I can't believe it's actually happening." She claps happily as Will chuckles, his cheeks turning red.

I force a smile and nod along to her as she continues to ramble about how wonderful we are. I'm not going to lie, it's all pretty strange.

Peaking around her, I find my dad who remains seated with a bewildered look on his face. Panic sets in me.

His eyes meet mine and I know he's suspicious. His eyes narrow as he asks me a silent question.

Is this for real?

I bite my bottom lip, looking over at Will as he throws his head back and laughs at something my mom said, looking the happiest I've seen him in a long time.

So I nod at him in what I hope to be a genuine manner. He blinks at me, seeming to accept this but not fully believe it, before standing and giving Will a firm and manly pat on the shoulder.

"Good luck, kid." He smiles and walks out of the room.

Will looks to me in confusion but I just laugh and shrug as if I have no idea.

An hour later we're sitting in his car on our way to get something to eat, Twenty One Pilots blaring through his car speakers.

We used to be those people that made fun of the band and called anyone who listened to them "basic" and "impressionable" but once we actually listened to some of there songs other than the monotonous junk they play on the radio, we fell in love with the likable band.

They're genius, really.

"You fell asleep in my - car I drove the whole time. But that's okay I'll just avoid the holes so you sleep fine." We sing/yell as we look at each other dramatically, pulling into a Wendy's parking lot.

"I'm driving here I sit, cursing my government - for not using my taxes to fill holes with more cement." We scream the lyrics as well as laugh at one another's faces.

After the song has finished, Will turns the car off with a chuckle, looking over at me.

"You're such a goof." He tells me with a smile.

I grin at him, feeling like we're back to our old selves and I have nothing to worry about. "Right back at you."

We stare at each other for a couple seconds before I realize my stomach is empty and I need food soon or things might get crazy.

Just as I'm about to turn and open the door, Will smiles at me, leaning forward a little bit.

My eyebrows furrow as he nears me calmly before I realize what's going on.

"Oh!" I exclaim, turning causally and opening the door, playing naive. "I'm starving, how about you?"

He raises an eyebrow at me skeptically before shrugging and opening his own door. "Yes I'm so ready for a big ole Frosty."

I laugh loudly as we walk into the building. "You have to eat something other than ice cream, Will."

"Okay mom." He replies teasingly before opening the door for me. This is nothing new seeing as he's always opened doors for me our whole friendship. Unlike most guys, he was raised that way. It's one of the things I adore about him.

"So what are you going to order?" I ask him, rocking on my heels as I stare the menu.

"Are you on the menu?" He jokes, taking my hand in his.

I snort, throwing my head back. "Sorry, but no."

He chuckles at his lame joke before focusing on the task at hand and silencing.

"Why don't you go get us a table? I know your order." He swiftly leans over and places a kiss on my cheek before I can do anything about it. The unexpected action catches me off guard and I find myself walking away and doing as he says wordlessly.

My face twitches at the broken friend boundary and I remind myself that technically we're no longer friends.

I take a seat quietly, tapping my finger on the table anxiously as I await Will's appearance with my food.

After a few minutes of agonizing patience, a tray topped with our favorite fast food items is set in front of me.

"Thank you." I chirp with a toothy smile.

He ruffles my hair with a chuckle, taking a seat across from me. I glare at him, fixing my frizzy hair, "You're a jerk." I huff.

He sends me a dimpled innocent smile before diving into his meal.

I pick up a fry, dipping it into a tiny container of ketchup, and placing it in my mouth. "So how's your mom?" I ask him seriously.

He stops eating and sets his burger down, giving me a sovereign look, "She's okay. I visited her last night after I went to your house. I wanted to tell her about...us before anyone else knew. I hope that's okay." He gives me a shy smile.

My heart sinks. "Yes of course it's okay. Tell her she's in my prayers and I can't wait until she's back home."

"I will." He promises genuinely.

The memory of his mother comforting me through many sicknesses and even my first ever period crosses my mind briefly as I worry about her being in a hospital alone all these hours during the day aside from the limited time family and friends are able to visit.

She's one of the sweetest people on earth who is always caring about others feelings and always taking care of everyone before herself.

They found the tumor last year. It was more than sudden and it shook Will's world, almost broke it in half in fact.

He doesn't like to talk about it a whole lot.

"She'll be okay, Will." I reach over and place my hand on his comfortingly.

He looks up at me appreciatively. "Thanks May-Bee."

A smile forms on my lips at the childhood nickname.

Maybe I should stop worrying about me in this situation and just focus on being what he needs me to be. Even if for a little while. I'd do anything to make the pain less unbearable.