GRIFFIN E. WALKER
March, 2020

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Two more days.

Just forty-eight hours and the man on my heel will no longer exist. In my everyday life, anyway.

Rachel took this entire week so seriously that whenever I made one little mistake, she was on me. She was hovering at work. She was hovering even in my free time. She was everywhere. Even though I had the man on watch. When I told her to piss off because I couldn't take it anymore, she gave me an attitude and left me for the day.

The following morning, she was texting to meet up for a coffee with her. So, I did. She drilled me about what happened to me in the one day that we didn't speak because, according to her, there was a certain glow to me. Of course, her next thought was that someone knocked me up. When I told her that I haven't had sex since the wedding, she looked at me astonished. She couldn't believe the words that left my mouth. It was understandable. She knew my body count and it was nearing triple digits.

Eh.

Maybe already reached it. Honestly, I gave up counting in the middle of my second year at university.

After she got over her shock, she continued to push me to tell her what happened. It kind of excited me to be a proper girl for a minute or two and just gush about the kiss. It was incredibly annoying of us but it felt so good. I finally had the chance to talk to someone about it without having to be afraid of hurting anyone in the process or of it ever getting out. It felt normal. Until then, it didn't even hit me how much I needed that kind of normal.

"Hold on a minute—what were you doing in town so late at night?" her eyes clouded with confusion, her eyebrows pulling inwards. Harry tried to get that out of me that night. It didn't work for him. The reason for that was simple. I used his feelings for me to distract him. Saying that makes me sound cruel and as though I had ulterior motives. I did not. I kissed him because I wanted to kiss him. However, it'd be a lie to say it didn't work in my favour in distracting him from the many questions he must have had.

"Well, I left with the intent to do something because I was bored at home. But then this black, shiny car pulled up next to me like I was in a movie or something," I explained everything very detailed. Mostly because that was normal to me but there was also the fact that it dragged my story on and gave Rachel a bit of a headache. I loved to annoy her. Being the oldest sibling in my family, I never got the chance to be truly irritating. Then she came along and everything I had in me, she got. "Then, the window rolled down and revealed Mrs Sagar."

"Griffin," she called my name in a low tone. Warning me. She was not okay with what she was hearing. It happened already so she couldn't have done much about it.

"I know what you're thinking—I was thinking it, too," I commented. "How could I be so stupid to go with her? But honestly, in that moment, I was glad I didn't piss myself at the sight of her."

Mrs Sagar was the infamous investor I met that Friday night. She was terrifying. She was insanely calm and collected, she had a rather posh accent and she did not look her age. Not that her age was common knowledge. When she approached me that afternoon, the only thing on my mind was that I could die at any moment and no one would know. The watch guard was nowhere to be seen, he probably had a break or he could've gotten killed just before. Though, when he showed up the next day, I knew he was alive and breathing. They probably paid him off to shut up about me getting taken and just wait it out until I return.

"What did she say to you? Where did she take you?" she bombarded me with questions.

"She took me to some fancy building. Swear to you, I've never seen it. She took me to an office kind of thing, filled with guards and finger print scanners. It was very high-tech," I explained. "She sat me down and told me how surprised she was to see how well I'm adjusting to this life and everything. It was very fucking scary, to be honest."

"Is that all? Did she make you sign anything or give her your information?"

"No. Neither. Though, I reckon she already knows all there is to know about me," I shrugged. "She was kind of thanking me for being so great at what I do. She said it was important that everyone gets along because that way, no mistakes are made and no trouble arises. I think she was threatening me without actually threatening me."

Rachel didn't say anything. It was probably bad. Staying out of this business was my goal. I had no interest in it. Yet, somehow, I was right in the middle of it. Regret started to fill me up as she remained silent in her seat, opposite to me. Telling her should've been my number one priority that night but it stirred me up too much that I just needed to see a face that guaranteed me comfort. I knew that Rachel would've gone ape shit on me or given me the silent treatment like she was right there. Harry, however, he knew nothing of what was happening and he had a way with words. He could distract me the same way I distracted him.

He was the only person I wanted to see that night.

"You should've called me."

"I know, but-,"

"No, Griffin. You need to call me if things like that happen," she said sternly. She was angry with me. I guess it was understandable. She understood this situation way more than I ever could have. Saying that, it didn't help that she made me feel like a child whenever I did something wrong. Of course, I was playing with my life here but she could've talked to me like I was an adult. "Did Harry pick you up from there? Did they see him at all?"

"He did and I don't know... I don't think they did."

"Wrong. You can't think in this business. You know," she pressed. "If he picked you up, they saw him. There were security cameras. They have his face, the car he drives. If you said his name, they probably know it. Even if you didn't, I assume that by now, a copy of his birth certificate is downloaded onto a hard-drive along with his family's and everything beyond that," her words made my stomach churn. The thought of that made me want to redo everything. The thought of that terrified me. It was one thing for me to be known but for Harry? He had nothing to do with this.

"I don't get it, Rach," I shook my head. "Why is he in danger? I mean, isn't Sagar on our side? They are investing in the business—or whatever it is that they are doing. How do they oppose a threat to us?"

"It's not them directly," she sighed. It seemed so confusing to me. I didn't understand anything. She wasn't a pro at explaining things, either, so that made the situation ten times harder to understand. "The point is, that you are a new face. You have a few people's attention. The fact that you're riding on my side therefore on Sagar's, means that you are a new target. One, that is easy to use as leverage."

"So, you think that by me being potentially seen at her building that night, people could be planning to take me? Or use Harry as bait to lure me in so they can lure you in and so on?"

"Yeah, basically."

"What are we going to do?"

"We?" she shook her head. "We're not going to do anything. I, however, will make some phone calls and sort this out. I don't know that boy at all but you clearly do which means you care for him. That's one weakness Sagar knows and if Sagar knows, imagine how easy it will be for others to figure that out."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you're going to stop seeing him or be prepared to pay for his funeral," she spoke with confidence, not wanting to hear me argue the idea. "I'm also going to extend the security around you and talk to Callum about installing new cameras into your building."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

There was a fight at work tonight. The guards let it play out. It was better if they beat each other to pulp than the employees. The police came, along with an ambulance. After a short statement, they left and things went back to normal. I was much too used to scenes like that.

Until my head hit the pillow at home, my mind couldn't stop replaying what Rachel told me. Demanded of me, actually. It was stupid, right? She was threatening me so I wouldn't do something mindless again. But then she sounded so fucking serious that it made my skin crawl. The thought of Harry being in danger because of me, didn't sit well with me. But neither did not seeing him. Before the chance of getting to know him even presented itself, it was stolen from me. Something constantly played into why I couldn't have him and it made me wonder if that was fate interfering, telling me that he wasn't the one for me. He felt right, though. He felt so right. After five years, he felt the way he did the morning after my birthday. When he held me and kissed my tears away. It burned but it felt good.

I guess the question I had to ask myself was whether I preferred Harry alive and breathing or dead and, well, not breathing. Answering that didn't take too long. In reality, it wasn't even a question. Though if it would've been, I wouldn't have wasted a single breath holding back my decision. Option number one. However, that meant cutting contact with him. Again. It was going to be worth it, though, right?

As I went to sleep that night, I hoped so because that was the choice I made. I was going to stop seeing him, even before we actually started going out.

It felt easy. The next morning came and I went for a walk. That was very rare. It helped me clear my head. Plus, it bounced up my steps. The app showed that I was nearing ten-thousand and it was before noon.

I missed him. I hooked up with him once and kissed him like I meant it once. It made me miss him. Maybe the years we spent apart had something to do with that, it wasn't clear to me. But it didn't change the feelings swimming around in my heart.

There was no sign of him. He must've been working which was the only explanation for his quietness. He became a chef which was honestly not surprising at all. His cooking was amazing, he had a natural talent for it. He was passionate about it and it clearly showed in the way he moved around in a kitchen. So, out of pure curiosity, that's where I headed.

Okay.

I know.

I said I was going to stop seeing him. It was the right choice. It was for his benefit. But for one, it was nearing lunch time and two, it was Lily's turn to pay for our meals. She was pregnant, by the way. She's been with her boyfriend since we finished university, they were rolling onto their sixth year together so I suppose sealing that deal off with a bun in the oven was the only right move.

I felt so weird.

Ollie proposed to his girlfriend. Lily was pregnant. Joe was still single and ready to mingle. Megan... well, Megan was floating around, trying to pick what she actually wanted from life. She's had seven different jobs since graduation and last she told us, she was looking at a new one. Then there was I, still in the same job, still without a stable relationship. Oh, and with feelings for a man who had no idea of the potential danger his life could be in just by knowing me.

I suppose my friends were also in danger by association. Though Rachel never mentioned them, it made sense.

We were all in such different stages of our life. It was crazy to think that once upon a time, we were all preparing to go out, drinking and taking everything under the sun. Well, moon most of the time. Going from being almost the same human beings to five completely different ones was so interesting to witness.

She was showing. She had the cutest little bump, ever. Pregnant women were so adorable. She was so round already. But glowing. She was absolutely glowing. Lily was one of the most gorgeous human beings on the planet and it seemed to just intensify during her pregnancy. She waved me off and called me an ass kisser but I wasn't doing it to be a suck up. She genuinely looked so good. It made me feel a little bit jealous because it seemed so far in the future for me to have something like that.

As we waited for our meal, she showed me some ultrasound pictures and ones of the little room they were renovating for when the baby arrives. In the midst of it all, I glanced around in hopes of finding Harry wandering around. But I had to realise that if he was the chef, he was probably busy cooking for us so coming here to see him was kind of stupid.

Or so I thought.

He knew I was there. I wasn't sure how but he did. Maybe my choice of food gave it away. The fact that I had to order a cheesecake? Or that I went for the chef's special? Maybe the combination of both.

They sent us a bottle of champagne to the table, free of charge. It was one of those fancy, expensive ones. Has he tried that before? He probably has. Harry is the type of person to drink champagne in the bath tub, filled with softly smelling bubbles. I bet he even has the lights dimmed with music playing in the background.

"Can't you just go to the back?" she asked me and I couldn't help but laugh. She looked at me and I knew she was serious. "You're dating finally, aren't you? Tell whoever is stopping you that he's your husband."

"Lily!" my eyes widened and she laughed. Oh my god.

"What?" she shrieked. "Please tell me you two are dating... why else would you be inviting me to this restaurant when you know it's my turn to pay."

"That's exactly why," I shrugged, smirking as I continued to eat my cheesecake.

"You are such a bitch!"

"Yes, well, should've thought of that before befriending me."

Our banter hasn't changed. That was one of the reasons why hanging out with my old crew was so important to me. Being in their presence, even if it was only one of them, reminded me of all the good times at uni. Yes, there was a lot of stress and whatnot, but they made it bearable.

We never opened the champagne. For one, Lils was pregnant and I was driving. I took it home. And then drank the whole thing. Just how I imagined Harry does. In a bath full of bubbles, with music on. I must've laid in there for hours because I had to put some more hot water in the bath and by the time my champagne was gone, the skin on my fingers turned to looking like saggy balls.

My music eventually stopped and instead, the annoying iPhone ringtone filled up my entire apartment. I connected the device to one of the Alexa's so I could enjoy the music more.

I cried as the name on the screen of my phone appeared. Why did he have to call me? Bloody hell. Ignoring him was going to be a massive problem since he had my number. And I had his. I also liked to drink. So, even if I was meant to be cutting contact with him, there was bound to be a drunken text or call at some point.

I picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey," he spoke gently. He sounded tired. I assumed he must've gotten home from work recently and thought of him calling me almost right away was making me want to cry. Why did he have to be so fucking cute? And, most importantly, when did I become such a wuss over him? Sort of missed the times when my only desire was to poke his eyeballs out with a pen for being a dick to my ex-best friend. "Is it bad timing?"

"No, you're good," I responded. "What's up? Need something?"

"Just wanted to talk to you," he replied. Fuck you. How dare he make me feel all giddy and blushy with just a few words? I hate men. And their stupid voice. And the stupid words they use. They are manipulators. Bad-bad, people.

"Did something happen?" I tried to play it off cool. Harry chuckled into the phone.

"No—just wanted to hear your voice, is all," he said like it wasn't going to make my heart plummet against my ribcage, trying to break through and plop on the floor before me. Since he was tired, his voice was slow and it became deeper than usual. "What are you doing?"

"Just lying in bed," I hummed.

"Well, what are you wearing?" he asked cheekily and then laughed when I burst out, too. "C'mon, humour me."

"What if the FBI is listening in?"

"Let's give them some entertainment," he mumbled. "I'll start. I'm in my pyjama shorts and a shirt."

"Ugh, sexy," I responded and Harry chuckled lightly. "I'm wearing a matching Monsters Inc. set. Long bottoms with short sleeves."

"Aw, shit," he acted like he was bummed. "I can't even turn this into a serious phone sex moment with you wearing something as innocent as that."

"Why? Scared you'll ruin your own childhood?"

"Just a little," he laughed. "Hey, um, did you get the champagne today?"

"Oh, yeah," I said. "Drank it all in the bath. It was so nice. Thank you."

"Of course," it wasn't necessary to see him to know he smiled. His voice gave it away. "Had I known you were coming, I would've taken my break closer to that time."

"Yeah, I was having lunch with one of my friends—Lily, if you remember her?" he hummed. "It was her turn to pay for our meal so I went a little higher on the price list."

"Always knew you were high maintenance."

"Shut the fuck up," I laughed. "I'm not."

"Mhm, alright," he teased me. How was I meant to break it to him that we couldn't see each other anymore? This was my shot to do it, wasn't it? So, why couldn't it just come out of me? It's not you, it's me. Dickheads use that excuse every day. "Have I lost you?"

"What?" my heart sank at the sudden sound of his voice. And of course, his stupid question. Why did I have to feel things?

"You went silent on me for a bit," he reminded me. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah, I'm good," I said. It wasn't a big lie. Just a little, half one. Physically, I was fine. Emotionally and mentally, well, I was dealing with it. "So, why did you want to talk to me?"

"You're really going to make me admit it, won't you?"

"Admit what?"

"That I missed you today," he said.

"Right..."

"Griffin, are you okay? You sound like you're not... here, mentally."

"What makes you say that?" I chuckled. "I'm just tired, is all."

"Okay," he sighed. "I won't keep you up any longer, then. Get some sleep, alright?"

"You're one to talk—you sound like you're half asleep already."

"It's your voice," he yawned. There was a hidden compliment in there, somewhere.

"Am I boring you?" I teased him.

"A little bit," Harry chuckled. "Hey, Griff?"

"Yep?"

"When can I see you?" the question caused me to sigh. It was heavier than anticipated, giving Harry the wrong impression. He mumbled a quite 'right', almost like he assumed I didn't want to see him. "Sorry, I thought... well, I just presumed that we were okay."

"Harry," I called his name. I felt bad. But this also gave me the opportunity to end things then and there. Did I take it? Nope. "We are okay. I'm just—I'm quite busy, you know?"

"Yeah... makes sense, I suppose."

"Harry."

"Yeah?" he sounded cold now. Before, he spoke like he wanted to be on the phone with me. Now, it felt like he did not. He may have felt embarrassed that he was so open about his feelings and I kind of kept back from doing so, making him think I didn't want what he did. But I did. I wanted it. Badly. I just couldn't have it. "Were you going to say something?"

"Just—goodnight."

"Oh," he breathed. Almost like he expected me to say something else, his voice deflated. "Alright then... goodnight."

He ended the call.