GRIFFIN E. WALKER
October, 2014

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Being back at university was not as weird as I imagined it would be. It also wasn't as exciting as some people think it is. If anything, I was dreading it because it was my final year. Unlike many others on my course, I had no plans after graduation and it was creeping up on me. It stressed me out so much that my anxiety was through the roof every single day. I ended up completely closing myself off, which wasn't new to anyone, and I pushed Nadine as far from me as it was humanly possible. I didn't want to deal with anyone or anything. Not until I had something sorted out.

My days consisted of going to class then straight home. My cousin was busy with work so, as usual, the apartment was mine for as long as he'd get home. He lived in hotels since it was easier than having to commute all the time. I suppose he needed a constant home, though, and it just so happened to work in my favour.

It was Friday and I couldn't wait to get home. I had a nine AM lecture which went straight into a two-hour seminar so by the time it was twelve, my stomach was grumbling and begging for some lunch. I decided to spend my two-hour break at Wetherspoons so I could eat and get some work done. I already knew three deadlines for three different units and I didn't want to fall behind like I did last year. After my lunch break, I had a meeting with my supervisor regarding my dissertation because that was the only time she was free and thankfully, it didn't last longer than thirty minutes.

Then, when I was so close to getting home, just as I was leaving the main building, I felt like someone was following me. The fear that set in, made my heart drop to the pit of my stomach and my throat became dry. In hopes of figuring out what was happening, I glanced in the glass door on my left to see who was behind me but by that time, I was alone.

I breathed out, relieved, that someone must have just wanted to get in front of me or something. I was kind of paranoid, I hated how unsafe I felt.

"Hi."

"Oh my god!" I screamed as I turned my head to the right the same time, I heard someone talk to me. My heart was pounding and people were looking at me as I stopped walking and pressed my hand against my chest. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" I asked Nadine's boyfriend as I started walking again. I did not need him to slow me down in getting home. Knowing how bad the traffic was around this time, I knew the bus journey home would take ages so I wouldn't be at mine until at least half three. When I looked at my phone, it was half two.

"God. I'm gonna regret this," he sighed as he spoke to himself in a dramatic tone. It made me roll my eyes. Why he decided to speak to me was not clear to me and I didn't want it to become clear. He was a dickhead and I didn't like associating myself with dickheads. "Nadine's birthday is coming up and no one knows her better than you and I."

"That's debatable."

"What?" he scoffed. "You think you know her better just because you have, what, three extra years on me?"

"You said it, not me," I smiled smugly. He was so annoying. There was a bus coming and I wondered if I should push him in front of it but then I had no idea how I'd get away with it. That idea was thrown to the side as fast as it came to my head.

"That doesn't mean that you know her better."

"Are you here to argue with me over who knows her better? Because unlike you, I have places to be," the white lie slipped through my lips like I had a degree in it. I imagined he saw through my bullshit even if he did not mention it. Somehow, the way he pushed his tongue in the side of his cheek, gave it away. He spent too much time around me for me not to notice things like that.

I kind of hated that about myself.

How I noticed things? Yeah. It hurt me more than it did me any good. The smallest change in someone's behaviour could send my mind into overthinking and there was no going back once I was in that state. With him, it wasn't as hurtful as it was with others, simply because he didn't mean anything to me to cause me pain.

"Like I said, her birthday is coming up," he sighed. "We need to plan something."

"We?" I laughed as I pressed the button and waited for the lights to turn green soon after. This man had to be joking, right? We'd never done anything together. Nadine's birthdays were usually planned by herself because she was a control freak who couldn't stand surprises. Sure, she was sweet as a chocolate cake, but when things didn't go her way... well, you just don't want to be around her.

"Did I stutter?"

"I'm not sure you know who you're talking to."

"Trust me, I think I do," he said. I hummed as we crossed the road. It was two-thirty-eight and my bus was supposed to be at the bus stop at twenty-to which meant I had two minutes left. Perfect. The less time I have to spend with him, the better for me and my remaining braincells. "Why are you rushing? Is that how badly you want to get away from me?"

"Sweet how you assume I care so much about you," an evil smile tugged on my lips as I fished for my cardholder so I could grab my bus-pass. "I have a bus to get on to take me home."

"I could give you a ride home."

"Yeah, okay," I scoffed as I sat down on the metal chair. The bus was going to be late, no surprise there. They had a bloody timetable but they never kept to it.

Eventually, Harry sat down next to me. I heard him take a deep breath as I kept looking away from him, trying to see if my fucking bus would have liked to pop up any time soon. "Look, I'm trying here."

"Sounds like a lot of effort."

"It is, so, if you could make it easier on me, I'd appreciate that."

"Yeah, see," a breathy chuckle left my lips as I turned my head. "That's what I'm not gonna do."

"I'm doing this for Nadine. You should have that goal in mind, too."

"I know you love her and all that so you feel inclined to do whatever comes out of her mouth but I'm clearly not you. If I don't want to do something, I'm not going to let someone else force me into it anyway," I shared my viewpoint with him. Of course, I wanted Nadine to not feel like she had to choose between me and her boyfriend but to clear it up on my part, I didn't make her choose anyone.

Especially not me.

I hated feeling like people had to pick me or feel sorry for me or do anything for me. That just didn't sit well with me. It wasn't my intention to keep people in my life, unless they seriously wanted to be in it because I didn't see the point in pining after those who weren't pining after me.

Therefore, plain and simple, every choice that Nadine made, was solely hers.

Well, where it affected me, anyway. I had no idea if her boyfriend drilled stuff into her—please disregard the innuendo there—but I didn't even care. That was between them. It was none of my business as it was out of my hands and it did not affect me. Nadine was her own person and she could do what she wanted to do.

"We don't have to be friends—hell, why would I want to be friends with you? No offence," he added quickly. I rolled my eyes. "I'm simply offering something to make Nadine believe we're okay."

"Why would I want to lie to my best friend?" I asked. I interrupted him but I didn't care. He was wasting my time. "You may be used to telling her little lies here and there to make your own life easier, but I'm not going to join you in that."

"I don't lie to her."

"Okay."

"Don't 'okay' me," he stood up suddenly and I laughed as I looked at him. Oops. Perhaps I got him mad? Aw. Cute. "I do not lie to her."

"And I said okay. I don't know why you're so pissed."

"Because I'm not a liar and I'd like to be not viewed as one."

"And you care what I think because?" I laughed as I stood up, my bus finally approaching the stop. "Listen. Get my number from someone if you want me to help you with this birthday party thing. I'm going home."

I put my arm out to signal the driver to stop and I saw it turn down into the stop lane. Thank fuck. It looked packed which I didn't like but what can I do? Getting a ride back with Nadine's boyfriend was not something I wanted to think of as an option so I had to suck it up.

"Don't leave when I'm talking to you."

"My bus is here and there is not another one for half an hour. Sorry if I don't fancy spending my Friday afternoon with you."

"God, you are so frustrating."

"Been called worse," I nodded as the bus stopped in front of me and its doors opened. I stepped up onto it and scanned my pass then when it beeped, indicating that it accepted it, I walked along the floor and towards the upper deck.

Please let there be a seat.

Please let there be a seat.

Oh my god. There is a seat.

Granted, it was towards the back, I didn't mind it. As long as I could sit my arse on one seat and my bag on the one next to me, I was good.

As I sat down and looked out the window, I couldn't see him in the bus stop anymore. I assumed he bolted right as I left, glad that I didn't agree to his stupid idea. Honestly, he was so obsessed with pleasing Nadine—again, disregard the innuendo—that he would have done anything to make her smile. Whilst that was adorable and I'm sure it made every women's heart melt; it just didn't interest me. I wasn't in love with Nadine so I didn't have the desire to do right by her through everything.

"Oh, piss off," I mumbled when I saw him.

On my bus.

He was putting his bus ticket away—correction, shoving it in his back pocket—as he walked down to where I was sitting. The bus moved by this point, so he almost fell into someone's lap and it made me smirk.

Thanks, bus driver.

When he reached where I sat, he was looking at my bag as if he was silently asking me to move it. I did not.

"C'mon."

"Sorry, who are you?" I pretended like I didn't know him, prepared to cause a scene if I had to. It was fun. I knew he got easily pissed off.

"Ha. Ha. Funny," he forced a smile at me and then moved and sat behind me. "So, Nadine's birthday."

"Fucking hell—do you ever shut up?" I asked as I looked for my earphones. Nothing could block this fucker out.

"I told her that I'll take care of everything but turns out, I need help."

"Hire someone to do it for you."

"Don't know if you need a reminder, but I'm broke."

"Tough luck."

"And since you think that you know Nadine better than I do, I think you're my best bet on making sure I come up with something that she actually likes."

"Wow. Three years into the relationship and you still don't know what she likes," I made the comment with a sly undertone. I had no idea what his deal was here. Whether or not this was his lame attempt at trying to get us to get along.

"I'm starting to believe that you have no idea since you are so determined to not help me."

"Yeah. I don't know much about her. Sorry. I can't help," I said because maybe that would make him piss off. I was still not over the fact that he got on my bus. Literally who does that?

"Do you really think I would be here if I could ask someone else for help?" I didn't answer him because he was boring me. He was so annoying but I think I already mentioned that.

"Do you talk about anything else? Or can you only talk about Nadine?"

"Well, I need you to help me with her birthday party. So, right now, yes. She is the only thing I can talk about."

Someone.

Please.

Come.

And.

Save.

Me.

"She prefers strawberry cake over lemon, even though she says her favourite cake is lemon. If you mix the flavours, you'll get extra points," I started. Harry leaned on the back of the chair that my bag sat on as he listened, although I assumed, he was already aware of what I was saying. "Her favourite colour is grey, so, if you want a themed party, I would go with lowkey shades from the black and white range. Some gold if you feel like it. She likes massive get-togethers but only if all the people that are close to her are present so I would invite her sisters if it's appropriate. If you were thinking of a meal and then going out later, for some reason, she's obsessed with Slug and Lettuce so get a table there and an endless supply of cocktails. That solves the going out part since she isn't the biggest fan of clubs. She much rather prefers pubs. There. I helped, now leave me alone."

"I knew this, though," he answered. "There has to be something else I don't know that would make her happy that I somehow do."

"Well, there is nothing else. I told you what you should do for her birthday."

"I want it to be special for her."

I sighed, kind of fed up of his constant chattering. Who knew he could talk so much? We rarely ever spoke, so, I suppose that explained why it felt like an enormous overload.

"I can't believe I'm actually saying this but as long as you are with her, she will be pleased with whatever you plan for the day. You could literally take her on a walk, buy her ice-cream and she'd be chuffed."

"I..." he couldn't give me a response to that and I hoped he would shut up for the rest of the ride. That actually made me wonder what he was going to do because I wasn't about to invite him up to my place.

He sat back after that. I felt it as he let his body fall against the back of the chair. That's when I finally plugged my earphones in my phone and pressed shuffle on my music. The bus was nowhere near my stop, which made me kind of moody. I was exhausted from how long today had been and I just wanted a shower and my favourite show on the telly.

It took me ten songs to get to my bus stop. Harry frantically stood up from his seat when he saw me move and followed me. As I went down the steps, he almost made me hug the floor because his stupid ass missed one and so I pretty much held his entire body weight back with mine.

"Sorry-sorry," he said quickly as he put his hands on my shoulders and squeezed them.

"Hands off," I stepped away from him. "Thanks," I smiled at the bus driver and he nodded.

"Nice one, mate," I heard Harry say as he got off the bus as well and then followed me up the street. For what reason, I didn't know. We had no business together. "So... Nadine's party."

"Not this again."

"I told you I needed your help."

"And I gave you my help on the bus."

He huffed. We kept walking. The apartment was a bit away from the bus stop which I hated but at least I got some exercise in. I didn't do much of that and that was clear in the way my arms looked. Definitely an insecurity of mine.

"Do you think UniDays do offers on birthday cakes?"

"I don't know. You should go home and check," I replied. Of course, they didn't do that. Clearly, he never used the damn thing. Not that I did. I didn't have money to be looking for discounts on things I didn't need. Getting by was enough of a trouble.

"You're being a dick."

"Maybe."

"Why?" he asked. "Why do you dislike me so much?"

"I don't dislike you."

"Hate me," he said quickly. "Whatever. Same thing."

"I don't hate you."

"Then?" he pushed. "What is it? You clearly don't want me around."

"Because you want me around?" I laughed at him. This man was nuts. "I think you made sure I know how much you despise me."

"Well... not gonna lie to your face now, am I?"

I sighed. "I don't care about you, Harry. That's all. I don't have any kind of feelings towards you."

He didn't know how to give an answer to that again. That was the second time today that I left him speechless. For some reason, it seemed like that didn't happen to him often. The fact that I could make that happen was weird. Then again, I was determined to have the last word at any given moment. Bickering with him was kind of fun. He was so easily tripped.

"Um, what are you doing?" I asked when I noticed him follow me inside the reception.

"I need to piss. Can I come up and use your bathroom please?"

I closed my eyes for a few seconds and exhaled slowly. Without an answer, I walked over to the lift and pressed the button on it. As it made its way back down, it took ages. At least it felt like it. Which meant I had to spend more time with him than I wanted to or even planned on doing.

I still couldn't believe that he got on the fucking bus and bugged me until I helped him.

"So... you're minted," he spoke up again as we stepped inside the lift. Again, I sighed as I pressed the right button to take us to my floor. Minted. Yep. I wish I was that. "I'd much rather live alone if I could."

"Yeah?" I mumbled, trying to keep the conversation going. It was half-arsed because I didn't want it to keep going but I also didn't want to stand there in silence because it was deafening.

"I like to keep to myself."

"Cool," I said. Why did he tell me that? Plus, wasn't he madly in love with Nadine? Why did he want to be alone, then? I swear relationships are more complicated than they seem. Hence why I've enjoyed the single life, well, pretty much all my life. Hook-ups were better than strings attached. It gave me the freedom of being able to keep everything private but still enjoying what my body needed. "Toilet is just h...here. Oh my god."

As I unlocked the main door and opened it, I was in the midst of explaining where he could find the toilet. Then, my eyes looked around the place until I saw my cousin, pressed against the wall with someone on their knees, mouth full of... well. Not food, that's for damn sure.

"Griffin!" he screamed my name as I turned around and buried my face in the palm of my hands. This just scarred me for the rest of my bloody life! I have no idea how I managed to get through living here without witnessing this but I suppose my luck ran out.

"Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god."

That was the only thing I kept repeating and my feet moved by themselves because I don't know how else I ended up leaning against Harry. The back of my hands were against his chest and I felt him exhale because it made my hair move.

"Ahem," he cleared his throat as if he was telling me without words that I was too close. And I knew that. But I also lost my vision due to my cousin. "It's, uh... it's safe to look now."

I peeked through my fingers and up at him. He looked down at me, his lips pressed into a thin line and his eyebrows pulled up. It was my turn to clear my throat and take a giant step back.

"As I said, toilet's in there," I opened the door awkwardly and he nodded as he disappeared inside.

What had just happened?