GRIFFIN E. WALKER
August, 2020

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Two weeks later, I felt better.

I was well enough to leave the house and take a trip down to the club. Finding Callum and Rachel there, their surprised reaction was exactly what I expected. They have not heard from me since I stormed out of their house as I continued to ignore their attempts at trying to contact me. They had absolutely no idea where I was staying because Harry and I found a place for him to move. I helped him pack his belongings over and I've been staying with him ever since.

Now, I was at Devotion with the intent to get some insight on the plan regarding the take down of Sagar. Of course, when that left my mouth, without any greetings whatsoever, they both looked at me like I was from a different planet.

Well, until Callum asked me what the fuck I was thinking, sending the security away when they were put at the house to keep me and Harry safe. Rolling my eyes, I ignored the question and it wasn't like he believed he'd get an answer, anyway. Clearly, I was fine.

Moving onto much more important business, I began to talk.

"So, you don't have a plan?" I asked because they remained quiet. "You had all this time to cook something up and you did nothing?"

"Griffin, we don't want you involved," Callum spoke up. Ha! He had a voice, after all. "After everything that happened, we decided we won't include you in anything."

"Oh, because that's the solution to everything, isn't it?" I asked with fury lacing my words, the frustration shooting through my chest as they stood before me and presented an idea that was only going to make me angrier. "Then again, it's not like I ever was included in anything, right?"

"The decision is final," Rachel said.

Laughing as she finally made herself present in the conversation, I replied. "I don't think you have the right to say that or to try and tell me it's for the better or in my favour. Nothing you ever did was in my favour."

"We're not having this conversation," she refused, talking to me like she was my superior. Meanwhile she was older than me, I wasn't at all intimidated by her.

"I think we should," Callum sighed, attracting both of our attention. The club seemed empty and it made for the perfect location to chat. "Although future plans will not include you any longer, I do believe we should talk about everything that has happened since March. Then, you may continue to work here as a manager, sticking to strict hours and solely your responsibilities and duties or you may seek employment elsewhere. Ultimately, that is your decision. But from here on out, you will no longer associate with what happens regarding our side."

Gathering around a table, it felt like my parents were about to tell me off. Callum and Rachel sat opposite to me: my cousin leaning on the table whilst his girlfriend sat back with her legs crossed and her hands resting on her thigh.

"Alright—got any questions?" he asked me and I laughed. Was he being serious right now?

"You wanted to have this chat. Talk, if you want," I shrugged. "Nothing of what you'll say to me will change my mind or ease the way I feel."

"I know that you are upset-,"

"Upset?" I interrupted him straight away. "Well, fuck, if this is me upset, I don't want to imagine what it looks like when I'm angry."

"-but we always did everything to protect you," he finished the thought. I wondered for how long he'd keep on defending himself and Rachel because I would've set a timer on my phone in order to notify me when to start paying attention.

"Yeah, I'm sure that was the intention."

"You believe I lied when I told you some of the things back at the house and I want you to know that most of everything I've said, was true."

"So, you lied, then," I spat.

"You were hired for all the reasons I've told you. But when Rachel made the decision, she had done so with the knowledge that you and your friend were no longer in touch or in a place that could lead you to ever reconnecting," he explained. "She was meant to be collateral damage and I mean that."

"Why are you telling me this? You didn't hire me. How do you know what she felt like?" I nodded towards the woman who now seemed nothing more than a stranger to me. "She's not one of the honest ones around here, clearly, I mean," I scoffed as I moved around in my seat, leaning more to the side. "She was leading me on a leash like a fucking dog, right into the lion's den. She says one thing then does something else."

"I led you into the lion's den?" Rachel scoffed, leaning forward as she pressed her index finger down on the table. "Every time I saw you sway and fall towards this life, I pushed you back with all my power. I put off the meeting you had with Sagar. I kept you from knowing more than you were allowed to know. I warned you time and time again, that getting involved with people will kill them—and you, faster than any bullet ever could," she voiced, sounding fed up. Her voice was stern and sharp. "What did you decide to do? Act like a grown up and get involved, anyway. The moment you got a taste of this life, you not only stirred trouble with Sagar but you put others in danger, yourself included."

"Now everything is my fault?" I asked in an irritated tone. "Quickly remind me of who hired the other."

That shut her up fast. I couldn't get over the fact that she hired me to get closer to Nadine so she could hit her—and for what?

I decided to ask her.

"Sagar's been involved with her family's business for a long time. We used to be on the same side, until we were not," she said. The information sounded new and had potential to be the truth. Everything they said, I doubted but could anyone blame me? "Although Sagar is powerful, once the Miller's broke off from her business, they expanded at a rapid speed and covered most of the areas. Nadine Miller was put on Sagar duty, or so it is believed, where she obtained knowledge that was harmful to her business."

That sounded like a reason to want her gone. But truthfully, I couldn't imagine Nadine in this business. Still. Which was crazy because I've spoken to her about it and she confirmed it. I suppose, since I've never actually seen her in action, my mind couldn't grasp the idea.

"This led to Sagar wanting her gone."

"Okay so you agreed to carrying out the dirty work," I summarised. "Am I meant to feel sorry for you for having to use me to get it done or something? Because I feel nothing but anger and disappointment."

"I never wanted to use you for something like this," she sighed. "I hired you with the intent but I got to know you more over the years. In case you haven't noticed, I never made a move to gain intel on Nadine Miller's whereabouts. I knew that, even though you had a rough past with her, you wouldn't want to trade her over on a silver platter. I didn't push it. I was also against sending you the information on her, I didn't want you to find her."

"I don't get it. Why didn't you fire me if I was of no use?"

"Protecting you was easier if you were involved with us," she explained. "It wasn't until you've met Sagar this year, that she became impatient."

"Why?"

"She felt you were easy enough to torture for information. She said if we won't make a move and find out where Nadine is, she will take matters into her own hands."

"How could she not find her for all these years? Isn't she super powerful?"

"She may be powerful and have a lot of eyes and hands all over the place, but like I mentioned, the Miller's grew at a pace that no one expected. Their security has always been top notch, hence Sagar's distaste towards their departure, and it has only developed over the years. She hated that they left as it left her and the business much too exposed," she spoke more about Nadine and her family. I could barely believe that she's been a part of something like this for all of her life. "They can't be easily tracked unless they want it that way."

That explained why it was so fucking hard to get a hold of Nadine. It was all Zayn, who made it possible. He was conversing with Nadine back and forth, who must've agreed to letting me see her but she mustn't have known when I'd be paying her a visit, leaving her quite surprised on the day.

"Let's say I see the position you were put in by having to get information out of me. You didn't do it which most likely helped you deal with the guilt of lying to my face," I concluded, speaking what made sense in my head. "Then what?" I questioned. Next, I looked at Callum, since he told me he was the one behind the next motives. "Why did you send me the email to get me curious after all those years of waiting?"

The two looked at each other, almost like they spoke without words, and then he started to explain.

"The incident on your birthday was supposed to end with you delivered to Sagar so she could use you to find Nadine," he said. "Next, when they took Harry, they were, again, trying to get you there in order to find out more about her. They must've figured out he was her ex and could be enough to gain a lead."

"Why didn't anyone tell me that she was coming for me?" I asked, knowing that there was no sensible answer for this. "You know, they say ignorance is bliss but you clearly knew and saw how lost and confused I was all throughout this. Explaining the situation would've been better. Then again, neither of you like to treat me like an adult so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised."

"Because we knew she was after you, we decided to put an end to all of this," Rachel spoke now.

"Right. Back to the fucking documents."

"Although Callum told you he was the one who sent it, it fell to him because I didn't want to do it," she admitted and I don't think the word 'confused' could describe how I felt anymore. These grown people were chucking blame between each other like it was a bloody ball and they were spending their summer afternoon playing.

"Jesus fucking Christ," I mumbled, shaking my head as I found the side of the bar more interesting. Remaining silent, I eventually glanced back at them, not knowing what else they would reveal at this point. Or what would surprise me because honestly, as I sat there and forced myself to be in their company, not much has managed to shock me in the past hour. "I'm guessing she's all dandy now, isn't she? Knowing that Nadine is no longer an issue."

"She could still very much be coming after you," Rachel added. "Callum didn't lie when he mentioned she may think Nadine shared information with you."

"What information, exactly?"

"Something that could take down the entire business."

"I'm not following..."

"Nadine was going to use it and go to the officials with it to take Sagar out of the game. Like I said, the Miller's are in power, they have a lot of different people on their payroll. Evidence was all they needed to make a move."

Remember when I said I was waiting for something to shock me? That did shock me a little. Realising the position of power that they were in. To have officials working for them? That was quite literally impossible for my brain to process.

"What's the plan, then?" I asked my question from earlier, again. "Because I'm not going out with that bitch still breathing after everything she's done—not to mention, if she's coming after me, then I want to stop and turn around to slap her right across the face."

"The plan is already in motion," I've been told. "My father has been working on it for months and tomorrow, everything may come to an end."

Raising my eyebrows, I asked, "Meaning?"

"Meaning-," Rachel sighed before she set her eyes on me, her lips almost curling into a smirk. "-Sagar will no longer be an issue."

Nadine will have died for nothing.

Finley will have died for nothing.

That's what it meant.

They died because Nadine knew something. They died because I led these people to them. But now Sagar was also going to die and if only I'd known this before, I wouldn't have gone to find Nadine.

No matter what was going to happen, their death was going to be my fault and it will be for nothing.

"I know that you want to be the one to pull the trigger because of what happened to your friend-,"

"And her son. My fucking boyfriend's son," I added.

"-but it is not your job to get it done," she said. "My father has been planning Sagar's death since she made a move on my mother and got her murdered. If any one of us will be making her pay, it will be him and it will be on his terms."

"Sure," I sat back, my hands moving to the side before they fell in my lap. "Let's give him the opportunity to blow that bitch's brains out. But I want to be a part of it. I want to be there when it happens—I want to make sure she suffers a long, long death," I said. One way or another, I was going to make sure she'd suffer for the way she murdered my best friend and her son. "And then, I want nothing to do with you."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Arriving at home, it was no surprise to find the house quiet and empty. Other than my feet shuffling against the wooden floors, my random humming and sometimes cursing when something didn't go my way, it was pretty lonely.

Harry was working the lunch shift so he was bound to be home around half four-fiveish which was pretty normal. Then again, he usually went to pick something up for dinner because he'd be starving and absolutely not in the mood to make food or wait for it to be done. And yes, I could've made something but honestly, this was the first proper day that I left the house.

I slept for days. And I truly mean that. I hugged the bed like it was giving me the power to live.

With everything that happened lately, my brain was completely overwhelmed. It said 'I can't do this anymore. You're gonna need to give me some time.' So, for two weeks, I cuddled the bed—and occasionally, Harry. Who was also a mess.

He worked, even with the trauma he carried. He said he couldn't not go in because he didn't want to lose his job. He said it also helped him keep his mind busy and not focusing around past events. Sometimes, it felt like he was a robot, waking up and going to work then coming right back to shower and sleep. I don't think I've ever seen him quite so worn out.

When he got home, everything went as usual. He dropped his stuff off in the living room as he leaned in for a quick kiss then carried on into the kitchen where he got cutlery from and came back with the food on a tray. Today's pick seemed to be one of the healthier options from one of our favourite places, actually. As we ate, we just watched the TV but Harry looked like he was going to fall asleep any moment. His shifts were all over the place the last few days with a dinner shift followed by a breakfast one to now having done a lunch shift. His hours were messed up.

Finishing up, I took care of the boxes and cleaned up the mess. By the time I went back, he was lying on his back with his eyes closed, one arm over them. His fingers drummed on the coffee table so I knew he was still awake. Deciding to sit on the floor, close to his head, I grabbed his hand and locked our fingers. That made him lift his head, glancing at me with a gentle smile.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I'm so tired."

"Wanna go to bed?"

"Need to sort my sleeping schedule so I'll wait until at least nine," he told me, finding the strength to sit up. He groaned as he had done so, still holding onto my hand. "How was your meeting with them?"

Laughing as he asked the question, I think that was a good enough reaction to give him a short summary of everything. Then again, to be completely fair, it went a little better than I imagined it. In fact, at first, a little bit of stress washed over me, just when I woke up this morning, thinking that things will turn out to be worse than they were. Even though I knew a lot more now than this morning, I couldn't help but feel the same way.

"I could've gone my whole life without having it."

"That bad?"

"Maybe not... think I'm just hurt because they didn't even apologise," shrugging my shoulders to take make it seem like I wasn't really that pained by this, I knew Harry saw right through it. According to him, I often downplayed my emotions, especially when something hurt me so unfortunately, he was getting better at noticing it.

"What did they say if they failed to apologise?" he asked me with a frown. "Sit up here, please."

"They tried to explain what they did," I sighed, scooting closer to him and getting comfortable on the sofa. "Apparently, I really was hired because they saw me as a link to Nadine."

"You're kidding."

Shaking my head, no, I added. "The shooting at my birthday happened because Sagar's people wanted to take me since Rachel didn't deliver anything. When they took you, they did that because they were trying to lure me in but also because they figured out you were involved with Nadine."

"That makes sense," he said. "But I don't understand why they're acting like you're supposed to forgive them just because they told you this now. I mean, wouldn't have it been better if they informed you earlier?"

"Yeah, it's fucking stupid," I replied. "So then I asked if the boss was happy now that Nadine was out of the way. Oh, one more thing," I remembered. "They debated which one of them should send me the files to get me curious and pretty much find Nadine for them. At first, I thought it was Rachel then Callum told me at their place that he sent it, only to be told today that Rachel was meant to send it but she basically chickened out."

"What the fuck?" he looked at me shocked. "I can't believe they were actually toying with you like that."

"Somehow, I can..."

"What about Sagar, then? Is she backing down?"

"Oh, right—funniest thing. She is after me now, apparently."

"For what reason?"

"I was the last person to see Nadine so she probably thinks I've been told something about her and that I'll go to the officials with it like she planned."

"No way—she was gonna grass on everyone?" he laughed, looking at me kind of shocked which explained his reaction. I nodded. "Oh, shit."

"Yeah. Only thing, it would've taken down everyone. Rachel and that since they're all linked to Sagar. Suppose I would've gone with them, too."

"Yeah, maybe it's best that no one got to rat the other out."

"But she shouldn't have died," I said. "That's what's pissing me off so much. Nadine had so much time to do it. Yet she never made a move. It was paranoia that drove Sagar to act."

"I think so, too," he agreed. "And I'm not saying this to defend that side or anything, because I still can't believe what happened, but looking at it from their perspective, I suppose it made sense. If Nadine had the means to take them down then taking her out was the only option to save themselves."

Letting his explanation sit in the air, it was logical. I suppose that anyone would've done that in order to save themselves. I was hurt because it happened to someone I knew and I knew that they didn't deserve to leave this world the way they did.

"I fucking hate them," I seethed, glancing up at Harry eventually. The anger inside of me was becoming unbearable. "I despise them to the point where I'm not sure I'll be able to hold off on murdering that bitch."

"Hey, now," he pulled me closer, hating the way I spoke. Perhaps it was a little scary and strange coming from me but it was how I felt. Harry pressed a bunch of kisses in my hair and embraced me tightly, pulling me a little more on him as he swayed us. "Don't talk to me like that. You know I hate it."

"I'm just so angry and upset. I wish I could keep my emotions at bay like you do. I just want to fucking explode."

"You're doing so well, princess."

"Really?" I pulled away from him, giving him a pointed look. He hummed and I rolled my eyes. "Oh, and you want to know something fun?"

"Sure," he pecked my lips. "Hit me."

"Sagar will be breathing dirt from six feet under by this time tomorrow," I let him know of the plans. "I hope you're prepared to fire your first gun because I have a task for you."