HARRY E. STYLES
February, 2015

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Today marked the twenty first year of me being alive. Somehow, the thought of that made me feel a little weird but also excited. This birthday was going to be celebrated a little different to my past ones, simply because I wouldn't have my girlfriend there and we'd also be missing one part of our friendship group. Adrian and I sort of fell out after everything. Well, we didn't speak, let's put it that way. He noticeably ignored me whenever I was present and he didn't spend more time at home than was required of him. Living in a house divided was not how I expected to live out the rest of my student years then again, I didn't expect to lay my head at night beside my best friend, either.

Rallying up whoever was left and interested in celebrating my twenty-first, we met everyone at the venue. Breakfast at home was smooth and thankfully, not awkward. Nadine was nowhere to be seen and Adrian left as we gathered in the kitchen. As much as it stung to see how everything played out, the shift between us was too great for it to be mended by having a simple conversation. However, being surrounded by people I knew, the familiar faces who barely had any idea of what was happening, helped me to let loose and forget about everything that went down. I needed it very much.

Beer and ping pong, pool and food, music and drinks, the party birthed itself with ease. Surprised to see Griffin Walker amongst the people who attended, Katherine didn't let me ponder over it for too long. She pushed a glass of beer in my hand and clinked our glasses before she lifted it slightly, a smile on her face and mine as we took a sip. The cold, bitter, golden liquid slid down my throat and ended in my stomach, giving me a sense of freshness as it woke me up instantly. Not long after that, she challenged me to a game of pool, knowing she'd beat my ass in the game as usual. As we began to play, it could've been luck but I was the first to score a ball in one of the holes, making me the player of the fully coloured ones. Smirking and cocking my eyebrow up at my best friend in a smug manner, I couldn't help but glance to the side where I knew Griffin stood. Licking my lips before taking another sip of my beer, Katherine breezed past me and she did not fail to poke at me.

"Keep your eyes on the game, Mister," she chuckled under her breath, amused by the fact that she managed to catch me staring. It earned her an eyeroll from me and I inhaled deeply. Ever since she persuaded me to take the witch to the art exhibition, I could not hear the end of it. Of course, she kept it quiet to everyone on the outside but when it was us two chatting, she could not shut up. Wanting to know every bit of detail to satisfy her curious mind, I did the exact opposite. Keeping the events to myself, she kept on bugging me which, realising now, explained why she didn't stop bothering me about it. "You still have a lady waiting at home."

"Yeah," I mumbled which made my best friend sigh. Sworn to positivity for this one day alone, the simple indication of Nadine soured my mood. We weren't in a place where she made me smile or long to be at home with her, cuddled on the couch. The more time we spent apart, the more it hurt yet at the same time, the more she felt like a distant memory. Noticing that I completely gave in to my thoughts, the ball hitting my fingers was all it took for me to shake out of it. "Fuck!"

"Oops," Katherine grinned at me like the evil creature she was, obviously having done that on purpose. Even though it meant she messed up her own round. "Maybe if you paid some attention..."

"Just say what you want to say," I spoke as I walked around to get a better angle of the white ball. Once positioned properly, I hit it, causing the red ball to enter the hole. With a cocky smirk, I straightened my back and moved again as I had another go. "You're giving me the eye so I know you're dying to hear your voice."

"Well... it certainly is not anything new," she leaned against the cue stick she played with, keeping her eyes on the green pool table, filled with balls. When I hit the white one, it sent them flying in every way but none shot in the hole. As I mumbled a quiet 'damn it' under my breath, Katherine walked over to the white one and bent closer to the table. "Which makes me feel like it's all we ever talk about lately."

"So, tell me something I don't already know," I chuckled. She wasn't wrong when she said it felt repetitive. My mortal enemy seemed to be the first topic to come up between us in the morning and the last one that put us to rest for the night. Whilst getting out all my feelings felt nice, it was definitely becoming a little fanatic. To some extent, it even made me think that it was wrong. My relationship was a mess and yet, the only thing my head focused on was a girl who I was supposed to dislike and ignore because of the influence she had on my girlfriend. Although, that last part was proven otherwise with Nadine showing a darker side to her.

For the rest of the game, we barely spoke about anything serious. Mainly, it was just us cursing the other out when they managed to hit a ball into the hole and pushing the other out of the way on purpose, even if they were not seriously in the way. More and more alcoholic beverages were consumed, even the sneaky bottles that Katherine hid in her bag. It felt like we were on a college trip, getting pissed in secret to make sure the teachers didn't find out. It definitely brought back a lot of memories, all of which we shared as they popped in our head.

Mingling with other friends was easy and very fun. They managed to distract me and make my birthday exciting. In that, Griffin was involved, too. It turned out she was great at ping pong and I sucked at it. She kept laughing whenever I lost the ball and had to look for it.

"It's over on your side!" she shouted as we looked at each other under the couch, both of us using the torches on our phones. Not that I could see much since she was fucking blinding me with hers. As I pushed my face closer to the floor to see the ball, all I could feel was the thumping of the music. That, mixed with the light and an incoming burp from all the beers I've had, was not a great feeling. "Bit more up... bit more... there."

"Got 'em!" I grasped the ball as I pulled away, only to whack my head against the desk that was by the sofa. I groaned with my eyes squeezed and pressed my hand to where I hit it. "That hurt."

"Good. Maybe now you came to your senses."

"Hey! Why are you being a dickhead to me? What have I done?" I yelped, feeling attacked at the response.

"You invited me to this birthday party where I know no one and those who I know, can't stand me."

"Well, maybe you should make some friends, then, shouldn't you?" I teased her and she rolled her eyes, standing back on the other end of the ping pong table. We began to play again as the music changed and the sudden shift in Griffin's behaviour at the sound of it, caught my attention. I smirked as she tried not to murmur the lyrics to the song but failed miserably when the chorus hit. "Wanna-be-singer, ey?"

"Shut up," she scoffed, making me chuckle some more. Embarrassed Griffin Walker was probably the purest form of her that I have ever seen. She never knew how to deal with it which made the situation that much more entertaining for me. So out of her comfort zone, it took a while until she recomposed herself.

To help her with that, Katherine came to get us all as she spoke the only word that would get a bunch of students to move faster than a speed train: food. Everyone surrounded the table as my best friend ordered everyone around, making sure our little inside group stuck together. There were already some waiters coming around with jugs of water and I couldn't help but reach towards them to help them out a little. Leaning over Griffin, who just so happened to find a spot next to me, cleared her throat to get my attention. When I looked down at her, I noticed that my whole body was pushing her back, giving her little to no space to breathe properly. Apologising quickly, I stood back and sat down.

"Sorry," I said again with a chuckle.

"So you said," she spoke with a playful attitude, making me scoff. She gave me shit every time she had the chance but honestly, I couldn't blame her. I was kind of a dick most of the time though I never would've admitted to it.

After everyone ordered what they wanted to eat, the waiters brought the meals out in no time. With it being my birthday, they gave us complimentary champagne which didn't exactly go with everyone's food but it was great, regardless. I reached for one of the bottles the same time Griffin did, our hands bumping into each other's. I chuckled as I let her take it, the shake of her hand not going unnoticed. I wasn't sure what brought it along, whether she was nervous or if she had one too many already.

"Pass it," I said and she wasted no time giving me the bottle. I poured her some and then myself, placing it back on the table after. "Okay?" I glanced at her as I drank from my glass, my eyebrows slightly dipped.

"Am I crying?" she asked me with her eyebrow raised, her face looking smug. Thinking about my question a little more, it would've been weird if she told me there was something wrong. Much like Katherine, she preferred keeping her troubles inside the bottle, tightly under the cap. Her question was ironic, making me roll my eyes and lean back in the chair. "I'm fine."

"Alright-alright," I put my hands up in the air as a sign of defence. "You are bitey today, aren't you?"

"Bitey?" she laughed as she dipped her chips in some mayonnaise. I scrunched my nose up at that, finding it insulting that she'd do that to the godly food that is known as potatoes. "What makes you say that?"

"Dunno... you just have a bite to everything you say," I shrugged as I continued to finish my meal. She, of course, looked at me like she had no idea what I was on about. No part of me could blame her, sometimes it was a mystery even to me.

Griffin didn't say much after that. If she was spoken to, then she carried on with the conversation which I followed from the corner of my eye, paying attention to everything that happened in a way that wasn't invasive. I wasn't sure why I had done that. It was almost like somewhere deep down, my intention was to protect her and make sure she was doing okay, no one bothering her or pushing her too far. Remembering how she told me outsiders had certain preconceived notions about her, it just came to me that the people I knew could be part of that group. In all fairness, if any bickering could be avoided, then it was no question in my mind to keep it that way.

Following the meal, we had a cake and some more champagne. The whole crew sang the happy birthday song to me which was incredibly awkward and it couldn't have ended sooner. In the midst of it all, everyone at the table was busy filming and taking photos, no doubt sharing them as soon as we all sat back down. My social media was blowing up from all the notifications but I felt bad checking them in the presence of all the guests. Plus, I kind of didn't have the time because Wesley dragged me along to the bar where he made us down twenty-one shots. I had the last one which made for two in a row, my friend patting me on the back once we finished and just sat there. I needed a minute after eleven shots.

"Would you be really mad if I challenged Walker to a game of pool?" he asked me as he leaned on my shoulder with his left arm, bent at his elbow. I chuckled as I remained seated, my legs apart and feet hooked onto the metal bar of the chair.

"Why do you need my permission, mate?" I asked, burping into my hand when I felt it bubble up in my throat. Inhaling deeply, I picked myself up a little and reached for my beer. Since we've arrived, I've lost count of how many I've had. "Go, entertain her. Said she knows no one 'n everyone she knows, dislikes her. Keep her company."

"Sweet," he responded and jumped off his chair. I watched with a shake of my head as he ran his fingers through his hair then straightened his shirt out, walking over to my mortal enemy. He knocked on her shoulder a couple of times with the tip of his finger and she turned around, looking absolutely uninterested. It made me chuckle as I drank from my beer. In the end, she gave in, nodding as she stood up and Wesley looked back at me, both of his thumbs in the air with a grin on his face. I lifted my glass and tilted it a little, smiling at his success.

Wesley liked Griffin. Whether it was romantically or if he just wanted a piece of her, I did not know. Of course, he mentioned before that he'd like to shag her but other than that, I was kind of in the dark about it. Katherine argued that he was head over heels for her, based on his actions and the way he reacted whenever she was around. However, my best friend didn't understand it at all because, and I'm quoting her, how could anyone fall for an evil bitch like her? I remember I teased her once, saying how she was the one head over heels for Wesley but she shut me down right away. That sort of gave me the idea that she was, in fact, into our friend but I never mentioned it again. I just let it brew there, knowing that it'd never really, truly leave her mind and she'd realise eventually.

Speaking of her, I caught her standing by the pool table. I didn't need to be in hearing distance to know that she got caught up with Griffin again. Their body languages told me enough. Griffin leaned against the pool table, her back facing me whilst Katherine crossed her arms and stood opposite to me. Her eyebrows dipped and her jaw hit the floor until her eyes moved to the side, looking directly at me. Sending a questioning glance her way, she looked back to the witch and said something, making her turn back. Not knowing what was happening, I waved and she placed the cue stick right on Katherine's foot then walked away, nearing me. I hid my smirk behind the glass of beer, not wanting to gas up my mortal enemy.

"She is so irritating. I can't seem to wrap my head around how you two are best friends," she vented to me as she sat down on the chair that Wesley occupied before. I leaned back on the bar with both of my elbows supporting me whilst she did the same but facing it.

"What'd she say?"

"Doesn't matter."

I chuckled. "She still got a reaction out of you."

"Yes, well, it's not hard," she scoffed. "You should know."

"I do," I said. "Doesn't mean it's not surprising when it happens."

"What's so surprising about it?"

"You seem very collected. Calm. Give off the vibe that nothing can bother you," I answered truthfully. When we weren't at each other's throat, she did seem quiet, very non-judgemental, soft. Then, when something happened, she just let the bloody dragon out, roaring fire at whoever decided to piss on her leg. "No matter how many times we argue, you just have this way of shedding your skin off like a bloody snake. It's like there's always a new layer to you and it's never the same. It makes me forget for a short while that you're so easily irritated. Does that make sense?"

"Honestly?" she looked at me for a second. I nodded. "I have absolutely no fucking clue what you just said to me."

"Got'cha."

"It's not that it didn't make sense. It's just that I wasn't paying attention."

"Still very honest," I commented.

"I heard you say I'm calm but then I just mentally disconnected from the conversation as I began to argue why that's false," slowly, I turned my head towards her as she talked, scoffing as the words processed in my brain. I watched as her glasses gradually slid down the bridge of her nose, her index finger only knocking it back in place when it was close to the tip. It made me want to itch my nose and she looked at me as I did. "Anyways. Are you going out after this?"

"Honestly, I think I'm pretty fucked as it is so I don't think I will," Griffin nodded understandingly but didn't reply. Instead, she ordered a cocktail. "Why? Are you in the mood to go out?"

"I'm not in the mood for anything lately," she sighed, making me think that she was simply wondering about my plans, trying to keep the conversation up. I noticed the bitterness in her voice, that's how I felt ever since that horrible day. Something always overshadowed my mood and it was hard to make it disappear. Even as I was surrounded by so many great people, in the back of my mind, the little nagging feeling poked at me to pay attention to what happened. "But," she spoke up. "It is your twenty-first and since I was invited here, I shouldn't be worsening your mood."

"Alright," I said, smiling just by seeing the grin on her face grow. "What do you have in mind?"

"I am quite skilled at drinking and my tolerance is pretty high so unless you've already done twenty-one shots with someone, I think we should do it."

Oh god. How was I meant to break it to her? She looked so determined to make me feel better. To make my birthday better. I mean, she was aware of the sticky situation I was in with Nadine and the fact that she wasn't here was also pretty clear. Both of us being a little bummed, I knew this would help her more than me.

So, used to making pretty bad decisions, I nodded.

"Let's do it," I drummed on the bar and she clapped her hands, grinning as she ordered the drinks.

Bloody hell.

Dreading the taste of the alcohol, the first five went down smoothly. Then I got to the sixth one and I had to request a break. Griffin teased me but didn't push it. She watched me sit there for a bit, trying to get myself together to have the next one. Even in my intoxicated state, I knew my limits. And I was nearing them.

"Okay—did you just lie to me?" she sighed, putting down the shot she was holding. I looked at her confused, not really sure of why she asked me that. "You've already done this with someone, didn't you?"

"I'm doing it with you now, yes."

"Liar!" she poked my shoulder, so hard that I yelped in surprise. "You deserve that. Liar."

"Shut up."

"Tell me you didn't lie," she dared, looking flushed from the alcohol. "Look me in the eye, all four, and tell me you didn't lie when you said you didn't already do this."

"Technically, I didn't say anything," I went around, finding a loophole and Griffin shook her head. Her eyes dead, only fixated on me, she just kept shaking her head and I couldn't help but laugh. "Hey, come on," I pretended to look sad as I draped my arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to me so I could lean my cheek on the top of her head.

"Don't touch me," she argued playfully, pushing me away from her as though she didn't want my touch on her skin at all. "Did you do it with Wesley? You did it with Wesley. I'm sick."

"What can I do to make it up to you? Hm?" I asked, leaning on the bar with my fist holding up my cheek. My legs were stretched out as I kept myself up against the chair, being closer to her than before we started drinking. Her nostrils flared as she kept her firey eyes on me, getting quite into the mad act. Drunk Harry thought it was pretty hot. "Tell me," I continued as I reached up and twirled a strand of her hair around my index finger. My eyes travelled down to glance at her lips as her mouth opened gently, inhaling suddenly.

"Well," she wetted her lips as she pulled away, sitting up on her chair properly. "For starters, you can stop touching my hair. Who knows where your hand's been," chuckling under my breath, I raised my hand in the air as I sat up properly myself and slid one of the shot glasses over to her. "You're to blame if you end up in the hospital."

"Nah, I'll leave that to you, love," hitting the bottom of the shot glass against the bar top, I threw it back, swallowing the alcohol. She scoffed at the little comment I made, remembering back to the first night out of the year and her much needed trip to the ER.

Although it took some time, we managed to clear out all the shot glasses. Feeling like the world was upside down, I was quickly dragged away to dance then play some more. I completely lost sight of the witch but then again, she wasn't exactly on my mind after that. It was almost like I needed little dosages of her to keep a clear mind and smile on my face.

Eventually, the crew began to fall. Some people left absolutely wasted, some people left as sober as they came. Thanking them all for coming, I was the last one standing with Wes, Griffin and Katherine. After I called an Uber, we waited for it and, just on brand, I kept chatting absolute shit. I could tell no one was listening to what I had to say because I literally had to force an answer out of everyone but still, I found it quite entertaining.

Until the car arrived. Katherine was an absolute wreck. Until that moment, she didn't realise that she was without her bag, being completely distracted by the screen of her phone. If that wasn't bad enough, it also contained Wesley's wallet. I personally found it very amusing as I sat in the Uber already, laughing at their little bickering. That was only the case until Kath told me to shut the hell up and I looked at her with furrowed eyebrows, hurt by the way she spoke to me.

"I'll take him home whilst you two find your stuff," Griffin offered with a sigh and I swear both of my friends were about to kiss her for it. They thanked her before they both went back inside and she sat in the car with me.

Much to her dismay, my mouth didn't seem to want to stay closed. Griffin didn't try to silence me as she leaned against the window and listened to my ramble, along with the driver. I kept talking about how much fun I had even though two fifth of the house didn't tag along. I understood why and I didn't blame them for it. Things were still off between us all and we weren't ready to discuss it, nevermind moving on from it.

When we got back to the house, I could barely stand as we got out of the Uber. After Griffin closed the door and turned around, I threw my right arm around her shoulders, chuckling as I continued to share a story of mine. Wasn't too sure how much of it came out clearly because even I noticed the way my words slurred but it made me feel good to get it out of me. Drunk me never failed to embarrass sober me.

Griffin asked for the house keys once we walked through the little gate and stopped before the door. I patted my pockets and grinned when I felt the item on the right side. I jingled it in the air and passed it to her, never once removing my arm from around her shoulders. Leaning on her provided me with great support, without her, I'm pretty sure I'd have stumbled already. As she went to open the door, it didn't click like it would do if it was closed. That only meant someone was home and even in my intoxicated state, I knew that either my girlfriend or friend was occupying the house. Of course, as we stepped in and saw right into the living room, Nadine was looking back at us. She turned her head and ignored us as Griffin helped me up the stairs and towards the room, I shared with the girl downstairs.

"No. Kathy's room, please," I sighed, my eyebrows bunched up in the middle. The witch did not ask why I wanted to go there which was nice. Would've been too much effort to explain it. "Smells like her, doesn't it?" I giggled as I sat on the bed, my shoulders and back hunched.

"Alright. You stay here and I'm sure she'll be here soon to take care of you," she replied but not to my silly question. In response, my lips pouted as I glanced up at her, upset to think that she'd leave me now. My birthday was so good. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. She was part of that and I didn't want her to leave just yet. So, my arms moved forward as they extended and almost reached her hands. "What?"

"C'mere," I smiled, the gestured making my eyes squint from how wide my grin spread. "C'mon. Hold my hand," I shook them whilst continuing to be annoying. That must've been what she thought. Although, when she reached over and placed her hands under mine, I was surprised. Expected her to push me down on the bed instead and leave me after. "Sit."

"What do you want, Harry?" she asked me once down on the bed. One of her legs pulled up, I copied the way she sat so we were facing each other. She smelled heavenly, or perhaps that's what my mind wanted me to think. Her perfume was strong and unlike Nadine's, not flowery at all. As she sat there, my eyes couldn't help but stare at her, take in all there was of her. The round cheeks, the wide nose that held her glasses, the bushy brows and her long lashes coated in countless layers of mascara. She had a curious look in her eyes, regardless of how desperately she tried to make it disappear. It seemed she was intrigued and for a moment, I completely forgot that she asked me a question.

"Today was... really nice," I said the first thing that popped in my head. It was the truth. Griffin nodded her head a few times, agreeing without words which wasn't new. My head titled a little, I raised my hand to move the singular hair strand from the side of her glasses though it was stuck between the bendy parts. The hair ripped and I was left with one half of it, the other still stuck. "Oops."

"And you are really drunk. I suggest you sleep it off," she said as she disregarded everything that just happened. There was some playfulness in her voice, a little smile in her eyes whilst she fought it off her lips. My eyes lowered down to pay close attention to them, blinking softly as my own mouth parted gently. Feeling the sudden need to touch mine with hers grow, my stomach dropped, my cheeks began to heat up. The thought swirled around in my head and continued to turn my face bright red, to the point where I had to glance away and clear my throat. It was a silly, drunken thought yet it overpowered everything else. "Are you okay?" she asked me quietly, unsure of what had just happened. My entire posture changed, my behaviour with it. For reasons unknown to me, my eyes welled up with tears, perhaps from the embarrassment I felt at the simple thought. "Hey," she put her hand on my cheek in order to gain my attention, her skin felt cold against mine.

Good god.

When she touched my face, I didn't know what to do. I felt very exposed all of a sudden yet her close proximity gave me a feeling of comfort, a moment of stillness where everything made sense. I reached upwards, my fingers wrapping around her wrist whilst my gaze lifted. Our eyes met in an instant, the frame of her glasses being the only obstacle between us. I felt her breath mix with mine as we both exhaled at the same time. There was something so calming about her presence, the perfume that blocked all my senses, making her the only thing I felt, I smelt, I breathed.

Going without notice, our faces moved closer. Griffin still held my face and my hand still held her wrist. Sneaking my right hand to her leg, it rested gently on her knee, founding it as though my touch belonged there. Much like her forehead against mine, the lure of the other intoxicating our thoughts. We were engulfed in the moment, the precious moment that sober Harry would've never allowed to happen. Drunk Harry enjoyed it, he swam in the sudden spark of happiness, the pureness of our touches.

I breathed her in and she breathed me in. It made sense. It felt right. The moment all too personal, all too intimate with our lips almost at touching point. The warmth of her mouth fanning against mine, stopping my heart then allowing it to beat at an increased pace was only going to lead us to actions we'd most likely regret the second they happen. Did it manage to stop me from anything? Absolutely not.

My eyes hazily closing, I swallowed the lump in my throat as her nose brushed against mine. Her lips being so close yet so far from mine, made my mouth burn with anticipation, with the need to push them together and hold them there for as long as she'd let me. When she began to pant, I knew there was something she also felt.

Her voice breaking as she swallowed, she said, "We shouldn't do this."

"No, we shouldn't," I agreed though with no intentions to break apart.

"We can't," she mumbled whilst she noticeably pushed her face away from mine, our noses no longer in contact as she pressed her forehead more to mine. Her breathing was heavy.

We remained in that position for what felt like hours. Her thumb caressed my cheek, making me lean into the palm of her hand more. The unfamiliarity of the situation was alluring and so powerful that I felt myself wanting to give in desperately. What I have found this time around was that the only thing keeping me from letting it happen was the voice that came from the door of the bedroom, making Griffin and I fly apart as though we burnt the other.

"What the fuck is going on here?"