HARRY E. STYLES
January, 2015

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Locked up in one of the silent study rooms at the library, I was neck deep in essays that were due sooner than I'd have liked it. I decided to do a study day, right from nine in the morning until whenever I could hold out.

Cracking my neck as it turned from side to side, I picked up my phone and leaned back in the chair. As I unlocked the device, I saw a text from my brother who was wondering how long I'd be staying with him because he needed me gone. Groaning, I ignored him and placed my phone back down. Since coming back to London, I had absolutely no desire to be in the same house as my girlfriend or the others in general. It was cowardly of me to hide out like that and remain at a distance from everyone but I wasn't ready.

In all honesty, I did not want to deal with whatever was to come. Being at home and not having the time to overthink what happened was nice. Much like the time I spent with Griffin. Her company was surprising. Never allowing myself to see her for who she really was, letting that wall drop and spending some time together to know more about her showed me a side that I assumed not many knew. She was carefree with a sense of humour I found myself relating to. Even though she played it off cool with an outer cover of being cold as a winter night, she felt like a summer evening, warm and inviting.

Hanging out with her was definitely an experience. It happened every day, the only time we spent apart being the nights we went home to sleep. The high dosage of her company was strangely refreshing. I couldn't have explained why, though. That was the worst part of it. Katherine reassured me that I didn't need to reason everything that happened, I should've just let it be. If I was happy and it made me feel good, then that was all that mattered.

And I felt good. I haven't done some of the things we did in a long time. Going bowling and visiting the art gallery were only couple of the things we jotted down and ticked off of our to do list. Once she reminded me of my comment about London having the nicest little hidden restaurants, I made sure to act as a tour guide and take her to all of my favourite ones. Thinking of food, a smile crept on my face as I remembered back to the afternoon where we—or shall I say I—made a cheesecake because, apparently, she was in the mood for that. She kept forcing me to do it, teasing me about how I was a younger Gordon Ramsay and even if I haven't made cheesecake before, I'd do a better job than she would. Nevertheless, she ate two slices of it and asked if she could take the rest home. I let her.

The last time we saw each other was the last time we spoke. It had been weird. Not the first few days. But the ones that came later. A week after not hearing her voice or seeing her face, I felt a little strange. It wasn't obvious at first because the feeling of emptiness in my chest could've been due to a lot of reasons. Then it hit me one morning when I checked my phone and didn't see a text from her about our plan for the day. She'd always remind me in the morning, just asking me what time we're meeting up and where, even though we always planned it the day before. It made me chuckle and I found it amusing. I made a comment about it once and it happened to embarrass her which was something I'd never seen before. Griffin Walker never got embarrassed yet I managed to make it happen. Her cheeks turned red and she stuttered, picked at her nails and peeled back the skin on her bottom lip with her teeth.

Still, I wasn't sure what to do. Whilst Katherine told me it was fine if I wanted to keep hanging out with her, I was uncertain if Griffin herself thought that. She could be very confusing at times, with something like this, I kind of expected her to be on the edge. Usually, I didn't mind reaching out first but with her, I waited. Kind of wondering if she'd be the one to reach out. She did not. That made me wonder if she had the same thought process as I—not being sure whether or not to reach out so she'll go with ignoring me and everything that happened instead. It wouldn't have surprised me if that was the case.

However, since my curiosity was bugging me, poking me in the side as though my breath got stuck in there after a run, I texted her. It was short, only wondering what she was up to and if she'd like to meet up. My message went through and the waiting game began. Facing my phone screen down, I got back to my essay. If I didn't look at it, perhaps time would go faster. What I had done, also made me feel slightly nervous.

A groan leaving my lips, I let my back fall against the chair.

I had all these feelings and yet it seemed to be impossible to explain them. They weren't new feelings because I've felt them before. I knew that I felt nervousness. I felt confusion. I felt joy. Yet making sense of them was difficult. Figuring out why I was quite so desperate to explain them was, in itself, difficult. It was almost like my head didn't want me to be happy without reason.

Nevertheless, punishing myself by not looking at my phone, I got quite a lot done. Feeling like today was a successful day, leaving way before I imagined I would didn't feel as horrible. Knowing that my brother wanted me out of his place so he can continue his shenanigans, I had to figure something out. Technically, I could've gone back to the house but then that would've required me to spend time around Nadine and Adrian. With the rumour that did not let me rest still in the air, it would've been very awkward. Then again, it had to be sorted out sooner rather than later.

So, I went home.

Leaving my things in the car, I slammed the door shut and locked the vehicle. Fishing for my keys, I opened the front door and walked in, only to find Wesley in the living room. As soon as I stepped in, he was on his feet and before me, grabbing me into a hug. I was ignoring him as well. Even though we had classes together, I made sure to arrive there late and sit as far away from him as it was possible, then I'd be sure to leave class early and disappear within moments.

"Want to tell me what the fuck is up with you?" he began to interrogate me as soon as he pulled away. He didn't sound angry, it was more hurt than anything else. In return, I sighed and walked past him. "Hello?"

"I just needed some time."

He scoffed. "Why?"

"No offence, mate, but it's none of your business," I said with a slight attitude. Katherine walked out of the kitchen at the same time with a questioning look in her eyes. I rolled mine as I sat on the chair by the dining table. "Is everyone home?"

"Nadine is at uni. Adrian is out," she told me and I nodded. Katherine sat down and stared at me for a short while. When she found that I wouldn't say much else, she questioned. "Where have you been?"

"Here and there."

"Really?" she raised her eyebrows curiously. "And, pray tell, where exactly is here and there?"

"Somewhere that's not here—why do you care, anyway?" I asked. "It's not like you're my girlfriend."

"And thank the fucking lord I am not," she leaned back in the chair, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Wesley joined us soon, taking a seat right across the table. "You can't just disappear for a week and then turn up like nothing happened."

"I didn't disappear. I was here. I went to class," I shrugged. "I just wasn't in this house."

"Well, why not?" she asked. "This is where you live. This is where I expected to see you after you told me you'll be coming back later. When you didn't, I called your mother and she said you'd left already."

"Mate, we don't care where you are staying because it seems to be safe. You are still in one piece," Wes spoke. "But I'm pissed at you. I saw you in class and you ignored me. All the texts we've sent and times we've called you, only to be left to listen to the sound of your voicemail. What's going on with you?"

"Does anyone know when Nadine is getting home? Her and I need to have a chat."

Wesley scoffed and Katherine laughed as they both found my attitude unbelievable. Perhaps it wasn't right for me to treat them that way but in that moment, they were the least of my problem. They were in the way. And they continued to be when they remained seated at the table. But no one talked. Almost like they waited for me to speak. Not that I had anything to say to them. The only people who I even came here for, were not present and that made me even more frustrated.

"From the look in your eyes... should we prepare for battle?" Wes joked. That only gained him a rather harsh stare from me. Recognising that, he swallowed thickly and nodded his head a couple of times, sinking back into his chair. My aim was not to gain more enemies than allies, even if it seemed that way. Simply, I was nervous and hated the tension that was building up to the moment where everything would fall into its place. In an ideal world, anyway. Who knew what this conversation would bring?

Katherine went to get us all three some drinks whilst we waited. Sitting there, I felt like a stranger in my own home. Curling my fingers into a fist then stretching them out, I could feel Wesley analysing me in his head. It could've been because I never showed this side of me. The angry and completely betrayed one. Not that I had any solid evidence which would've given me proper rights to feel that way but it also wasn't exactly without reason.

Meanwhile I suffered in silence, lost in my head, the whispers from the kitchen caught my attention. That's where my friends migrated to in the midst of my thinking.

"Do you have Griffin Walker's number?" it was Katherine who asked the question, one which most likely led from a long-ended conversation that I've missed.

"Yeah. Why?"  

"I just have a feeling we'll need her here," she said surely. I rolled my eyes. Still curious to know why she even brought her name up, I kept on pretending like I was still zoned out. Wesley must have looked at her confused because she continued. "She will be the one to calm either Nadine or Harry down."

"I'm still lost."

"Let's just say she has both of them wrapped around her fingers. Call her and tell her to get here as soon as she can."

I scoffed at the sound of that reasoning. Griffin Walker did not have me wrapped around her finger. It was crazy to think that Katherine made that up or that she even wanted the witch here. Like she told me many times, and since it was common knowledge, everyone knew that she could not stand the girl. The fact that she went as far as ensuring that she'll get here to end whatever will happen once Nadine steps through the door was simply ridiculous.

"That's funny, Kat," I spoke up loud enough to get their attention. Staring ahead, I could see them from the corner of my eye as they stepped out of the kitchen. "You thinking that some girl is going to be able to stop anything I have to say."

"But Griffin is not just some girl, is she?" she questioned, confidence through her voice as always. She was daring me to admit to something that I, myself, didn't even understand. As far as I knew, I just used the witch as a distraction and nothing more. She was of no interest to me. I did not care about her.

"No. She is Nadine's best friend. Which makes her a great backup for the girl who is no doubt going to make you lot stand by her, too. But no matter," I glanced at them both with an emotionless expression. "Once I get my bit out, I'll be gone and you may have all the time to lick her wounds as always."

"What's wrong with you?" she asked offendedly. "I'm literally your best friend. Every argument you have with her, or anyone for that matter, I'm on your side. You're the one who pushes me away—you disappeared for a week with no contact whatsoever. What was I meant to do? Get the police on you so I could see if you were alive? I understand you needed time to process how you feel and what you want from life but fucking hell. Do you really need to punish me through it all?"

"I'm not punishing you. I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, but you are," she laughed dryly. "You act like I'm your enemy. Like I'm out to get you. All I ever want to do is help you. The fact that you think I'd take someone's side other than yours is quite hurtful. You know I love you like a brother but this is where I draw the line. You jump from being totally open to turning into this idiot. Well, I'm not going to let you take it out on me."

"So then go away," I opened my arms in the air as I stood on my feet, pushing the chair back with the back of my knees. "Please. Both of you. Just leave me alone. I have nothing to discuss with either of you."

"Mate, knock it down," Wes spoke in a serious tone when he found it appropriate to interfere. In his head, that might have been the case. In mine, it was not. "We just want to help you. Make sure you're okay. The way you are acting right now is unlike you. It's scary."

"Yes, well, maybe if my girlfriend knew how to stop herself from reaching down someone else's pants, I wouldn't be in this very state right now, would I?" I asked him as though he was to blame for this. Of course, the revelation of the very reason my attitude was so sour shocked him to the core. Perhaps he wasn't aware of the rumour going around which explained why he was so out of the loop in the first place.

"What?"

"Oh, this is great. You haven't heard."

"This is the first, actually," he spoke. "Nadine cheated?"

"Apparently so," I sighed. "I don't know if she did. Guess we're all about to find out."

The front door opened and we all turned around. Whilst Nadine was expected, instead, my mortal enemy showed. With my eyes rolling, I sighed and muttered under my breath about how great it was that she appeared here. Just the person I wished to see. And yes, that may have actually been the case this morning but now, it was not. She was going to make this even worse, that much was clear.

"I can just leave if my presence is that unwanted," she spoke with her eyes burning a hole in my back. I glanced at Katherine who sighed and seemingly fought off her dislike towards Walker. 

"No," she told her. "Stay. Please."

"You are being nice to me. You are never nice to me. Why are you nice to me?" she asked Katherine as she walked over to us. I could tell she had done so because the scent of her perfume became that much more apparent. I moved and sat back down, lifting my glass just to do something that didn't require paying attention to newly arrived individual.

"Listen. You are Nadine's best friend. As you most likely know, they are having a... moment in-,"

"A moment?" I spoke up, laughing as I shook my head. "Wow. Great way to describe it. Not that she needs you to, right? I mean, she was the one who brought my attention to it."

"Wait, really?" Katherine whispered as she looked back at Griffin. I could tell she was turning firmer on the inside, the softness she forced herself to become to deal with this situation head on, now beginning to fade. Great. Now these two were going to have a spat. "So, who's to say you weren't the one who originated this rumour?"

"You just said I'm Nadine's best friend," she reiterated. "Why would I do something like that to her?"

"Well, you have been known to dislike Harry quite a lot," my best friend said. "It wouldn't surprise me if you felt the need to go out of your way to make his life a living hell."

"You know," Griffin took her time to speak as she collected her thoughts, walking around to lengthen the anger she must have felt. I've argued with her many times before to know that she was working on a come back that would make it difficult for anyone to top. "You and I... well, we never saw eye to eye. But there is one thing we have in common."

"Oh, I sincerely doubt that."

"We value loyalty. We are loyal to those who we love. Which is why I understand your accusation against me. You'd blame the whole world just to defend your best friend. And you know what? I admire that," she explained. The calmness in her voice made me look at her, just to see that her attention was on Katherine. The two stared at each other like they were ready to murder. It left Wesley and I standing on the side, unsure of what to expect.

"Spare me the pep talk. You and I could not be different. Just because we both stand by the people we love, doesn't make us best friends."

"Trust me, that's the last thing on this Earth that I want," Griffin scoffed, keeping to her very honest self. "What I am trying to say here is that the love and protection you feel towards Harry, is the love and protection I feel towards Nadine. There is no way in this world I'd ever do something to cause her pain. To mention it for the third time in the past twenty minutes, she is my best friend. I'm not out to get her."

"That's funny because if I recall correctly, she is kind of in a fuss with you too, isn't she? Blaming you for some old trouble you two had?" Kat smirked as though she said something to win the argument but all it did was anger Griffin more. Much too interested in what they were talking about, I refrained from interrupting. "That just makes me think that you are not nearly as innocent as you claim to be."

"Is this why I was asked to come here? To take some more beating from her?" she looked at Wes as she asked her questions. Her voice wavered a little, only for a second and it made me stand up. That was enough to stir her attention towards me. "And you—oh, you," she began to laugh like she had nothing else to do. "You keep on texting me and now you're just gonna sit there and let your friend have a go at me for no fucking reason?"

"Not that you need me to tell you, but we're not friends," I said. Her eyes widened slightly, more at the slap of the truth than anything. "You are a big girl. You can take care of yourself."

Not expecting much of a reaction from her, seeing the way her eyes welled up came as a surprise. She blinked them away at a fast pace to keep her emotions at bay. The way I kept on reacting to her reactions was annoying. This was never supposed to happen. She was never supposed to make me feel anything other than hatred and annoyance.

"Well, this is just great then, isn't it?" she questioned. "Where is Nadine? I'm so looking forward to another conversation with her. You know, because I enjoy people playing with my emotions and whatnot."

She didn't need to wait much longer. The front door opened and slammed, revealing a frustrated looking Nadine Miller. Feeling like being in the house already took too much of my energy, seeing her step in the living room, only to be followed by Adrian, my heart fell to the pit of my stomach. All of us turned to look at the other, the newly arrived housemates seemed just as confused I have been for the last however many weeks.

"What's going on here?" Nadine asked as she broke the silence. What came after that... well, that was certainly not pretty.